A Reason To Stay
Vincent's hand hovered over the finger pad of one of the Gattaca entry points. He considered lowering it for quite some time, but he didn't. There was something bothering him. It was something about the look Eugene had given him in that last lingering gaze... That's it! It hit him hard; the realisation. What had been a "see you again" for Vincent had been a "good bye" for Eugene. That look had indeed been the last they would share and not because Eugene was planning on travelling but because he was planning something much more. Something much more final.
The vomit came quickly, and Vincent retreated from the turnstile, not making it very far before throwing up all over the floor. He had a strange thought that once upon a time it would have been him who would have to clean it up. But that was not the case anymore, and he had Eugene to thank for that. He hesitated as his shallow breaths deepened. Should he go or stay? He was closer than he'd ever been to living his dream and now that it was within his grasp he didn't want to take hold of it. Things had changed, he'd changed. The reason he'd wanted to go was not to prove he was good enough but because he had no reason to stay. He was alone in the world or at least, had been, now he had someone and that someone was Eugene...
Eugene was just lowering his silver medal over his head when the door burst open. His bitter last moment reflections of being second best interrupted by the noise of shallow panicked breathing and the sight of Vincent's incredibly blue eyes. Those eyes forged not by a carefully chosen genetic sequence but by fate, and they were perfect.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, half annoyed and half glad that Vincent had stopped him from finally succeeding.
"I couldn't go," gasped Vincent. "I couldn't leave you."
The words although not undesired were unexpected. Eugene had undoubtedly grown to love Vincent, his only friend and companion, but it was strange to hear the words from Vincent's mouth. An indication that perhaps Eugene hadn't been second best to Vincent's space mission, or even to Irene. He brushed the thoughts aside, God knows he spent too much time with his thoughts.
xxx
Twenty four hours later the tension in the air between the two Jerome's was heavy. It had seemed the right thing to do when Vincent had abandoned his dream and stopped Eugene only moments before he ignited himself. Now, reality was setting in and Vincent guiltily wondered if he had done the right thing. Eugene was one of those unhappy souls that didn't fit anywhere and never would. He'd spent too long being resentful and bitter; the damage to himself was done. Or was it? He'd definitely changed in the time between when Vincent first met him and now. He'd gained a sort of purpose in the lending of his ladder, or perhaps giving it, to Vincent, and seemed to have thrived on it. Maybe he'd really believed in the dream as much as Vincent had.
Vincent was sitting in a chair opposite Eugene at the table, his fork lingered over his barely touched meal. He glanced up to find Eugene staring at him, a hateful look upon his countenance but the emotion fell short of his eyes.
"Why'd you stop me?" asked Eugene, abandoning his efforts to look bitter.
Vincent didn't answer for a moment.
"I couldn't let you," he finally uttered. "I wasn't ready to say good bye."
"You weren't ready?" spat Eugene indignantly. "You were flying to the bloody moon and you weren't ready to say good bye?"
"Well I didn't fly anywhere, did I?" returned Vincent defensively.
"No," agreed Eugene bitterly. "You didn't."
xxx
Eugene had fallen into one of his depressions that caused him to drink more than usual. He kept to himself and caused Vincent to question his decision more than ever but the question wasn't if he should have gone to Titan, it was if he should have let Eugene succeed. Having no answer to this question, Vincent resorted to what had always provided a refuge for him; science. He decided to study, anything and everything he could get his hands on and it was through this that he made an unexpected discovery. A paper written by a professor of medicine had made several breakthroughs on the path to spinal injury treatment. As Vincent read through the professor's theory his imagination was ignited with thoughts of Eugene. It all seemed too good to be true. A process to engineer a synthetic spinal cord to be fused to where the broken or damaged one was within the patient which would then mimic the genetic code it was attached to and produce new growth, effectively growing a new section of spine within the patient themselves, was in the very early stages of development with a few failed tests the only result. The ground work however seemed sound to Vincent. He hit the back button on his internet browser, looking for the source and hopefully contact details of the author. His heart sank however when he found what he was looking for. The paper had been published posthumously. The professor was dead and so was the project with him. All funding and personnel had been pulled with the citation that the research was entirely theoretical and a successful result could not be achieved in reality.
At this point, Vincent heard the familiar sound of Eugene's wheelchair and snapping the laptop shut he spun around in his chair to face the direction of his friend.
"What are you doing?" asked Eugene moodily.
"Research," replied Vincent simply.
"Why?" questioned Eugene. "Shouldn't you be getting back to Gattaca? I'm sure they are wondering where you are by now."
"I can't go back there," said Vincent.
xxx
It went on like that for months. It was like when they first started the process of lending Eugene's ladder to Vincent. Eugene would sulk around the house throwing Vincent disgusted, condescending looks and drink a lot.
Vincent understood that it was just Eugene's way of dealing with the disappointment of not having realised his dream, their dream, Jerome's dream. But couldn't Eugene see that Vincent had a new dream; a dream that could truly belong to both of them, and could be realised.
Naturally Vincent turned to his research for comfort. It had always been the one thing he could rely on. This time however it was more important than ever that he succeed.
xxx
"Are you still playing with those silly little rodents?" asked Eugene moodily as he wheeled into Vincent's lab.
It had been six months since Vincent didn't fly to Titan. Eugene's disdain was weakened and his curiosity strengthening. His spite was fully in tact.
Vincent had not revealed what he was working on. He wanted to make sure he could actually pull it off before giving his friend any hope of walking again.
"They're the best company around here," replied Vincent, a small smile appearing on his face.
"You're hilarious," said Eugene. "What are you doing with them?"
"Experiments."
"What sort of experiments?"
"Science ones."
Vincent was being deliberately annoying.
It worked; Eugene huffed, threw him a dirty look, and wheeled away.
xxx
Despite the fact that every evening the atmosphere at dinner was icy to say the least, Vincent and Eugene both insisted on sitting together at the table to eat it. Both too stubborn to let the other enjoy the time by themselves.
"What are you working on?" Eugene demanded sulkily. "What has you locked away all day and night in that lab?"
Vincent couldn't take it anymore.
"You," he answered without looking up.
"Me?" asked Eugene viciously.
"Yes, you!" Vincent fired back, raising his voice. "I'm working on a cure!"
"A cure? For what?" He wheeled his chair backwards a couple of feet.
"Not pigheadedness unfortunately!"
"How dare you! You can't cure me! There is no cure."
"There will be!"
"No there won't Jerome! Why are you still here?"
"Oh again with the Jerome crap! Jerome may as well have flown to Titan for all I care! I'm done with him and that part of my life!"
"Well I'm not! It was your dream... It was our dream!"
Eugene swung his chair around and wheeled away.
"Don't come near me!" he called as he stormed away.
"I wouldn't dream of it," muttered Vincent.
xxx
Three months to the day since their last meal together Vincent dotted the last "i" and crossed the last "t" on his complete paper. He gazed at the white rat, whose spinal cord he'd damaged and successfully repaired, run past in its transparent plastic tubing. A serenity he'd not felt before fell upon him.
"It was successful," he said quietly.
Eugene was outside, looking up into the sky, his back to Vincent. He didn't react.
Vincent walked up beside him, and put his hand on his shoulder.
"Once the procedure is performed it will take time, therapy and hard work but you will walk again."
Eugene's hand reached up and rested on Vincent's. When he looked up to his friend his eyes were calm and glassy.
xxx
When the time came for Eugene's operation he was strangely calm. He saw the outcome as a win no matter what. If the procedure was successful, he would walk again. If it failed he'd finally be at peace. Vincent never would have suspected that Eugene was quietly doubting the former and hoping for the latter.
"Are you ready?" asked Vincent as he stood over Eugene in his blue scrubs, mask, gloves and glasses in place.
Eugene fixed him with an intense gaze and nodded, taking in his final look at the only person in the world who loved him.
"You'll just feel a slight sting," said Vincent as he administered the anaesthetic.
Eugene closed his eyes.
xxx
"Eugene, you're just waking up, can you hear me, take it easy, everything went fine, we did it..."
Eugene opened his eyes what felt like a split second after he'd closed them. He could hear Vincent's voice. His vision took a moment to focus but he soon saw two blue eyes only inches from his own.
"Don't move yet," instructed Vincent straightening up and injecting something into the IV tube. "You need to stay as still as possible for the next few hours."
A sudden feeling of something hot on the back of his hand indicated that the substance was entering his body, and he at once felt light as a feather.
xxx
Weeks of intensively physical therapy followed which was unpleasant to the say the least for both parties. Eugene was stubborn and moody. Vincent was strict and relentless.
Presently, Eugene clutched the parallel bars and inched his foot forward. Sweat poured from every part of his body and his shook with exertion.
"That's perfect, keep going," Vincent's encouragement only annoyed him. Why was he praising such slow and tedious progress.
When he finally made it to the other end Vincent help him back into his chair, and handed him a towel.
"That's enough," gasped Eugene.
"No, we still have the pool to go today, then you can rest," countered Vincent.
Eugene shot him a filthy look.
"Why are you still here?" he asked again. "You'd be on Titan by now..."
Vincent sighed.
"If you don't know by now, you never will."
Eugene glared but the spite was finally wavering.
Vincent took a breath, and knelt down next to Eugene.
"Don't you get it? You gave me everything I ever thought I wanted when you lent me your ladder..." He paused. "And you also gave me everything I actually wanted but didn't know about; everything I ever needed. Eugene, you were my reason to stay."
Eugene's expression faltered. His usual sneer disappeared.
Vincent stood, and looked away as time lapsed.
The familiar creak of the wheelchair speeding off didn't reach his ears as he expected.
"And you were mine," was the reply that finally did.