DISCLAIMER: Final Fantasy X and its characters, places, and situations are (C) copyright 2001 Square Co. Ltd. They are reproduced here for non-commercial entertainment. All other material is mine.
Almost all of the Al Bhed words in this fic are mild swearing when Rikku gets pissed off, so you don't have know Al Bhed to get the gist of what's going on. But for those of you who really wanna know, there's a translator online.
Unused to anger, Rikku was at a loss. She didn't know what to do with herself. The debates and endless arguments over how to approach Sin made her restless - and angry. She distanced herself from her friends by searching for the Godhand in order to deal with whatever it was that was pissing her off.
Striking out on her own made her feel less claustrophobic, and some of her emotions unraveled in the desert heat as she sought the sigil to unlock her weapon. The endless sand dunes provided a sort of canvas on which to paint answers.
I'm mad 'cause I feel helpless, she reasoned. I'm afraid for Yunie and I don't feel strong enough to help her. I adore her. I don't want her to die. Her jaw hardened. I don't want anyone to die anymore.
Even when she closed her eyes she was still haunted by a vision, one that invaded her dreams so much she wasn't even sure if it was reality or fevered imaginings anymore. It had been late at night on the airship, and she'd been prowling the corridors, unable to sleep. No one else seemed to have that problem. She was alone with the constant hum of the airship and a few technicians keeping it in flight... until she came across Auron.
She couldn't bring herself to ask him to his face. She felt sure he'd looked right at her, his face a rictus of regret and pain. She'd never forget that face, the smell of alcohol, or the glow of pyreflies around him.
The memories they'd seen in Yunalesca's temple haunted her, waking and sleeping. Auron's anger had led him to attack Yunalesca, and she'd summarily killed him. Only when she'd first seen it, she hadn't realized that it was responsible for more than just a few of Auron's scars.
Maybe it was making Rikku angry, too, because the idea that Auron was dead made her feel even more helpless, afraid, and...
Enraged.
She grew more and more vicious with the fiends she met, and never called the airship to pick her up.
What would daddy think of his little girl now? she thought, plunging the Godhand into a dark flan, feeling it fall apart with twisted satisfaction. She looked up and saw Zanarkand's temple ruins before her. She felt driven, her face suffused with pressure. She charged into the temple, tearing through machinery and monks in a homicidal haze.
She stood in Yunalesca's empty chamber. She grew suddenly aware of the adrenalin shaking her body to the core. Fear, anger, despair crystallized in her soul. She screamed, unholy, unheeded, her rage an unreal construction within such a small body. Al Bhed invectives filled the room until she was hoarse, and then she sank to her knees. Her face was streaming with tears that she couldn't remember.
"Tysh oui, pedlr," she gasped. She usually cursed in Al Bhed out of habit.
"Language, Miss Al Bhed," said a hollow voice.
Rikku looked up. A fayth stood before her, its dark childlike form translucent. Rikku rose suddenly, raising the Godhand.
"That's a hell of a punch," said the fayth, "but I guarantee I can't be felled like Yunalesca. She had ties to this earth. I do not. Now what's with all the histrionics?"
"You're a fayth?" Rikku cocked her head.
"Hmm. Not like the others you've met, huh?" The fayth winked.
"To say the least," said Rikku.
"I'm different in many aspects. It was I who told Yunalesca how to defeat Sin the first time. She needed a solution, and I provided it." The specter paused thoughtfully. "Regardless of the consequences."
"But that's what started all the misunderstandings about Sin, and the killings went on and on! Innocent summoners and guardians had to die!" Rikku tightened her grip on the Godhand, raising her other hand to gather magical energy for a good dose of black magic. The unwitting fayth had given her a target. Perhaps physical hits wouldn't damage it, but would the fayth be counting on her not to know magic?
"Yunalesca did that," said the fayth. "She perpetuated the facade of hope. Her presence dominated the temple, and I was unable to speak to the pilgrims who came here."
Rikku clenched her left fist down on the magical energy, dissipating the spell with a colored 'poof' and slight sting in her palm. She lowered the Godhand. "So Yuna could learn a summon from you?"
The fayth chuckled. "Perhaps you could not understand our choices, Miss Al Bhed, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. There is no summoning that can defeat Sin, for Sin is born within from Yu Yevon."
"I know that much," said Rikku, a little ticked at the fayth's estimation of her intelligence.
"Ah, but I alone among my people discovered this, and therefore I spent my powers not on creating a summoning, but on absorbing knowledge from the farplane. I took many deaths into myself, deaths sometimes of friends and innocents. I have no power to cause death, but in feeding on it, I began to learn. I became the Fayth of Knowledge - or at least, that is the best explanation I can give you using language. Much of what I know was primarily felt, not spoken. I knew that in myself the best I could do was advise those who came to me. In the course of learning, I also gained extraordinary powers over the Farplane and the Dream of the Fayth. These things I understand in ways mortals cannot."
Her mind reeled. "So... you're like a library of all Spira's knowledge?"
"In the simplest terms, yes - all of Spira's knowledge I was able to gain. There are some secrets Yu Yevon may still hold deep within Sin. There I cannot reach." The fayth suddenly rose up, seeming much larger than it had been a minute ago. "I am also a sorcerer of nonphysical forces, those you mortals may not even reach through lifetimes of study."
"Is it all so hopeless? Is there no way to defeat Sin, except through the final summoning?"
"Yunalesca asked a much different question, Miss Al Bhed," the fayth said with a grim grin. "Her quandary was more specialized. She wanted a way to defeat Sin without discrediting Yu Yevon. She never would have gone after the core of the problem. All those years she abided here and protected her father's name - feeding the lies."
She clenched her teeth. "That camvecr p..."
"Language?" it reminded her.
"Person!" she spat, switching back from Al Bhed.
"Good girl."
She flushed, feeling patronized.
"Now, Miss Al Bhed, you have before you the Fayth of Knowledge. Anything you want to know, any impossible desire - I can provide you with solutions you cannot dream of." It bowed to her. "I am at your disposal."
"How do we defeat Yu Yevon?"
"Good question. You are guardian to the summoner Yuna?"
She nodded.
"You will have to break through Sin's shell. Once you are inside, protect your summoner. You will fight many strong enemies. Your will have to fight your aeons as well. Then Yu Yevon. That is all."
"Our aeons?" Rikku felt weak at the prospect of fighting Anima.
"Do not despair. In your journeys, you have become immensely strong, young Al Bhed."
"Have I?" She thought back on the last few weeks. Recently the fiends she encountered did not even amount to a distraction from her thoughts, and none put up enough of a fight to vent her rage. Only the monsters at the arena helped with that, and she'd already ripped them all four ways to next week.
"So we could defeat Sin now!" She jumped up, grinning, then paused. "But how would I convince them of that?"
"Demonstrate your power for them. Better yet, bring down Sin's outer shell yourself - if you have a way to get close enough, that is. You strike me as the type who wouldn't be above a bit of showing off."
She nodded solemnly.
"Something else, Miss Al Bhed?"
She hesitated.
"What problems could a powerful girl like you have?"
"I... I can't bring back my friend, even if we defeated Yu Yevon." She turned to the fayth. "He... he's a guardian. Yuna's guardian, and once Braska's. He died here, ten years ago. He was as angry at losing his friends to the final summoning as... as I am about losing him. He came here, probably screaming like I was a few minutes ago, and Yunalesca killed him. Now he's an unsent." She lowered her eyes, mortified that she'd revealed her friend's secret, ashamed that even with her power she was helpless to change the past.
"Ahh..."
She looked up at the pensive fayth.
"Now that... to change the past, something everyone wants..." The fayth rose from the floor, seeming to become more solid and transparent by turns. "After all these centuries... a real challenge." It looked down at her. When it spoke, its voice grew louder and filled the room. It even echoed off Rikku's bones, making her shiver. "Now, do you really want this? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO CHANGE THE PAST?"
The power it had proved she held was suddenly nothing, and her stomach fell. She could feel crackling in the air, her hair crawling.
"Y-yes," Rikku gasped hoarsely. "I'd do anything to bring him back. He didn't deserve to die. He was just... just... like me."
"YOU ARE FULL OF ANGER," the fayth boomed, "BUT YOUR ANGER CANNOT SAVE HIM. ANGER IS WHAT KILLED HIM."
"I-I u-u-understand," she stammered. She cleared her throat. "I'll do everything I can. I just need the chance."
"THEN LET US BEGIN. YOU MUST FIRST DRINK A POTION MIXED FROM INGREDIENTS IN YOUR SACK. YOU WILL NEED DREAM POWDER TO MAKE YOU SLEEP, A LUNAR CURTAIN TO PROTECT YOU WHERE I WILL SEND YOU, TEN GOLD HOURGLASSES TO SLOW YOU BEYOND THE THRESHOLD, AND A FARPLANE WIND."
"A Farplane Wind?" She looked up from her pack, eyes wide. "It'll kill me!"
"YOU NEED A FARPLANE WIND. DO NOT MOCK MY KNOWLEDGE." The fayth gazed down at her with dark eyes. "I WILL NOT SACRIFICE YOU FOR YOUR FRIEND. YOU ARE FAR MORE VALUABLE; _YOU_ CAN DEFEAT YU YEVON."
Rikku gathered the ingredients before her and looked up nervously.
"MIX ALSO A SECOND POTION: A PHOENIX DOWN, A REMEDY, AND HEALING WATER. THIS WILL BE SET ASIDE, TO BE GIVEN TO YOU ONCE YOUR TASK IS FINISHED."
"Wh-what will happen to me?" she stammered.
"DO NOT HESITATE. MIX YOUR INGREDIENTS, MISS AL BHED. EXPERIENCE WILL EXPLAIN FAR BETTER THAN I COULD."
If it wanted to kill me, it already would have, she thought, hoping that the cliche reasoning was true as well as trite. She mixed the potions separately, washing out her small mortar between the first and second crushings. She felt energy draining from her into the potions and became a little alarmed, but when she finished it also stopped. She straightened and tried to stand, but found her legs too weak. The fumes of the first potion were fogging her brain, giving everything a pinkish tint.
"CAP OFF THE SECOND POTION," directed the fayth.
She did as she was told, setting it aside and giving it a long look. Her life was held in that bottle - who would give it to her?
"NOW, YOUNG AL BHED, DRINK."
She looked down at the bottle in her violently trembling hands. Her heart was racing and skipping erratically. She lifted the bottle to her lips, closed her eyes, and threw her head back. The thick stuff poured down her throat, tasting first cold and acidic and then burning down into her abdomen. Her eyes flew open wide. She heard a shatter, tried to open her mouth, and fell backwards. Her heart almost stopped when the floor did not catch her. She was still falling. All light had gone from her vision.
She faintly heard the fayth's voice echo, but could not hear its words. It sounded distorted, underwater. After a moment she realized it was she who was underwater, her eyes closed, sinking slowly. She opened her eyes. Faint light filtered from a direction she guessed to be up. She swam towards it, kicking with strong legs. She broke the surface with a suddenness that startled her. The light had not brightened. She was looking up at a dark night sky, glowing with stars. The air also glowed, but with pyreflies. Treading water, she turned around. Her eyes caught a glimpse of shore.
Once she'd swum to it and stood on dry land once more, she realized she was standing by the north bank of the Moonflow. She frowned, looking all about herself. What had the fayth done to her? She paced her mind back through what it told her of the potion. It should have killed her, or at least put her to sleep. What had it meant by 'slow you beyond the threshold'?
"I said I was sorry!" snapped a terse voice behind her, and she whirled. It was coming through the trees. She crept towards it, gripping the Godhand to her chest. As she drew close to their source, she could hear the voices more clearly.
"That's it. Only thing I drink from now on is shoopuf milk!" said the first voice, gravelly and dark.
"You're sure?" said a second voice.
"We're on a journey to fight Sin and save Spira, right?" said the first voice; Rikku crept closer. "If I keep screwin' up... and..."
She could see through the trees now; she couldn't see the first speaker, but she saw the outlines of the two men watching him in the moonlight.
"...Making a fool of myself..." continued the first voice, filled with remorse, "my wife and kid are never gonna forgive me."
One of the two men nodded. "That's on the record."
Rikku gasped, because in that flash of moonlight she saw a young yet familiar face. Someone she couldn't see plunged a hand into the foliage and grabbed her by the arm. She didn't react in time to save herself from being yanked into the light and exposed, but made up for it by seizing the arm holding hers and flinging its owner hard on the sands of the Moonflow. She stared down at him, eyes hard, then backed up a step as she recognized the face across time.
The man's chest was bare, a huge intricate tattoo traced across it. He coughed, sitting up, and looked up at the young girl who'd thrown him. He chuckled hoarsely.
"Damn, she packs a wallop!" he gasped.
Rikku glanced from Jecht to Lord Summoner Braska and his other guardian, reddening. "I... I... I'm sorry... Lord Summoner. I'm sorry, Sir Jecht."
"Hey, she knows who I am, too!" Jecht flashed her a grin. "Followed us, did you?"
"I... no! I heard you talking, and I wasn't sure who you were. I didn't mean to intrude," she insisted.
"You sure you weren't spying on us?" said a voice at her elbow. "The Al Bhed aren't very supportive of what we're doing."
She turned and saw Auron towering over her. She felt a little afraid, then remembered what the fayth had said about her strength. She straightened up.
"No, Sir Auron, I was not. A girl can't be too careful around here, Al Bhed or no," she said. "What's the harm in checking to make sure three unknown male voices aren't thieves - or worse, out crusading for Al Bhed blood?"
"She has a point, Auron," said Jecht, walking over to give her a hearty slap on the back. She whirled and he backed up a step, but instead of attacking she smacked him on the butt. She grinned.
Jecht yelled with laughter. "I think we're more in danger from you, little girl."
She couldn't suppress a childish snort, and put her hands on her hips. "'Little girl,' huh? You wanna back up that condescending remark with your fists?"
Jecht held up his hands, shaking with mirth. "Hey, no way. You're more than a match for me, miss."
Rikku heard Auron draw breath and whirled on him, bringing her left hand up. "Don't even start with me, monk-man. I respect your pilgrimage. I think you're doing this for the good of Spira. That's what I'm interested in too. Can't we just be friends?"
"I think so," said Lord Braska.
Rikku grinned, and made the sign of prayer to him, bowing over her cupped hands. Auron and Jecht gasped.
"I thought the Al Bhed did not respect the teachings of Yevon," Braska said in soft surprise.
She rose. "I respect the good people have done in the name of Yevon. I just don't always agree with the teachings."
"What is your name?" said Braska.
"Rikku," she said with a grin.
"It is good to meet someone who is not blinded by prejudice," said Braska. "I wish more of my people and yours were so understanding."
"Yeah, me too," she said, thinking of Wakka and her brother.
"So, where you headed?" said Jecht.
Rikku thought quickly. "Er... Macalania, to begin with."
"'To begin with'?" said Jecht.
"Yeah. I'm kind of a traveler at the moment," said Rikku.
"Alone?" said Auron.
"Yes," she said, steeling herself under his scrutiny again. He didn't say anything deprecating this time, though, merely looked at her with a hint of a smile on his lips.
"We, too, are headed for Macalania," said Braska. "Perhaps we could travel together, for mutual protection."
She cocked her head at Braska. She was really beginning to like him. She could see shades of Yuna in him. She giggled at her own thoughts, then nodded. "That's a great idea, Lord Summoner." And I've got a few surprises in store for the three of you, she thought.