Loveboat
Nami did not answer, but instead leaned to the side, a hand on her hip, considering the gangling, undistinguished-looking man. Middle-aged and bearded, he wore a pair of thick spectacles and baggy trousers. He held a stack of glossy brochures in his arm and was holding one of them out to her.
Gingerly, she took it from him and glanced at it. "Loveboat? What's that?" she asked warily.
"It's a brand-new cruise ship," he said excitedly with a toothy smile. "Today is its maiden voyage. Three days around the island. Spa, gourmet cuisine, swimming pool, casino, lounges, live entertainment and even karaoke. It's all listed in the brochure."
"That's nice." Nami sensed a sales pitch coming and passed the brochure back to the strange man. The name sounded ridiculously corny and she had better things to do than to waste her money on a cruise ship.
He waved his hand and told her to keep it. "Tell your friends. There's a special promotion. First 20 couples get on for free."
"Free?" That caught her attention. Who didn't like free stuff?
He nodded. When he saw Nami reconsidering, he scurried off to the next lady in the market, waving another brochure at her.
Slowly Nami unfolded the brochure and perused its contents. Sure enough the ship was huge and designed for fun and comfort on the sea. The more she read it, the more she liked the idea of spending her time on a cruise ship. She never been on one before and thought it could be a splendid adventure. A safe kind of adventure. No struggling through the merciless desert, falling out of the sky or fighting off the living dead. The Thousand Sunny was docked for another week on the island until the Log Pose reset itself so it wasn't like there was anything else to do in the meantime.
Now the question was, who to take with her? Her list of possible candidates was short and dismal.
While her crew mates were loyal and sweet in that dumb sort of way, they all had their own annoying habit that drove her up the wall. She would have to spend three straight days with whoever she decided and she didn't know if she could handle that without murdering him first. But she reasoned the ship was big with plenty of things to do so it should be all right. Hopefully.
By the time Nami got back to the Thousand Sunny, she still couldn't make up her mind on who to ask. It was mind-boggling. Not one of her choices stood out and every time she settled on someone she changed her mind. Did she really have to go with someone to get on for free? She checked the brochure again and grumbled. There was no way around it. Finally she decided she should pick by the most scientific way possible: draw a name from a box.
Cutting up a sheet of paper, she jotted down all their names and threw them into a shoebox. Nami gave it a good shake and carefully pulled out a slip of paper.
Luffy.
Nami sighed. Not exactly the best person to drag along to a cruise ship. His stomach was a bottomless pit and there was no telling how much food there was. If the ship ran out of food, it could spell disaster for her and everyone else. She weighed the risks and thought about it some more. Just go with it. The shoebox made the choice.
It took Nami a while to find Luffy. She gone to the galley, her first guess, but found only Sanji cooking lunch. After a few minutes of fending off Sanji's eagerness to prepare her a snack, she made it out scot-free and headed towards the aquarium bar. No luck there either. She tried a few more places before she found Luffy at, in all places, the library.
Luffy didn't notice her when she entered the library. His legs crisscrossed in the air as he laid on his stomach. He was preoccupied with a book, coloring it with Usopp's markers.
"Watcha doing?" Nami asked casually as she approached him.
"Nothing," Luffy responded happily and then he sniggered secretly to himself.
"Want to go on a cruise ship with me?"
Luffy stopped and peered up from underneath his straw hat with a puzzled look. "Huh? What's a cruise ship?"
Nami drew a breath and explained patiently, "It's a ship that people travel on for fun and relaxation."
Luffy pushed up the brim of his straw hat. "A ship? Is it cooler than the Thousand Sunny?" He sounded skeptical.
"Well, no. It's not as cool, but it has lots of food for you to eat." Always appeal to his stomach if she wanted something from Luffy.
"Better food than what Sanji makes?" Again he sounded skeptical.
"Uh... I guess not," she answered slowly. She didn't want Luffy to think that she didn't think Sanji's cooking was the best. If it got back to Sanji, he would be inconsolable and no one liked a crying Sanji.
Luffy tilted his head, scratching his temple. "Why do you want to go on a cruise ship? We got a ship with lots of food. A cruise ship sounds boring," he whined.
Nami paused in shock. Luffy made a good point, a rare moment for him. It took her a few moments to recover and to think of a comeback. "It's got a spa and a swimming pool," she blurted. It wasn't much to add in favor of the cruise ship, but she was getting desperate.
Luffy gave her a flat look like she was the dumb one.
Nami squeezed her eyes closed and moaned inwardly. She could have palm-slapped herself. Oh yeah, how forgetful of her. Luffy was a hammer. He couldn't enjoy swimming as much as the non-Devil Fruit Users. He always needed a silly flotation device and he tired easily after a few laps.
Feeling sheepishly stupid, Nami left Luffy to his coloring and returned to her shoebox.
Another shake of the box and and another slip of paper.
Zoro.
Nami blew a raspberry. Zoro could be pig-headed and unreasonable. It was probably a waste of time to ask him, but she didn't know until she tried. Fortunately, she knew exactly where to find him and she climbed straight to the crow's nest.
Lifting weights and smelling icky and sweaty, Zoro didn't have to look to know who was entering his domain. "What do you want, woman?"
Nami bristled at the tone of his voice. To think, she was going to reduce his debt by one percent if he went with her. He won't get that now. He lost his chance. "Take me on a cruise ship," she demanded, her hands resting on her hips.
"Why?" he challenged. He was resisting, digging in his heels.
"I need someone to go with me. First 20 couples go free."
Zoro harrumphed. "I'm busy." He tossed his weights away and grabbed another pair of dumbbells. He placed one in his mouth and held the other in his left hand. To Nami amazement, he flipped upside-down and started doing one-arm handstand pushups. She stepped back a bit, afraid he might lose his balance and fall over.
"You can work out on the cruise ship. It has a fitness center. And bars. Lots of booze." Nami couldn't believe she had to play up the qualities of the cruise ship. Was it that hard to see? Any sane and normal person should know it was better than hanging around here, doing the same old thing, especially when it was free. He should be leaping at the chance to go with her.
For Zoro's benefit, Nami assumed she saw a momentary flicker of hesitation during his exercise as if he did have working braincells and was actually considering her brilliant idea. She waited, almost hopeful for his answer.
Zoro stopped and stared at her, his one eyebrow raised, or lowered depending on whose point of view. With the dumbbell still in his teeth, he said simply, "No, thanks."
Nami groaned and marched out. At least he was somewhat polite about it this time.
Back to her shoebox.
Grumbling angrily to herself, Nami shook it hard and long. Why was this so difficult? She slammed the shoebox on her dresser, stuck her hand inside and grabbed another slip of paper.
Sanji!
Nami burst out laughing. With Sanji, it was a piece of cake. Victory at last. Sure, there was a small problem. He might think it was some kind of a date and make a big deal out of it, but she didn't care at the moment. Finally someone who would go with her.
Working out a way to approach Sanji with the idea of the cruise ship without it sounding like it was a date, Nami hurried to the galley. Sanji wasn't surprised to see her and was prepared when she walked in. Like a whirlwind of black, he rushed over to her, one knee on the floor. He presented to her a tray with a drink on top like a sacrificial offering. It was a coconut milk smoothie with a dainty little strawberry clipped on the edge.
"A drink for my ocean goddess," Sanji said ecstatically.
Nami steadied herself and accepted it, taking a little sip through the straw. "Thank you, Sanji-kun." He was still kneeling in front of her, beaming at her. Little hearts were magically floating around him. How he did that, she still couldn't figure out.
Suddenly it seemed too much for Nami, the constant pampering and adoration. There was no way she could ask him. Even if he understood it wasn't a date, three days of only Sanji. What was she thinking?
"I think I'll drink this outside," she murmured. Slowly she backed away, smiling at him and fumbling blindly for the doorknob.
By poor luck, the brochure that she was carrying slipped from her possession and fell haphazardly to the floor. There was no way Sanji could have missed it and he dove upon it like it was a handkerchief tossed from a fair maiden. "Let me get that for you, Nami-san."
Nami gasped in horror. "That's nothing. Just trash. Throw it away." But it was too late.
Sanji stared stupidly at the brochure and silently mouthed the name of the cruise ship, his eyes turning as huge as saucers.
Nami sighed and gave up. For better or worse, might as well ask him. "I don't suppose you want to go with me," she mumbled.
Expecting a firework of hearts and an explosion of mellorines, Sanji stood quiet and still, his eyes transfixed on the brochure in his hands. Strangely, his complexion seemed to fade visibly away. He stayed like that for several minutes.
"Sanji-kun?" Nami asked. What was the matter with him? She poked him on the shoulder. There was no response from him.
"A cruise ship," Sanji whispered shakily.
"Yes, it's a cruise ship. Do you want to go with me? It's not a date!" Nami added in quickly.
Sanji held his breath and turned to look at her. He looked simply awful. Slowly, he opened his mouth and said, "I'm so-so sorry, Nami-san. Forgive me. I can't go."
Stunned, Nami had to shake her head to be sure she heard him correctly. "You can't go? Why?"
Getting up on his feet, he headed back to his stove. He seemed to be in a funny daze. "I have to clean the refrigerator today."
Clean the refrigerator. The words echoed in her mind. Nami couldn't believe it. Sanji had to clean the refrigerator. What was the world coming to? She could see what went wrong with Luffy and Zoro, but Sanji? Understandably he was strict and protective over his kitchen. It was his territory, his passion. He spent more time in the kitchen than anywhere else on the ship. So cleaning the refrigerator wasn't unreasonable. It came with the job as cook of the ship.
And while it wasn't necessarily true that Sanji did everything she asked, despite what Zoro grumbled and said behind Sanji's back, he wasn't her personal servant. Maybe 99.99% of time he did whatever she asked of him. He must have said no to her in the past. She couldn't recall those rare instances, but she was certain he did.
Right now, something was off, either with her or the world because Sanji just turned her down to clean the refrigerator. Clean the refrigerator!
Back in her quarters, Nami glared at the shoebox. Shot down three times. It seemed it was not in her future to go on that cruise ship. She grew calm about it, despite her tendency to blowup and beat the tar out of her crewmates.
The solution was easy and simple to her. She took the cardboard box, walked outside to the deck and chucked it overboard.