Pregnant?!
Authors Note: It's amazing how i come up with these things... i was in the shower when pop i was laughing my ass off... hope you find it as funny as i did when it was in my head
... it's also written a bit like a script, just in case you get confused xXx
DRACO: Harry! Love of my life! Come and we shall bask in sunshine!
HARRY: … Are you feeling ok?
DRACO: Of course sweetie! Why wouldn't I be?!
HARRY: (gives boyfriend weird look) ….
Well for starters, you would never call me sweetie… and you're eye's twitching. That only happens when you're nervous.
DRACO: (twitch)
no it's (twitch) not… (twitch twitch)
HARRY: -- just tell me what's wrong.
DRACO: (sighs)
I just don't know how I should tell you something like this.
HARRY: (wraps arms around boyfriend's neck in hug)
just give it to me straight… O.o pun UN-intentional!
DRACO: (chuckles, but then gets all serious)
you're right, so here it is… Harry? You're pregnant.
HARRY: …
DRACO: Harry?
HARRY: … What?
DRACO: You're denser than I thought… you know! A baby! You've got a bun baking in the oven, you-
HARRY: But I don't HAVE an oven! Im a guy! How can I be-?
(Dumbledore suddenly just pops out of nowhere, scaring the shite out of Draco)
DRACO: ARRGH!
DUMBLEDORE: ARRGH!
DRACO: ARRGH … (!slap!)
DUMBLEDORE: ARRG…ow
DRACO: Where the HELL did you come from!?
DUMBLEDORE: (smirks evilly)
Well when a man loves a woman-…
DRACO: NO! ew ew ew
(shudders) Gross!
HARRY: O.o Pregnant?!
DUMBLEDORE: hmm? Oh yes about that… Harry? You're not a bloke.
DRACO: There see? You're …
(stops and thinks about what Dumbledore just said) … what?
HARRY: Oo WHAT?! Of course I'm a bloke! Ive got eh …
(gestures between his legs) all the blokey equipment!
DRACO: (smirks)
And a great one too!
(suddenly looks sheepish) err not that I've seen it or anything
DUMBLEDORE: (looks guilty)
yes, well about that…
HARRY: -- what did you do?
DUMBLEDORE: (Whistles)
HARRY: ALBUS-
DUMBLEDORE: OK! Well you see, you where actually born a girl. Then Voldemort came etc, etc. blah, blah, blah and you came into my possession. But you were a girl, I just couldn't see how people would react to a woman being the saviour of the wizarding world so I transfigured you're appearance into that of a man's… you've still got the female works under your skin.
HARRY: Oo… Well that was unexpected.
DRACO: …Does this mean I'm straight?
HARRY: (Glares at boyfriend)
DRACO: Sorry… Harriet.
HARRIET: (eye twitches)
… Dumbledore?
DUMBLEDORE: yes my boy? Err… dear?
HARRIET: Draco's the father right?
DUMBLEDORE: (Chuckles)
Of course my dear boy… !JESUS!… sweet-cheeks.
HARRIET: Stop that!
DRACO: (snickers)
HARRIET: Dumbledore?
DUMBLEDORE: Yeah-huh?
HARRIET: How will I have this… (gives boyfriend meaningful look)
this BUN?
DUMBLEDORE: -- like a normal woman
HARRIET: O.o but I don't have a va-
DUMBLEDORE: through you're anus.
HARRIET: …
DRACO: … Harry?
DUMBLEDORE: My Golden-Girl?
HARRIET: …
DRACO: Harry?!
HARRIET: (squeaky voice)
… anus! O.o (faints)
DRACO: (kicks side)
is she dead?
DUMBLEDORE: wha-? Nah! She'll live…. Sherbet Lemon?
FIN
Authors Note: This was a VERY popular (by my standards anyway lol) oneshot at it's original home with over 30 reviews... and it's COMPLETE! What more could you ask for!? But anyway...
R&R plzkthnkz
xXx