Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter. I assure you, if I did, the books would be veeeeery different ;)
Warning: Contains slash aka two males in a relationship aka DS;LAFKJ;FKJA;SDKFJ;SAKFJ; 3. If you have suffered brain damage and therefore do not like that, I don't recommend reading this.
A/N: So a random plot bunny popped into my head, and I decided to roll with it. I honestly have no idea (hehehe Snape) where this is going, so sorry in advance if it makes you want to claw your internal organs out. I would also like to point out that this is told from Sirius's POV, and I don't exactly picture Sirius having a very long attention span, so not everything will be in complete sentences or make perfect sense exactly. However, please do tell me if it's superduper hard to follow, and I'll try to fix it :) With that being said, sit back and enjoy the show! Aaaaaaand of course that's sounds creepily sexual ._. okay I'm just gonna get on with the story now...
I fidgeted in my seat. Why are these chairs so damn uncomfortable? I really should speak with dearest Minerva about that...
Okay, now I'm just stalling. I should just tell him. It can't be that hard, right? Heh. Hard. Okay, okay, I'll just get on with it.
"Umm... Moony?"
Said creature of moon looked up from the incredibly dull-looking book he was reading. Doesn't he ever get tired of his stupid books? Books are boring. Moony's a marauder for Merlin's sake, he should more entertaining things to do than— focus, Sirius, focus!
"Yeah, Siri?"
Oh, crap, now I have to talk.
"Um... I— well I sort of—"
He raised an eyebrow at me. I guess I'm not usually one to be at a loss for words like this. Probably because I'm so sexy.
"Umm... the thing is I..." damn, this was harder than I thought. "Nothing, never mind!" DAMMIT, SIRIUS! WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A COWARD‽
Remus frowned. Oh crap, he must know something is up now. For you see, Sirius Orion Black is not one to chicken out. Most likely due to aforementioned sexiness.
"Sirius, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, dearest Moonington," I assured him confidently. "For you see, this was all just a prank! Bow down to me for I am almighty! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Note to self: use evil laugh more often, really spices things up.
Moony scooted closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Siri, don't even try that with me. You know that I can tell when you're upset."
Dammit, he knew me so well.
"And besides," he continued. "you know you can tell me anything, we're best friends."
I suppose I did owe it to him to tell him the truth. And who knows, maybe he'd be okay with it.
I took a deep breath. "Okay, so say there was this guy named Sir Bitey."
He smirked at my very cryptic name.
"And so, say Sir Bitey had this friend named Captain Superawesome McSexyhair. Well... how exactly do you think Sir Bitey would react if he found out that... that Captain McSexyhair... was gay?"
I looked up nervously, awaiting his reaction.
He looked shocked. Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit. Now Moony hated me. He hates me and I'm gonna die with no friends and a bunch of cats and-
But then he smiled. Okay that was good. Smiling is good, right? Well I mean, there are evil smiles. And psychopath smiles. And-
"Sirius, you're one of my best friends," he said. "I don't care who you like; it doesn't change anything."
OH THANK MERLIN, HE DOESN'T HATE ME!
"Wait," I said. "Who said anything about me? I was just talking about my dear friend, Captain Su- MMF!"
I was silenced by Moony shoving a pillow in my face. I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!
Remus laughed, seeing the very hurt expression on my face, so I took the oppurtunity to shove him off the couch, cracking up as he fell on the floor. That's what happens when you mess with the king of sexiness.
Just then, James walked in with a red handprint on his face, followed by Peter, who was carrying his books for him.
James sighed. "Padfoot, you can't torture people; we've talked about this."
But this was an injustice! "HE STARTED IT!" I exclaimed with a pout. There. That should assure him that I'm incredibly mature and that this is all Remus's fault.
Moony smirked at us. "So, James, what exactly did you attempt to do to Lily this time?" he asked matter-of-factly, as this was a completely normal conversation with us.
James glared at him. "All I'll say is this: if I were a girl, I would love to be complimented on the size of my breasts. However, some certain females do not."
Who knew? Damn, girls don't make any sense. Poor James. What does he even see in Evans, anyway? I mean, who would want to date someone who spent all their time reading and doing homework. She was practically a female Remus. Although, Moony is kind of cute. OH MY GOD DID I JUST THINK THAT?
But I mean, he did hair nice hair. And eyes. Don't even get me started on his ass. But NO! He's your best friend, Sirius! I took a few deep breaths in and out, like they say you're supposed to do when you're stressed, even though it never actually works. But this was nothing, it meant nothing, just a little crush.
I smiled and turned back to the conversation, where Remus was reprimanding a very argumentative James about how to treat women, while Peter watched adoringly. Everything's gonna be fine. Definitely not falling in love. Nope.
Aaaaaaand that's where we'll leave it for today, folks ;D So at first I was gonna have the entire fic be from Sirius's POV, but now I think it might work better for the plotline to write a few from Remus's POV; what do you sexy peoples think? Please review, your reviews really do motivate me to keep writing! YAY REVIEW WHORENESS. I'll try to update at least once a week, but no promises. :D