Brothers in Arms: a fanfiction lament:
Rain fell from grey skies above the town of Storybrooke.
But if it seemed to fall a little bit harder over the small cemetery where a lone man dressed all in black with a hook in place of his left hand stood next to an elaborate gravestone carved with arrows, who could doubt the reason?
Killian Jones was not a man who made friends easily. Having spent centuries as the feared and brutal Captain Hook, he was far more used to people fearing and obeying him then anyone seeking out his company simply for the pleasure of it. Even here in Storybrooke, aside from a very small few, his presence seemed more tolerated for the sake of Emma Swan, rather than openly celebrated. Endured, but not endearing.
One of those rare exceptions now lay entombed in this elaborate grave, the love the town bore for the resident evident by the tokens of esteem left there. Mostly arrows, some with inscribed ribbons wrapped around them with personal messages for the deceased, but some flowers and other tokens. Heartbreakingly, a small carved figure of a fox, obviously made by a child, sat amongst them. Having been left there by Roland, the now orphaned son of Robin of Locksley, aka Robin Hood, who now lay in the ground below.
Hook felt tears burn in his eyes, and out of habit took a quick glance around to make sure there was nobody around to see them fall. He could always blame them on the rain, he told himself as the first tears made slow, hot tracks down his rough, stubbled cheek. Seeing little Roland had been so very hard, even harder than witnessing Regina's heartbreak, so much like he had witnessed of Emma's on that terrible day that he had died himself, Excalibur slicing through his flesh, muscle and organs to end his life and send him to the Underworld to face his fate. Hook had been a fatherless boy himself, not much older than Roland was now, and his heart ached for the boy.
What does one say to a child who has lost their father? At least his father had died a brave and valiant death, saving the life of the woman he loved. His father had no choice about leaving him, and he hadn't been the one, years later, who had then ended his father...but no, now was not the time for such a memory. It served no purpose, other than to remind Hook that he would have no idea of how to be a father, and had never allowed himself hope to ever make the attempt. What kind of father would he be? Nothing like Robin, with his easy smile and big heart, showing love and friendship equally with such open passion for life. Robin, who welcomed all to his table for a pint and a story or song, spoke openly and laughed often, and never had looked on the dreaded Captain Hook with anything other than open interest and maybe even a bit of respect.
"I'm sorry."
The words that had been welling up in the pirate's heart left his lips without seeming to ask permission of his pride. They came out choked with emotion, harsh and blunt like a worn boarding axe. He closed his eyes against the tears and rain, trying to find the words he was struggling to say from amidst the storm of emotions inside of him.
"What are you sorry for mate?"
The reply came in that smooth cultured voice, the accent that wrapped warmly around the syllables, a hint of amusement in the question, but asked honestly.
He was hearing the dead man's voice now, Hook realized. It wouldn't be the first time, and his dreams and memories of the countless dead who had crossed his path as ally or enemy seemed even more clear since his return from the Underworld. Some men would have questioned their sanity at that, but Killian Jones had given up questioning his long ago. Madness was a certainty and something to be held at bay, no longer a question. He had lived too long, seen too much.
He shrugged without looking up, pretty certain he would actually see the spirit of the man he was mourning. His pride didn't want even a spirit to see him shed tears.
"Your death. Hades being here in Storybrooke." Hook let out a sharp breath, trying to force the fires of anger from his heart that sprung up at the thought of the now destroyed god of the underworld."R-Roland losing his father. Everything."
"Well then. I am sorry about all of that as well. " Robin admitted, moving up to stand beside the captain. Sure enough, the forest outlaw stood beside him, the wind rustling his sandy colored hair, wearing his comfortable clothing of forest greens and browns. Unlike Hook, Robin had seemed to take to life in Storybrooke with its strange clothing and even stranger machinery with his customary ease, a shrug and a laugh, a drink over a campfire in the woods while his son learned the modern joys of the hand-held games from Henry.
"Mostly for my children, it's a wrench not being there for them." Robin admitted solemnly. " I know they will be taken care of, I have no fear of that, but I will miss being able to speak to them. To guide them as they grow. I truly looked forward to raising them both with Regina by my side."
"She is taking it quite hard, you know. "Killian bit his bottom lip, not sure how much he should say. What should he say? Reassure his friend the woman that he sacrificed himself for mourned and loved him? Did he even question that, or his own worth? Or unlike himself, did Robin just accept that he was loved and belonged?"I mean, she doesn't like to show it, and refuses any sympathy, lashes out in anger at anyone who attempts to comfort her.."
Robin gave a small, sad laugh. The corners of his eyes crinkled with melancholy amusement as he smiled. "In other words, she is being Regina."
"Aye."
"Stubborn woman. I'm only glad she didn't get herself killed in some useless gesture to avenge me against Hades. The look on her face in those final moments..."
Killian snorted. "Bloody bastard got off easy, having Zelena run him through with that damned crystal. Regina should have been the one to be able to do it, to ease the pain of your loss."
"You two are quite alike, have I told you that?" Robin asked with a laugh. His expression turned earnest. "That's why I need you to tell her for me that it will all be all right in time and she mustn't give in to her anger. She will listen to you where she may not others who she believes do not understand her darkness."
"Not to sound ungrateful, mate but how is it that you can speak to me?" Hook asked, gathering his courage to glance over at his friend's spector beside him.
"You mean, other than the probability that you are just barking mad?" Robin laughed. "When did that become a question for you, Jones?"
Hook smiled crookedly. " I mean, Hades said that crystal utterly destroyed the person it was used against. No underworld, no afterlife, just oblivion. How are you here? Or am I just completely barking?"
"Or Hades is just a bloody liar as well as being a bastard. "The outlaw shrugged, looking pensive. "I wish I knew. I don't feel utterly annihilated. How would one know?"
"Well then, where are you?" Killian persisted, turning to face his friend. Yes. His friend, he admitted to himself. Because that was what the outlaw had become to him. For the brief time they had known each other in life.
"There's a forest here, but no other people. Game is plentiful, with spry deer for hunting. They are quite clever creatures."Robin looked around, as if describing something Killian couldn't see. "For which I am glad, if they were slow and stupid and easily hunted, it would be frightfully boring. They have led me a merry chase."
"Does it look like Sherwood? Back in the Enchanted Forest perhaps?" Hook asked, a feeling stirring in his heart. The embers of hope.
"It isn't Sherwood, that I do know. Sherwood...well, it feels different, if that makes sense." Robin sighed deeply, as if in longing."This forest, it feels more...well, primeval would be the best word to describe it. I haven't met anyone else, however..."
"What?"
"Well, I have the distinct feeling that I am being watched." Robin nodded to himself. "Yes watched. Not by fauna, this is an intelligence that is watching me. Studying me. I can't describe it any better than that."
"Do you feel as though you have something you must do?" Killian persisted. "As if there is some unfinished business you need to attend to, anything of the sort?"
Robin shrugged, putting his hands on his hips, subconsciously reaching up to adjust the quiver strap that crossed his broad chest.
"That...that is difficult to say. I was hunting a particularly agile buck, and came across this pool in the forest. I found that if I sit beside it, and gaze into it, sometimes I can see my loved ones back there in Storybrooke." Robin gestured at something near their feet, as if they stood beside that very pool. Killian looked down but only saw the green grass and tokens decorating the grave site. " I have tried to reach out to others, Emma once, Regina a couple of times, even Henry, thinking that as the Author perhaps he would have the ability to speak to me. But nothing worked. Then I saw you here."
"Well, I suppose it may be because you are not the first spirit I have had words with." Hook admitted, looking uncomfortable at sharing this information, even with a dead man."Or perhaps because I have so recently been beyond that veil myself and still carry a bit of the underworld within me."
"Or..." Robin interrupted, his voice turning to a playful whisper "Or perhaps you are simply gifted with the ability to speak to the dead. The Psychic Pirate. It has a nice ring to it. We might be onto something here."
"Funny, mate." Killian gave a small laugh, then winced at a sudden sharp pain at the realization of how much he missed having the outlaw around to laugh with and to jest at each other's expense. Something that he hadn't truly done with anyone since Liam's death." Truly, mate, I am so so sorry. All of this..if Emma hadn't gone to save me from the underworld..."
"Ah yes, another way that you and Regina are alike." Robin snorted. "You both act as if everything in the realms revolves around you and therefore you somehow are responsible for everything that happens. Truly, the size of both of your egos is a sight to behold."
"But..."
"No Killian. In truth, it's time for you to accept your life here." Robin turned solemn, his jaw set as he faced the pirate. "Every one of us that accompanied Emma to the underworld to find you, to try to bring you back, did so because we wanted to. We wanted to for Emma, and we wanted to for you. You sacrificed yourself for us all, and what happened in Camelot was nobody's fault. I would have done the same as Emma if that was the only way to save the man I loved."
"You love me?" Hook raised an eyebrow, trying to lighten the suddenly intense mood.
"Fat chance. You wish." Robin snorted again. "Gods you are such a git. What Emma Swan sees in you, I will never know. "
"Love is blind, they say."Killian agreed with a shrug.
"Of course, you're being such a git could explain why you and Emma haven't consummated your love yet." Robin added with a gleeful smirk.
"What?" Killian coughed, looking at the outlaw with a look of outrage. "Who says so?"
"The magical death pool of all seeing never lies." Robin said smugly, pointing towards the ground. "Besides, you still act like a man desperately in need of the attentions of the woman he loves. People act differently around each other when they have passed that junction in their relationship, and the two of you are still so high strung around everyone. What's the vernacular here? You need to 'hit that".
"This is what my life has come to, getting advice about women from a dead thief whose lover was the Evil Queen, a mad sorceress." Hook rolled his eyes. "Fate hates me."
"At least this dead thief got laid while he was amongst the living. And don't knock the whole mad sorceress thing." Robin waggled his eyebrows.
"So you are telling me that you, how did you say it? Hit that?"
"Like the bullseye on the target at Nottingham's archery competition." Robin smirked. "Split the arrow a few times too, if you want to know."
"No I believe I could have gone another three centuries without knowing that." Hook deadpanned, rolling his eyes a second time. "And please no pictures this time."
"It was a sonogram, git."
"It was Zelena, mate."
"Yes, I must say that she surprised me in the end." Robin nodded, turning thoughtful. "I did not expect that, and it gives me hope for her as a mother to my daughter."
"They did name her, you know." Hook hesitated a moment. "They decided to name her Robin."
Expecting to see Robin turn melancholy, Hook saw his friend give him a look of befuddlement. "Robin? But...that's my name."
"Yes, well. Zelena suggested it, and Regina thought it fitting so..."
"Robin is a man's name." The outlaw insisted.
"In this realm it is considered applicable to either gender." Hook corrected. "And well, it does have more of a feminine sound to it after all."
"Git."
"A robin is a lovely little bird, isn't it?"
"I had decided to name her Eowyn" Robin said thoughtfully, as if he hadn't heard the jest. "After my mother."
Any further mockery died on Killian's lips and he smiled sadly at the outlaw. "Eowyn is a lovely name."
"You will look after her for me, won't you Killian?"
"To my last breath, mate." Hook promised, reaching up to place his hand on the outlaw's shoulder. His hand met nothing but air, but Robin nodded as if he understood.
"You are a good man, Killian Jones. Never doubt that." Robin returned the gesture, placing his hand where the pirate's shoulder would be. Killian thought he almost felt a tingle, almost felt the firm grip of the outlaws hand, roughened from years of hard labor and battle. "If the gods are kind, perhaps we will meet again someday."
Killian felt a lump form in his throat, and nodded. He fought to hold back fresh tears, and felt a familiar sense of resolve spread through him. "Zeus, he brought me back. I came back, and if the gods are kind, and if Hades lied..perhaps there is a way.."
"Perhaps. But Killian, if there is not, take care of my family for me."Robin squeezed his shoulder."It will ease my mind knowing that you will be there to protect them from whatever comes next."
"I swear it." Killian's voice cracked. " And I swear I will never give up hope, never stop trying to find a way to bring you back to them."
Robin's eyes crinkled in that way of his, a merry glint in their hazel depths as he dropped his hand from the pirate's shoulder and pulled his hood up onto his head, glancing back at Killian as he started to move away.
"Well then, I shall have hope, knowing that such a stubborn git as you is working to reunite me with my family. Now, if you will excuse me? I have a particularly agile deer to catch for my dinner."
"Happy hunting." Killian called as the outlaw began to fade from sight. Then more softly. "My friend..."
"Killian?"
Hook turned to see Emma standing a ways off, watching him cautiously. Her eyes skimmed over him, the rain plastering his hair to his head, the tracks of tears on his cheeks, and her gaze settled on his eyes. She held the gaze for a moment, a look of concern coming over her features. Then she crossed the space between them and reached up to place her hand against his cheek in silent understanding.
He leaned his face against her touch, taking a deep breath to savor the feeling. Pain, but pain meant you were alive. Her hand was warm against the cold wet skin of his cheek and her thumb unerringly wiped at the tracks of the tears that had fallen. He met her eyes and she just nodded.
"Ready to come home now Killian?" Emma asked quietly.
He nodded, meeting her eyes with a look of gratitude and resolve.
"Yes. I have a promise to keep. To a friend."
The End of this story but never of hope...