Disclaimer: Burn Notice still doesn't belong to me unfortunately.
Rating T
Summary: This is based around the scene in 5x02. You know the scene where we all squeeed! I always get a little lump in my throat when she tells him she's a big girl…so this basically came from that scene.
A/N: As always, thank you to Purdy's Pal and DaisyDay for reading through the first few pages of this, and to Jedi Skysinger for being so encouraging
For the love of Fiona
Fiona stared down at the phone in her hand dubiously before she placed it back into her purse. Michael had sounded odd on the phone, almost hesitant. He very rarely called her to invite her over to the loft; she always sort of just invited herself. But when he told her to come over because he had cooked them something, alarm bells started ringing.
Things had been going so well between them. They had reached a point in their relationship when she actually felt secure with her place in his life. She couldn't deny that this had her a little worried. With his new life in the CIA looming, it had always been in the back of her mind that he would disappear from her life again. She had no doubts that he wouldn't look back on the last five years or think of the people he was leaving behind.
With a heavy sigh she made her way towards the small closet and opened the door. Most of her clothes were still in storage because hotel closets weren't really accommodating for space. She had a few nice things, but what exactly could she wear to this impromptu dinner that could very well spell the end of these last five years?
Reaching out a hand she skimmed along the different fabrics that caressed her fingers until she stopped at a white dress that she had been saving for a special occasion. Well, since there would possibly be significantly less special occasions in the future, what better time to wear it than now, when your boyfriend is about to give you the, 'it's not you, it's me' speech.
With a heavy heart she lifted the dress out of the closet and threw it onto the bed. It was such a shame really, such a pretty dress for such a sombre occasion. But if she was going to be cast aside in favour of the job that had always taken first place, then she might as well wear something that showed him what he would lose if he threw it all away.
Walking into the tiny bathroom she turned on the shower and tried not to dwell on the impending gloominess that seemed to have overtaken her mind. She would be okay; just like she was before. She wasn't going to cry, those days had long gone. If these last few years hadn't meant anything to him at all then maybe she would be better off on her own.
Stepping under the hot sprays she let the water wash over her body to cast the remnants sadness away. If this was going to be the last time she was going to be with the man she loved then she was going to make it last as long as she could. If all she was going to be left with was her memories then she was going to make them worth remembering.
000
Michael looked up when the loft door opened to reveal the woman who had been occupying his thoughts. His breath caught in his throat when she approached; she looked beautiful.
"Jazz?" she asked with a smile when she stopped at the breakfast bar to take the glass of wine he offered her.
"A present from Max," he told her with a nervous smile. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? This was Fiona, the woman he loved…so why was he babbling about max when he should be telling her how beautiful she looked? "I think he felt bad for giving me a talking to."
"Let me guess he was less than thrilled how I handled the Hucksley sitting?" she shrugged her shoulders and lifted the rim of the glass to her lips, not really hearing any of his explanations.
"My way of doing things doesn't work for the boy scouts," she smiled lightly as she clinked her glass into his. So what else was new?
"I wanted to talk to you Fi," he suddenly blurted as he put his untouched wine back down onto the counter with a bang.
Fiona lowered her glass and her eyes grew wide. This was it, the speech that she had been expecting. Her heart thumped so loudly in her chest she was sure he would be able to hear it. Taking a mouthful of wine she swallowed it down, hoping the liquid would numb the ache inside her.
"I haven't been able to sleep well lately," he told her quickly, holding his hand up as if to explain himself. "And I've had a few things on my mind… I know we're going through some big changes you and I…"
Fiona swallowed the lump in her throat, washing it away with another mouthful of wine. Why didn't he just come out and say it?
"…And I don't want to pile anything else on top of that—"
"You don't have to explain Michael," she told him miserably, her voice breaking through his words. "I'm a big girl…you have a new and exciting life…I don't want to hold you back…" the last words almost choked her but she pushed them away by downing the rest of the red liquid in one gulp. Looking back up at him she met his eyes with a determined gaze. She wasn't going to break down, if he wanted this then she would let him go.
To her surprise he was watching her with a look she hadn't seen in a long time. There was a hint of a smile on his lips when his expression softened.
"You don't hold me back," he told her, causing her heart to jolt inside her chest. Lifting her eyes to his she tried to keep the sorrow from her gaze as she wished he would just come out and say it so she could leave and take solace in the bottle of single malt whisky that she had back at the hotel.
"That job I was doing for the CIA would never have succeeded without you," he told her. "I need you Fi…"
Fiona was confused. He wasn't supposed to say things like this…not when he was going to tell her it was all over. Placing her empty glass back onto the counter, she contemplated reaching for his glass when he spoke again.
"I got you something," he told her as he walked over towards a plank of wood that was lying flat on his workbench.
Fiona stared down at it and then back up at him as if he had lost his mind. She knew he could probably see how she was holding back the emotion she had already promised herself she wouldn't feel, but she couldn't help it. Most men gave ex girlfriend's their keys back, not planks of wood.
"Lumber?" she asked miserably as she tried to think of a use for his gift that didn't involve hitting him with it.
"It's a shelf…" he told her with a smile, as if she would suddenly understand what he was trying to tell her. "I mean, it's going to be a shelf." Picking up a snow globe that he'd brought back for her from his last trip, he shook it, feeling more confident as he spoke. "I was hoping you could put your snow globes on it…"
Fiona's eyes grew wide in confusion. Her head hurt, her heart ached and he wasn't making any sense. Was he breaking up with her or not?
"It is a new job Fi, but it's not a new life," he told her as he stepped closer, waving the snow globe between them. "I like my life," he continued as he watched her eyes grow wide. "And I want to live it with you, here…that's what I was trying to say…."
Fiona stared up at him with tear filled eyes when he put the globe down and reached for her. His fingertips skimmed over her shoulders as he moved closer.
"I want you to move in," he told her softly as his lips loomed above hers. "What do you think?"
Fiona's heartbeat was pounding in her ears and her mouth gaped open in shock. She hadn't expected this, she had been prepared for the worst, she'd even accepted her fate in a way, but he had turned everything on its head.
She seemed to lose the power of speech as he leaned over her, closing the small distance between them. His influence over her dominated her senses as she felt his fingers trace the line of her jaw gently. Her eyes fluttered closed with the sensations he was enticing throughout her entire body and she felt herself tremble when he moved his other hand up to cup her face in his soft grasp.
"Yes," she whispered, opening her eyes to meet his again, as she gravitated towards him slowly, her lips meeting his in a soft kiss. Pulling away again she gazed up at him still not quite believing this was happening. Her mind swam with uncertainty when he leaned in closer, silencing the worry that he would regret all of this in the morning.
His breath fanned her face and her eyes fluttered closed as he descended on her lips once more, this time giving in to the passion that coursed throughout her body. Unable to wait any longer, she sank into him, desperately needing to deepen the kiss. He readily complied, his mouth opening above hers as he lost himself in her.
One potent kiss followed another until they broke apart gasping for air. Their eyes met and held, desire illuminating in each other's gaze. Wordlessly, as if by some silent understanding, he released Fiona's body and she stepped back slightly to reach down for his hand. His fingers wrapped around hers and he willingly followed as she gently tugged him towards the bed...their bed…
000
Sunlight was streaming through the windows of the loft, highlighting the couple entwined together in the bed. Fiona breathed in deeply and moved backwards into the warm body behind her and slid her hand over his on her stomach. Last night had been so different.
Blinking open her eyes, her gaze fell onto the wooden shelf that rested on the bench beside the bed. So many changes had happened over the last few months, some of them unexpected. Last night he had made love to her slowly, taking his time to worship her body with his own. She was used to frantic and passionate, not slow and tender.
Skimming her fingers over his she stroked his skin, enjoying the feel of his warmth beneath her touch. She still couldn't let herself believe this was actually happening. There was a small part of her still worried that he would wake up and realise what he had done and instantly try to find a way to undo it. But she was prepared for that too, if it happened. She wouldn't quite believe it until he actually accepted her belongings into his home.
Michael stirred behind her and tugged her into his chest as he pressed a kiss onto her shoulder. Fiona swallowed hard before she turned in his arms to nestle her head beneath his chin. Closing her eyes she listened to the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear and she knew how she could easily get used to waking up like this every day.
He yawned as he brought his arms up to wrap around her before he leaned down to plant a kiss on top of her head. His body was still recovering from their long night of passion and even though he had poured every ounce of love into her to reassure her that he really did want this, he knew she was holding part of herself back.
Moving his fingertips up and down her arms he twisted then slightly so he could see her face. Leaning forward he met her half way to place a soft kiss onto her lips before drawing back to smile down at her.
"Hey," he whispered with a sleepy smile.
Fiona felt her heart jolt when his eyes met hers. So many times after they had shared their nights they had very rarely woken up together. She liked this feeling and when he smiled down at her she felt some of the doubts melt away.
"Hey," she beamed as she lifted her hand to nestle his face in her palm. "Are you…okay?"
"Me?" he asked, confusion marring his features but he masked them with another smile. "I'm…happy…"
"Michael Westen happy?" she chuckled as she skimmed her fingertips over his lips. "Shouldn't the earth stop spinning or something?"
Before she knew what was happening Michael flipped her onto her back to trap her beneath his body. Scraping his fingers over her skin, he caught the place between her waist and ribs that always caused her to squeal when he tickled her.
"Nooo," she squirmed and laughed hysterically when he continued to torment her. "MICHAEL…"
"What?" he asked with a soft chuckle when he pulled his fingers away from her ribs to lift himself up onto his elbows to hover over her.
Fiona felt her heart jolt inside her chest and she suddenly felt a thousand different emotions merging into one. He was here and he was hers, heart, body and soul. She suddenly felt giddy, and she wasn't sure if she would be able to keep the love from her eyes anymore
"Are you sure you want this?" she asked him with a watery smile. "Do you really want me to live here?"
"Yes," he told her as he dipped his head to kiss her soundly before pulling away again just as quickly. "The months I spent away felt like years."
"Tell me about it," she sighed as she moved one of her hands up to cradle his face. "It always feels like years to me."
Michael couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from hers. He had never felt so completely adored in his whole life. Wordlessly he dipped his head again and caught her lips with his own, slowly increasing the pressure until her mouth opened beneath his.
Fiona slid her hands up his chest and over his shoulders to bury her fingers into his hair. She moulded her body against his, needing to be as close to him as possible. One smouldering kiss followed another, as they touched and caressed, expressing their love for each other with fervent strokes.
His lips left hers to trail soft kisses down her throat, sparking passionate fires everywhere they touched. Fiona angled her head to give him better access and closed her eyes as waves of desire crashed over her body. Her breath seemed to leave her in soft desperate gasps when he began kissing his way back towards her chin, every kiss a testament of his love for her.
"Fiona," he whispered when he moved to her ear, his breath fanning against her skin when he continued his mantra. "Fiona..."
Michael pulled her closer. He loved this woman so much; no words could ever describe it. He was totally lost in her and when her fingers came down and raked over his chest, he knew he would give anything in his power to make her happy. No woman had ever made him feel so completely loved.
He delighted in the tiny gasps she made when he kissed his way back up her throat. She angled her neck to accommodate him, her soft gasps spurring him onwards until he couldn't bear to be parted from her any longer. He slid his lips up towards her chin placing open mouthed kisses along the way, until his lips met hers again for another scorching kiss. Her body surrendered to him when he gently pushed her down further into the mattress.
His mouth left hers briefly so he could lift himself up and look down into her tear filled eyes. Her lips were slightly swollen and her breathing was coming in deep shuddering gasps and he didn't know if there would come a time when he could possibly love her more than he already did. Her emotion filled eyes called out to him and he slowed his movements. Leaning over her he kissed her gently, moving his lips to caress every part of her face before pulling back to gaze down into her eyes.
"I need you," he whispered, before dipping his head to kiss her again.
Fiona opened her mouth beneath his, surrendering herself to him in every possible way. Making love with him had always been so powerful. It had never been like this before for her, not with anyone.
Reaching for him again she pulled him down to lie on top of her body, closing the distance as well as showering him with an unspoken promise of her complete devotion. When his mouth covered hers in another heated kiss, she allowed him to take control of their love making as she welcomed him into her body.
She whispered his name as he took her over the edge of passion, washing away the painful desire to replace it with his loving essence. He buried himself deeply inside her as he chanted her name, whispering it one last time as she pulled him in. She took him over the edge with her when she cried out his name, her whole body shaking as he followed a few seconds later.
They held each other until their ragged breathing became more controlled, and their shaking began to subside. Michael leaned up on his elbows so he could look down into her eyes and smiled when she lifted one of her fingers to trace his lip.
"I just realised something," he whispered as he kissed the tip of her finger. "How do we tell my mom?"
000
Madeline watched her son and his girlfriend dubiously when they paid her an unexpected visit that morning. She regarded the pair of them with a sceptic glance when they stood side by side, their shoulders touching.
"So," she asked finally as she picked up another cigarette. "Are you two going to tell me what's going on or do I have to guess?"
"Mom…it's not…I—"
Fiona reached for Michael's hand and stopped him before he could trip over his own words. Smiling up at him she shook her head when he returned her smile with one of his own.
"Madeline," Fiona started when she turned away from him to face his mother. "We have something to tell you."
"Oh my god," Madeline gasped, a beaming smiling appearing on her lips. "You're pregnant…"
Michael shifted uncomfortably and looked from his mother to Fiona, his face paling with every passing second. Fiona squeezed his fingers and couldn't help the laughter that erupted from her lips.
"No," she chuckled before she released Michael's hand. "I don't think either of us is ready for that yet."
"You're not?" Madeline asked, disappointment echoing in her voice. "Well that's too bad."
"Too bad?" Michael asked incredulously. "Not long ago you told Fi we couldn't look after a hamster!"
Madeline's eyes shot to Fiona's accusingly before she glanced back at her son and shrugged her shoulders. "Well I didn't expect her to tell you."
"Of course I told him," Fiona sighed. "I tell him everything…we don't have secrets."
"Look we're getting away from the point," Michael groaned. "Can we get to the real reason why we're here and it's not to announce Fi is pregnant!"
"Pregnant?" Sam's voice boomed out when he came in through the back door. His face seemed to be one big smile when he came further into the kitchen. "Fi's pregnant?"
"I—" Michael sighed and hung his head in surrender, how could one announcement be so damn hard. He was just about to go through the whole thing again when Sam stepped up towards him.
"Why you ol' dog," Sam beamed as he slapped Michael on the back. "Well I'll be damned, a little Mikey…"
"Sam—" Michael opened his mouth to tell him he had got it all wrong but his friend was already celebrating.
"She's not pregnant," Madeline told him abruptly, her voice causing Sam to stop his jubilation as the grin dropped from his face.
"She's not?"
"I'm not," Fiona shook her head and looked from Madeline to Sam, daring either of them to speak. "I am NOT pregnant."
"WE'RE MOVING IN TOGETHER," Michael blurted quickly before anyone else could speak. "That's it…That's what we came to tell you."
Fiona sighed and leaned against him, slipping her hand into his when the other two people in the room looked at each other before Madeline charged towards them and engulfed both of them in a hug.
"This is…so…" shaking her head she patted Michael's face affectionately before pulling Fiona into another hug. Stepping back again she beamed a smile at them. "Well it's about time!"
"That's it?" Michael asked her. "I tell you what you've been wanting to hear for years, and all you can say is, 'it's about time'?"
"Oh quit whining," Madeline told him with a wide smile before she fixed her gaze on the other man in the room. "Sam go and get the Champagne from the garage, we need to celebrate!"
"Sure thing Maddie," he nodded as he took a step back. "Mikey, wanna give me a hand."
Michael looked at his friend and glanced back towards Fiona who seemed to be in a deep conversation with his mother. Stepping away, he followed Sam out of the room and into the garage waiting for some kind of pep talk from the ex-Navy Seal.
"Something on your mind, Sam?" he asked when they walked into the silence of the garage.
"This is big Mikey," Sam told him worriedly when he pulled a bottle of champagne from the fridge and handed it to his friend. "Are you sure about this?"
"I don't think I've ever been surer of anything in my life Sam," he told him honestly. "I know what I'm doing."
Sam regarded his friend thoughtfully before he broke into a wide grin. He had seen his two friends together and he had seen them apart. Without each other they were both miserable and he'd always known that at some time they would reach this point in their relationship, it had just taken him by surprise. "Well then I'm pleased for ya brother."
"You're sure?" Michael asked with a dubious smile. "Because you didn't sound—"
"She may be crazy Mike, but she's good for ya," Sam told him as he slapped him on the back. "Your life will never be the same again brother!"
Michael shook his head when Sam took the bottle from his hands and made his way back into the kitchen where Madeline already had four glasses waiting. The smile on her face spoke volumes, and when he came to stand beside Fiona again he felt the warmth of her body seeping into his.
Sam popped the cork with a loud pop and both Michael and Fiona leaned against each other while they watched the other two people act like children when the bubbly liquid poured over the tops of the glasses. Michael turned to look down at the woman beside him and slipped his arm around her shoulders. He couldn't believe how long it had taken them to get to this stage in their relationship, but now they were actually here, it didn't scare him as much as he thought it would.
Madeline held two glasses of the sparkling liquid out to her son and his girlfriend before taking hers from Sam's hand. Lifting the glass in the air she couldn't help the smile that burst onto her lips when she thought of something significant to say.
"To my son and his darling Fiona," she beamed. "I wish you happiness always."
"I'll drink to that," Sam grinned as he held up his glass to clink it against Michael's. "I'm happy for ya brother…for both of ya…"
Michael couldn't help but smile, something he had been doing a lot of lately. Glancing over towards his girlfriend he watched when his mother slipped her arm through Fiona's and led her out of the room towards the back yard. Fiona looked back at him and beamed a smile in his direction and he knew in that one moment that this was right. She had always been the one; he just hadn't been able to see it.
All those years she had stayed by his side even when he didn't deserve her. She had turned his life upside down and given his everything to live for and he wasn't ever going to waste it. As he followed Sam outside into the yard he realised in one perfect moment that she had known it all along. Fiona had kept her faith even when he had lost his. She was everything…she was his life…she was…his… Fiona…
The End