DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. If I DID, however, Kakashi would get drunk and take off his mask.
Yeah, so this story takes place where the first one left off, so make sure you read "Goodnight Gaara" first.
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"God, why me?!" asked Kankuro as he slammed his head into his pillow.
"Yeah, so I'm gonna go brush my teeth, then I'm gonna go eat breakfast, then I'm gonna go stop by Konoha, then I'm gonna continue Kazekage-ing!" smiled Gaara as he walked into the bathroom.
"Gaara, wait!" shouted Kankuro, "I have to teach you how to-"
"AHHH!! OH GOD I'M DYING SOMEONE HELP ME!! ASSASINATION ATTEMPT!! THIS BRUSH STICK TRIED TO KILL ME!!"
"...Brush your teeth..."
10 minutes later...
"So Gaara," said Kankuro, "This is an electric toothbrush."
"AHHH!!" shouted Gaara as he hid behind a towel, "Watch out, that thing tried to kill me!!"
Then Kankuro turned on the electric toothbrush.
"NOW IT'S TRYING TO KILL YOU!!"
And Kankuro turned it off.
"Kankuro, is that a puppet? You seem to be able to control it!" said Gaara.
"Common sense, Gaara. Common sense. Now come here and let me brush your teeth."
"Okay..." said Gaara as he slowly walked over to Kankuro.
"Now stay still..." he said as he put the bristles on Gaara's teeth, causing the Kazekage to sweat.
Then Kankuro turned it on.
"AHHHH!! YOU TRAITOR!! YOU TRIED TO ASSASINATE THE KAZEKAGE!!" shouted Gaara as he backed up from Kankuro.
"Hmm...I'll have to take drastic measures..."
20 minutes later...
Kankuro was brushing Gaara's teeth, and Gaara was perfectly fine with it...
...because Karasu was holding him in place.
"All done!" said Kankuro as he turned off the toothbrush. "Now was that so hard?"
"...Not..so...bad...Well, I'm gonna go have breakfast!" said Gaara as he tried to walk, but Karasu was still on him.
"Get your hands off me, woman!" said Gaara as he slapped Karasu off of him.
"Gaara, you have to get dressed first!"
36 minutes later...
After much hustle and bustle, Gaara and Kankuro were finally dressed and were headed to the kitchen, where Temari was making breakfast.
"Hello my blonde, loveably,loveable sister!" said Gaara as he hugged Temari.
"Hey, how did you two sleep?"
"It was fun!" said Gaara.
Kankuro looked like he was about to cry.
"What, did you get kicked in the nuts or something?" asked Temari.
"No...but I DO remember hearing your...midnight snack..." said Kankuro.
"Oh damn it, I knew I shouldn't have went for the potato chips...stupid cravings..."
"No...I mean you're other midnight snack."
Then Temari froze.
"I don't get it, what are you guy talking about?" asked Gaara.
"Don't you remember what you saw last night in Temari's room?" asked Kankuro.
"You mean her Teddy bear collection?"
"Think harder."
"...Oh!...Oooooohhhh...Yeah." realized Gaara.
Then Temari started twitching.
"Anyway, what's for breakfast?" asked Gaara.
"Well, sleeping for the first time is a big accomplishment, so I made you're favorite!" said Temari, coming out of her coma.
"What's that again? I forgot." asked Gaara.
"Salted tongue and gizzard." (A:N/ Check that data book, that IS Gaara's favorite food.)
"...Ewww." said Kankuro.
"I think It's time I got a new favorite food..."
"Well...what DO you want?" asked Temari.
"...PANCAKES!!" shouted Gaara.
"...You hate Pancakes." said Kankuro.
"Shut it sister, I want some pancakes, and I want em' now!" said Gaara.
45 minutes later...
Gaara had a few empty plates in front of him, and was currently demolishing a stack of pancakes.
"Damn...I never knew he could eat so much..." said Kankuro, not paying attention and drowning his pancakes in syrup.
Temari couldn't even move.
"Pass the whipped cream, please." said Gaara with his mouth full.
Kankuro passed the whipped cream over, and watched Gaara spray it all over the pancakes, all while still eating it.
"Gaara...are you-"
"Man, that was good!" said Gaara, as he got up and put his dishes in the sink, which was filled with even more empty plates. "Now, we have to go over to Konoha to get that contract signed."
"Uhhh...got it..." said Kankuro as him and Gaara walked out.
As soon as they were gone, Temari went out of her trance.
"It's okay to come out now!" she said.
"Damn, Gaara can eat!" said Shikamaru, coming out of a closet.
"Just shut up and let's go upstairs." said Temari as she pushed Shikamaru upstairs.
And hour and a half later...
Kankuro and Gaara were right outside the gates of Konoha.
"Well, to the Hokage's office!" shouted Gaara as he ran a bee-line to the Hokage's Mansion.
"...I never knew Gaara could run so fast..." said Kankuro as he started walking.
5 minutes later...
"Ok, I'm here..." said Kankuro, walking up the the Hokage's Mansion.
"It's about time! I've been waiting for HOURS!" said Gaara, as they walked up the Genma, who has guarding the entrance.
"Identification please." He said in his regular, boring voice.
"KAZEKAGE-SLAP, BITCH!" shouted Gaara as he pimp-slapped Genma out cold.
"Damn Gaara, that was pretty loud..."
"What, you want one too?" asked Gaara.
Then Kankuro shut up.
Then people stared at them as they walked up to Tsunade's office. When they got there, they were greeted by Shizune.
"Kazekage-sama, I'm telling you, it's not a pretty sight in there...please don't go in!
"KAZEKAGE-SLAP, BITCH!" shouted Gaara as he pimp-slapped Shizune, like he did to Genma.
"We should declare that a forbidden jutsu once we get back to the Sand Village." said Kankuro.
Then they went into Tsunade's Office.
Tsunade was piss drunk at her desk with a few sake bottles around her.
"Huuh? Whaddya want?" she slurred.
"Tsunade, we must get this contract into action-"
"Eh, screw you, mother fucker!" slurred Tsunade as he stood up.
"OH MY GOD!!" shouted Kankuro as he covered his eyes.
"Holy Shit!" shouted Gaara as he shielded himself with sand.
Tsunade wasn't wearing any pants or underwear.
"Hey guys-Holy mother of God that thing is hairy!" said Jiraiya as he walked into the room. "Hey Naruto, come get a load of this!"
"What is it, Pervy Sage?" asked Naruto as he came in.
"Look."
"Holy diet miso ramen!"
"Whaaat? You guys like what you see?"
"Granny, shave that thing! You're killing all the birds!"
"That thing hasn't seen action in decades." said Jiraiya.
Then Tsunade collapsed back into her chair.
"Hey." said Jiraiya, knocking on Gaara's sand shield, "The horror's over."
"Thank God." said Gaara, retracting his shield.
"Finally..." said Kankuro, taking his hands away from his eyes.
"Hey Gaara!" said Naruto.
"WASSUP?!" shouted Gaara.
"WASSUUP??" shouted Naruto.
"WASSUUUP?!" shouted Kankuro.
"WASSUUUUP?!" shouted Jiraiya.
"WASSUUUUUP?!" they all shouted.
"Well, It doesn't look like we'll ever get that bill signed..." said Kankuro.
"Speaking of which..." said Jiraiya, "Naruto, do you still have that plastic bag with that green stuff in it?"
"Yeah." Said Naruto, holding up the bag. "What is this stuff anyway?"
5 hours later...
The entire office was filled with smoke.
"Man...My hands...they're HUGE!" said Naruto, looking at his hands, with a joint in his mouth.
"Jiraiya-sama...this is some gooooood shit..." said Kankuro, smoking a bong.
"Somebody...somebody tell me this is Konoha..." said Gaara, also with a joint in his mouth.
"This is Konoha." said Jiraiya, smoking a blunt. "This is Konoha alright."
"Best weed grows in Konoha, amirite?" asked Naruto.
"Foo' you bet yo ass you rite." site Kankuro, before passing out.
"Shit man, I'm so stoned..." said Gaara, also passing out.
"Y'all can't hold y'all weed." said Jiraiya, outing his blunt and passing out.
"Sakura, that you bitch?" asked Naruto, before he too, passed out.
2 hours later...
"Holy...man, I feel good..." said Gaara, waking up.
"You'll good when you're arrested for possession of Marijuana!" said Tsunade, back to herself, and wearing pants.
"No I won't, we made you legalize Marijuana while you were drunk!" said Kankuro, also waking up.
"You did? Well, shit." said Tsunade as she lit Jiraiya's blunt and started to smoke it.
"So...we spent most of the day getting high, what do we do now?" asked Kankuro.
"SLEEPOVER!!" shouted Gaara.
Then Kankuro picked up his bong. "Alright, now I'm ready."
4 hours later...
Kankuro was sound asleep, something he needed.
Then Gaara crept up close to Kankuro and whispered something in his ear.
"..Kankuro, could you do me a favor?"