Title: Giving
Author: PNs*
Summary: Anya explains why she died.
Well, Mr Xander Harris. Who'd have thought I would have ended up dead before you? If I had been asked the question even days ago I would have said you for sure. What with your eye and all. Amazing it didn't affect your brain functions, but you never did have much going on there...Don't get me wrong. I loved the fact that you're simple, and easy going. We complemented each other. I know I wasn't the easiest person to get along with.
Then something changed. It changed that night, when we had that crazy break up sex. You with one eye and everything. In the quiet lull of our love making I realized how much you cared about every single person in that house. Enough to lose your eye. And I wanted to be like you. I realized how selfish I'd been till then. I'd seen Buffy die for her sister. The greatest gift you can give someone is your life and I knew that if I had to give mine that I would be okay with it, like you are. Do you see what you give to the world Xander? The inspiration. Maybe no one noticed you in the background, with that awe inspiring loyalty, but I did. And it gave me the courage to give up my life, to let go of a thousand years of fear.
I know you may resent Andrew, wonder why I gave myself up to protect him. But it's not about who you save, it's about the act of saving. About making the ultimate choice. You showed me that, I saw it in your popped eye. So don't be sad Xander, when you see my body, when you spend the nights alone, scared, lost in the wake of what has happened to you. I want to share a secret with you.
Death isn't so bad. In fact it's kinda nice. Peaceful. And here I understand some things. I understand that I'll wait for you. Loving you still, from here. I never hated you, in my deepest heart. If you don't mind, I'll always Be Mrs Xander Harris...Well, goodbye, Mr Xander Harris. See you someday, on the other side.
Author: PNs*
Summary: Anya explains why she died.
Well, Mr Xander Harris. Who'd have thought I would have ended up dead before you? If I had been asked the question even days ago I would have said you for sure. What with your eye and all. Amazing it didn't affect your brain functions, but you never did have much going on there...Don't get me wrong. I loved the fact that you're simple, and easy going. We complemented each other. I know I wasn't the easiest person to get along with.
Then something changed. It changed that night, when we had that crazy break up sex. You with one eye and everything. In the quiet lull of our love making I realized how much you cared about every single person in that house. Enough to lose your eye. And I wanted to be like you. I realized how selfish I'd been till then. I'd seen Buffy die for her sister. The greatest gift you can give someone is your life and I knew that if I had to give mine that I would be okay with it, like you are. Do you see what you give to the world Xander? The inspiration. Maybe no one noticed you in the background, with that awe inspiring loyalty, but I did. And it gave me the courage to give up my life, to let go of a thousand years of fear.
I know you may resent Andrew, wonder why I gave myself up to protect him. But it's not about who you save, it's about the act of saving. About making the ultimate choice. You showed me that, I saw it in your popped eye. So don't be sad Xander, when you see my body, when you spend the nights alone, scared, lost in the wake of what has happened to you. I want to share a secret with you.
Death isn't so bad. In fact it's kinda nice. Peaceful. And here I understand some things. I understand that I'll wait for you. Loving you still, from here. I never hated you, in my deepest heart. If you don't mind, I'll always Be Mrs Xander Harris...Well, goodbye, Mr Xander Harris. See you someday, on the other side.