Okay, so I thought the best way to get over Twist and Shout was to give myself some closure and write my own little ending. (I was wrong, by the way- it just made me cry even more.) So, here it is! Dean's last letter to Cas before he comes home. Warning: you may burst into tears, as I did while I was writing this. Lots of hugs and kisses and all that!
~FiTeamFreeWill~
Take my hand, take my whole life too; for I can't help falling in love with you.
Dean parked his motorcycle, swinging his leg over the side. He patted the warm metal fondly; today was the last day he'd ever see his bike.
He ambled down to the beach, their beach, and sat down, pulling the pen and paper he'd brought out of his bag. Breathing in the smell of the ocean air, he sat still for a moment and gazed out at the crashing waves. He could almost see Cas standing there, cupping his hands and shouting, "I love you!" into the wind.
Dear Cas, he wrote.
It's been five years now. Five years since I let you slip away from me. I can't help but feel it's my fault; after all, you never would have been in that situation had I not left. But I did leave. I left you with no explanation or goodbye, and although you told me a thousand times that it was okay, that you were fine, I know how much it hurt you. I've said it so many times before. I'll say it again now: I'm so sorry.
Do you remember, right before you faded, you made me promise to try and be happy without you. I'd broken so many other promises I'd made. I was not going to break this one. I tried so hard to keep it. But I can't be happy without you. You're always going to be the person I love above all else, and I can't ever be happy again unless you're here, in my arms. I'm so, so, sorry, baby, but I have to. I have to break another promise I made.
God, Cas, I miss you so much. I wake up every day hoping that it was all just some terrible nightmare, that you're going to be right there when I reach across the bed, but you never are, and the pain of losing you hits me all over again. I can't take it anymore. I have to see you again. I'll come home to you soon, baby. See you then.
Yours, always,
Dean.
He folded up the letter and shoved it into his pocket, taking the box full of pictures and letters out of his bag. He went through each one, remembering. By the time he reached his favorite picture of Cas- the one of him standing in the sand, waving at him- tears were falling unchecked down his face.
Clutching the picture, he waded into the surf and pulled out a razor blade. He cut his wrists open, letting the blood stain the sand. He kissed the picture. Then, a moment before his eyes fluttered shut for the last time, he looked up at the sky and whispered, "See you then, my darling."