[Notice!]: English is my second language so I apologize for spelling mistakes or things that don't make any sense.
A/N:This is a story dedicated to the DxD authors who believe their self insert/gary-stu 'oh-so-original' character is top dollar, and believes they deserve some sort of reward.
These Stu's Need To Go!
Written By: Virgin-Slayer Dragon Emperor
Okay so, the story begins with a young man named Jeremy Alex Joe Johnson Bill Smith Jr. III, but everyone always calls him Makoto "Insert some stupid ass japanese name here". He is extremely handsome and sexy and was an absolute playboy since the age of 1. He wears his black greasy hair slicked back to give him that "bad-boy-don't-fuck-with-me" look, as well as a red dragon shirt with a dragon that covers half his body. It was 35 dollars on sale at his local HMV or whatever.
Anyways back to what he was wearing. He also rocked this dime of a trench coat, it reached passed his knees, easy to conceal his arsenal of illegal knives and guns that he some how required (probably because he's perfect). He also wore these sick ass pair of black, all fucking black cargo pants that had pockets everywhere, again it wear he stores his illegal weapons and magic supernatural merchandising cause you know he always has to be on guard, be on the look out for those cocksucker fallen angels! Probably jealous of his top of the line fedora, Donaseek more like Dona-not-got-this-fedora-nigga.
Jeremy/Makoto had a bad childhood. At the age of 1 and a half, he almost died by the amount of women he attracted with his charm, and at the age of 5, his parents died by fallen angels! Ever since, Jeremy/Makoto has been on the run, killing all fallen angel trash who dare stand in his way! And when he his copious amounts of weapons didn't work out, then he would rely on his sacred gear to get him out of trouble. Actually multiple sacred gear. Jeremy/Makoto for some explainable and illogical reason, acquired every sacred gear in the world, mostly because everyone saw him as gods gift to the fandom of DxD. He also has an 18 inch cock.
So Jeremy/Makoto for some unknown reason found out he was being transferred to Kouh Academy in Japan by this secret agency he works for who he is affiliated with the angels and the devils. He is an American Transfer student and he is the half brother of; Yuuto Kiba, Sona Shit-tree, Sizechs, Donaseek, and many others, despite being from completely different nationalities. When he called them all up to tell him that he was going to be going to their school, their were beyond over-joyed. Kiba immediately offered him a position in Occult Research Club, even though he's not the one to make those decisions. Sona offered him her position as head of Student-council, stating that he was absolutely "perfect" for the job, and could do a much better job then anyone else combined times 10. Sizechs offered him a spot as a Satan because he knew Jeremy/Makoto was so damn powerful that it was the only logical thing he can think of.
His parents were trillionaires, so they left Jeremy/Makoto with zillions of dollars so he was able to by a mansion in Kuoh for him to stay during his mission
"You must kill the bad guys!" the missions director exclaimed passionately. "You're the only one who can do it Jeremy/Makoto, good luck!"
Everyone was cheering him on and clapping, all the females were crying hysterically as Jeremy/Makoto dramatically walked towards the runway.
His mission, infiltrate Kuoh and kill the fallen angels. Time for revenge. He slicked back his greasy black hair, and began walking towards his diamond plated private jet airliner, set for Kuoh academy.
On the plane, Jeremy/Makoto spent most of his time deep in thought. His angsty teenage mind spinning in circles, and he relived old memories of his parents dying at the hands of fallen angels, once again renewing his deep-seated hatred for the faction.
On the plane he was bumpin' to some Tupac and Biggie, as Jeremy/Makoto ONLY listens to the classics. He often feels bad for the mindless drones that listen to mainstream pop that is played over the radio. Peasants are what he calls them.
After that he went on to listen to some Beatles, and Led Zepplin, because new age shit is FUCKING TRASH!
After what felt like hours, the plane finally landed in Kuoh, conveniently right in front of his mansion.
"Awesome! Cool!" he said out loud of crowds of people cheered for his arrival despite never having met the kid before. He unlocked the keys and pushed open the door...
It was the next morning, Jeremy/Makoto woke up surrounded by large amounts of beautiful women, all with big breasts of course. What most of you didn't know was not only was Jeremy/Makoto known as the worlds sexiest teenager, and is in the world records as having the biggest shlong, he is also a sex prodigy and has numerous videos on Pornhub, even though he is underaged, the authorities let him get away with it anyway and were only mad because his dick was atleast 10 times the size of theirs. Jeremy/Makoto just flashed them a couple of his illegal weapons and sacred gears, and sent the entire NYPD LAPD CIA FBI US ARMY KGB and MI6 shaking in their boots. Rule number one, nobody fucks with the beast Jeremy Alex Joe Johnson Bill Smith Jr. III.
Anywho, Jeremy/Makoto untangled himself out of the numerous amounts of women that he has SEX with and went to get ready for school. He didn't feel like wearing the mandatory school uniforms and instead opted for his usual attire of slicked back greasy hair, big-ass trench coat, and baggy cargo pants and black combat boots. Making sure to having his copious amounts of illegal weapons and such in check in case he had to face off against some fallen angels, he set off for school, but not before grabbing his iphone 8, and turning on some Nirvana.
Once he arrived at school, the entire campus was full of screams and cheers, both the male and female populous lining up to get a closer look at the "mysterious yet cool" new American transfer student.
Jeremy/Makoto was used to this though as he had to deal with this sort of thing on a day to day basis. He would often blame god for making him to perfect and having everyone so attracted to him, that sometimes he just needed time alone to think about his tragic childhood.
The females were squealing with joy shouting "OMG! he is sooooo hot!" while the males were going off about how cool and down to earth he was.
The bell rang and Jeremy/Makoto arrived at his new class, and introduced himself.
"Hello my name is Jeremy Alex Joe Johnson Bill Smith Jr. III, but everyone just calls me Makoto, I'm 17, and I transferred here from America, I can speak Japanese fluently, as well as 200 other languages, I like music, fighting, surfing the internet, and tranch coats. I hope we all can be friends."
The class immediately went apeshit at this god-send of a human being. Questions came flying towards to perfect student one by one.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Do you work out?"
"Do you play videogames?"
The list went on. Jeremy/Makoto comically sweatdropped because he is in Japan now, and walked over to the empty desk next to window were he spent most of his time brooding over his hatred towards the fallen angels.
It was lunch time and Jeremy/Makoto was able to outrun from his newly acquired fan club. He spotted a nice tree and decided to have lunch their. Sitting down he took out a bento and began eating. Unknown to him, a young beautiful girl with red hair, and a ginormous rack of tits was looking out the window. She mentally groaned.
"Not another self-insert OC..." she muttered annoyingly. Her black haired friend's face immediately dropped after hearing the red head. She let out a deep sigh.
Knowing what was to come, she immediately walked over to her friend and pulled her into a hug, gently rocking her back in forth. They had all gone through this before. At first it was easy to deal with, only a few of these self-insert OC's ever existed, but they eventually began growing in numbers. All ranging from American transfer students, to long lost twin brothers of the REAL MC. It became painful. The stu's were sooooo damn bad, and this one was no different.
"I wonder what this one will make me do. You know I'm really sick of being some lonely losers sex slave, Akeno..." the red head spoke as she gladly accepted her friends comfort.
"It nothing compared to being the 'long-lost childhood friend and love interest' plot character that is over used. Seriously, these Stu's need to go!" the black haired girl, known as Akeno responded.
"At this point, I think I'd just rather marry Riser... it's no different then being 'swept' off my feet by this guy, just to be a sex doll in the end..."
Akeno's face quickly saddened, as tears gathered in the corner of her eyes. She gently whispered.
"I miss Issei..."
The red-headed girl grew sad and began sniffling a bit, reminiscing about the times she spent with her lover, her REAL lover, and not these self-insert gary-stu's.
"I do to Akeno... but don't worry, this will all be over soon, and soon enough we'll be in his arms again... I promise..."
The two friends continued to hold each other as they prepared for the agony that was to come. The thoughts of being with their beloved Issei the only thing keeping them sane.
Meanwhile in an abandoned church, another beautiful girl with giant tits is currently swaying back and forth and the stale air pushed up against the lifeless body, that was hung by a support beam. In her hand laid a note with only a couple of words.
"Not another Stu!"
The End
A/N: This is dedicated to all the shitty self-insert OC stories that have plagued DxD. I wrote this in an hour so its obviously bad, but I think its fitting for all the stu's all there. Like, why do people even self-insert themselves, are you really that pathetic? Whatever enjoy cancer when your 27. Who else is sick of these Stu's? Cause I sure am. Nobody wants to read about your self-insert OC banging all the heroines of DxD, its sad... Time to stop writing about how 'perfect' you are, cause no one wants to read it... Goodbye