Pairing: Sebogan (Sebastian/Logan)

Words: 1,107

Summary: Sebastian's haunted by the memories of an accident that changed his life, and he just can't seem to let go. Sebogan angst. Sequel(?) to a previous story.

SEBOGAN ANGST i ship it so hard you don't understand

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This is a sequel(?) to another story, Saying Goodbye, which is also Sebogan, but it still needs to be edited and what not.

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So, enjoy!? (if you like angst, I guess)

A pair of arms wrapped around his waist, long fingers and soft hands crossing in front of his stomach, gently pulling him back into a once familiar warmth.

"You're back," he whispered as a pair of lips touched his neck.

"I'm back," the voice responded, causing Sebastian's eyes to flutter shut.

"I haven't seen you in so long."

"You haven't needed me."

"But I wanted you," Sebastian murmured, trying to press himself farther back into the solid warmth, but the pressure never changed, the warmth never grew stronger. He frowned. "I can't feel you. Not like I used to."

"That means you're moving on," the body responded quietly, voice soft, lips barely there against his skin.

"I don't want to move on," Sebastian spoke, voice cracking. "I want you."

An arm around his waist slid up, hand gripping at his shoulder, a useless attempt to hold him closer. "You can't have me."

Sebastian brought his hand up to cover the new one, but nothing was there. "Not anymore…"

"Not anymore," the voice confirmed.

Sebastian sighed, rolling his head back in defeat, and the body smiled against his neck, pressing another kiss.

"I really shouldn't be here," the voice murmured. "I'm distracting you."

Sebastian was quick to deny it. "I was already distracted, you're just helping me stay that way."

The voice laughed, a quiet chuckle that echoed away to nothing. "But if I don't leave, then you'll never get ready, and you'll be late."

"But you'd still be here."

"Sebastian," the voice warned.

"Logan," Sebastian spoke back.

The voice went silent.

Sebastian grimaced.

After a few moments, the body spoke again. "Here, let me help you," it said, hands coming up to tie Sebastian's tie, a peck upon his cheek when it was satisfied with it.

Sebastian smiled and peeked open his eyes, his vision drawn to the lopsided tie and unbuttoned top. He ignored it, closing his eyes once again. "Thank you, Logan."

"Anytime."

"… Really?" The brunet questioned. "Will you always come back?"

The body stilled. "You know I can't. You'll eventually move on."

"And what if I don't?"

"You'll forget me."

"I'll never forget you, Logan."

"You will someday, Sebastian."

Sebastian frowned. "You sound like you want me to forget."

"I don't want you to forget. I want you to move on."

"By forgetting?"

"If that's what it takes."

Sebastian sucked his lower lip between his teeth, eyes rolling up, tears brimming on the edge.

"Don't hold it back, Sebastian," the voice said, arms attempting to comfort him.

"I don't want to cry."

"But you need to."

"That was the last thing you ever said to me."

"Besides 'I love you'."

Sebastian nodded, sniffing. "Besides 'I love you'."

The body kissed Sebastian's jaw, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Logan? Do you love me?"

"Of course."

"Will you always?"

"I will always love you, Sebastian."

Another tear. "Will you stay with me forever?"

"As long as I can."

Sebastian choked back a sob. "That's not forever."

"Nothing is forever."

"We could have been."

The body behind him stilled. "Yeah. We could've been."

The held-back tears began to spill, sending streaks down his cheeks, gently tracing his jawline as they rolled into nothing. The body tried to wipe some away, but nothing changed. Just more tears.

"Logan?"

"Yeah, Seb?"

Sebastian sniffled. "What happens if I forget?"

"Then you can finally move on. You can have a life. Be happy."

"But I don't want to forget."

"You don't have to. But you have to move on, Sebastian."

"I don't want to move on, Logan. I want you."

"You can't have me," the voice responded once again, starting to pull away. "Not now, at least."

"But someday?"

The body nodded, pulling away even more. "But someday…" It swallowed, pausing before continuing. "Sebastian, please try to forget."

He shook his head. "I don't wan-"

"I know you don't want to," the voice interrupted. "But please try. Sebastian, you can move on. I know you can. And I know you can be happy- I want you to be happy. You can find someone new. Start a life with them. Be happy with them. And when the time comes, and you finally meet me again, we can be together, if you want. But I can't be with you now."

"Logan that's such a long time…"

"It better be. I want you to experience all I couldn't."

Sebastian let out a sob, tears streaming uncontrollably down his face, cheeks and eyes stained red. "Logan… I can't…"

"You can…"

"I don't want to."

"You need to…"

"Stop saying that!" Sebastian shouted, collapsing on the ground, unable to hold himself up anymore, and the body followed suit, holding him once again.

"Logan I can't keep doing this to myself," Sebastian said after a while, calmed down enough to speak.

"Then stop."

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm still in love with you! You've been dead for over a year, and I can't get over it!"

"You can-"

"No!" Sebastian shouted into the void, voice echoing through the empty room and down the halls. "I can't! I can't let go! I can't just move on! You were my life! You were my everything! You still are…"

And Sebastian broke down, completely unable to control his sobs wracking his body, or the tears leaving splotches on his clothing and the hardwood floor. And the body still stayed, holding him close. He punched at the ground, slamming his arms out to the side. He screamed, squeezing his eyes shut as he knocked his head back against the wooden floor repeatedly. He screamed, and wailed, and sobbed until he could barely move.

His hands his the ground one last time, and he left them splayed out, eyes open and burning as he stared at the celling. "When will it get better?" he mumbled through his hiccups and sniffles.

"Over time…. It may never stop, Sebastian, but it will get better."

Sebastian rolled onto his side, tucking his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

The body didn't follow this time.

Sebastian's lip wavered. "Are you leaving now, then?" he whimpered, and the body placed his hand on his arm for a faint moment.

"Yes."

"Do you have to?"

"… Yes."

Sebastian bit his lower lip. "Will you come back?"

"Only if you want me to."

Sebastian nodded, waiting a minute before speaking. "I love you."

The voice responded one last time before leaving, and though it was louder, and more clear than the previous statements, it was still no more than a ghost of a voice, an ever-fading memory;

"I love you, too."

Logan is a character created by the lovely CPCoulter, from her story Dalton. I seriously suggest you go check it out.

IT'S THE TITS!

Ahem...