Hi, everyone! This is my very first fanfic. I am a huge-and I mean HUGE-fan of DNAngel, so that pretty much sums it up. Heh. Oh yeah... I don't really curse in real life, but since what you're reading right now isn't reality, expect a few.. well.
Title: When Fate Decides to Kick Your Ass
Category: Anime/Manga - DNAngel
Genre: Romantic Comedy - Yaoi/Shounen-ai or Boy Love
Rating: T - Beware...
Pairing/s: Dark and Krad, Satoshi and Daisuke
Summary: Dark Mousy is invincible... or so he claims. So when an artwork decides to go berserk, give him a damn body of his own, and leave him with a homicidal blonde clad in a golden ruffled dress just to ruin his life... he knew right there and then... that Krad of the Hikari was going to be the death of him.
Warning: Fangirl alert, Risa-bashing, perverted idiots, sadistic bastards, reluctant crossdressers, and an all-around insane authoress.
Perks: Cookies from the Dark Side. I said Dark Side, not Dark's side.
Disclaimer: I do not frickin' own DNAngel, the outfits - which shall come later, or the Tear. If I did, all hell would've broken loose.
PLEASE READ: Let's all just pretend that the final battle in the real story of DNAngel has never happened here. This story starts after the Freedert arc. Kei Hiwatari is still here and is still such a killjoy. Daisuke's crush on Riku faded here and didn't progress to that fateful kiss in the ending. Risa had created a fanclub for Dark. And Dark and Krad didn't disappear. Bottom line: this is just a fanfic. Be gentle. If you don't like the genre, then leave at once, you haters.
By the way, I've based this on the anime, so no Argentine or that director dude something. Whatever.
When Fate Decides to Kick Your Ass
Chapter 1: Just My Luck
"Outta the way! Move it! SEXY GUY COMING THROUGH!" A slender, young man with wild, violet locks shouted at the top of his lungs to pave the way for his one hell of a run.
The entire Police Force, out to catch the ever-elusive and invincible - self-proclaimed, by the way - Phantom Thief Dark, turned to where the voice had come from. They were sure to get Dark this time but they weren't exactly prepared to face this. After all, stampedes for 75% off-sales are normal but no one ever said anything about a pack of crazed fangirls out to kill just to have Dark Mousy, the sexiest flirt on the face of the planet...
Dark ran as fast as his legs could carry him. If he ever survives this, he swears to never show that charming, dazzling, killer smile of his. He's pretty brave but he's not exactly planning to die because a group of maniacally-insane girls flattened him to death. His oh-so-manly pride was far too valuable.
About a meter away, the pack of crazed fangirls led by none other than Crazy Fangirl # 1: Risa Harada, kept running on and on, all for the sake of their beloved Dark-sama who apparently had ran away the instant he saw his fans. In a flash, the police were flattened like dough while their young Commander managed to escape his doom. Apparently, being a police officer isn't all that fancy...
...
...
...
"WHAT ARE YOU ALL GAWKING AT, YOU MORONS? AFTER HIM!", yelled Inspector Saehara who was the first to recover after that embarrassing scene a while ago. Damn that thief if his own son saw how pathetic he was back there... He couldn't believe the thief had gotten past them head on! It was a whole, new thing... and it wasn't pretty. Afraid of the Inspector's wrath and probably Commander Hiwatari's as well, the officers scrambled up to chase the infamous Dark Mousy by following the trail of really crazed fangirls.
Meanwhile...
I told you to just go straight to the museum! But nooo, scolded Daisuke Niwa, tamer of the idiotic thief. You really had to make a stop at your crazy fanclub's hideout and-
Alright! Alright! Geez, I get it! You think I'm an idiot! , retorted said thief. Great... first, the girls, now this...
You are an idiot, Dark.
Hey!
Well, you did 'accidentally' show yourself to Harada-san and her league of loyal fans. , reminded Daisuke dryly.
But that was an accident! I had no idea that tree was a fake! Daisuke slapped his forehead. Seriously, what kind of an idiot would say something as lame as that?
Flashback from... a few minutes ago...
It was one of those nights:
The light of the moon becoming a temporary lampshade for those in the dark. The scent of crisp leaves wafting through the air. The crickets playing a lively tune in the silence. The plotting of a same-old trap to ensnare a handsome - ahem - thief by a creepy League of stupid Fangirls in their leader's mansion. And the spying of said worried thief with his equally worried tamer.
Dark cautiously crept nearer to the windows while trying to balance on top of the tree branch. He was supposed to be on his way to the museum for another heist where unfortunately, With had gotten mysteriously sick the day before and was too weak to transform, so the thief had to leave early for the long trek to his destination because Dark adamantly refused to use his real wings, but curiosity got the better of him when, as he was passing by the Harada Mansion, he heard a loud squeal.
Okay, make that 'squeals'.
He and Daisuke simultaneously had this sinking feeling about what might happen, but Dark, the brash one, decided to see for himself and Daisuke to prepare for the worst. Dark, no! We should just ignore them! You know how those girls can be, especially Harada-san! , said the rational redhead.
Aw, c'mon on, Dai-chan! For once in your life, be spontaneous! Who knows? If we eavesdrop on them, we might be able to escape them completely this time! Last time hadn't been pleasant for the purple-haired angel, to say the least. Who knew those girls could be so creative in chasing him?
Daisuke reluctantly had to agree that Dark had a point. Silently, the thief hid up a tree closest to the living room windows. He strained to hear the words coming out from a certain brunette.
"Alright! Now, here's the latest plan! We form three groups; the first will chase Dark-san into the museum's garden, the second will distract the police so they won't follow Dark-san and the first group, and lastly, the third will set up the trap and wait in the garden's entrance." , said Risa Harada, the younger one between the Harada twins, Daisuke and, surprisingly also Dark's former crush, and the founder of the League of Loyal Dark Fans.
The League, which consisted of every young girl in Azumano, cheered and praised Risa for the brilliant and foolproof plan. Dark, on the other hand, simply gawked at the stupidity of said plan while his young tamer just sweatdropped at the enthusiasm of the group on the idea of making his idiotic alter-ego their poor prisoner.
That's it? That's their plan? ... This would be a lot easier than I thought. , the thief mused.
Don't be so smug just yet, Dark. Their plan last time was simple and easy to avoid, too, but they had almost caught you! Good thing we ran into Sato-H-Hiwatari-kun! At this, Dark couldn't help but tease.
Oh yeah... good thing Sato-chan came to your rescue! The Phantom Thief inwardly laughed harder as his master's cheeks turned into a nice shade of red. I-I'M NOT GAY!
There was utter silence until Dark couldn't hold it any longer. He laughed out loud at the redhead's sudden declaration of him denying his homosexuality. Daisuke turned even redder as he realized the gravity of his comment. Unfortunately though...
A snap sounded through the once-silent backyard as Dark realized that the branch hadn't been able to hold his weight long enough. As he looked at his feet before he felt the wind rush against him, he noticed a long piece of duct tape wrapped at the part of the branch where the crack was. Dark couldn't believe what he was seeing. Apparently, someone tried to fix a tree branch by using duct tape. Wow.
How you ever managed to luckily choose this unlucky branch is way beyond me. , said Daisuke, doing a face palm.
"Ow!", said the violet-haired thief, rubbing his behind which had landed first from his 'branch fiasco'. Suddenly, a chorus of high-pitched squeals reached his ears. He looked up and saw... that his cover had been blown.
Oh. Damn.
It was nice knowing you, Dark.
"DARK-SAN!" That's the cue. The Phantom Thief immediately stood up and started his one hell of a run.
Yep, it was one of those nights, alright.
End Flashback...
Oh yeah. Totally lame., Daisuke thought. Dark should really just tell the truth and say that he wasn't an idiot but the biggest joke of a thief. It'll probably be true anyway, what will all the slip-ups lately. Wait a minute...
Um, Da-
"Dark-san!" Risa, the leader of the crazed fangirls, squealed as she tried to grab anything that was sticking out of the purple-haired man. Somehow, they had been able to gain a few steps while stupid Dark was busy proving that he wasn't stupid. "HOLY HECK!", screamed the annoying pervert, instantly building up speed which he never knew was there. Will wonders never cease when this guy's involved?
Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap!
Dark, hurry!
WhatdoIdoWhatdoIdoWhatdoIdo? The girls were getting closer.
We're gonna die any second now, Dark... Daisuke started to panicked. Well, who wouldn't?
WE'REGONNADIEWE'REGONNADIEWE'REGONNADIE! The redhead had no choice but to mentally slap his forehead once again.
JUST RUN, YOU IDIOT, RUN!
"Dark-san! I missed you!", said the younger Harada. This was it! Finally, her dreams of a happily-ever-after with Dark-sama, the hottest and coolest (A/N: Is that even possible?) guy to her eyes, were coming true! Now all she needs to do is to reach out to him wearing her heart out on her sleeve... aww... All thoughts of brilliant and foolproof plans had been thrown out the window as soon as their Dark-sama had appeared. The League of Loyal Dark Fans, on the other hand, love Dark-sama as well but would rather let their beautiful (A/N: and clueless...) president be with him, all agreeing that Risa-sama and Dark-sama belonged together... forever...
*Cue lovey-dovey-flying-hearts-and-sounds-of-swooning-and-sighing-and-whatever-other-sickeningly-romantic-stuff-everywhere background*
Dark paled. Oh hell, he saw that. Those looks that practically screamed 'I wanna marry you!' at every angle. This was bad. Sure, he loves the attention and the swoons he receives for every sighting (A/N: ...of himself, of course...) but not when it looks like it could choke him to death...
We really are gonna die, aren't we, Dai-chan?
My, aren't you such a positive thinker?
"Well, this is interesting.", said Satoshi Hiwatari, commander of the practically pathetic Azumano cops, while scanning his surroundings. He had concluded that if Dark was to get away from the horde of girls, he would probably try to lose them outside the museum, preferably the yard next to it, and away from the police before attempting to steal one of the Hikaris' works.
What is? Your sexual orientation?, chided Krad, his unfortunately-not-so-practically-pathetic curse.
What about my sexual orientation?
Oh come on... everyone knows you're gay.
... Goodbye, Krad...
Ok, maybe not everyone... just me...
Goodbye, Krad..., came out his monotonous reply.
Fine, fine. I'll stop. For now...
I heard that.
So, what were you saying, Satoshi-sama?, said Krad, trying to change the subject.
Nothing. Just this whole night being interesting.
Interesting? You think that pervert of an idiot is interesting? Krad almost choked at the thought of that stupidly grinning thief.
I wasn't talking about Dark, Krad. I was talking about the night., said Satoshi exasperatedly. Sometimes, it was hard to break beliefs. But good thing it's easier to break bones.
Yeah, sure. And the fact that your little Niwa brat's got some sexy thighs underneath all that leather has nothing to do with it?, Krad said with all his arrogant self. It's easier to blackmail people, too.
...
...
... Shut up, Krad.
Krad just rolled his eyes. Tch. Boys in love with boys. What is this stupid world coming to?
When Satoshi had turned towards the back entrance of the museum, the 'stupid world' his curse had been referring to was running straight towards him.
"MERCIFUL JESUS!", screamed one Dark Mousy.
"DARK-SAMA!", screamed his annoying fans.
Well, if there's one thing they all have in common, it's that they're all calling out a god., thought Satoshi, one brow quirking.
They're all going to try and flatten us to death, as well., stated Krad.
The commander was going to reply when suddenly, he felt a familiar pain stab through his body. Krad! Don't!, he tried desperately, getting weaker and feeling his control slip as his alter-ego forces himself out.
Now, now, Satoshi-sama. It's time for work.
Dark pulled out a black feather and quickly chanted a spell. Immediately, a large black wall emerged behind him, successfully blocking the crazed fangirls' path. Better hurry, Dark! That wall won't last long!
You think I don't know that? Smirking victoriously though, Dark looked back as a collective groan was heard. "Ha! See ya, suckers!"
And turned to where he was heading. An evilly-grinning pale, blonde girl clad in white...
THAT'S NOT A GIRL! THAT'S-
"ACK! KRAD!" Dark barely had time to put up a barrier before said blonde's innocently-looking white feather had managed to blast him to smithereens.
Krad scoffed. "Still as stupid as ever."
"Hey! What is it with you guys calling me stupid lately?", Dark said, clearly annoyed, while dusting himself off.
"Well, let's see..." The white angel suddenly dashed forward with another feather in hand. He lunged at the thief, but Dark managed to dodge the attack. "First, you were stupid enough to let stupid females chase after you."
"Pfft. Not my fault you're ugly." The violet-haired youth said with mock indifference, stifling his laughter at said Ugly's annoyed-but-cute reaction.
Krad slightly twitched, trying to ignore the insult. How dare he say that he wasn't attractive! He was a creation of the famed Hikari family, goddamnit! No pathetic excuse for a living being can call him ugly and weak and live to tell the tale. He could make the pervert eat his words later, but right now, he was so not going to be distracted. This time. "Second, you were also stupid enough to let them chase you during a heist when your familiar seems to be missing."
The blonde formed an energy ball in his hands and aimed at his counterpart, slightly smirking when it hit Dark's right shoulder. "Ow! Careful with that!", pouted Dark, rubbing his aching flesh.
"And last, you were still stupid enough to lose them but run across me..." With that, he brandished a feral grin, and took to the air. "... and you haven't even stolen the Tear of Emanon yet!" He formed another ball of light when out of nowhere, the idiotic thief laughed.
"What the hell is so funny?", said Krad, pausing in mid-air and narrowing his eyes. The stupid thief just laughed and laughed. At him, no doubt. Oh yeah... Dark Mousy was definitely going to eat his words...
"Oh..." Dark tried to calm down. "... did you mean... this baby?" He then opened his hand to reveal a large, tear-shaped sapphire with a golden frame.
"WHAT THE-? HOW THE HELL DID YOU-?"
With, interrupted Satoshi. Calmly.
What?, snapped Krad. Then suddenly, he noticed a white furball sticking out of the thief's head. It was then that The Great With, partner-in-crime of The Great Perverted Idiot, decided to make his entrance. "Kyuu!" Dark just grinned. Krad just twitched even more.
So, wait, With was the one who stole the jewel? I thought he was sick!, asked Daisuke bewilderedly.
Nah, it was all just a part of the plan! Who's stupid now? Dark mentally did a victory pose.
But hang on... aren't YOU supposed to be stealing it?
... Who cares?, blurted Dark, raising one eyebrow.
The redhead slapped his forehead. You're the thief here, Dark! Not With!
... Oh right. The Niwa heir could only sigh.
On the other hand...
Stupid Mousy...
I can't say that what he did was stupid or idiotic, in fact, it was quite clever., said Satoshi, adjusting his glasses.
Oh shut up, Satoshi-sama., growled the blonde angel.
Just admit that he got you good. Again.
NO, HE DIDN'T! IT WAS THAT STUPID GIANT MARSHMALLOW GROWING OUT OF HIS HEAD!
... Right. The young Hikari simply agreed in a deadpan way and mentally noted his curse's apparent abhorrence of marshmallows and stupid heads. Seems like he might be in a hell of a Valentine's Day again...
"Well, this has really been fun so..." With immediately bonded with Dark's back, turning into a pair of black wings. "... See ya around, Kraddie!"
"Hey! We're not finished yet, Mousy! AND WILL YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT?"
The violet-haired youth simply flashed his signature grin, enjoying the blonde girl - I mean - man's annoyed look. Krad was about to tackle him when suddenly, a bluish burst of light blinded him. "What-? Mousy!"
"Hey! What's going on?", asked Dark. He squinted, protecting his eyes from the harsh light. It was then that he realized that it was the jewel in his hand that was producing said light.
The Tear? But why?, asked Daisuke.
I'm not sure... unless... Dark scanned his surroundings, spotting his counterpart shielding his face, oblivious to a blue veil of magically-floating, unfamiliar words slowly wrapping around his form. He then noticed he was being surrounded by the same floating symbols as well. Wait a minute... The thief tensed. Oh no... dammit!
Daisuke, hang on!
Huh?
"KRAD! LOOK OUT!"
Dark threw away the sapphire, grabbed the blonde's waist and took to the air, ignoring the latter's protests. A second later, an explosion of blue light filled the yard of the museum. Dark kept flying upwards, trying to escape the shards of the explosion, but since he was carrying his counterpart and gravity was against them, they hadn't managed to protect themselves quickly. Krad saw the sudden explosion down the museum, and realized that they won't be able to get away unscathed. His thoughts were confirmed as a wave of light managed to touch Dark's feet, momentarily suspending them in the sky. That single touch penetrated both angels and wracked their nerves as a veil of blue engulfed them, then suddenly shattered into dust.
Krad didn't feel any other pain but shock coursing through his veins. He felt weak and dizzy, concluding that his other half had felt the same as well, when he was in mid-air one second, and then started free-falling down the next.
DARK!
KRAD!
WAKE UP! , screamed two young tamers.
Weakness, numbness and darkness quickly enveloped both angels as they came crashing down into oblivion...
To be continued...
Hey look... my first cliffhanger. Awesome. Anyway, my notes:
1) For Dark and Dai's telepathic conversations, I used bold and italics. For Krad and Sato's, bold only.
2) When in flashbacks, Dark and Dai's and Krad and Sato's telepathic messages are switched. Bold only for the former and bold and italics for the latter.
3) Only the League of Loyal Dark Fans would think of subtly fixing a broken branch with duct tape. Well, I think it's funny, so sue me.
4) I have no idea as to why I put notes in the fangirls-chasing-Dark part... must be because I'm starting to love Risa-bashing. :D
5) Yes, Ace Attorney fans. That is the same Tear of Emanon from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations ep. 3: Stolen Turnabout. As I've said, I do not own it, only its power. And yes, I'm an huge fan myself. ;)
6) In reference to 'Satoshi's one hell of a Valentine's Day', I'm planning on doing a one-shot Valentines special. And yes, marshmallows and stupid heads are included.
7) Last but not the least, a big shout-out to my idol here: DeadRat309! I LOVE YOU, MAN!... ahem... Chapter 2 is on its way.
Wanna review? Ok then. Wanna flame me? Fine. I've got a marshmallow and I'm not afraid to use it.