Well isn't this a tad bit surprising. Yeah its me, and yes this is a Invader Zim Fanfic I'm actually surprised that i haven't written this sooner better late than never i guess.

Yeah the idea for this kinda came to me from nowhere so i hope you guys like it.

Sadly I'm not cools enough to own Invader Zim to blah.

I Dub this Chapter 1 in the newly forged fanfic fresh my insane mind That is Forked-Tongue Invader

You know the drill

Regular talking

Italic Thinking

Bold Important Talking

Chapter 1: Zim Doesn't Like Getting Bitten

It started like any other day the awful sun blinding Zim with its horrible rays, the his idiotic robot banging its head against the wall screaming as loud as it could that it was in dire need of cheese, and the usual hate he felt toward this dirt ball prison he called a planet. But today he felt...odd he wasn't sure why, but it was definitely weird. "Why does the almighty zim feel so strange perhaps today is the day Zim will finally triumph over the warthog Dib." The thought running through his mind filled him with a new energy "TODAY IS THE DAY ZIM WILL BE THE VICTOR I CAN FEEL IT IN MY MARVELOUS BONES!!" With that Zim sprung out of his bed something he only needed to use once every earth week so that his energy banks were fully refueled. At once he began barking orders to his not so dependable servant. "GIR! Meet me in the lab Zim has many plans today." Said servant heard his master and his usually cyan eyes changed to a deep crimson "Yes Master!" The S.I.R. unit marched toward the toilet elevator when he spotted a interesting (in his robotic eyes) squirrel standing in the window eating a acorn. His eyes turning cyan once more Gir imaged the rodent beckoning to him with promises of candy, and hugs with a childlike squeal he sprang toward the squirrel, and proceeded to chase it out onto the yard.

Underground in Zim's lab:

Growing impatient with his servant Zim decided to just go ahead with his new brilliant plan. "Computer! Correct Zim if he is wrong which Zim highly doubts he is capable of being, but aren't most humans weak to poison especially from snakes? There was a long pause before the lazy voice of the computer replied "Well actually yes snake poison can be highly lethal to human..why?" A sinister grin spreads on Zim's face before he answers. "I in all my greatness have devised a mighty plan to destroy the Dib-pig. I shall construct a easily concealed weapon that at the proper time of my choosing will launch a vicious poisonous snake at the gigantic head of the Dib, thus ending his pitiful existence." There was a even longer pause before the computer spoke. "...Thats actually a pretty good plan. Shame that you'll probably screw it all up in the end like you always do." Zim completely ignorant of the computer's last comment went straight to work on the construction of his newest weapon. "Be afraid stupid Dib be very afraid...and stupid."

At the Membrane household:

Dib in all his probable insanity was sneezing up a storm. "Achoo Whats with all the Achoo sneezing this must be one of Zim's fiendish Achoo plots..or maybe someone is talking about me." Dib smiled to himself thinking of how great he was to be talked by his peers in a positive light. "Don't delude yourself stupid why would anyone want to talk about you?" His little sister Gaz walked into the room a frown stamped on her face for being awake this early on a Sunday. "Also next time you decide to wake the entire neighborhood with your sneezing and ranting how about you just forget how to breathe and suffocate ok?" With a sigh Dib decided to ignore Gaz's request. "Cmon Gaz if no one is talking about me then it must be Zim he's always scheming how to destroy me so he can finally conquer the planet." Gaz just grunted and put a piece of bread into the toaster eager to get the day started and hopefully ended soon. "Its been four years since Zim got here and you still don't want to team up with me to destroy him you know its our sole mission to unmask him to the world as a hostile alien, why is it that you refuse to help me so much?" Gaz frowned again (wait when did she stop) "Two reason's the first that i hate you, the second because he hates you. Its a mutual feeling of hate so as long as he doesn't bother me i don't care what he does." Dib smacked his gigantic head in frustration. "Ugh well I'm going to do some recon. and see whats he up to. Sweet toast!" Without even thinking Dib grabbed the freshly made toast that popped out of the toaster and ran off to do recon. leaving a twitching Gaz in the kitchen. "That was my toast...you will pay severely."

Somewhere in space yo:

A smooth spaceship cuts across the darkness of space as it speeds toward a familiar planet. Inside the spacecraft a long figure sits in the cockpit preparing the ship for a landing. "This..Earth will have to do as a place of operations for now." As it enters the atmosphere the ship begins to shimmer a bit before becoming completely invisible. A emotionless voice is heard coming from the ship "Landing in 5...4...3...2..."

Zim was finishing the final details to his Mighty Serpent Launcher Of Painful Doom as he so cleverly named it when a large earthquake shook his entire lab knocking beakers and equipment onto the ground. "What is this shaking of the earth doing this is very delicate work!" Zim in all his ranting lost his footing and fell to the ground dropping a container he was handling with great care. "Ow! the Zim has fallen..OH NO THE SNAKE HAS GOTTEN LOOSE NOOO!! DON"T BITE THE ZIM'S MIGHTY FACE!"

Dib too was almost done with his work as well, his newest idea was to place a communications interceptor device on Zim's roof enabling him to listen in on all of Zim's messages to his masters from his computer at home. "Almost done with this finished I'll be able to ready myself for all of Zim's plans before he even starts on them." A familiar earthquake shook the entire neighborhood including Zim's house which cause Dib to lose his balance and fall off the roof taking the device with him in an effort to save himself. With a sickening Thud Dib hit the ground, and before he was able to stand he was surrounded by Zim's lawn gnomes, who proceeded to beat him with mechanical bats they pulled out of seemingly nowhere, and throw him off the premises. "T-that...was...ch-cheap." Dib was able to drag himself home an air of defeat surrounding him as he imagined Zim laughing at his failure.

With a great deal of effort Zim was finally able to cram the disgruntled snake back into its canister. "Ugly snake dares to bite the Zim consider yourself on my to get list right under those infernal bees!" High up above ground a bee stops sensing danger inside its tiny insect mind its able to produce a single thought. "Our cover has been blown retreat back to base." Suddenly the bee is swatted out of existence by a small robot disguised as a dog. "Hi bee wanna play tennis?" Getting no reply from the now dead bee Gir took that as a signal to eat the bee whole. "Taste like candy!"

Zim was just about to go upstairs to clean up when his computer decided to voice a problem its sensors had detected. "Uh zim I'd be careful if i was you though that snake bite won't kill you my sensors have picked up that your DNA has become a tad unstable..." now noticing that zim has already left "Ah forget it i hope you end up a speechless gelatinous blob maybe then I'll get some quiet around here." Despite the computers words deep down in its motherboard circuits it was saddened at being ignored once again.

The Next Day:

Zim could barely contain himself as he prepared for school the plan was to no use the device till class was in full swing that way everyone would be sitting down and he'd have a clear shot at Dib's ridiculously large head. "And to make things even easier..today is show and tell day oh this will be to easy." As Zim strapped his steel-toe boots on he felt a wooziness come over him for a split second things seemed to just slow down and get really hazy. Just as suddenly as it had happened it was over. "Strange Zim will have to have computer give Zim a scan later make sure he is all right, but now is not the time. Zim cannot miss out on such a golden opportunity as this!" With that Zim ran out the door without a second thought to why he had felt so woozy just a second earlier.

It was one of those moments. The kind that despite everything you could truly feel good on the inside, this is the moment Gaz was having she was just about to beat the super secret Werewolf Piggy boss on level 66 of her Game Slave 5 she was going to achieve greatness on a level only she could truly obtain. "Muhahahaahahahaha! Zim's greatness is limitless!" Gaz heard a familiar voice, and the sound of rapid footsteps approaching suddenly something crashed into her, and the GS 5 slipped out of her hands her entire existence seemed to go into the little electronic as it slowly fell to the ground, but there was no sound of it hitting the ground in its place was a familiar voice. "Ouch! Who dares throw this primitive technology at Zim's head, and who dares trip Zim when he is plotting?" "Of all times to show up in stupid mode it had to be now." Gaz thought to herself.

The little object that had landed on Zim's head was making strange noises as if a tiny battle was going on inside it with a hmm Zim held it in his hands and looked it over giving his opinion of it as he did. "Hmm is this what passes as combat simulator's on this planet?" Pressing a button on the side with his claw he noticed it made the character throw explosive axes at the large furry pig standing in front of him. "That was interesting perhaps Zim shall give this simulator a test run?" By now Gaz had gotten back to her feet and was fuming with anger that the green weirdo would dare touch her beloved Game Slave. "Zim if you don't want to suffer a wrath that you've never experienced in your entire life you will return that to me." Zim seemed to pay her no mind as he continued to press the button on the game every now and then letting out evil snickers of pleasure as he destroyed another foe. With lightning reflex's Gaz snatched the game back feeling a piece of her existence returned to her. In surprised outrage Zim began ranting at Gaz. "Hey Zim was not done with that he had only gotten to level 68 he must continue to test this combat simulator and gain more knowledge about you humans pitiful, but visually appealing fighting strategies." Gaz was actually surprised that Zim had gotten to level 68 so quickly it took her 10 minutes to beat just one level and he had beaten two in just under a minute. Thinking it over Gaz decided to use this to her advantage. "Ok Zim I'll let you play this later if you tell me how you were able to beat the super secret boss that quickly...and you give me five bucks." Zim without even thinking agreed despite not having any money on him at all. "Zim agrees to your bargain. All Zim did was press the X button 3 times and followed it up with a few taps of the P button to activate the flaming chainsaw and with that it was mere smeet play Dib sister." Gaz was once again surprised why hadn't she thought of that it was so simple, she would have to test Dib's arch enemy at another time. "Zim you'll be late to school if you don't get to running you know that right?" there was a long silence followed by zim freaking out and running off screaming something about snake's and show and tell. "Weirdo."

Zim was having another one of his meltdowns if he didn't hurry he was going to be late, and that meant certain doom by the hands of his scary teacher. "Must make it on time. MUST MAKE IT ON TIME!" It was going to be very close.

At the School:

Most of the students had taken their seats by now and were waiting for role call when Ms. Bitters appeared from out of the shadows. "Everyone pay attention for this painful few minutes of time. I am forced to inform you that once again we'll be having a new disgusting student today, and you all know what that means. All of the students faces were filled with fear at what was coming next. With a pure evil grin Ms. Bitters pointed at a child at the front of the second row "You whats your name your banished to the underclass of cannibal children." The vague boy barely had time to scream when hands punched through the floor and grabbed a hold of him dragging him to the underclass to never be heard from again. "Now then new filth make yourself known to the rest of the filth that you'll be spending the rest of your miserable school days with. A girl with long black hair tied into a ponytail walked in dressed as normal as you could get and with a unsure smile on her face. "Hello everybody my name is Levia, and I'm sure I'll enjoy the dreadful time we'll be forced to spend together." There was a long pause then the faint noise of fast footsteps. Suddenly as insane as life itself Zim sprung into the class the entire time screaming "Zim is not laaaaatteeeee!" Just then the bell rang signifying that indeed Zim was on time. "Yes Zim is on time and as usual right! Nothing can stop Zim not even..." Zim looked at the girl standing next to her looking quite freaked out. "Who is this new person that stares at Zim?"

Levia's mind was going a mile a second as she realized what she was staring at. "An Irken! Here of all places this can't be happening!" Zim feeling weirded out by the girl's stare just decided to walk toward his seat and just ignore the entire class like he usually did. Ms. Bitters took it upon herself though not without sending another student to the underclass to point Levia where she would sit for the rest of the year, horribly enough right next to Zim. "I have to sit next him oh all the people to have to sit next to it had to be a damn irken."

Later when show and tell was in full swing it was finally Zim's turn to bring his show and tell in front of class. "Well pitiful dirt monkeys today for this show and tell I've decided to bring my favorite...squirt gun to class yes squirt gun." Dib at once sensed something was wrong since Zim had a bad reaction to water and he took it upon himself to reveal Zim's fiendish plot whatever it may be. "THATS A LIE! WHAT IS IT REALLY ZIM? WHATS YOUR SCHEME THIS TIME?" Zim merely smiled. "Oh but it is a mere human squirt gun ugly Dib see." Zim pulled from his pak the new device he had created for this very day. " Its just a squirt gun...THAT SHOOTS POISONOUS SNAKES!!!" With that Zim pointed the device at Dib and fired. Out from the barrel a snake was shot in Dib's direction and would have hit if it hadn't instead decided to latch itself on the face of the child sitting in front of Dib. "OH MY GOD THIS HURTS OW! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET IT OFF!" Said boy rolled on the floor until Ms. Bitters tired of him and sent him to the Nurse with the snake still attached to his face. Oh all the people freaked out by Zim's attack on Dib Levia seemed the most tweaked by this. "I thought he was an irken? Is it possible that..no..is it?"

Zim was mortified his best chance to take out the Dib monster and he had missed the intended target. "Of all times to miss why did it have to be now of all times damn!" Zim gave a slight bow and walked back to his seat no one even caring that he had just fired a live poisonous snake at a classmate and that he was probably dead at the moment. No one cared, but two people Dib being the first cause well an attempt was just made on his life and no one seemed to care. And Levia who was deep in thought trying to figure out what Zim was in fact. "Ok I'll just have to make a gamble here if he is then he'll be unaffected if not my DNA will probably kill him...works either way." Levia started to scootch closer to Zim hopping to be unnoticed as she did. "Hey what are you doing scooting closer to the mighty Zim get away strange new human." Freaked out by Zim discovering her Levia opened her mouth revealing two long fangs and bit Zim on the arm, pumping a strange liquid into his bloodstream. "AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!!! THE NEW HUMAN GIRL HAS PENETRATED ZIM'S GLORIOUS SKIN WITH HER FANGS!! DISINFECT ZIM'S ARMS! HE ALREADY FEELS THE DEADLY HUMAN VENOM ENTERING HIS MIGHTY VEINS NOOOOOooooo!!!" With this Zim felt that woozy feeling again and blacked out. Everyone took a look at Zim laying on the ground and the new girl biting into his arm. "Oh no! Its one of the Cannibal students from the underclass!" With a large rush of students running in fear Dib had no time to investigate what had just transpired. Leaving Zim, and the new girl all alone in the classroom.

Chapter End:

To Answer a question that might have made itself known Dib is like 16 cause as far as i care he was 12 when Zim showed up so do the math Dudes. Though I'm pretty sure Zim is like 100 and something right.?

I hope to be writing another chapter soon.

And its done not to shabby for my first Invader Zim Fanfic hope you guys enjoyed the first Chapter.

Read and Review make sure to stay cool everybody

Peace