Note: Apologies if this makes no sense, I couldn't sleep last night and saw it as a perfect oppurtunity to write a little piece for you folks.
"I assume you all have work to be getting on with," Harry growled as he passed Zaf's work station on the way back to his office.
"Bloody hell mate, what's wrong with the old man?" Zaf turned his head expectantly at Adam, trying to stifle a giggle as Harry's office door slammed shut.
"I have no idea Zaf," he sighed, and noticing the look of mischief in Zaf's eyes, lowered his voice to a dangerous whisper before continuing. "I love you mate, but if you even think about running a book on this one I'll castrate you."
Gulping audibly, Zaf spun round in his chair before he was directly facing his computer screen. Running his hand through his hair he sighed loudly before turning back to Adam.
"Maybe you should find out Adam, I doubt it has anything to do with Juliet's visit this morning."
The sudden knock on the office door woke Harry from his trance and he snapped back into professional mode almost instantly.
"Yes?" He growled impatiently, shuffling the files on his desk together to form a neat pile.
"Harry," Adam smiled as he entered the confines of the office and closed the door carefully behind him.
"What can I do for you Mr Carter?" Harry asked, placing his elbows on the edge of his desk as he rung his hands together.
"Is something wrong Harry? Your peculiar behaviour today has struck a chord with even the most junior of staff in this department."
"Everything is fine Adam, now if you don't mind; I have files I need to sign off before Juliet goes off the handles at me yet again."
Adam contemplated ending the conversation there, but he knew Harry well enough to know that something was wrong, and he wanted to do the right thing.
"I really want to do the right thing here Harry," Adam said slowly, pulling up a chair from opposite Harry's desk. "I like to think I know you well enough to know that this isn't your everyday standard behaviour."
Harry closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath before opening them slowly and meeting Adam's gaze.
"I received a postcard in the post yesterday afternoon."
Adam paused briefly, confusion spreading across his features as he tried to piece together why on Earth it would bother Harry so much. Unless...
"Who was it from?"
Harry diverted his gaze to stare intently at his desk.
"Ruth."
"Ru.. Oh shit, is she ok?"
"She's fine," Harry forced a smile, but it faded as quickly as it had occurred.
Adam couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for the sequence of events that have led up to the moment being played before him. He could have stopped Ruth from leaving, but he knew once she was determined to get Harry out of the frame she would have gone through with it until the end, even if it meant taking her last breath in order to save him.
"She's fine?" Adam mocked disbelievingly. "She sent you a postcard just to tell you she's fine."
"Yes Adam, she did. Is there anything else you want to say on the matter?" Harry could sense his anger starting to build rapidly, and rationally even though he knew Adam was only trying to help he didn't want to talk about the meaning behind the postcard.
"Your eyes tell a different story Harry, I know that look." Adam leant back in his chair and turned his head slightly to dare a look out onto the grid. Everybody was getting on with their work.
"What do you want me to say Adam? Do you want me to tell you what happened when I found her waiting to board the barge at the docks? Would you like to me to tell you word for word for that postcard said? I don't know what you want Adam, I'm sure national security isn't threatened by the post I received yesterday so why this informal interrogation?" Harry spat every word with increased agitation and Adam sensed that if he pushed hard enough, Harry would eventually cave in and get to the heart of the matter.
"Everybody needs to talk to someone Harry; at least you can sleep easy with the knowledge that Ruth isn't actually dead." Adam winced slightly as he remembered. He knew more than most what it was like when it comes to losing a loved one.
"She told me that we did the right thing," Harry whispered, frowning slightly when Adam silently waited for him to continue. "The whole Cotterdam shenanigans," Harry clarified gently.
"I know that much Harry," Adam laughed softly. "Was that all she said?"
"She thinks of me often," Harry voice began to crack half way through and he thought it wise to keep his sentences simple for fear of a sudden breakdown in his office.
"You two were well suited, it's not often you find couples as perfect as what you two could have been."
"Could have been..." Harry laughed gently. Something felt about this. Talking to Adam about a part of his life he would normally keep quiet. It felt good to talk about Ruth to someone.
"What did you say to her before she left? That's one thing you've refused to ever even mention."
"She asked me to adopt her cats," Harry smiled as he remembered that brief encounter.
"Such a Ruth thing to say!" Adam mused.
"Yeah," Harry sighed gently. "I tried to tell her I loved her Adam."
The smile on Adam's face faded quickly as he interpreted his superior's latest words.
"Oh my, what did she say?"
"She refused to let me say it, something about it being wonderful being left unsaid."
"She was always a very private person, didn't deal too well with her emotions."
"Actions speak louder than words Adam,"
"They certain... If you didn't say them, and she didn't let you then what did you two do?"
"We kissed." Harry felt slightly guilty for confessing to Adam the true nature of their final meeting. As Adam had just said, Ruth was a very private person. He knew she wouldn't appreciate other colleagues finding out about it.
"You sly old..." Adam trailed off when he saw the look of dejection and despair flicker slightly across Harry's features. "Rather one kiss than none at all though eh Harry?"
"I suppose so," Harry chocked slightly. "But then she asked me to let her go, and it just seemed truly over."
"What did you say to that?"
"What the hell do you think I could possibly say to that? I said nothing, absolutely nothing! Then she got on that barge and I haven't seen her since! Now I really have to get on with these files. You have your information, you keep your mouth shut and you get on with your job. Is that clear?"
"Yes Harry."
As Adam rose from his chair and made a move towards the door, he paused momentarily as he heard Harry's voice call after him.
"Adam?"
"Yes,"
"Thank you."
Adam turned and smiled and the older man before nodding his head in acknowledgement of the thanks and making his way back towards Zaf's station.
"And?" Zaf chirped, tearing his eyes away from his screen as Adam came to a standstill by his desk.
"His next door neighbour's dog died," Adam replied deadpan as he realised Zaf was staring at him intently.
"He's a man of bloody stone, why would he get pissy over a stupid dog?"
"This loss was just a loss too many Zaf, when you're his age you'll understand."
As Adam walked away Zaf was left to ponder on his parting words. He'd never understand.
Please review! It made sense in my head, hopefully it makes sense to you guys too!