No I don't want to wake up. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever, Dave thought as he rolled out of bed at seven in the morning. It wasn't natural to do this every morning, going to the place he least wanted to be, constantly having to shovel down the crap that the teachers fed him. "It gets better Dave." teachers had foolishly told him more than once. He had immediately called bullshit on said statement and was sent home, but that bliss was short lived. When he arrived home to find an infuriated Bro, and that chilled Dave's blood terribly. It never ended well when Bro was mad; even more so when he had received a phone call form the principle earlier that day. Dave had had his ass handed to him nicely that day; Bro even went to the trouble to put it on a silver platter reading "Hot Strider Ass: Handle with Care."
Dave sighed as he unwillingly heaved himself off the bed and to his ultimate destination: his personal hell called school. It wasn't that Dave was stupid or simply that he hated the thought of learning, far from it…..it was rather...a certain group of individuals that made him dread rising every morning. Having to do the same thing, the same shit only a different day was tiresome to Dave.
He noticed the time, as he always did, and ran a nervous hand through his blond hair. There was no point in stalling, he had to go one way or an other, besides what was the point of feigning sickness when you lived with a creepy assed ninja that knew you inside and out? So without idling further he dressed swiftly and wordlessly. He flinched as he accidentally touched the cut on his leg.
"God fucking dammit." Dave hissed out through clenched teeth. He paused momentarily and then proceeded to continued. Moments later he stepped out fully clad in clothing only to be greeted by Bro leaning nonchalantly against the wall, looking as fresh as fresh could be.
"Dave." Bro acknowledged.
"Bro." Dave spoke out as he nodded to Bro in recognition.
"What's wrong little man?" Bro inquired as he pushed off the wall following Dave silently.
"Nothing. Just tired as the walking dead." Dave heaved out as trying to mask his pain as he walked.
Fuck. Fuck this pain is brutal. Dave thought as he felt pain start to shoot up his spine as he walked towards the door.
Bro didn't say anything, but he knew that something was amiss with Dave. The kid just wasn't the same anymore. Something was off. Terribly off. Dave didn't rap anymore and that shit was sacred, like Bible sacred to the Striders. The kid often came home with a shit ton of bruises and cuts that he so cleverly thought he could hide from him too. His turntables where hardly ever touched anymore thus collecting a Mount Kilimanjaro of dust. But more importantly, Dave didn't fight back at all…he refused to pick up the less shitty swords that Bro had purchased for him. When they went out for a strife Dave would not defend nor attack but let Bro just beat his scrawny little ass into next month.
That mortified Bro. Everything mortified Bro, but nothing made him feel worse then having to sit in the living room at two in the morning listening to Dave "silently" cry an ocean of tears every night for the past three or four months in a row. Not even the time he had found the bloodied razor blades in the bathroom, causing him to raid Dave's shit when he was at school made him feel as bad as when Dave cried.
"Have a good day Lil' man. Give 'em hell the Strider way." Bro told Dave weakly.
Dave felt his knees want to give out from the pain and the unceasing yearning to cling onto Bro. He just wanted to cling onto Bro in desperation as he cried and told him what was wrong, and in return have Bro hug him back and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Dave mentally scoffed at his own thoughts; he was loosing it. He couldn't allow himself to think such god dammed things. He was a motherfucking Strider; he needed to be strong and push through. Even if he was barely there at all in the end, he had to overcome this at any cost. Motherfucking Striders don't let anything beat them down Bro had told him, no matter how tough or how hard it seemed at the present, he had to champion through it somehow.
Dave flashed Bro a quick thumbs up. There were no needs for words, there hardly ever was. He knew that Bro would understand, well as much as Bro could understand. With that and with that being done, Dave dashed out of their apartment complex bag draped over his only unharmed shoulder.
The walk was as per usual uneventful and allowed him to mentally prepare for the torture that awaited. There never was much to prepare for…just the never ending taunting or jeering that was aimed at him. Looking up at the azure sky Dave saw two crows, large and black soaring through the clear sky. Sighing he turned his attention toward the ever nearing school. Once inside that damn school complex of white walls and students he would feel powerless, oppressed, sullied, and abused. It didn't matter how much time passed….it was awful and defiantly not getting any better, if anything….it just got worse.
First it was just being ignored by everyone, which was cool, Striders were lone wolves by nature. Then came the name calling, which really didn't do much at first but it was a thorn in Dave's side for a while. Dave didn't really talk much, he was just an awkward boy that couldn't really engage in a conversation face to face; generally speaking Dave was really awkward.
It's only natural, Dave would lie to himself I am the embodiment of cool after all.
After that came the slight pushing, that then turned to shoving, and then that…turned to be the daily death threats and the occasional icing on the cake of gang jumping him after school.
Dave inwardly cringed as he opened his locker and found about three handfuls of new death threats shoved inside. They were all basically the same shit in different words like:
Strider why don't you do humanity a favor and go
fucking kill yourself
Or:
Douche bag want to hear a good joke?
What's a Strider good for?
Committing suicide.
Or Dave's personal favorite:
Stop your bullshit and just go fucking kill yourself or something
Dave sighed as he closed his locker though a peculiar star shaped sticky note caught his eye behind his aviators. Dave took a hold of the note and read:
Hey Dave sorry for what all the douche bags in the
school do to you. I wish I could help you with some-
thing but I'd probably make things worse, but for
what its worth I think you're a pretty chill guy. Pls,
don't kill yourself you'll freak me out if you do. :D
Dave slowly smiled as he pocketed the note only to suddenly have his face greet the locker with this face. He heard snickering behind him.
"Hey douche bag, what are you doing? Actually going to something productive? Like killing yourself would be a good place to start if you ask me." the voice sneered.
Dave stood quiet as he felt his legs be kicked out from under him. He wouldn't fight back. Not now not ever. The game….it had left him traumatized and he refused to ever fight again, even if he had to die; that would actually be okay. He'd had come to terms with death after having all those doomed Daves running around. Death wasn't terrifying it was actually rather nice and comforting, much like a best friend.
"I'm. Fucking. Talking. To. You. Answer me you piece of shit." still Dave remained silent even if he was being pulled up by his hair. He felt a fist come in contact with this stomach leaving him breathless.
"Respond you fucktard." he heard someone growl into his ear.
Sill Dave remained silent and motionless. He knew he was going to receive hell for this, but it didn't matter anymore. Nothing really matter anymore, no one except for two people really matter to him-
"Don't think I don't know about this fucking John Egbert dweeb, Strider." The voice hissed into his ear as an other fist made contact with his abdomen.
"You better not-"
"Do what? Make him cry and send him with his dead mommy? Make him cry? You know all to fucking well what will happen when he's hear."
Dave felt his muscles tense. "Please, I'm begging you don't hurt John. Please. You're already getting what you want. Seeing me miserable isn't enough to get you off anymore is it?"
"You arrogant little piece of shit. Watch your fucking mouth." Dave's head smashed against the locker and then he was violently thrown down to the ground. He felt a foot connect with his rib and he swore he heard a crack. White pain surged through him and he let out an almost inaudible grunt as he felt the pain run deeper.
Finally it stopped and he walked away with a bone chilling laugh that bounced off the walls and assaulted Dave's ears. Slowly and painfully, Dave uncurled himself from the fetal position that he had assumed.
He stood shakily upon his wobbly legs and proceed to go to class some thirty minutes late. The teachers didn't do anything anymore, none of them did. They acted as if they themselves were blind to anything that might take a turn for the worst.
Dave couldn't make it through the entire day and ended up going home during his fourth period, probably the hardest class available to him: Advance Placement Chemistry. He took the bus home instead being to weak to walk anywhere in his condition.
Dave was shaking badly, almost visibly as he stumbled out of the bus. He proceeded to begrudgingly ascend the stairs slowly, having to stop every now and then to catch his breath. New pain decided to surge from his wounds as he ascended up to his door. Finally, he stood at his door he opened it without hesitation only to be met by Bro and a surprised visitor.
Fuck. Fuck. John's here. Dave quickly cursed in his head.
"Dave!" John practically sang as he tackled Dave in a hug which Dave met that same hug with an almost invisible cringe.
"John?" Dave rasped out surprised by how weak and unsure his voice sounded.
"Dave? You okay man? You sounds kinda…..strange."
"Nah bro I'm fine. Just getting ironically choked up the weight of having my best bro right here in front of me. You know no big deal."
John smiled and Dave could have sworn that his heart skipped a beat. He had over the course of time unintentionally developed a crush on his best bro in the world. It pained Dave that the person he loved would probably never reciprocate those feeling. It didn't matter to Dave; it was all fine as long as he was close to John. Being on the sidelines just being John's friend should have been good enough, but it wasn't. It would never suffice.
"Guess what?" John asked still not relinquishing his hold on Dave.
Dave arched an eyebrow instead of speaking. He could feel is heart speed up and catch in his throat. There was no way he was going to say anything in this state so he waited for John to speak up again.
"I'm going to be staying with you and Bro for a few days since Dad's going on a business trip. He said he'd rather fly me over to the Strider's house then have me stay home alone." John chuckled nervously to himself.
Fuck. Holy fucking no. Hold the fucking phone and toss it out the window. This wasn't cool. This wasn't something that he was planning. There was no way in hell, heck not even hell could suffice, that he would let anything happen to John. To hell with that he wasn't letting John out of the stupid apartment period.
"You're not….happy about this." John meekly stated.
"As fucking ecstatic as a motherfucking Strider can be."
"Soooo….since this is like the seventh bazillionth time I've been here, I'm going to unceremoniously dump my crap in your room."
John went over to his stuff and then walked off with Dave trailing at his heels until a hand was placed on Dave's shoulder.
"What Bro?" Dave questioned hesitantly.
"Meet me on the roof in five minutes. Spout some bullshit to John as to why you'll be gone." and then he was gone. Dave felt a literal ton of brinks fall into his stomach. This wasn't going to be end well. It never did.
Dave sighed as he went to his room only to find that John had flung himself onto the bed. He looked at John hoping to God that he wouldn't notice him.
"Egbert." Dave cut the silence with reluctance.
John said something that was muffled by the pillow he had stuff his face into.
"I'll be back. Bro wants to talk to me about something."
John waved a hand lazily in the air signaling that he free to go. Well that was odd, the little dweeb could barely shut his trap sometimes.
Dave lazily made his way up to the roof cringing every now and then as unwanted spasms of pain erupted form his body. Bro sure did know how to be a dick. Once there he saw Bro standing in the middle glasses off. Dave stopped in his tracks mid step. Fuck when the glasses came off shit got serious. Dave gulped nervously as he approached Bro feeling the anger radiate off of Bro.
"Sup Bro? You wanted to talk?" he asked smoothly his voice sounding more confident then he felt.
"Dave." Bro started as he began to stride up to Dave. "What the fuck is this Dave?" Bro thrusted an envelope into Dave's face.
Dave opened the envelope and it read as follows:
Dave it took some time to find out where you lived but
hey it'll be worth it. I'll cut around the crap and get down
to business: we want you dead. So if you could die right
now then do it its for the best, trust us. If not we will
personally come to your apartment and fucking do it
ourselves. So now lets get real; either you do it or we do
it. You're running out of time man. We're making this
happen. Try as you might we will get you in the end. So try
and play cat and mouse and see how long you can last. Cause
you know Strider the cat always wins at a game of cat and mouse.
Strider mark our words. You will be dead very very soon. Til then pray
to God we don't get bored and kill your little John Egbert before we kill you.
Dave felt the colour drain from his face. He couldn't even speak from the horror and the amount of thoughts racing in his head. This couldn't be possible, he had to believe is wasn't. Not only were they after his life but they wanted John's as well.
"Well?" Bro asked impatiently.
"I don't -" Dave began shakily as he thought of possible ways to lie to Bro. There wasn't anything he could think of that Bro would believe. He had to tell him the truth. He had to.
"Bullshit Dave. Tell me the reason right now." Bro demanded.
"Bro I can explain all this just-" he began only to be interrupted.
"Well you sure aren't explaining squat right now."
"Bro just listen I can't tell-"
"Fuck that Dave. Tell. Me. Right. Now."
"You want to know why fuckass! You really want to know!"
Bro nodded as he folded his arms across his chest.
"Fine. I'll fucking tell you. I'm being fucking bullied alright! That good enough for you? I can't so much as show my face to that god forsaken school without being used as a sand bag!" Dave screamed as he felt tears start to roll down. "Every single fucking day! Look!" he pulled off his shirt to show bruises and cuts, new and old decorating his body. He then proceed to upturn his pockets only to litter the rooftop with pieces of paper. "You see these? All of these are basically that!" he point to the paper in his hand. "All of these are basically burning me to kill myself! Check my schoolbag! My closet! My drawers! Underneath my bed! The trashcan! They're everywhere! Fucking everywhere I go!" Dave let himself fall down until he felt Bro pull him into a hug. "I can't fucking take this anymore." Dave cried as he broke down.
Bro sat there comforting Dave until a squeak from the door hinges leading to the roof was heard.
"Dave? Bro? Where are you guys I can't-" John stopped and gasped. He ran over and hugged Dave as best he could. "Shhhhh, Dave." John told him as he hugged his back.
Bro shifted and placed Dave in John's arms as he stood up. "I'll be back little man. I'll be back." he informed them as anger practically radiated off his body.
"Bro. It isn't worth it. Don't do it." Dave scratched out.
"You don't even know what I'm going to do." and with that Bro stalked off.
John still had his arms around Dave until Dave turned to face him. "Dude you can let go now. I'm fine."
"Dave, you're not fine. You can talk to me, you know. I'll listen. I might….even know how you feel." John tried to sympathize.
Dave just shook his head " Nah man, I'll tell you when we get inside."
John obediently followed until they went into Dave's room they sat facing the wall for what felt like an hour until John broke the silence.
"So…you going to tell me what happened up there?"
Dave shock his head. "It isn't your concern John." John opened his mouth to protest. "No John seriously Bro and I will take care of it. You just worry about yourself." Dave told him as he shifted to lean back on his hands.
"Okay." John reluctantly agreed as he sat awkwardly. "So what now?
"Video games?" Dave offered. John nodded vigorously as he bounced, quiet literally off the bed.
A few hours later, the clock read 11: 43 pm as the front door was opened. Dave stood up immediately and shushed John into silence. He heard ghosted footsteps penetrate the silence as the unknown figure approached.
The door opened just a sliver and then form the darkness Bro emerged as silent as always except this time he was carrying an envelope.
He flung it at Dave, gave him a quick hug and then left without a word. Dave looked at the envelope in confusion as he opened it.
Dear Dave Strider,
We are glad to inform you that your request for a school transfer has been approved. Your new school, shall hopefully meet the requirements that your old school has failed to meet. You shall be taking the same courses as you where doing so in your old school, textbooks shall have to be returned to the previous school while your new text books shall be distributed to you in the library at 8 am, Monday morning; classes begin at 8:05. We hope to see you then.
Sincerely,
The Board of Administration
Dave looked up knowing that Bro was no longer in the room. He let out a genuine smile as he reread the letter over and over. He heard John shift on the bed and look up at Dave.
"A-are you okay Dave?" John reached up and wiped tears that Dave hadn't known he was shedding. "You're crying again Mr. Coolkid."
Dave shook his head as he wiped his sleeve across his face. "Nah just ironically crying at a letter Egderp. I mean come on tears have to be shed when you get a letter don't you think?"
John shrugged, "I dunno Dave, I never really get letters. Just emails, text messages, you know just the things that a normal kid would get." John teased lightly. Dave lunged forward and head locked John giving him a noggie.
"Come here you little derp. Time for this coolkid to rub off some cool on you. Ironically of course."
"No homo, right?" John laughed as he shook Dave off.
"Yeah, no homo." Dave agreed though his heart stung as he said those words. John ended up staying until Sunday evening. Dadbert had called John telling him that he had to fly back home. So after diner Dave and Bro took John to the airport.
"Bye Dave. I'm going to miss you." John told Dave as he clung onto him tightly. "Don't going around sulking cause your best friend isn't here to comfort you alright?"
Dave faked sobbed into John's shoulder. "Oh John, how will I ever live without you? You are my everything and I simply can not do with out."
John laughed as he let go. "Touché. Pimp Egbert is in the house and da number one hoe Dave Strider is my bitch so suck it."
Dave shook his head. "Okay Egbert, Texas has finally messed with your head." gently Dave pushed John away and with that John was on his way to Washington.
Dave had been doing well in the up coming weeks as he wasn't targeted to bullying in his new school. He had a made a few acquaintances, and he seemed to be a little brighter, speak a little louder, talk more often. Dave loved this school, he loved that the people didn't push and shove him or jump him. He loved the thought of going somewhere he knew he could be somewhat safe.
School had just been let out for the day and Dave had a sinking feeling in his gut.
It's probably a premonition of one of Bro's crazy antics at home. Dave thought as he brushed that thought off.
All was fine until Dave arrived at the front gate and he felt his heart drop to the floor. Of course, this was too good to be true…how many weeks had gone by without a single threat coming his way? There really wasn't anyway that he would be allowed some piece and quiet without having a retaliation later on.
A figure that Dave new only to well wickedly smiled at Dave. All the hairs on Dave's body stood up on end. He knew this wasn't going to end well so he did what he only knew what to do. Run.
I have to get out of here, fast. Please god, whatever or where ever you so please to reside, don't make them come after me. Dave pleaded in his head knowing his pleas were in vain as his feet darted against the cement.
Dave looked back for a second and saw an entire group of people chasing after him on foot.
Shit, shit, shit this is not going to end well. Dave thought as he thumped up the stairs, heart in his mouth, hoping to God that Bro wasn't home. Dave reached the door and pried it open within seconds. A note from Bro sat on the table informing him that he was going to be home late sat on the table almost god sent.
Dave rushed back and locked the door hoping that the lock along with the oh so many stairs were able to stall for him just enough. Dave ran to his room in exasperation as tears flooded from his eyes. He could not, would not break right now. Not after all this, not after having to put up with this only to have been shown that this time in his life would try and claim his life.
"Open the fucking door Strider!" Dave heard a pounding on the door had begun. Dave darted over to his computer and opened the word document that he had been working on for the last two days. He quickly sent it to John knowing there was no going back. This was it. The end. His end.
Taking a deep breath Dave took a piece of printer paper and quickly wrote down:
Hey Bro, I know what I did was fucked up and all that shit but you have to give me some fucking credit. I can't take it, blah blah blah you'll probably blame yourself for this. Don't. If anyone is to blame put it on the stupid game. So much shit got fucked up by it, primarily me. I don't hate you don't ever think that okay Bro. this is my own decision that I'm making as an adult. Don't give me the a 17 year old isn't an adult, I technically am. Sorry for not being the bro I wish I could have been for you. I'm lame and going to get my ass handed to me if I don't end this now. Bro I love you, as my best friend, a father figure but most of all as my bro.
-Dave motherfucking Strider
Striding over to the mounted shitty swords he kept in his room. Taking one down he looked at it almost lovingly as tears began to fall again.
"Strider. We'll kill you once this door is out of our way!" a voice boomed as the pounding increased.
Though in Dave's ears it only seemed to fade as he unsheathed his sword and looked at the tip. Taking one last deep breathe, Dave plunged the sword into his abdomen in a swift and graceful movement.
He felt the sting of the initial strike. He felt the crimson liquid seep onto his shirt staining it crimson before it then trickle down. Dave felt his knees give out as he fell forward pushing the damned sword further into his body. He felt darkness surround him as he vaguely saw figures crowd around him. They spit on him and one of them went as far as to pull down the other shitty sword and stab it into Dave.
Dave cried out weakly but he was too far gone. They left Dave in the pool of his own blood. Slowly but with what little strength was left in Dave he grasped the closest thing to him at the moment. Clutching it close Dave felt his life give out and a crow cawed in the background taking Dave Strider as he flew off.
Some two hours later Bro arrived to find the door open wide. Cautiously he walked in and saw nothing out the norm he walked to Dave's room and saw dead.
Bro flipped Dave over and saw him Cal in this hand. Bro took Cal, all bloodied and sad as he felt a heart wrenching sob erupt form his chest as he hugged Dave's cold body closer.
On the computer screen the letter smeared with Dave's blood by the intruder laid letter written to John. Sullied and stained with feelings in it that Dave had never voiced. His true feelings sang within the words of unspoken and unrequited love that he would never say. Only John and possibly Bro would what his true feelings were, without a voice Dave was powerless and he had always been in that evil institution.
His letter stayed on the computer screen as the day changed into night and night turned back to day. Bro finally had the courage to wipe the blood clean form the screen only to find the computer on and a word document opened. Sitting down on the computer chair Bro sat down with a sigh. Finally opening the document he saw that it wasn't meant for him but he read it anyway. He could almost hear Dave read it out loud for revision. Bro smiled sadly as he read:
Dear John,
The exasperation of love that I feel for you….you will never know. I have tried to prove it to you time and time again that you mean so much more to me. Every time I see you, I feel you falter and hesitate more than the time before. I can tell that you do not think twice before you address me. As your words are sometimes hurtful and cruel, but carefully chosen for other around you. You maybe my best friend, but you also mean more to me then you could possibly imagine. To me, you are so much more to the point where I have been scared to voice my feeling to anyone.
That I shall never tell you, maybe I will in a few years…as to how much you mean to me. As foolish as it maybe, I have chosen this path and therefore have no right to complain as I watch you from afar. I have chosen to stay your friend…even if my feelings have sprouted wings and flown off despite my wishes. I have, encrypted in the messages that I have sent you; told you time and time again what you mean to me between the lines.
You are my best friend and you make my façade, that I have worked endlessly to create, crack. You have made me show you the true me. I have exposed myself in my most bare essence with you. You have seen me for who I am as a person; you alone have seen how truly fragile I am.
You know what it is that I am like, weak and scared of my own emotions. My emotions that cause turmoil within myself, the turmoil that never dies down but only picks up more strength. It will not lie down and rest, but only threatens to burst. I fear the day it will actually burst and is no longer contained. This appalling secret of mine, which not even you have witnessed.
I pray. I pray desperately that the day I tell you…you will sit there and listen to me. Listen to your poor old friend spill their emotions that have been bottled up for 4 years about you. Hopefully. you will smile and not be to deleterious in the way you go about it. Hopefully, you will just smile and say what you really want to say and offer to be friends if you do not share the same feeling as me.
Having you in my life, should suffice, however it does not. I want to mean something more to you then merely a friend. Though, if my feelings are one sided, in this unrequited love, I shall be more then happy with having you there in my life as a friend….even if I yearn for you.
I really wish, that you would look around yourself and see that there are people who love you, such as I, and hopefully you shall reciprocate my feelings; though that maybe not be the case I shall be glad to be in the background as a friend standing by you in life.
Yours truly,
Dave Strider
He looked at the letter one last time before leaving it turning and leaving the document open….something that Dave never was with anyone.