She's locked up in this room, and maybe it's large and there is hardly anything in it but she feels trapped and claustrophobic. There is no way out except for that place that is screaming "Exit!"at her but she can't open those doors, she has weak arms and weak courage and weak everything. She is so weak, in fact, that the only thing she is capable of is sitting on the sidelines while she watches everyone else do the work (and she draws, because drawing is all she is good at; and she destroys, because she was made to do so.)

Roxas is there, too – she isn't alone, not completely. He visits her even though he should hate her (she tells him this one night when he comes to check if she's eaten and he looked so shocked, as if the idea was simply insane to consider) and this makes Naminé a very, very selfish girl. Because she doesn't care that he doesn't hate her and wants him to like her, wants him to get to know her (even though she is not her, she is another person that is far away and different and beautiful.)

And then he leaves because she can't stop him, though she doesn't even try because he has no reason to stay, and he still hasn't told her that he hates her. It is selfish to believe that he would return for her and only her because he needs her in some form or manner. Once he is gone Naminé stops breathing (the only explanation is that he took the air with him.)

Sora comes, too, and she fucks him up, too; makes him think he loves her, adores her, wants to save her. (She wants to be loved, to be adored, to be saved and when Roxas was around she thought she was but apparently not, since he's still not back.) And he's a very nice substitute who looks pretty and is kind and wants to protect her from everyone and thing, and Naminé couldn't be happier (sadder) by this.

It is wonderful to be wanted.

But in the end, it is inevitable that Kairi (she was Naminé, wasn't she, so why couldn't he love Naminé instead?) (Or was Naminé not Naminé, but Kairi?) returns in Sora's life, through his everlasting memories despite that she drained them away, bottled them up to break them later—but he remembers and he still doesn't hate her. She's angry, wants him to be angry too; she hurt him, she betrayed him and there isn't a thing that he wouldn't do for her.

She's lying to herself, because love is not what she really ever wanted.

She wants space, she wants to be alone – craves that isolation, that solitude.

(No, that's a lie too. What does she want?)

Roxas is gone and even Sora, his original and who he is based on and who he basically is, left her behind to rot as he slept away his worries (her pain, misery, betrayal) and slept away his feelings for her and everything including her.

Naminé stays in the white room.

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She barely survives.

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a/n: not a request, but written for demyxplaysmysitar just because.