A/N: Okee doke! This is important so you don't get all confused and yell at me. This is a 'What If' and I'm starting WAY at the beginning! Got it? Okay then...read on pseudo humans...read on.
Disclaimer: I have been slacking off with these so bad! Damn vultures out to sue me...damn them! Damn them all!
Another Approach
Dib eyed the green child from across the schoolyard. He seemed to be inspecting the monkey bars with too much intent.
He raised an eyebrow when the other boy screeched as another kid hung upside down on the equipment and reached for him.
Dib dashed across the yard yanking the green boy Zim off balance enough to keep him in a little control. "What do you want alien?" He demanded.
Zims' eyes narrowed and he shoved Dib away. Then suddenly he paused and looked Dib over, obviously the wheels were spinning like mad in his big green head. "I, I am here to observe." Zim said haltingly.
"Observe?" Dib asked not totally believing him.
Zim nodded slowly. "I have to know, if your race can." He trailed off as his Irken mind grappled for a reason. Then he found it. "Shh, quietly over here Human." He led Dib out of the sight of others. "My race, we are trying to see if your people can take care of themselves against a coming force." He lied through his teeth but he was quite convincing.
"You are?" Dib asked dumbfounded.
Zim bit his tongue trying not to launch into a spiel that would ruin his whole facade. "Yes. We are not a peaceful people ourselves but the other race, which is coming here. They are a thousand times worse than we are. We fear for your people." He let a despaired look cross his face, well one he considered despaired, and it seemed to work.
"I, had no idea." Dib said sitting down heavily on the hard ground. "I thought."
"It's alright human. You did not know." Zim said doing his best to sound compassionate. "What is your name?"
"Dib." He got up and offered his hand. Zim only stared at it. "Oh, never mind. You're name is Zim right? Is that your real name or an alias?"
"My real name." Zim said cocking his head. "Tell me Dib, will you aid me in my research? I need to know as much about your people as I possibly can." Inside he was congratulating himself for a job-well done. The Tallest would be most pleased with this.
"You bet I will." Dib said.
"Good." Zim said biting back a sinister laugh. He would have to control himself around this 'Dib'. One false move and he was done for. "Come, you will explain to me." He and Dib walked around the playground as they talked.
Zim paid rapt attention to anything Dib said. He kept the conversation simple, Basic social structures. He was horrified to find out that there were hundreds of different social orders all over this globe. But that didn't matter, from what the Human said his current location 'Amerikha' was a Super-Power. Take this place and the invasion was as good as done.
At the end of the day Dib allowed Zim to go freely. They made plans to meet again on the 'weekend', which started tomorrow.
Zim grinned quite evilly to himself as he entered his lab. This Human wanted only to protect his home world. But in the process he was giving away vital secrets. The invasion would be done in no time.
And when the Earth was crouched under Zims' command he would be sure to make Dib understand his error. He would make sure Dib knew it was *he* who had given Earth to Zim.
A piercing maniacal laugh shattered the air. It was followed quickly by a squeal of delight and a crashing sound. "Gir? GIR! Get out of there!" Zim ran to deal with his malfunctioning SIR unit.
* * *
"It's amazing Gaz!" Dib said sitting on the couch, a look of sheer amazement on his face. "Their here to help!" He was positively giddy at the prospect.
Gaz only twisted away from him trying to concentrate on her game. But of course Dib ignored this fact.
"He said he'd tell me all about his people. This is it Gaz. The moment of truth! Real alien contact!"
He gagged as her hand shot out and grabbed him by the throat. She pressed pause with her free hand and glared sharply into his eyes. "Shut. Up." She growled before she let him go.
"Shutting up." He said quickly then dodged out of the room avoiding a flying lamp. He then trudged up the stairs going over his conversation with Zim.
It was all a dream come true! Well, except the coming invasion part anyway. Oh well, Zim's race might be able to help.
He closed himself up in his room and pulled out a note pad. He had a thousand questions he wanted to ask Zim but knew he would just forget half of them by tomorrow. So he started to write them down in his scratchy handwriting.
He had a full two pages of questions when he noticed the time. Better head off to bed.
He closed the notebook and changed into his pajamas. He didn't fall asleep very easily. He was still keyed-up from his 'discovery'.
But finally he nodded off totally unaware that somewhere close by a little green alien who had feigned being his friend was plotting the doom of his planet.
Disclaimer: I have been slacking off with these so bad! Damn vultures out to sue me...damn them! Damn them all!
Another Approach
Dib eyed the green child from across the schoolyard. He seemed to be inspecting the monkey bars with too much intent.
He raised an eyebrow when the other boy screeched as another kid hung upside down on the equipment and reached for him.
Dib dashed across the yard yanking the green boy Zim off balance enough to keep him in a little control. "What do you want alien?" He demanded.
Zims' eyes narrowed and he shoved Dib away. Then suddenly he paused and looked Dib over, obviously the wheels were spinning like mad in his big green head. "I, I am here to observe." Zim said haltingly.
"Observe?" Dib asked not totally believing him.
Zim nodded slowly. "I have to know, if your race can." He trailed off as his Irken mind grappled for a reason. Then he found it. "Shh, quietly over here Human." He led Dib out of the sight of others. "My race, we are trying to see if your people can take care of themselves against a coming force." He lied through his teeth but he was quite convincing.
"You are?" Dib asked dumbfounded.
Zim bit his tongue trying not to launch into a spiel that would ruin his whole facade. "Yes. We are not a peaceful people ourselves but the other race, which is coming here. They are a thousand times worse than we are. We fear for your people." He let a despaired look cross his face, well one he considered despaired, and it seemed to work.
"I, had no idea." Dib said sitting down heavily on the hard ground. "I thought."
"It's alright human. You did not know." Zim said doing his best to sound compassionate. "What is your name?"
"Dib." He got up and offered his hand. Zim only stared at it. "Oh, never mind. You're name is Zim right? Is that your real name or an alias?"
"My real name." Zim said cocking his head. "Tell me Dib, will you aid me in my research? I need to know as much about your people as I possibly can." Inside he was congratulating himself for a job-well done. The Tallest would be most pleased with this.
"You bet I will." Dib said.
"Good." Zim said biting back a sinister laugh. He would have to control himself around this 'Dib'. One false move and he was done for. "Come, you will explain to me." He and Dib walked around the playground as they talked.
Zim paid rapt attention to anything Dib said. He kept the conversation simple, Basic social structures. He was horrified to find out that there were hundreds of different social orders all over this globe. But that didn't matter, from what the Human said his current location 'Amerikha' was a Super-Power. Take this place and the invasion was as good as done.
At the end of the day Dib allowed Zim to go freely. They made plans to meet again on the 'weekend', which started tomorrow.
Zim grinned quite evilly to himself as he entered his lab. This Human wanted only to protect his home world. But in the process he was giving away vital secrets. The invasion would be done in no time.
And when the Earth was crouched under Zims' command he would be sure to make Dib understand his error. He would make sure Dib knew it was *he* who had given Earth to Zim.
A piercing maniacal laugh shattered the air. It was followed quickly by a squeal of delight and a crashing sound. "Gir? GIR! Get out of there!" Zim ran to deal with his malfunctioning SIR unit.
* * *
"It's amazing Gaz!" Dib said sitting on the couch, a look of sheer amazement on his face. "Their here to help!" He was positively giddy at the prospect.
Gaz only twisted away from him trying to concentrate on her game. But of course Dib ignored this fact.
"He said he'd tell me all about his people. This is it Gaz. The moment of truth! Real alien contact!"
He gagged as her hand shot out and grabbed him by the throat. She pressed pause with her free hand and glared sharply into his eyes. "Shut. Up." She growled before she let him go.
"Shutting up." He said quickly then dodged out of the room avoiding a flying lamp. He then trudged up the stairs going over his conversation with Zim.
It was all a dream come true! Well, except the coming invasion part anyway. Oh well, Zim's race might be able to help.
He closed himself up in his room and pulled out a note pad. He had a thousand questions he wanted to ask Zim but knew he would just forget half of them by tomorrow. So he started to write them down in his scratchy handwriting.
He had a full two pages of questions when he noticed the time. Better head off to bed.
He closed the notebook and changed into his pajamas. He didn't fall asleep very easily. He was still keyed-up from his 'discovery'.
But finally he nodded off totally unaware that somewhere close by a little green alien who had feigned being his friend was plotting the doom of his planet.