Hell. That's all he could think about. That's all his life was. Hell. No matter where he went, he was alone and tired. Tired of his life, tired of having to pretend that he liked his life. He was a ghost amongst the living. He would contemplate his life, whether it was just easier to end it all, or to suffer through hell for the rest of it. Even Hogwarts no longer held the same sense of calm and enjoyment like it use to. He would find himself, at night, alone and sitting against a wall in an unused hallway.
Days would go bye, before he would be seen or heard from. He would just sit and watch the shadows play against the wall.
"This is my life." He said; as he watched the shadows, once again, make their way up the adjacent wall. For three days, he watched the shadows, and every day they would follow the exact same path. His life was resembled in those lonely and dark shadows.
As he looked at the adjacent wall, he thought of the past sixteen years of his life. Nothing he had gone through, would he curse on his own worst enemy. He had seen so much, endured so much more, and had died before he had even turned ten. The problem was, he kept breathing. The problem was, he was reminded, every minute of every day, who and what he was. A Malfoy. A person so hated, people would go out of their own convenience just to not walk in his direction.
Why couldn't't he just stop breathing? He had contemplated that for more then a year now, and still, there was no answer.
"Malfoy! What do you think you are doing in the hall at this hour?" Draco looked to his left and saw Hermione Granger and her 'Golden Idiots,' walk up to him. At this point, Draco was tied, so tired of his life, of pretending to like his life, that he didn't put on his usual sneer, nor did he insult them.
"What do you want Granger?" Even to his own ears, Draco's voice held a deep sadness, a tiredness of the soul, a voice of the dead.
"It's past curfew. You need to get back to the head dorms, seeing as you don't have patrol tonight." Malfoy slowly got up, feeling his frail and severely malnutrition body hesitate with the weight of holding him up. He walked up to Granger and the 'Dudley Due Right Twins;'
"Do you ever wonder why we breathe?" Draco breathed out; he could feel the last part of himself numb over with that last breath. It was like a sense of calmness, that would scare anyone, come over him, as if he was part of a dream-like state.
"Do you ever wonder, why, when you are dead, oxygen continues to pump into your body?" Draco finally allowed the three to get in a word. Granger looked at him as if she was going to feel for a temperature. Potter and Weasel looked at him with narrowed eyes.
"What are you trying to pull here ferret?" Ron accused.
Hermione looked up at Malfoy, noting his eyes. They were empty, like he was a living corpse. No light brought out his eyes; no hatred that he had previously saved just for her and, basically, everyone else. Nothing. Something inside of Hermione buzzed; a kind of warning of something bad that was going to come.
"Its funny, when one can't feel anything. It's like your floating." Draco slowly turned around. "Well, Goodbye." Draco walked away, slowly making his way to the Head dorms.
"He is completely off his rocker." Ron commented.
"Yeah, he's up to something. He always is." Harry agreed. Hermione wasn't so sure. Something had her wanting to follow her.
"I don't know what wrong with him, but he seemed so empty." Harry and Ron turned and started to pull her down the hall.
"That's the problem with heartless bastards." Ron said. Hermione spared one last glance behind her, but Draco was already gone.
Draco was able to drag himself to the Heads bathroom before he collapsed onto the toilet seat. He once again thought of ending his miserable life, but this time, his thoughts turned into actions; unlike the past year when his thought were just thoughts. Looking into the mirror above the sink, Draco slowly brought his had up in a fist, and with the remaining strength he had at the moment, Draco drew his arm back and smash the mirror.
"Hmm…still no pain." Draco murmured. Draco watch with some sort of morbid fascination, as the blood rolled down his hand. He couldn't't even feel that, it was as if someone had shot his body full of numbing juice. He wondered if he could feel anything, anywhere, so Draco decided to test his theory. Picking up a small shard f glass, Draco started to place strategic cuts all over his body.
"Hmmm…nothing." Draco almost smiled; he again, watched the blood flow from his body. But after a few minutes, he began to feel something. This time, Draco did smile. He could feel calmness so profoundly; he closed his eyes and let it sweep through him. It was as if someone had gone inside his body and taken all his memories away, all the pain and hurt he had gone though. Draco made his way into the tub to lie down; he didn't think he could stay upright any longer.
Hermione had just gotten back from patrol, and her thoughts once again returned to Draco. She wanted to go check on him, but knew she shouldn't't. Instead, Hermione went into the bathroom to start a bath. At first, she didn't notice someone was laying in the bath, but she turned the water on, and saw that the water was turning red, Hermione looked down and screamed.
Harry and Ron, who had barely made it down the hall, heard Hermione's scream and rushed back to the Head dorms. Screaming the password, Harry and Ron rushed into the common room and yelled for Hermione.
"Help, I'm in the bathroom!" came Hermione's reply. Harry and Ron both rushed into the bathroom, only to find a frantic Hermione holding a soggy and bloody Draco.
"What happened?" Harry asked, as he helped Hermione get Draco out of the tub.
"I don't know. I was starting my bath, and I found him. Just help me get him to Madame Pomfrey." Harry nodded his head, but soon as they got Malfoy out of the, Harry decided that Draco shouldn't't be moved.
"Hermione, I don't think we should move him, I mean. Look at all the cuts on him. We don't want to make them worse by walking him all the way to the hospital wing." Hermione looked down at Draco's half naked body, seeing all the hidden cuts that she had first missed, and nodded her head.
"Ron, run and get Madame Pomfrey, and hurry!" Ron hesitated for the briefest of moments before he jumped into a dead run.
Hermione and Harry moved Draco as far as the couch in the common room, before Hermione ran to get towels to try and stop the blood flow. No sooner had Hermione come back with the towels, did Ron come barging in with Snape and Madame Pomfrey.
"Move out of the way." Snape commanded as he came up to the couch. Hermione and Harry quickly moved to make room for Snape and Pomfrey.
"Draco my boy, what have you done to yourself this time?" Snape said gentle, surprising everyone in the room, including Madame Pomfrey. Snape gently lifted Draco from the couch and headed for Draco's room, Madame Pomfrey two steps behind.
"Hopefully it's not too late to heal him, Severus." Madame Pomfrey stated. Snape jerked his head in agreement then carefully lowered Draco onto the bed. Immediately, Hermione ran up to the other side and watched as Madame Pomfrey began to work.
About half an hour later, Madame Pomfrey laid down her wand and shook her head.
"I've done all I can, but I don't think it's enough. Someone will have to stay with him through the night. If he's going to pull through, we shall know be tomorrow." With that said, Madame Pomfrey left the room. Snape stood up and walked over to the chair that sat against the back wall.
"You three, leave. You have a Potion's test tomorrow, and I expect the best." Harry and Ron both scurried out the room, but Hermione hesitated.