A/N: This fic does not mean I hate Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings, it
means I just wanted to be funny for a change. Perhaps all you Potter haters
would like this..
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings and what I have
lunatically written has never been written the books, THANK
GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry- Walks into the hall wearing a red bikini. Hi everyone!
*The random idiot girls in the hall scream and run way* No! Get away from us! We are now converted into Draco fans! Help us Draco!
Draco- Walks in wearing nothing! (joke) Walks in wearing a green thong. I am here to save the day! Where is my cape? (Goyle puts a horrible pink cape on Draco's shoulders) Now I am ready to fight!
*The random idiot girls half faint* Oh no! Someone save us! Draco's become an idiot! Legolas! We are now Legolas fans!
Legolas barges in through a door, wearing nothing at all! (I'm serious.) - Where are those girls?
*The idiots don't do anything but stare at Legolas* Then they all stampede towards him, screaming, "We love you! You are so sexy! You look best wearing nothing!"
Legolas runs out of the room, nearly knocking down Dumbledore.
Dumbledore- OHMAGAWD its Legolas! He is so cute! Then he follows the idiots. Harry-What is going on? How come they like him? He's naked!
Draco- Weren't you reading the words Purple Goddess wrote above? They are idiots.
Purple Goddess- Duh.
Both- What're you doing here?
Purple Goddess- I wrote the story! Now I'll write some more.
Both- Nooooooooo! Someone stop her! She's making us do things that are sick and wrong!
Purple Goddess- Muwahahahahahahahahah! Now start fighting.
Both bikini boys face eachother. They point their wands only to find out . . . . . . . . .. they're chickens!
Both- WEASLEY!
Fred and George- Hahahaha.. Aaaack! The humanity! Bikinis! *They faint*
Gandalf comes in. I am your new headmaster. I will start by announcing the new uniform: BIKINIS FOR THE GIRLS AND THONGS FOR THE BOYS! COWABUNGA! He says something and Hogwarts is transformed into a bikini-thong school complete with bras for doors etc.
The student body runs around panicking. Pansy is so fat, her bikini explodes and she is wearing nothing at all. Everyone is pointing and laughing.when Gandalf says: GOOD IDEA PARKINSON! EVERYONE WEARS NOTHING! THAT IS THE DRESSCODE! The student body runs around naked now.
Hermione- Wow Ron. Starts kissing Ron.
Ron-NOOOOOOooooo! Stop! Stop!
Everyone: YOU SUCK GANDALF!
Gandalf-No one likes me. I am suing you, Purple Goddess.
Purple Goddess: Hey, I'm your writer. Nothing you can do. I control you.
Gandalf-I quit. Opens the door and walks to the Lord of the Rings fiction story where another author is writing.
Purple Goddess- Sorry for the mistake. I was supposed to get Aragorn.
Author-That's okay. Closes the magical door.
The student body starts crying. Why didn't you get Aragorn instead? Ron is crying the most.
Purple Goddess- I will be back!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Harry- Walks into the hall wearing a red bikini. Hi everyone!
*The random idiot girls in the hall scream and run way* No! Get away from us! We are now converted into Draco fans! Help us Draco!
Draco- Walks in wearing nothing! (joke) Walks in wearing a green thong. I am here to save the day! Where is my cape? (Goyle puts a horrible pink cape on Draco's shoulders) Now I am ready to fight!
*The random idiot girls half faint* Oh no! Someone save us! Draco's become an idiot! Legolas! We are now Legolas fans!
Legolas barges in through a door, wearing nothing at all! (I'm serious.) - Where are those girls?
*The idiots don't do anything but stare at Legolas* Then they all stampede towards him, screaming, "We love you! You are so sexy! You look best wearing nothing!"
Legolas runs out of the room, nearly knocking down Dumbledore.
Dumbledore- OHMAGAWD its Legolas! He is so cute! Then he follows the idiots. Harry-What is going on? How come they like him? He's naked!
Draco- Weren't you reading the words Purple Goddess wrote above? They are idiots.
Purple Goddess- Duh.
Both- What're you doing here?
Purple Goddess- I wrote the story! Now I'll write some more.
Both- Nooooooooo! Someone stop her! She's making us do things that are sick and wrong!
Purple Goddess- Muwahahahahahahahahah! Now start fighting.
Both bikini boys face eachother. They point their wands only to find out . . . . . . . . .. they're chickens!
Both- WEASLEY!
Fred and George- Hahahaha.. Aaaack! The humanity! Bikinis! *They faint*
Gandalf comes in. I am your new headmaster. I will start by announcing the new uniform: BIKINIS FOR THE GIRLS AND THONGS FOR THE BOYS! COWABUNGA! He says something and Hogwarts is transformed into a bikini-thong school complete with bras for doors etc.
The student body runs around panicking. Pansy is so fat, her bikini explodes and she is wearing nothing at all. Everyone is pointing and laughing.when Gandalf says: GOOD IDEA PARKINSON! EVERYONE WEARS NOTHING! THAT IS THE DRESSCODE! The student body runs around naked now.
Hermione- Wow Ron. Starts kissing Ron.
Ron-NOOOOOOooooo! Stop! Stop!
Everyone: YOU SUCK GANDALF!
Gandalf-No one likes me. I am suing you, Purple Goddess.
Purple Goddess: Hey, I'm your writer. Nothing you can do. I control you.
Gandalf-I quit. Opens the door and walks to the Lord of the Rings fiction story where another author is writing.
Purple Goddess- Sorry for the mistake. I was supposed to get Aragorn.
Author-That's okay. Closes the magical door.
The student body starts crying. Why didn't you get Aragorn instead? Ron is crying the most.
Purple Goddess- I will be back!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!