Lunch time. Finally. I don't have to sit at the back of the class and pretend to be listening. A whole hour of just…watching.
Watching? You may be thinking. But that's what I like to do. I like to watch everybody, work out who likes who, who's upset, who's hiding something. I like to work it all out. But the main thing I'm excited for? To see Conor.
I know we split up ages ago and I should hate him for what he put me through. I do hate him for what he did to me. But I'm still in love with him , regardless. And it feels so good to see him looking at me from across the cantine.
So anyway, I grab my pasta and sit down at the usual table at the back. Most of my friends are already there or sitting down at the same time as me. I look up as I see Conor sitting down at his table, just across from mine. We catch eyes and the whole world seems to stop. But still, I look away quickly, afraid that he'll find out how I really feel.
"You two are so pathetic" Cerys whispers at me. She's my only friend who know's that I still like him. She knew even before I told her. I guess it's more obvious than I thought.
"What are you talking about?" I pretended to be clueless.
"You know. I don't see why you don't just talk it out" She sighed, shoving a chip in her mouth.
"Some things are better left unsaid" I felt stupid for saying such a cliché line.
I managed not to look up at Conor again as I was distracted by the conversation at the table. We were talking about prom, which really didn't excite me that much but I wanted to know what was happening.
After I'd finished eating I walked into the youth center with Cerys where everyone else was already sitting on the seats. Cerys sat beside Lucy leaving me to sit next to Conor. He half smiled as I accidentally brushed my hand against his leg when I sat down.
We talked about parties and the weekend, nothing important enough to be repeated. But the whole time I felt myself blushing, purley because I was sitting beside him.
While I was sitting there I got a text from Luke, my ex boyfriend. We split up a while ago but still talk and text. 'I don't have training tomorrow because the team have a match so I'll probably see you guys out xx'.
"Who are you texting?" Conor asked.
"Your mom" Was my automatic sarcastic response
"Shut up you twat" he didn't laugh
"nobody…" I didn't want to tell him.
"Why won't you tell me? Got a new boyfriend?" He laughed.
"No! It's Luke" I spat out.
"Oh" He said simply, then turned away.
He hated him because when he wanted to get back together with me, I had moved on with Luke.
Pretty boring day today, but now as I'm getting ready to go out guess who I'm hoping I'll see? I think you can guess. Man, I hate myself sometimes, how can I still such a twat? Anyway, tomorrows the weekend so stay tuned to see what happens tonight, and over the weekend.