Prologue
We knew overtaking the Capitol wasn't going to be the end of our problems. Sure, it put the biggest one to rest. But there we were, a ragtag band of kids trying to piece together the remainder of a government. When we really all just wanted to go home.
And we may have eliminated Snow, but not everything he stood for or everyone who believed in it. So the threat was still pretty constant. We all knew that even as we made ourselves comfortable in the penthouses surrounding the Capitol courtyard.
Plutarch and Haymitch had begun rebuilding what was left. With Beetee's help they were forging a new infrastructure. Assigning a cabinet of people who would assume leadership roles they were best suited for. As for me I was a new fangled sort of coast guard. Dealing with shore security and off shore trading and way, way out of my depth (pardon the pun.) Not a day passed that I didn't wish I was just on the shore. Sitting in my boat. Watching a sunrise and fishing until I was watching a sunset. But this was bigger than all of us and we knew it. So those sorts of dreams had to remain just that. Dreams.
And then there was my biggest problem. Annie. I had hoped that liberating the people and moving to a more peaceful place would somehow calm the monsters inside of her but somehow it was only making it worse. Her night terrors, days without being able to eat, lashing out at people she didn't know...sometimes even me...was taking a toll on everyone. The Victor's Council would meet daily to come up with a plan to mobilize and inspire the people. And Annie was part of that. She should have been. But I would spend those meetings trying to hush her, to remind her she was safe, to keep her from crying. All the while, the rest of our people staring at the both of us like we were wounded, pathetic animals. And I would remind myself that they never knew the Annie that I knew. That I fell in love with. All they saw was a mad, wounded lunatic that couldn't be trusted to be alone. And with each passing day I was forgetting the bright vibrant Annie, too.
At Katniss' urging I let Annie stay in our suite. There were several people who had offered to help her and whom she trusted. Often time Joanna, of all people, would stay with her or walk with her. Mostly to save my sanity and let me out for awhile.
But this was the new normal. Living life in the Capitol we had dreamed of overtaking, liberating the districts. Building a safe and fair governing institution. But never free from the reminder of the damage they had done to all of us...not the least of those, my Annie. My future would never be what I had hoped for us as she grew worse with each day and I grew weaker and wearier of trying to love her in the only way I knew how.