A/N: Let me first start by saying that I had so much freaking fun writing this story. I was given the prompt of flight attendant Puck by jennh07 and we've literally been messaging each other back and forth all day finding all sorts of new and hilarious things to put in this story. I found all sorts of ridiculous ideas on the internet while looking for images of male flight attendants. So I now give you my take on Inappropriate Flight Attendant Puck.
Rachel sighs as she walks into the Martini Bar inside JFK airport and finds her two best friends, Santana Lopez and Kurt Hummel, engaging in a little pre flight jitters drinking. The two have never been the best when it comes to flying across the country trapped in a metal tube with wings. She stops at the bar and orders herself a glass of white wine before heading over to where her friends are sitting and making sure that her carryon luggage is right next to her seat with her purse on the table. "Seriously you two, it's just barely after noon and you both have already consumed half a dozen martinis combined. It's just a quick flight home to Ohio."
Santana rolls her eyes at her petite friend and says, "Whatever, Berry. You know me and planes don't get along and that I can get some extreme attitude at altitude when I don't feel good. Which is why we're flying first class and I'm getting an aisle seat so that I can have quick access to the bathroom."
"Ugh don't remind me," Kurt pipes in as he runs his hands over his newest Marc Jacobs jacket that he said was perfect for this flight so that he could be air chic and have style in the aisle. "My brand new, never before worn, straight out of the box Prada shoes have never been the same since the last time we flew together. So I'll be sitting with Rachel in the window seat as far away from you as I possibly can."
"Yeah yeah, Hummel, quit your bitching. I told you I'd buy you a new pair," the Latina responds.
Rachel just chuckles quietly as she sips her wine and listens to her friends bicker with each other. She's positive that they make for an interesting trio; the gay, the lesbian and the Broadway diva; forever at each other's throats but still the best of friends. She checks her watch and sees that they're quickly running out of time (at least what she considers to be running out of time) in order to make it to their gate for the boarding call, so she finishes the last of her wine before slipping her purse over her shoulder and telling Santana and Kurt to gather their bags because they have a flight to catch.
They're only about ten feet away from the Martini Bar when they hear a male voice calling out to them, "Excuse me! I think you forgot something." They all stop and turn around to see a handsome stranger with short brown hair and hazel eyes dressed in a nice white shirt with a grey vest, red tie and a pair of black slacks rolling a bright pink piece of luggage behind him. He looks at all three of them before focusing on Rachel, sending a sudden tingle down her spine, and giving her the handle of the carryon suitcase. "Try not to forget it next time. I wouldn't want it to get destroyed for being left alone. Nothing more suspicious than a bright pink bag on wheels after all," he says with a charming smirk.
She grasps the handle and says, "Thank you so much. I can't believe I almost left this behind." Rachel looks at her two friends and tells them, "Now we really have to hurry if we're going to make it on time." They just roll their eyes at her knowing that they've still got plenty of time to make it to the gate because Rachel has a thing for arriving everywhere at least 30 minutes early. The petite brunette looks at the man once more and smiles politely and says, "Thank you again and have a nice day."
"You too," he responds as he watches the trio walk away before making his own way towards his departing gate.
Not long after they reach their departure gate (which took longer than Rachel planned due to the quick detour to the bathroom because of Santana's nervous stomach) the trio is boarding the plane with the other first class passengers. Kurt and Santana are already seated and buckled in by the time Rachel makes it to her seat near the front of the plane (she had stopped to request extra sick bags for Santana just in case) and she finds herself struggling to get her little suitcase above her head and into the overhead compartment, it's heavier than it looks.
Suddenly the bag is taken out of her hands as she hears a distinctly male voice say, "Here let me help you with that," as he presses his body flush against her back and lifts the bag effortlessly above both their heads and into the bin before stepping back ever so slightly. Rachel can feel her cheeks blushing at the unexpected physical contact. Turning around she sees that it's the same man from before that they met in the airport. "We meet again," he smirks at her. "Please take your seat so that the other passengers may board the plane." He then winks and continues to walk down the aisle towards the cockpit.
Kurt cocks an eyebrow as he watches the exchange between one of his best friends and this sexy as sin male flight attendant. When he walks away he just murmurs, "Manners are sexy. Especially coming from a man like that who looks like it's more natural for him to spew filthy words while in the bedroom."
Santana watches him walk away and says, "That man should come with a sign that says Warning: Beware of the male flight attendant."
Rachel giggles at the silliness of her friends and just says, "Aren't most all of them gay? So you find me a straight one and I'll give you ten thousand dollars."
"Bitch please," the Latina scoffs. "That sky guy wants in your panties so bad even I'm getting wet from it. So you can just save yourself the money and give me all the details after he fucks you into next week."
"Santana!" Rachel admonishes as she swats her friend with her Sky Mall magazine. "Behave."
It's not long before the captain of the airplane is welcoming everyone on board as a blonde female flight attendant waits by the phone on the wall to begin her pre flight safety spiel. "Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome you on board American Airlines flight 4146 with non-stop service from New York City to Columbus, Ohio." As she tells the passengers about the proper way to buckle your seat belt, using your seat cushion as a flotation device and the various emergency exits, her male counterpart is demonstrating each item and Rachel swears that when the blonde woman mentions the lights along the floor that she sees the handsome flight attendant do a few discreet pelvic thrusts in time with his hands going up and down to point out the lights. "Once again we thank you for choosing American Airlines today and we hope you have a pleasant flight."
The petite brunette shakes her head and blinks her eyes a few times to clear her mind that has been fogged by images of what he would look like performing that move without any clothes on and she can feel her cheeks getting warm just for thinking about it. The flight attendants move down the aisle as they make a final pass of the plane checking to make sure that all of the overhead luggage bins are shut tight, seat backs are straight, trays are in the upright and locked position and that seatbelts are buckled. The lone male flight attendant is in charge of checking first class and when he stops in front of Rachel he bends down to quietly say, "Don't make me belt you," as he looks pointedly at her seatbelt. She quickly buckles it across her waist and he tugs on it gently, letting his fingers touch for a little longer than would be deemed necessary before moving on to the next person. She can't control the way the hairs on the back of her neck rise at his touch. When he comes back up the aisle he leans down to whisper into her ear, "I heard what you three were talking about earlier. Yes, I am a male flight attendant and…No, I'm not," before disappearing into the little kitchen area at the front of the plane.
"What was that about?" Kurt asks her once they're alone.
Rachel glances at her male best friend after she manages to drag her eyes away from the other man's firm backside. "He was confirming Santana's claims that he's a straight man."
He nods his head and tells her, "Oh Honey I could have told you that as well. That man doesn't even register on the gaydar other than as I wish he were gay. Now, please stop talking so that I can close my eyes and try to relax and make it through this flight."
A little while later the flight attendants are busy prepping their carts for the snack and beverage service. It appears that the single male flight attendant is still taking care of first class. When he arrives at their row he looks at Rachel and asks with a raised eyebrow, "What's your pleasure? Coffee, tea, or me?"
She blushes and does her best to hide the look of desire that crosses her face as she ducks her head and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and is about to answer before Santana grabs his attention by saying loudly, "I'll have a Corona. Here's your money and you can keep the change because seeing that look on her face is worth it." She slips a $20 into his hand and smirks proudly.
"Santana," Rachel hisses at her.
She just stares at her friend, whose face is red with embarrassment. "What it's true," which just makes the man in the aisle chuckle.
Kurt orders a Bloody Mary to "settle his stomach" which garners a chuckle from the flight attendant as he says; "Saving lives one drink at a time." He makes sure to let his arm graze against Rachel's chest (eliciting a small gasp from the surprised woman) as he leans down to place it on the well dressed man's tray. Her throat suddenly feels parched and she just asks for a bottle of water which he hands to her and lets their fingers touch for just a moment before reaching for their snacks.
"You don't have peanuts right? I have a slight peanut allergy," she tells the man that has been making blatant and discreet sexual advances on her since the beginning of the flight.
"No ma'am, I do not have a package of small nuts," he smirks. "I do however have some cheese and crackers or pretzels for your oral pleasure."
Rachel gulps at the heated look in his intense hazel eyes as her heart rate speeds up. "P-pretzels please," she stutters slightly. He places the snack in her hands, letting his fingers linger a little longer this time, before quickly getting snacks for her two friends and then moving on to the rest of the first class passengers.
As soon as he's out of earshot, Santana leans across the aisle and tells Rachel in a serious tone, "You need to jump on that man's joystick before I decide to switch teams and do it for you."
Rachel actually manages to get in a quick nap on the short flight but she's woken up when she feels her body being jostled. When she opens her eyes and looks around she notices that the crotch of the male flight attendant is practically being shoved in her face as he digs around in the overhead bin above her seat. Once he pulls back she notices a pillow in his hand that he then turns around to give to Santana.
"I hope you didn't mind me poking you in the face," he says in a smooth voice that belies the fact that his crotch was literally just rubbing against her cheek.
The petite diva knows that she should be appalled at his outrageous behavior but she can't deny the reaction her body is having to him or the fact that it has been at least six months since the last time a man has touched her in an even remotely sexual manner. Taking a deep breath to help calm her nerves and to channel her inner Santana she gives him an alluring smile. "I didn't mind. It was a very," she pauses as she tries to think of an appropriate word for the situation, "interesting way to wake up." Kurt lets out an inelegant snort at her words while Santana smirks proudly.
"Glad to be of service." He winks at her before heading off to help another passenger.
While Rachel is exiting the restroom the plane hits a patch of turbulence causing her to stumble and almost fall to the floor before she is suddenly caught up in a pair of strong muscular arms that she just knows belong to the man that has been coming on to her since the moment she set foot on the plane. Her hands grasp his biceps as his hands rest on her hips as he sets her back on her feet.
"Thank you."
"Sure thing, just your aisle donkey here to save your fine ass," he tells her as one of his hands slides down to give her butt a quick squeeze. Rachel's eyes widen and her lips part in a loud gasp as her heartbeat hammers in her ears. "Can you make it back to your seat alright?"
"I should be fine as long as we don't fly into anymore turbulence areas," she replies as she feels his muscles flex underneath her hands.
He chuckles at her as he lets go of her tiny frame, "It's cute how you think we control the weather. Make sure to buckle up when you get back to your seat."
As the plane starts to descend towards the airport in Columbus, the flight attendants are once again patrolling the aisle making sure that everyone and everything is as it should be. Rachel can hear the "sexy sky guy" (as she's started to think of him) having a little trouble with another passenger that doesn't want to put her tray away. The brunette giggles quietly as she hears him mumble on his way by, "I said the upright position, not the uptight position."
When the plane finally stops moving and the fasten seat belt sign turns off, Rachel stands up to try and get her luggage down and is not surprised at all when she feels a hard muscular body behind her. What does surprise her though is that she can actually feel his semi hard erection rubbing against her lower back (and the resulting rush of heat that floods her core) as he reaches into the overhead bin and easily gets her bag and places it on the ground by her feet. She feels him slip something into her hand before he winks at her and walks away to the front of the plane so that he can politely smile as he thanks everyone for flying American Airlines and wishing them a pleasant stay in Ohio.
Once Rachel, Santana and Kurt are all off the plane, she looks at what he put into her hand and sees his name and phone number as well as the name of the hotel that he's going to be staying at for the next few days before he has to fly out again scribbled onto a napkin.
"Way to go, Diva," Kurt tells her.
Santana just smirks at her and says, "Lucky bitch."
Later that evening, Rachel walks into the lounge of the hotel and sits on the barstool next to the man that she hasn't been able to stop thinking about for hours. She orders a drink and takes a sip before angling her body towards his. Licking her lips she says, "So I was told that for a good time I should call Noah Puckerman and that I could enjoy a ride on his joystick."
His hazel eyes travel up and down her body, sending a blaze of desire throughout her body before letting his gaze settle on her plump red lips. "That sounds about right. You ready to fly, Baby?"