Disclaimer: Chadius ROCKS!!!!
I mean…
I don't own the characters, except Author. Otaku is a friend of mine. Please God, don't let SquareSoft sue me, 'cause I have no moneys. I'm just being silly. Enjoy!
*** Press Start *** (-Otaku)
(Author sits on chair. Author is forced to write fanfic by a crazed otaku, who is constantly commenting on the size of his demon weenis - I mean, the game…)
The camera descends through thundering clouds. Totally awesome music plays in the background. This is by far the best video game intro ever! At least on the SNES.
Otaku: Yeah, Chrono Trigger's rocked, but this was better.
Author starts the game. Since he has no saved games, it starts a new one.
Otaku: NOOOOO!!! Skip this! Oh god no! Why won't they let me skip this???
Author: Eh. Newbies gotta know…
Author rolls on the floor, laughing. Otaku soon joins him.
Author: Newbies, reading fanfic… Bwahahahahah!!!
Otaku: Teeheehee!
Author: Teeheehee? You don't talk like that!
Otaku: OK. Mwahahahahahaha! Better?
Author: Yes, much more evil.
The camera shows a bridge, and some snow on the mountain side.
Narrator: Long ago, the War of the Magi reduced the world to a scorched wasteland, and magic simply ceased to exist.
Otaku: Oh god! Skip it!!
Author: Well, the newbies gotta see this! *snicker*
Narrator: 1000 years have passed…Iron, gunpowder, and steam engines have been rediscovered, and technology reigns…
Otaku: Everyone who's reading this fanfic already played this AND they are all dreaming of skipping this part with the press of a button! It was a mistake on Square's part. The only redeemable things to non-skippable intros are naked chicks. And this has no naked chicks.
Author: ….
Otaku: Ah, sick! Put the demon weenis away!
Author: Oh, sorry. Hey wait, I'm running this on an emulator.
Author hits fast forward button.
Narrator: Buttherearesomewhowouldenslavetheworldbyrevivingthedreaddestructiveforceknow nas "magic." Cntbthtthsnpwrrnthvrgfrptngsnslssndddlymstk?
Otaku rolls on the floor, laughing.
Otaku: OK, let's get to Vicks and Wedge. And I'll never show up again… Unless you talk again. You weren't supposed to write that! Bish!
Otaku cracks whip.
Author:….
Otaku beats Author senseless with butt of whip.
Otaku: Put the demon weenis away!
Author: …Sorry mistress.
Otaku: Get on with the fanfic, Bish!
Author: Yes ma'am…
I mean…
I don't own the characters, except Author. Otaku is a friend of mine. Please God, don't let SquareSoft sue me, 'cause I have no moneys. I'm just being silly. Enjoy!
*** Press Start *** (-Otaku)
(Author sits on chair. Author is forced to write fanfic by a crazed otaku, who is constantly commenting on the size of his demon weenis - I mean, the game…)
The camera descends through thundering clouds. Totally awesome music plays in the background. This is by far the best video game intro ever! At least on the SNES.
Otaku: Yeah, Chrono Trigger's rocked, but this was better.
Author starts the game. Since he has no saved games, it starts a new one.
Otaku: NOOOOO!!! Skip this! Oh god no! Why won't they let me skip this???
Author: Eh. Newbies gotta know…
Author rolls on the floor, laughing. Otaku soon joins him.
Author: Newbies, reading fanfic… Bwahahahahah!!!
Otaku: Teeheehee!
Author: Teeheehee? You don't talk like that!
Otaku: OK. Mwahahahahahaha! Better?
Author: Yes, much more evil.
The camera shows a bridge, and some snow on the mountain side.
Narrator: Long ago, the War of the Magi reduced the world to a scorched wasteland, and magic simply ceased to exist.
Otaku: Oh god! Skip it!!
Author: Well, the newbies gotta see this! *snicker*
Narrator: 1000 years have passed…Iron, gunpowder, and steam engines have been rediscovered, and technology reigns…
Otaku: Everyone who's reading this fanfic already played this AND they are all dreaming of skipping this part with the press of a button! It was a mistake on Square's part. The only redeemable things to non-skippable intros are naked chicks. And this has no naked chicks.
Author: ….
Otaku: Ah, sick! Put the demon weenis away!
Author: Oh, sorry. Hey wait, I'm running this on an emulator.
Author hits fast forward button.
Narrator: Buttherearesomewhowouldenslavetheworldbyrevivingthedreaddestructiveforceknow nas "magic." Cntbthtthsnpwrrnthvrgfrptngsnslssndddlymstk?
Otaku rolls on the floor, laughing.
Otaku: OK, let's get to Vicks and Wedge. And I'll never show up again… Unless you talk again. You weren't supposed to write that! Bish!
Otaku cracks whip.
Author:….
Otaku beats Author senseless with butt of whip.
Otaku: Put the demon weenis away!
Author: …Sorry mistress.
Otaku: Get on with the fanfic, Bish!
Author: Yes ma'am…