1. Motion
"Graceful" isn't quite the word for it, but there's something about the way that Rouga moves, something about the strength, confidence, and purpose he near-constantly carries himself with, that Tasuku finds impossible to ignore as they walk.
2. Cool
There are rare occasions when Tasuku can't help but think Rouga's proud and confident attitude is kind of cool, but he'd sooner bite his tongue off than admit it to him-because heaven knows the guy's ego doesn't need anymore stoking.
3. Young
Tasuku always finds himself mildly startled when he glimpses Rouga's sleeping face for two reasons: the first is that Rouga has come to trust him enough to allow some vulnerability in his presence, and the second...the second is that, free of any furrowed brow or scowl, Rouga really does look so young--so much more like the teenager he actually is.
4. Last
"Your escape from Sengoku Academy was your last-I'll make sure of it," Tasuku announces, and grits his teeth in thinly-veiled irritation as Rouga answers with a derisive smirk that almost seems amused.
5. Wrong
Tasuku's perception of "right" and "wrong" is maddeningly black and white and rigid to boot; it doesn't stop Rouga from challenging it when and where he can, and he always feels a sort of grim satisfaction when Tasuku cannot snap an immediate comeback or counter.
6. Gentle
Rouga brushes his lips briefly over Tasuku's knuckles, and for an instant Tasuku is taken aback by how gentle and loving the gesture feels from someone normally so clumsy and awkward in expressing affection.
7. One
Rouga's never believed in that "finding the one" tripe, but as he lies next to a still-breathless Tasuku after a particularly intense sparring session and opens an eye to peek at him, he muses absently that Tasuku Ryuuenji almost makes him want to.
8. Thousand
The question of how many opponents Rouga could buddyfight consecutively without losing crosses his mind one day, and it occurs to Tasuku in a strange mix of humor, dread, and exasperation that the number could very well be hundreds-if not thousands.
9. King
"Rouga Aragami, backing down from a challenge...?" Tasuku taunts, the smug smile on his face only growing larger when Rouga snaps an agreement, evidently having discarded his prior disdain and incredulity regarding a test to determine the Karaoke King.
10. Learn
It feels a little strange, Tasuku thinks, to have to remind Rouga of the fact that a functional friendship is a two-way street, but he's nothing if not patient, and he knows that Rouga tries his best to take his words to heart every time.
11. Blur
Tasuku is a blur of movement and frenzied strikes as he comes at him head-on, and the dangerous grin pulling at the corners of Rouga's mouth widens in what can only be called exhilaration and competitive excitement.
12. Wait
Rouga clams up at that moment, and though the complete shutdown of the topic is sad and a little disheartening, Tasuku nevertheless persists and assures him, "It doesn't have to be right now. I'll wait as long as you need me to."
13. Change
The change is largely gradual, but every now and then Tasuku is able to glimpse the extent of just how far Rouga's come: he's started smiling more often and more easily, laughing just that little bit more than usual.
14. Command
Tasuku tries to avoid wording things as commands when he's around Rouga, and although a bit rougher in his expression, Rouga does the same; neither of them ever wants to feel like a tool to be taken for granted again.
15. Hold
On mornings when Tasuku manages to wake before Rouga he'll sometimes find the other boy pressed snugly against his back with his chin nestled comfortably in the crook of Tasuku's shoulder, and though a tad stifling, Tasuku realizes that the arms around his waist offer a feeling of safety more profound than any criminal's hold has a right to.
16. Need
Their values are almost entirely different and their personalities tend to clash in messy ways, but they agree where it matters and make for one hell of a team in combat-and maybe, Rouga thinks, that's what the two of them really need, even if it doesn't necessarily align with what they thought they wanted.
17. Vision
The way Rouga views the world and even the future is heartbreaking, and though Tasuku has plenty of his own gripes regarding the present state of their reality and what lies ahead, a part of him wishes desperately to change the other boy's mind-maybe not right this second, maybe not even months from now, but someday.
18. Attention
Rouga rarely vocalizes a desire for attention, but over time Tasuku comes to recognize the little signs-the way Rouga sits a little closer to him than usual, or how he settles (offers) his hand on the sofa cushion in a gesture that isn't obvious but is far from subtle.
19. Soul
Although Rouga isn't certain whether he really buys into the idea of human souls, he does know that he'd tarnish his own a thousand times more if it meant keeping Tasuku safely out of reach of the darkness they've both struggled to survive in for so long.
20. Picture
It's only rarely that Rouga is willing to stay put for a staged picture, so Tasuku most often ends up snapping surprise candids where possible-though frankly, he muses as he pauses on a picture of Rouga mid-laugh, he almost thinks the photos turn out better for it.
21. Fool
"I think you know that trying to change him is a fool's goal," Tasuku says softly, and he hates the wry, self-deprecating smile Rouga wears as he replies: "No more foolish than wanting to save even your enemies."
22. Mad
It's very uncommon for Tasuku Ryuuenji to reach the end of his patience and lose his temper, but somehow Rouga has a way of pushing his buttons that few others do-no matter how trivial or petty the subject.
23. Child
Tasuku always tries his best to be gentle and kind to young children, so it comes as no surprise that they generally like him; what does is their clear enamorment with the "grumpy uncle," as well as the simple fact that Rouga actually refrains from shaking them off and instead bears it in silent agony.
24. Now
No matter what, Rouga Aragami must be punished for his crimes-yet as Tasuku watches him now from the other side of the window, he finds it difficult to reconcile that a fugitive notorious for evading Buddy Police capture is also the boy that flew to his aid and fought tooth and nail at his side that day over the mines.
25. Shadow
He doesn't notice Rouga approach from the shadows, so when a hand settles atop his shoulder Tasuku does what years of police work has trained him to do: he grabs the arm of his "assailant" and flips them over his shoulder, much to the chagrin of a now stunned but thoroughly disgruntled Rouga.
26. Goodbye
Rouga can't afford to linger any longer than necessary if he wants to avoid apprehension by Buddy Police reinforcements, but as he glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with Tasuku, both of them realize that this isn't goodbye-not by a long shot.
27. Hide
Much to Tasuku's dismay, Rouga has made something of a habit of hiding out at his apartment when attempting to avoid police custody-and no amount of exasperated "You do realize I'm a police officer, right?"s seem to faze him in the slightest.
28. Fortune
It's petty and childish to be as sour as he is over the stark difference in their omikuji fortunes, especially when they really probably don't mean anything...but somehow, Rouga's nonchalant dismissal of the forecasts only serves to make him grumpier.
29. Safe
He's admittedly troubled when he learns of Rouga's nonexistent living situation, and even though he knows Rouga is tough and strong and has Cerberus with him besides, he's always struck with the feeling of being able to let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding when they cross paths time and time again.
30. Ghost
Tasuku doesn't know whether to feel amused or just exasperated the night he finds out the reason Rouga hates ghosts: because you can't hit them, and because you can't kill something already dead.
31. Book
Rouga's appearance and demeanor in general practically scream "rough," so when he proves to be shockingly well-read and studious to boot, Tasuku eagerly opens his mouth to inquire further on the topic-only to shut it when he glimpses the dry, bitter smile on Rouga's lips.
32. Eye
His eyes are like a storm at night, Tasuku decides, and though he'd have liked to simply look at them a little while longer, the raised eyebrow and incredulous stare Rouga levels him with prompt Tasuku to quickly avert his gaze.
33. Never
"I won't betray you. Count on that," Rouga vows, and though Tasuku's only response is a sheepish chuckle, he knows the other boy is serious and that, for all his glaring flaws and shortcomings, Rouga Aragami never goes back on his word.
34. Sing
Surprisingly, Tasuku has a rather nice singing voice, and Rouga doesn't bother beating around the bush in saying so; Tasuku's small and somewhat bashful smile, however, quickly gives way to indignity when it's jokingly suggested that he quit police work to pursue a career as an idol.
35. Sudden
The first time Rouga kisses him comes entirely out of the blue-a casual, chaste brush of lips that nevertheless leaves Tasuku stunned...and eventually giggling madly when it dawns on the both of them that Rouga didn't think about the "afterward" and has absolutely no idea what to do.
36. Stop
"You really don't need to be ready for a fight at all times, you know," Tasuku insists, eventually heaving a defeated sigh when Rouga disregards his remark that he cease his use of the Disaster Force, even temporarily.
37. Time
It's said that time heals all wounds, but as Rouga watches Ryuuenji Tasuku unravel right in front of him, a part of him has to wonder if time really is enough by itself.
38. Wash
There is no washing his hands of what he's done, Tasuku thinks, and to that extent Rouga appears to agree with him-which is why it startles him when the other boy snaps, "If you have enough time and energy to feel bad for yourself then you have enough to get moving and do something about it."
39. Torn
For the first time in his life, Rouga finds himself at a loss regarding what is truly most important to him: loyalty to the one who gave him the world, or devotion to the person who had ultimately helped him pick up the pieces when that world came crashing down around him.
40. History
Their history is rocky at best, so for a while Tasuku tends to have a hard time deciding whether the snappy comments and snide exchanges are a sign of Rouga and Jack bonding through banter...or if he needs to be worried about either of them challenging the other to a duel to the death.
41. Power
Over time, Tasuku comes to realize that despite Rouga's heated claims of pursuing power for the sake of eliminating anything that stands in his way, it's more likely that he does so to secure his freedom, to crush underfoot the sense of helplessness that plagued his childhood for good...and to protect what few people have managed to earn his love.
42. Bother
"It's only a scrape. Don't bother," Rouga insists, but Tasuku responds with only a flat stare before abruptly tightening the knot he's currently tying the ends of the bandages into; predictably, Rouga flinches and hisses a string of profanities that a dozing Cerberus seems to find hilarious.
43. God
Self-pity is something Rouga avoids like the plague ("Wallowing won't change or accomplish anything."), but Tasuku can swear he hears an undertone of bitterness as the other boy remarks, "If there is any kind of god, they're doing a real stand-up job."
44. Wall
Tasuku, Rouga realizes in disbelief, has managed to make an art of passive-aggression-in that he's quite literally framed a portion of the wall that had met the business end of Rouga's fist last Tuesday.
45. Naked
It isn't walking in on Rouga pulling his shirt off that makes Tasuku pause and fluster when he's caught staring; rather, it's the incredible number of scars that adorn his upper body-a number ill-fitting of a boy just fourteen years old.
46. Drive
"I'm surprised your feet can even reach the pedals," Rouga comments, and it takes everything Tasuku has in him not to place the car on autopilot and throttle him across the center console.
47. Harm
There are times Rouga returns wounded from his periodic trips into the mountains, and though he always insists that there's no need for a hospital trip, that he can take care of it himself (and mostly he can), Tasuku finds himself plotting more and more the most efficient course of action to get him proper treatment-if only for the day he finally bites off more than he can chew.
48. Precious
"You're precious to me, you know?" Tasuku admits with a frown, looking up from his shoes just in time to catch the tail end of a rather strange look on Rouga's face...and the faintest dusting of red over the tops of his cheekbones.
49. Hunger
There's a certain hunger Tasuku can see in Rouga's eyes when the latter fights a strong opponent, a certain predatory confidence and determination, and Tasuku finds himself thinking with some exasperation that the alias "Wolf" might suit Rouga a little too well.
50. Believe
"I want you to believe me when I say you can trust me," Tasuku pleads, and Rouga smiles sardonically before answering: "I do. You'd better not make me regret it."
A/N:
leave me alone to die in rarepair hell.