HELLO EVERYONE! Just thought I take a quick take on writing out a small little one shot fic. It might not be the best and I may have missed quite a few errors, but the least I can say is I tried and I got the idea out of my head finally! So as a warning there is smut...very much...I also kind of rushed it...so yeah...and lots of angst, because Fenris...duh. I may or may not continue with other major events between Hawke and Fenris. SO UH...Enjoy!
-ClockworkDinosaurs
Opening his life for Hawke to judge was not something Fenris was accustomed to, he didn't want pity, he didn't want anything. Though the subject still fills him with anger, his past with Hadriana, Hawke now knows. Comfort, it's all Fenris receives from Hawke, quickly turning Fenris away, back into himself. Making himself turn for the door in hopes Hawke would forget this ever happened. Before he would take more than a step Fenris feels a sturdy hand on his forearm...Hawke. "You don't need to leave..." Hawke's eyes fill with nothing more than admiration for Fenris. Those eyes, always a burden on his mind, weighing down, someone I need to save...someone to keep safe. Quickly turning and backing Hawke into a wall, Fenris' markings glowing. His rage inside him coming to the surface, the memories of how they would touch him, treat him. Quickly Hawke retaliates and turns the situation around with gentle kisses, switching places against the wall. Fenris now feeling not pain...but admiration against the cold stone wall. Closing his eyes and letting this difference in feeling guide him, finally relaxing into Hawke's arms.
Then quickly moving their way into Hawke's bedroom, feet barely grazing each other, eyes never fully leaving each others, lips caressing one another. As soon as Fenris' legs brushed against the bed Hawke gave Fenris a light push onto the plush bed then proceeded to unbutton his shirt, revealing a toned chest marked with scars and light hair along his chest to his naval and further. Then looking down with a playful smile at Fenris, Hawke beginning to move closer to Fenris, looking into those lost, haunting eyes. Causing Fenris to reel back onto the bed. Softly Hawke kissing Fenris "I've wanted this for so long..." words spoken between baited breaths, kisses long awaited. Lightly Hawke reaches down to unbuckle the elfs breast plate. Fenris strikes to catch Hawke's hand before the last buckle has been undone. "When you say...you've wanted this..." Fenris looking at everything but Hawke. Releasing Hawke's hand and looking away, "I have wanted this, for so long, I know it in my heart to be right. I..." Just then Hawke's lips had been captured in a long kiss by the elf. Fenris and Hawke both scrambling to get off the armor of a long day.
After much trial and error, eventually they were both down to just their breeches, the only thing stopping their joining. Quickly interrupting, "Hawke...are you positive? We Don't have to do this if you're unsure". Hakwe then grabbing hold of the small elf, "I am sure." bringing Fenris into a long kiss. Moving his hand slowly down below the breeches of the elf, grabbing his member, thus causing a reaction from the elf. Hawke let out a small laugh, not seeing as much emotion from the elf in his time with the group. Slowly stroking Fenris' member getting a small reaction each time, Fenris' member stiffening with Hawke's gentle grasp. "Hawke please.." each gasp of pleasure too much for the elf to endure, causing his hands to travel to Hawke's shoulders and squeeze lightly. Hawke moving faster, disobeying the elf with that mischievous grin, wanting to give the elf release...to give the elf what he has never had, pleasure. Fenris now leaning into Hawke moaning with pleasure, his markings giving a dull glow of blue light. Hawke leaning down to leave a mark on the cusp between Fenris' shoulder and neck, one that people will be able to see, to know...that he is his. With added sensation pushing Fenris to the edge he opens his eyes quickly using what strength he has left to push Hawke to the bed, releasing Hawke's grip from Fenris' member. A small gasp leaving Hawke as Fenris comes to him, and takes his breath away with a kiss. Fenris quickly removing his breeches as Hawke does the same, revealing themselves to each other for the first time.
Wanting to give the other the same sense of pleasure he was able to feel, Fenris moves down to Hawke's member and envelopes Hawke with his lips, lightly sucking and licking along his shaft. Small gasps from Hawke knowing right well what the elf is doing. Hawke now wanting to release, needing to release slowly moving his hand to the bottom of the elf. Lightly tracing his entrance with his fingers, readying Fenris for his member when he is able. Fenris moaning with pleasure as Hawke slips in one finger, then two, moans radiating on Hawke's member. Finally when Fenris is loose enough to allow Hawkes member, Hawke moves Fenris into a comfortable position with Fenris on his back and Hawke on top, and positions his member at Fenris' entrance, waiting for permission. Panting with want now, Fenris gives Hawke the okay and winces as Hawke begins to enter, pushing his way lightly in. Hawke moving his hand to his mouth to gain enough spit, make it more pleasurable. Gaining momentum both are moaning with a rhythm, a bond shared between them both through sex. Between moans "Ah...Fenris.." "I know Hawke, me too..." moans increasing with speed. Awaiting much needed release, at the last second, Hakwe pulling out to release on the elf's stomach. The small elf doing the same. Panting as Hawke rolls off the top of Fenris, exhausted all that is spoken is in a soft whisper from Hawke before both drift asleep in ecstasy..."Please stay" as Fenris begins to lift himself from the bed.
He remembers very little about being a slave, for the better. Causing him to remember is a discomfort even more unsettling than the markings he received so long ago. After beginning his relationship with Hawke, spending their first night together was both a pleasant and awful experience. Not because of the sex, or feeling close to someone, that bond they can now share, but because of the memories. The memories that began to come back...but why? Slight glimpses of his old life, his life of whips and chains, the pain of humiliation and starvation. The pain brought on by his ever known lyrium markings. The pain that has followed from his past. Every touch, every graze, every movement. Through time he had began to get used to the shocks they sent through his spine, the prick of skin begging to tighten. That he could handle, but the memories, no not again.
The memories began to boil his blood, and heat his face with anger though hope still lingers. Concerned, Hawke is always there. If only he had some space to process what's happened, what's happening. His feelings for Hawke are disregarded as Fenris has made his decision to leave Hawke, to walk away before he hurts him. He knows what his anger will do in a situation like this. "I'm sorry. I feel like such a fool. All I wanted was to be happy, just for a little while. Forgive me." the words stinging his lips as he walks leaving Hawke behind, alone.