Harley and Ivy were watching TV when they heard a noise outside.
"Go see what that was Harl" Ivy said.
"Okey dokey Poison Oakie" Harley said as she jumped up.
She walked to the window and looked out. There was a large ball of electricity outside.
"Um Red" Harley said "there's an electricy, spinny lightning ball in our yard."
Ivy got off the couch and walked over to the window. The electric ball grew and disappeared, revealing two women. One was in a black jumpsuit with red hair. The other was in a black, white, blue and pink jumpsuit with a mask. Harley grabbed a baseball bat and started to walk outside.
"Harley?" Ivy said.
"Don't worry" Harley said "I'm not gonna attack anybody. I grabbed it just in case."
"Ok" Ivy said as she walked out with her.
"Hey" Harley said "are ya ok? Do ya need a doctah?"
"Widow?" the girl with the mask asked.
Black Widow pulled out an electrified baton and said "get ready Gwen. I'll take the blond."
She charged Harley and swung the baton. Harley gasped and ducked.
"So much for bein' nice" she said as she swung the bat.
Gwen charged Ivy and shot a web at her. A root shot out of the ground and blocked the web.
"This ought to be interesting" Gwen said.
Webs and vines began shooting everywhere. Harley stepped forward and hit the baton out of Widow's hand with the bat. Widow grabbed Harley's bat and punched her in the face. She elbowed Harley in the stomach, punched her in the face and kneed her in the stomach. She quickly spun Harley around and wrapped her arm around Harley's neck.
"Had enough?" Widow asked.
"Not even close" Harley choked out.
She leaned her head forward, then threw it back. Causing the back of her skull to collide with Widow's forehead. Widow let go and stumbled back.
Harley spun around to face her and said "the fun's just gettin' started!"
Widow drew a Glock as Harley drew her .357. Ivy and Gwen stopped to watch the display, both Harley and Widow were spinning and dodging. Pushing each other's guns away while trying to get a shot with their own. A vine shot over and pulled the Glock out of Widow's hand as a web pulled the revolver out of Harley's hand. Widow quickly punched Harley in the face and attempted to kick her legs out from under her. Harley did a back hand spring, avoiding the kick. Harley ran forward, bent down and grabbed Widow around her waist. She lifted her up and kept running. She ran into a wall, smashing Widow's body against it. Harley let her go. Widow managed to land on her feet. Harley grabbed her shoulders and head butted her. She shoved Widow's head down as she brought her knee up, smashing Widow's forehead into her knee. She grabbed Widow by the throat and threw her down on her back. Harley pulled the KABAR out of her boot, knelt down and put the knife against Widow's throat.
"Had enough?" Harley asked.
Widow used her bracelets to hit Harley's leg with a powerful electric shock then shoved her back.
"Not yet" Widow said.
Harley and Widow both stood up. Widow pulled out an extendable baton and Harley picked up her knife.
"Let's finish this" Widow said.
"Ya read my mind" Harley said.
They began to run towards each other. Suddenly several large vines shot in between them, stopping them.
"Enough!" Ivy yelled.
"This is pointless" Gwen said "put the weapons down and let's just talk."
Harley looked at Widow and slid the knife back into her boot. Widow sighed and put the baton away. Harley put her hands on the vine in front of her. Jumped into a handstand on top of it and pushed off, doing a front flip and landing in front of Widow.
She stuck her hand out and said "Harley Quinn, pleased to meet'cha."
Widow shook her hand and said "Natasha Romanova. Most people call me Black Widow. You have a very interesting fighting style. Combining speed and agility with brute force."
"You got a good style too" Harley said "very agile with multiple quick strikes" she looked at Ivy "can we have our guns back?"
Ivy and Gwen walked over and handed them their guns back.
"Glock?" Harley asked looking at Widow's pistol.
"Yes" she said "Glock 26 Gen4. Shoots 9x19mm, loaded with high velocity rounds, twelve in the clip one in the chamber. How about you, what kind of revolver is that?"
Harley smiled and said "Smith & Wesson .357 magnum, double action. Loaded with jacketed hollow points."
"Would you mind?" Widow asked holding her hand out.
"Sure" Harley said "can I see yours?"
They traded pistols. Harley pulled the slide back and let it slide forward. She caught the bullet it ejected.
"Wow" Harley said "smooth action, good weight. Good feelin' gun."
She dropped the magazine, put the bullet back in and put it back in the pistol.
Widow looked the revolver over and said "well balanced, custom grip, very nice."
They traded back.
"I think they will get along" Gwen said.
"Sure looks that way" Ivy said "Poison Ivy. Most just call me Ivy."
"Gwen Stacy" Gwen said "most people call me Spider Gwen."
"How about lunch?" Harley asked "we can get to know each othah and find out what's going on."
"I could go for some food" Widow said.
"Can I trust you two enough to take my mask off?" Gwen asked.
"I don't see why not" Ivy said.
Gwen put her hood down and pulled her mask off.
"Do you have some clothes I can borrow to go eat?" She asked.
"Sure" Harley said "come with me."
She led her inside to her room and then to her closet.
"Let's see" she said. She pulled out a black skirt, a red tee shirt and a pair of red converse shoes.
"Is this ok?" She asked.
"Yes" Gwen said "thank you."
"No problem" Harley said "bathroom's right there. I'll meet'cha outside."
"Ok" Gwen said.
She stepped into the bathroom and changed, then hung her costume up and waked back outside.
"Ready" she said.
"Let's go to the diner" Harley said "you'll love it."
"Ok, if you guys want to take the car, I'll take the motorcycle" Widow sad eyeing Harley's bike.
"No ya won't" Harley said "nobody rides that bike but me. Ya can ride on it with me if ya want."
"Let's all just all go in the car, ok?" Gwen asked.
"Fine" Widow said.
"Cheer up BW" Harley said "eatin' will make ya feel bettah."
"BW?" Widow asked.
"She gives nicknames to everybody" Ivy said as she started driving.
"Ya don't like it?" Harley asked.
"I guess it's fine" Widow said.
"What about me?" Gwen asked.
"I'll haveta think about one for ya" Harley said.
Ivy pulled up to the diner and they got out.
Harley skipped up to the door, opened it and gestured for the others to walk in. They walked in and went over to a large booth.
Their regular waitress walked over and said "Harley, Ivy, it's good to see you. Who are your friends?"
"Natasha and Gwen" Ivy said.
"Nice to meet you" the waitress said "would you like a menu?"
"The usual for me and Red" Harley said.
"I'll have what Ivy is having" Gwen said.
"Bring me what Harley's eating" Widow said.
"Ok" the waitress said "I'll have it right out."
"So how did you two end up here?" Ivy asked.
"I got Nat to help me fight a villain named Doctor Octopus" Gwen said "he has four mechanical arms mounted on his back that he controls with his mind. He managed to hit us with a device that sent us to a different dimension and we landed at your house."
"Well" Harley said "first we need to find a way to get us back to your dimension."
"Us?" Widow asked.
"Sure, I'll help ya out. Ya seem like a good kid" Harley said smiling "I nevah back down from a good fight and I have experience with crazy guys with weird gizmos. Besides, I've got a hundred pound mallet that makes an awesome sound when it hits somebody's skull."
"I'll go too" Ivy said "my control of plants will help tremendously. Also as a botanist and scientist, I would love to study the plants in your dimension."
"Did you say you have a one hundred pound mallet?" Widow asked.
"Yeah" Harley said "I have a hundred and fifty pound mallet it the hundred pound ain't big enough."
"You can lift things that heavy, and swing them?" Gwen asked.
"I picked BW up and slammed her into a wall" Harley said "sorry 'bout that by the way."
"Don't worry about it" Widow said.
"Food's here" the waitress said "salad for Ivy and Gwen and double cheese burgers and fries for Harley and Natasha."
"Thanks" Harley said.
She grabbed the burger and dug in.
"Can I ask you something, Harley?" Gwen asked.
"Sure" Harley said with her mouth full.
"Why did you say you never back down from a fight?" Gwen asked.
Harley finished chewing and said "I'm messed up in the head. I don't deny it. A very abusive ex is responsible. I have a temper, rage and several other issues. Beatn' the hell outta someone is usually good therapy."
"An abusive ex did all that?" Gwen asked.
Harley nodded.
"Are you upset about our fight?" Widow asked.
"No" Harley said "I gotta admit that was a good fight. I've nevah seen anybody with such a similar fightin' style to mine."
"I want to see you lift that hundred and fifty pound hammer later" Widow said. She handed Harley a dollar and said "go find a good song on the jukebox."
Harley smiled and skipped to the jukebox.
"Do we need to worry about her?" Widow asked looking at Ivy.
"No" Ivy said "she's solid and believe me, she's worth five in a fight. You can trust her."
Harley came back and sat down and said "it should play in a minute or two."
After they finished eating and Harley's song played, the paid and left.
They started walking back to the car.
"So what now?" Gwen asked.
"We go home" Ivy said "we can talk more there."
"Ok" Gwen said.
They drove back to Ivy's house and went inside.
"Nice place" Widow said.
"Wait here" Harley said as she skipped to her room. She came back carrying a huge hammer.
"Here ya go" Harley said "ya wanted to see my hundred pound mallet."
She held it out towards the Widow.
"That can't really be a hundred pounds" Widow said as Harley put it in her hand.
As soon as Harley let go, it fell to the ground taking Widow with it. Harley quickly grabbed the hammer and picked it up with her right hand and pulled Widow up with her left.
"Are ya ok?" Harley asked.
"Yeah" Widow said "how often do you work out?"
"Everyday" Harley said "I start every day with a workout, then gymnastics practice. I also have increased strength and agility."
"I contacted someone who can help us get to your dimension" Ivy said "they'll be here tomorrow."
"Is there a place around here I can get ammo?" Widow asked "I've only got one clip full of ammo with me."
"9mm?" Harley asked.
"Yes" Widow said.
Harley smiled and asked "hollow point, home defense, high velocity or standard?"
"What?" Widow asked.
"What kind do ya want?" Harley asked.
"You have that much ammo on hand?" Widow asked.
"She's got half a gun store on hand" Ivy said.
"Wanna take a look BW?" Harley asked.
"Sure" Widow said.
Harley started walking with her room with Widow following.
"That should keep them busy for a while" Ivy said.
"At the restaurant you said you were a scientist right?" Gwen asked.
"Yes" Ivy said.
"I'll be right back" Gwen said.
She ran to the bathroom and came back with one of the web shooters from her costume.
She held it out towards Ivy and said "this is what I use to shoot the web fluid I used against your plants. I haven't been able to find a suitable glue that is sticky enough to do what I need but will also degenerate after a while. Do you think you can help?"
"My lab is in my greenhouse" Ivy said "follow me."
She led her towards the greenhouse. Later that night, they were trying to decide where everyone would sleep.
"Do you two mind sharing a room?" Ivy asked Widow and Gwen.
"I guess not" Widow said.
"That's fine" Gwen said.
"Ok" Ivy said "take Harley's room. Harl and I will share my room. The plants in my room could hurt you two. Do you need pajamas?"
"Yes please" Gwen said.
Widow nodded.
"Harley, can you loan them some?" Ivy asked.
"Sure" Harley said "follow me."
She led them into her room and opened a drawer. She took out an oversized red tee shirt with a kitten on the front.
"That's my pajama drawer" Harley said "help yourself."
She waved and skipped out of the room. Widow and Gwen changed and got into the bed. A few minutes later, Harley walked into the room where Gwen and Widow were trying to get to sleep.
"Sorry to bother ya" Harley said "but I kinda forgot to grab Mistah Snugglepuff."
"Forgot to grab what?" Gwen asked.
"Mistah Snugglepuff" Harley said "he's a fuzzy, fluffy white teddy bear. I have a hard time sleepin' without 'im sometimes. He was on the bed."
"Oh" Widow said "I put it in that chair."
She pointed to a chair in the corner. Harley skipped over to the chair and picked up her bear.
She hugged it tight and said "Mistah Snugglepuff! There ya are. I missed ya. C'mon, it's bedtime."
She waved to Widow and Gwen and skipped back out of the room with the bear.
"Well" Widow said "like she said, it's bed time. Try to get some sleep."
The next morning, Widow and Gwen got up, showered and put their costumes on then walked into the kitchen.
"Mornin' girls" Harley said as she and Ivy walked into the room. "Oh, are we going in costume?" Harley asked.
"Yes" Widow said "why wouldn't we?"
"Ok" Harley said as she skipped to her room.
"Where is she going?" Gwen asked.
"To get into costume" Ivy said "Harl and I were supervillains until we went straight, but we do still have our costumes."
A few minutes later, Harley walked back into the room and asked "what do you think?"
Widow and Gwen just looked at her. Harley was wearing a black and red corset like top, tight leather pants that were black on the right and red on the left with a red knee high boot on her right leg and a black one on her right leg. She had a black mesh sleeve that came up to her elbow and a red fingerless glove on her right arm and a red sleeve and black glove on her left. Her face was painted white with bright red lipstick and black circles around her eyes.
"It's…nice" Gwen said "revealing, but nice."
"There are way more revealing costumes than this" Harley said "ever seen Wondah Woman?"
"No" Gwen said.
There was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it" Harley said as she walked to the door.
"Are you going to wear your costume Ivy?" Gwen asked.
"Sure" Ivy said "why not?"
Harley opened the door and said "Heya Z, come on in."
A woman with black hair walked in wearing a top hat, white dress shirt and a black coat with fishnets.
Harley walked in with her and said "this is Zatanna, Zatanna this is Black Widow and Spider Gwen."
"Pleasure to meet you" Zatanna said.
"Why are you here?" Widow asked.
"I called her" Ivy said "she can help us."
"How?" Widow asked.
"Want to show them?" Ivy asked "I was thinking about wearing my costume."
Zatanna nodded and said "EMUTSOC YVI NOSIOP!"
Ivy's clothes immediately became a green leotard with knee high green boots and green gloves.
"She can send us to our dimension?" Gwen asked.
"Yes" Zatanna said "and I will be able to bring Harley and Ivy back."
"Can ya give us a minute to gear up, Z?" Harley asked.
"Of course" Zatanna replied.
A few minutes later, they were all outside and ready to go.
"Contact me when you are ready to return" Zatanna said.
"Thanks" Ivy said "make yourself at home until then."
Zatanna nodded and said "YVI DNA YELRAH HTIW NOISNEMID EMOH OT NRUTER NEWG DNA WODIW!"
The four of them disappeared and reappeared in New York City.
"Where are we?" Harley asked "kinda reminds me of home."
"We're in New York City" Gwen said.
"Weird" Harley said "I was born and raised in Brooklyn and I barely recognize anything."
"We're in a different dimension Harl" Ivy said.
"Oh yeah" Harley said.
"Follow me" Gwen said "I'll take you to his hideout."
Gwen began moving, staying in the shadows and alleys. Eventually they came to a large abandoned looking warehouse.
Harley put the hammer on her shoulder and said "just say when."
"And then what?" Widow asked.
"I forgot to explain my plan, didn't I?" Harley asked.
"Yes" Gwen said.
"Sorry" Harley said "I'll smash the door open with the hammer to scare him and distract him. Then, Red and Gwen use their vines and webs to immobilize the robot parts. Then BW and me move in. Ya distract him and I'll smash the robot arm things apart with my hammer."
"That's actually a pretty solid plan" Widow said.
"One problem" Gwen said.
"What's that?" Harley asked.
"The security cameras" Gwen said pointing up.
"Well" Widow said "we do this the old fashion way. Harley."
Harley smashed the door open and ran inside. Widow quickly followed with Ivy and Gwen close behind. Doc Ock raised himself up on his mechanical limbs.
He raised a strange looking gun and said "you heroes have been a thorn in my side for far too long. I have created the most potent toxin in the world. No one can survive even the slightest dose. You will have the honor of being the first to test it."
Ivy stepped in front of Gwen as Harley pushed the Widow behind her and said "stay behind me BW."
She moved towards Ivy, making sure the Widow was behind her.
Doc Ock raised the gun and asked "are you prepared to meet your end?"
"Oh no Red" Harley said sarcastically "big bad octopus guy is gonna shoot us with poison darts."
"I'm terrified" Ivy said sarcastically.
"We bettah run" Harley said.
"You are about to die" Doc Ock said "why are you joking?"
"I'm immune to all toxins and poisons" Ivy said "and thanks to an injection I created, Harley is too."
"Yeah" Harley said "I could chug a glass of rattle snake venom if I wanted. Go ahead and shoot me" she pulled out her .357 "gimme an excuse."
"You're lying" Doc Ock said "no one can be immune to all toxins."
"Maybe we're lyin'" Harley said as she pulled the hammer back on her revolver "care to try your luck and find out?"
Doc Ock raised the gun.
"Watch out behind ya" Harley said as she put the revolver away.
He aimed the gun and said "nice try."
"Hey!" A voice behind him called.
He turned in time for a devastating kick from the Widow to hit him in the chest, sending him flying towards Harley. She swung the hammer like a bat, colliding with the right side of the robotic pack on his back. The hit smashed the right side and disabled the robotic arms on the right side. Vines shot up and wrapped around the two broken robotic arms and tore them off. Doc Ock turned to Harley and swung one of the remaining robot arms at her legs. She jumped over it. The other immediately grabbed her stomach and slammed her down on her back. She began trying to pull the claw open and push it off. He raised the other arm over her head. Suddenly, he was hit in the face with a string of web, blinding him. A large root shot out of the ground and blocked the arm from hitting Harley's head. Two more came out near her sides and helped her force the claw open and push it away from her body.
Harley scrambled away and said "thanks Red."
Doc Ock was focusing on Gwen and Widow. He landed a hard blow in the Widow's stomach, sending her into a wall. Harley drew her revolver and took careful aim.
"Don't kill him!" Gwen yelled.
"What?! Why not?!" Harley asked.
"That's not how we do things here" Gwen replied, still dodging.
Harley sighed and aimed at the pack on his back from the side and fired. The bullet ripped a huge hole through the pack and the bottom arm fell limp. Widow got up and charged him and drop kicked him. He stumbled forward into a kick from Gwen. Harley picked up her hammer, spun around several times and released the hammer. Sending it flying towards Doc Ock. It hit him in the side and sent him flying into the wall. He fell to the ground on his back. Roots came out of the ground, holding him down. Several webs immobilized the final robot arm. All four of them walked over to him.
"Where is your dimensional transporter?" Widow asked.
He just spit at her. Harley stepped on him and kneeled on his chest.
She drew her revolver and put the barrel under his chin and said "that wasn't nice, she asked ya a question."
"I'll never tell" he said "I know you won't kill me."
Harley pulled the hammer back and asked "wanna bet?"
"I would tell her" Ivy said "trust me, she won't hesitate to pull the trigger."
He just glared at her
"Ok" Harley said "bye bye."
"STOP!" he said "it's in that crate."
"Ya sure?" Harley asked "I hate bein' lied to."
"Yes" He said.
"I'll check it out" Gwen said.
She walked over to the crate and opened it. She reached inside and pulled the device out.
Harley stood up, uncocked the revolver and put it back in the holster and said "good boy."
"I guess we're done here" Ivy said.
"Thank you, both of you." Gwen said.
"No problem" Harley said.
"Happy to help" Ivy said.
"If you ever need any help, have your magician friend bring me to you" Widow said.
"Same goes for me" Gwen said.
"We might take ya up on that" Harley said.
"Do you want to go get a drink before you leave?" Gwen asked.
"I don't see any harm in that" Ivy said.
Widow and Gwen led them to a bar. Harley held the door open for the other three to walk in. When she walked in, there were several people at a large table.
"Dude! You guys got me a stripper?!" one of them said "even had her dress like a clown for my birthday!"
"Excuse me?" Harley said.
He got up, walked over to her and said "come on" he smacked her butt "show me something."
Harley grabbed her revolver. Before she could pull it out of the holster, she saw Widow's arm shoot by her and stick her Glock in his face.
"Get lost" Widow said "she is a hero, not a stripper. She just helped save this city from Doc Ock."
"Yeah right" he said "no hero dresses like that."
Harley drew her revolver and stuck it in the man's face next to Widow's Glock and said "ya got five seconds to sit down and shut up Mistah, or ya get bullet holes for eyes."
Two of his friends jumped up and dragged him back to the table. Harley and Widow put their guns away.
"Thanks BW" Harley said.
"No problem" Widow said.
She and Harley sat down with Ivy and Gwen.
"I've got to admit" Ivy said "I like the way you two handled that."
"It was kind of funny that Widow stuck her gun is his face at the same time you were reaching for your gun" Gwen said.
"Great minds think alike" Harley said smiling.
After an hour, they paid their tab and started to leave.
"Hey" the man from before said "seriously, how much would it cost for mmph"
He was cut off when Gwen webbed his mouth shut. Harley just giggled as they walked outside. They walked back to the warehouse so Harley could grab her hammer.
"Well, it was nice workin' with ya" Harley said.
"Same here" Widow said.
"It's definitely been interesting" Gwen said.
"Sure has" Ivy said.
Harley and Ivy stepped back.
Ivy took out a small communicator and said "Ok Zatanna, bring us home."
Harley waved as they disappeared.
"Quite an experience" Widow said.
"You said it" Gwen said "although they were a big help, and it was interesting watching Harley kick your butt BW."
She shot a web at a building and swung away.
"Very funny!" Widow yelled.
Back at Harley and Ivy's house, Zatanna was just leaving.
"Well, that was fun" Harley said.
"If you say so" Ivy said "I think I'm gonna take a nap. It's been quite a day."
"That ain't a bad idea" Harley said as she yawned.
Ivy went to her room, changed into an oversized tee shirt and climbed in bed.
She was almost asleep, when a familiar voice said "Red, I forgot-"
Ivy grabbed the teddy bear and threw it at the door without opening her eyes.
"Thanks" Harley said as she walked out.