Warning: possible spoilers for "Point of View"
Sleepless Night
Sam
Sam could not find sleep the night after Dr. Carter and Kowalsky successfully returned to their reality and defeated the Goa'uld with the help of the Aasgard. Her problem did not come from thoughts of them, or rather, not from thoughts of Kowalsky. They stemmed from her unending thoughts of Jack and Dr. Carter. She convinced herself that she had been surprised when she learned that Samantha and Jack had been married, but if she were honest, she was jealous…of herself, for all intents and purposes. Catching the way Jack looked at Samantha, and…that kiss between them, had done nothing to quell that feeling. That made two alternate timelines that she knew of, where she and Jack were a couple.
Honesty. Oh Boy. Should she really let herself go there tonight? No, she shouldn't, because the Air Force regulations made it all too clear that she could never be with Jack as long as he was her CO, but that had never stopped those stray, unguarded moments when she let herself think about him in an entirely unprofessional way. She had on occasion caught him looking at her as well, but never acknowledged it, or so she hoped.
She had worked so hard to get where she was. It still wasn't easy, even in these "enlightened" times when women could achieve the same professional goals as men. Her position as a scientist and an officer in the Stargate Program meant so much to her; she didn't want to endanger any of it by breaking the rules. And Major Samantha Carter did not break rules. She couldn't imagine not being involved, exploring the galaxy, helping to defend her own world from malevolent beings like the Goa'uld.
So where did that leave her? A relationship outside of the SGC wasn't feasible, considering the fact she could never divulge any of her adventures, good or bad, never discuss any of it at all. Truthfully, she hadn't had thoughts about other men for quite awhile. When she allowed herself to even think about a relationship, her mind would only picture one man, and she would quickly concern herself with something else to erase the image. It was impossible. Unless of course, she wanted to throw away everything she had worked so hard for, and that was just not going to happen. So, that left her alone.
Except…her feelings for Jack grew stronger with time. The past few days had brought that into stark reality. There had been moments in the past…the odd embrace that lasted a bit too long, was a bit too personal. Snuggling with him in the cavern in Antarctica had been a favourite memory, despite the fact they almost died in there. Being attracted to him was one thing. But she found herself wanting to depend on him, even when she knew she didn't have to. She was a capable officer, a capable woman; she could kick ass as well the men beside her. She didn't need Jack's help in most situations. That didn't mean she didn't want it, or didn't want to be near him, or feel a twinge when other women appreciated him openly, even when that other woman was…herself? Damn it! This was getting her nowhere.
Sam got out of bed, went into the bathroom and popped a sleeping pill, something she rarely did. She crawled back under the blankets, closed her eyes, and tried to distract herself with Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. She had to stop thinking about Jack.
Jack
Jack fell asleep, but his dreams were just as confusing as the whole 'two Sams' thing had been for him. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that they were theoretically the same woman. He had let himself be taken in by Dr. Carter, held her, kissed her, and he liked it…a lot. Now his feelings for Sam were gaining access to the front of his conscious mind instead of being nicely tucked away in a place from which they only made occasional appearances.
He was kissing Dr. Carter, Samantha. She was luscious, her lips tasted sweet, her body pressed against him felt like a dream. He came to his senses suddenly, pulling away, then staring at her lovely face, studying it, trying to see the difference. There wasn't any.
"You don't even think about her that way, do you?" she stated, tears brightening her beautiful blue eyes. Blue eyes that were so familiar, but not the ones that he had grown to adore.
"No. I'm her Commanding Officer. There are rules that discourage…that." he lied. Well, part of it was a lie. "I'm sorry, Samantha."
She moved back into his arms and wrapped hers around his waist. "I just need you to hold me…please Jack…just for a minute." The tears were now spilling over, wetting her cheeks along with his shirt. "I miss him so much."
Jack obliged, putting his arms around her, one of his hands in her long blonde hair. This felt right somehow, but wrong at the same time.
Samantha drew back and caught his lips with hers again, pressing against him again, making it very hard for him to resist her. He managed to break the kiss, pushing her back gently, intending to leave the room, but the woman in front of him morphed into the Sam he knew. He was still holding onto her upper arms, now covered in the SG1 uniform, and before he could even think about it, he pulled her back to him and kissed her…hard. He held her tighter as he realized that she was returning the kiss in kind, her body against his feeling good, right…
Jack woke up slowly, fighting it, wanting to hold on to the dream. He knew he should shake it off quickly, forget about it, but for a minute, in that time between the dream and waking, he could feel Sam laying next to him, her body warm against his. He turned toward his dream, his arm settling on nothing but the cool sheets next to him.
Groaning in disappointment, he got out of bed, checking the time as he did. It was 2:30 AM. Sighing, he ran his hands through his hair as he went to the kitchen and got a beer, thinking he would try to sleep again after he drank it. He needed to get Sam out of his brain. How could he do it when he saw her every day? When he looked into those big blue eyes, melted at that sexy, mega watt smile? Self control, you idiot, he thought as he finished his beer. He wandered back to bed, but sleep wasn't in the cards again tonight.
Sam/Jack
Sam and Jack lay in their own beds thinking the same thing. There would be no future with the other except as Officers in the Air Force working side by side. Each was thinking they could never let their feelings show. They had to let it go….didn't they?
