Title: The Quintessential Human Delusion

By: Ravenna

Summary: Neo's in a coma. The prophecy is a lie. They've lost the Neb. Have they lost all hope as well?

Category: Drama

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: This takes place shortly after the end of Reloaded, so if you haven't seen it… Bah. What am I thinking? Who hasn't seen it? Also, while I haven't played Enter the Matrix, I read Alina's transcript to get the gist and have incorporated bits of the end of that here as well. With the exception of a snippet of conversation between Maggie and Trinity from a behind the scenes take, there's nothing from Revolutions that you can't get from the trailers (because it's not out yet).

A/N: I wrote this to keep my mind occupied while waiting for Revs to come out. It explores how Trinity and Morpheus might be coping after Reloaded and will end before they go to see the Oracle. HUGE thanks to Ovo from The Hardline (www.constructfic.org) for being my beta!

Disclaimer: As much as I wish they did, these characters do not belong to me.

Enjoy…

The Quintessential Human Delusion

Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion - simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness. ~~ The Architect

*****

TRINITY

You look relaxed, she tells him silently, finding a touch of much needed comfort in that observation. More than I've seen you in some time.

Her eyelids heavy with worry and fatigue, she moves her gaze from his face to his chest, watching as it rises and falls with a soothing regularity. If there wasn't so much going on inside her heart and head, she's certain that the steady rhythm of his breathing would have lulled her to sleep long ago.

Unlike his seemingly easy breaths however, her own have a measure of pain to them. In addition to the faint, generalized soreness that her recent foray into the Matrix has left her with, the heavy, clenching ache that seized her chest as she watched Neo collapse has yet to leave her.

In the instant she saw him fall, she feared she lost him forever. Sitting here in the Hammer's infirmary, she still isn't sure that's not the case.

The tears would come if she'd let them. Yet even now, with her own death and resurrection and the loss of the Nebuchadnezzar still fresh in her memory, they remain locked away deep inside. Even now, with Neo in this state, with the destruction of Zion an all but absolute certainty, she refuses that particular release. Allowing the tears to reach her eyes would likely lead to an uncontrollable deluge and, with most everything else out of her control right now, she is neither willing nor capable of enduring that experience as well. Instead, she sits dry-eyed, holding his hand lightly in her own, wanting so much to believe that he can somehow sense he is not alone.

"Can you feel this?" she asks in a voice just above a whisper, gently squeezing his hand. Do you even know I'm here, Neo?

Out of the corner of her eye, she swears she detects the tiniest of movements near his lips. It wasn't even enough to be considered a twitch, but it was something. Wasn't it?

You do know, don't you?

She squeezes his hand again, straining her already tired eyes as she searches his face for a reaction.

"Come on, wake up," she quietly commands. Come back from wherever you are. Open those beautiful brown eyes and come back.

"Please."

But she sees no movement. She gets no response.

Her pale blue eyes land on the thin wires that are now an unnatural part of his visage. Tracing them to the nearby monitor, she scrutinizes the data, looking for changes. But she sees none.

She closes her eyes, struck with the understanding that whatever she thought she saw was never really there. It was simply a lie told by her weary mind. It shouldn't surprise her, really. Though it has only been a short time, she feels like she has been sitting here forever.

Sitting.

Watching.

Waiting.

Why? For what?

Opening her eyes, she studies the contours of his face, exploring lines and curves she committed to memory long ago.

What am I waiting for, Neo? For you to wake? For the answers to come? For this life - our life - to end?

As he has countless other times she's watched him sleep, he looks innocent and vulnerable to her. Perhaps that is one of the reasons she has not been able to bring herself to leave him - because by being here, she can at least be sure he is safe. Even now she cannot stop herself from needing to protect him.

She shifts her gaze to the table nearby. Though her thoughts and attention have been focused on Neo, she has not forgotten about the unconscious man resting mere inches away from him.

She only half-heard Maggie's explanation about how they found Bane - this man she knows only vaguely as a member of Ballard's crew, this man who went out of his way to wish Neo luck before he went to the Oracle - but she heard enough that her instincts have warned her that something about him isn't right.

Looking at him now, she can't help but think of Cypher and the resulting images in her head spark her already simmering anger to boil up and mix with her despair and worry. The combination courses through her until her hold on Neo's hand tightens to a degree that if conscious, he would undoubtedly cry out in pain. Once aware of it, she forces her hand to relax and tries to shove the emotion down. But even using methods she learned from Morpheus and Ghost long ago, it takes her an unusually long few minutes to rein it all in.

Her eyes drift back to Neo and she runs her thumb over his hand as if to soothe away whatever pain her vise-like grip could have caused him. Then, taking a deep breath, she tries to refocus her thoughts.

I wish I could understand what's happening, Neo, she says, continuing her silent, one-sided conversation. I wish…

She shakes her head. So much has happened in the last forty-eight hours. She has been spending part of these long, quiet minutes attempting to make sense of it all, but there are pieces missing. Pieces she knows only Neo can provide.

While remaining understandably uncertain about exactly how to fulfill his role as the One, Neo has at least come to accept that it is indeed his role to fulfill. He has even been openly excited about it at times, sharing Morpheus' enthusiasm every time he discovered a new skill. But, while he hasn't complained, she knows that the responsibility and burden that being the One entails has quietly been taking its toll on him.

Sometimes she has wondered if it is just her imagination. After all, Morpheus has been spending countless hours with Neo and if he noticed anything beyond Neo's apparent eagerness, he hasn't said anything to her. She, on the other hand, has noticed subtle changes that have troubled her and there have been moments she has found herself wanting nothing more than to take the pressure away from him.

It seems to have begun with his last trip to the Oracle.

No, she corrects herself, It started long before that, didn't it, Neo? The problems sleeping, the dreams, the tension...

As far as she can tell, he has been able to keep his disquiet from the others, but his façade has appeared to falter when he thought no one was looking. And, whether he knew it or not, she was always looking, always aware.

She couldn't help it if she wanted to. It's like an instinctive need that began developing during the hours she spent watching him before his unplugging, a need that has only grown since admitting to herself - and to him - that she loves him.

She had asked him what was bothering him on more than on occasion, but he hadn't been ready to share, and she respected him too much to force the issue. They are similar in that way and she knew he would share it with her when he was ready.

It wasn't until those quiet moments after making love in Zion, when the fear and anxiety in his eyes had been so deep it made her hurt for him, that he finally gave her an uncensored glimpse of it. And she's sure now that what she saw then was only the tip of the iceberg.

The weight from what he was carrying with him only seemed to intensify after he saw the Oracle. She noticed it almost immediately after removing the data spike from his plug. He quickly told them about Smith and then, knowing Morpheus was eager to hear what the Oracle had to say, immediately launched into an explanation about the Keymaker.

But there had been more, she is certain of it. It was as though the man who essentially bore the weight of the world on his narrow shoulders had suddenly begun to show faint signs of being crushed beneath it. And it worried her more than she admitted to herself at the time.

What was it, Neo? What did she say that worried you so much? She takes a moment to consider it further. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it was rooted more in your battle with Smith.

Not Smith, she reminds herself. Smiths.

She frowns. While still unable to comprehend the how's and why's of that particular development, her gut tells her it wasn't his encounter with Smith that affected Neo so deeply.

No. It may not have helped, but that wasn't it, was it?

Yet before she had the chance to speak with him alone about it, they were jacking into the Matrix, embarking on their quest to find the Keymaker. Then, almost immediately after completing that mission, the crews of the Vigilant and the Logos had joined them, ready to offer their lives to help Neo reach the Source.

She stood next to Neo then, listening intently as the Keymaker revealed what needed to be done, feeling as confident and as full of hope as Morpheus.

How I wish I could feel that now, Neo.

It was only after that gathering, in the all too brief moments between planning the mission and jacking back into the Matrix, that there had been a brief lull in the action. Once the details had been finalized, Neo had immediately gone off alone. She sensed he needed the time to himself and willingly gave it to him, but as midnight grew closer, the need to be near him intensified. When she finally entered their cramped and sparse quarters, she was greeted by a man she could only describe as tortured.

It was then that she sat down next to him and, her heart reaching out to his, quietly let him know he was not alone.

It was then that he asked her to stay behind.

The soldier in her rebelled the instant she heard him utter the words, but she recognized the look in his eyes as he silently pleaded with her to agree. It was the same look she saw in them that night in Zion, when he almost desperately declared that he couldn't lose her. And so her decision was made. If it would somehow take that fear and anxiety away, she could not deny him.

It wasn't until she was jacked in, looking into his eyes for what she thought would be the final time, that she truly understood: In his dreams, Neo had foreseen her death in the Matrix.

She raises his hand to her face and leans her cheek against his palm.

But that still wasn't everything was it, Neo? That wasn't the only thing worrying you.

At first, part of her thought it was that premonition that had been the problem the whole time. Now she recognizes that perhaps it wasn't completely responsible. Because of him, she jacked out of the Matrix alive. Yet in the moments following their exit, his underlying apprehension remained and if anything, had intensified.

There hadn't been a chance to fully process that particular realization, as time proved once again that it was not her ally.

One moment, they were listening to his declaration that the prophecy was a lie, the next… The next, the sentinels came. Then the Neb was gone. And finally, Neo collapsed.

What happened when you went through that portal, Neo? What happened when you reached the Source? she wonders. Those questions lead to another. Did you even make it that far?

She closes her eyes. Is it possible he had sensed what was happening to her and turned back before he made it to the Source? She doesn't know. She just doesn't know.

Who told you the prophecy is a lie? She releases a sigh of frustration. And why have we been led to believe in a prophecy that was never meant to be fulfilled?

I have so many questions, Neo. Questions, but no answers.

But there had been no time for questions or answers.

There had been no time to revel in the fact that he had just done for her what she had once done for him.

There had been no time…

Forcing her heavy eyelids open, she gazes at his face again, a face just as beautiful in its quiet vulnerability as it is in its fierce determination. She stays like that for some time, painfully aware of the ache in her chest as she matches each of his breaths with one of her own, until finally, another set of questions finds its way into her heart.

What else have you seen in your dreams, Neo? Did you see this coming? Did you see the end?

Gently kissing the back of his hand, she lowers it back to his side without breaking her hold on it. Her gaze rests on this simple union between them, allowing her to once again see how perfectly they fit together.

Together.

She presses her lips into a tight line. Together, they had hoped to end the war. Together, they had hoped for a better future.

What of hope now, Neo? she wonders bitterly, the ache in her chest flaring. What hope do we have when the prophecy is a lie? What hope do we have of winning much less surviving? For the love of Zion, how could we have been so naïve to believe...

"Stop it, Trinity," she whispers harshly to herself. But the emotions don't cease churning at her command. Instead, they seem to magnify - which, in turn, fuels her frustration.

She shakes her head, detesting these feelings of helplessness and uncertainty. She almost feels…

"Lost." The word escapes over her lips in a faint whisper.

A distantly familiar feeling, it is one she thought she was rid of long ago. She felt it before Morpheus unplugged her, before he took her under his wing and taught her about the real world. She felt it before she accepted this life. She felt it before she became a soldier in this war - one with direction and purpose.

But now…

Now a quarter of a million machines are closing in on Zion, bent on annihilating it. And there is nothing she can do to stop them.

Now the prophecy of the One appears to be nothing more than another method of manipulation.

Now the man she loves lies before her, trapped in a place she isn't sure how to retrieve him from.

Her heart heavy, her back and body aching, she raises her eyes to the ceiling.

What do I do now?