Title: Aizen's Will
By: kitty868theonly
Rating: T-T+; Curse words and indications of very, very small lemon/sexual terms
Type of Story: BLEACH; Oneshot; General & Humor.
Quick Summary: Aizen is- DEAD! But, Aizen knew this day would come one day- but not so early BEFORE the Winter War. But, before he died though, he left his Will on what everyone needs to do and what everyone can have once he died. And, the one who needs to read it is- GIN! Something is not right here… [Side note/Clue/Credit: this story was inspired by a YouTube video that was/is rated #7 for comedy] BONUS was moved to LiveJournal Account. Link at the end.
Special Appearances (In order of Appearance): Gin, Touzen, ALL of the Espada are in this oneshot, and- ICHIGO! (WTH!) [Side note 2: Nnoitora's name will be spelled as Noitora in this story because it sounds/looks better that way to me]
Started On & Completed Date: December 12th (Start Date) & December 13rd (Complete Date) YEAR 2007
Total Pages: 12 (Including my comments)
DISCLAIMER: I obviously DON'T OWN BLEACH- and I don't own the YouTube video I am talking about either- nor am I the creator of the video or the characters made/shown in that video.
All of the Espada were in their seats, waiting for Aizen to arrive and start the meeting. But, to everyone's surprise, he hadn't shown up yet. The meeting should have started 10 minutes ago. This was how everyone knew that something was wrong, especially if he was late to his own meeting.
"Alright, what the fuck is going on!" A certain blue-haired Espada said with the number 6 labeled on his back.
"Who knows? Maybe the man finally crooked." Another Espada said as he cackled, who was at the other end of the table with only one eye looking around.
"Well I hope he hurries up, because I am still tired as hell!" Another Espada said that has his hair 'wavy' somewhat and a little goatee.
"Everyone calm down. I'm sure Aizen-sama has his reasons for being late." A certain emotionless Espada said, who was sitting right across from the blue-haired Espada.
"I don't give a fuck Ulquiorra! He always tells us to be on time, and yet he is late to his own meeting! I hate waiting for things that is probably meaningless!" The blue-haired Espada replied to the emotionless Espada, Ulquiorra.
"Sometimes I wonder how you became an Espada, Grimmjow." Ulquiorra said back, now trying to insult him.
"What you say you-"
"SHHH! I hear footsteps!" A woman said that always had her mouth covered.
They all look towards the door and waited for the door to open. The door opens, and in walks in Gin and Touzen- but no Aizen! All of the Espada are surprised that he wasn't with them, especially Ulquiorra. Gin and Touzen walked to the table and they stood by Aizen large chair. Gin had a frown upon his face and Touzen looked disturbed too, but he didn't show it as much. To everyone further surprise, Gin sat in Aizen's 'throne' chair. The first one to speak was Ulquiorra.
"Gin… What are you doing in Aizen-sama's seat…!" Ulquiorra, with a very small hint of anger.
Gin didn't respond. He simply took out a piece of paper that was hidden inside his sleeves. The paper was rolled up, but he unrolled it and held it in front of himself to read it. But, before he began to read, he looks up and looks at all of the Espada.
"Before I tell everyone the- news… I need to do a quick attendance of everyone- in no particular order…"
"Ulquiorra…"
"Here…" the emotionless Espada said.
"Grimmjow…"
"I'm fucking right here!" The blue-haired Espada said, losing his patients.
Gin ignores him and moves on.
"Stark…"
"I'm physically here, but my mind is not." The Espada said that had his hair 'wavy' somewhat and a little goatee
Gin ignores his comment.
"Zommari…"
"Here…" The dark-skinned Espada said with his deep voice and yet quietly.
"Noitora…"
Noitora cackles before he replied.
"I'm here- right next to the most beautiful woman in Las Noches." The Espada said that had only one eye looking out, while his other eye was hidden behind an eye patch.
The woman next to him rolled her eyes and sighed. Gin ignored the both of them and continued.
"Szayel…"
"The genius is here." The pink-haired Espada said with a smile.
"Halibel…"
"Here…" The dark-skinned woman said that always had her mouth covered.
Gin stopped for a moment, trying to remember the old man Espada's name.
"Um… The old man looking Espada…"
The old man Espada groaned in annoyance.
"My name is -"
Gin laughed nervously.
"Ah yes, sorry about that…"
Gin moves on.
"Aaroniero…"
"Here…" The Espada said that had his face covered, that somewhat shocked everyone because he hardly spoke unless he really needed to.
Gin was momentarily surprised before he continued.
"And finally, Yammy…"
"Here…" Another dark-skinned male Espada said with boredom.
"Alright, now that you that everyone is here, let's get to the damn point!" Grimmjow said.
Gin puts up his hands in 'defense'.
"Ah yes..! I might as well tell everyone now…"
Gin coughs for a second to clear his throat and chuckled nervously.
"W-Well everyone… I have some really bad news and some good news…" Gin said.
Nobody said anything, because they wanted to hear what it was before saying anything.
"Let me start with the bad news first…"
Gin paused for a moment before he continued.
"Aizen is….. He is- dead…"
Everyone gasped in surprise at the table, except for Touzen, Gin, and Ulquiorra. Grimmjow eyes had this surprised expression on his face, even his eyes were open wide.
"Wh-What the fuck did you just say…?" Grimmjow said, trying to see if it was true or some sick joke Gin was playing.
"I said Aizen is dead…. And I am very serious about the matter…"
Again, nobody spoke. Grimmjow grinned and laughed like some nutcase that was just admitted to the psycho-ward.
"Alright Gin! You had me there for a second, but we all know that you are the prankster type of guy. So, tell us the real bad news." Grimmjow said, with the grin still upon his face.
Gin looks at him with a frown on his face.
"I assure you Grimmjow, that I am not joking…" Gin said with a straight face.
Grimmjow grin disappeared from his face. Ulquiorra blinked his eyes once before he looked at Gin with his 'oh-so-serious' expression.
"I don't believe it. I don't see any evidence of this, not even his body. And, dare I ask how did he died?"
"Evidence? You are a smart one Ulquiorra… But, if it is evidence that you want- why don't you leave and tell me what you see in his room? I know it isn't ketchup all over his body." Gin remarked.
To his surprise, Ulquiorra didn't get up. Instead, he closed his eyes and kept them that way. The Espada remained silent, trying to figure out what to do with themselves since their leader was dead. Gin remained quiet for a few seconds, before his face expression changed to the usual smile.
"Don't despair everyone! Because I have good news too!"
Everyone looked at him; a few of them gave him this odd look on their face. Gin waved the paper in the air for all to see.
"This paper here is his will that he left. So, without further ado, I would like to read it!"
Gin held the paper in front of his face.
"It seems that in his will, he left something for each of you." Gin said before he looked back at the paper.
"H-he left us with stuff…?" Ulquiorra said, with a hint of surprise.
Gin nods his head before he continued.
"And these are his exact words…. 'To all of my wonderful children that I cared for deeply and taken care of so well-'"
Noitora cackled at those words.
"That's a laugh!" He commented.
Gin ignored him and continued.
"'- Since I knew this day would come, I have prepared myself by making this will… And, as I am sure all of you know, Gin has explained already that I will give some stuff to all of you… Each of you will bear a wonderful gift that I'm sure all of you will benefit from…-'"
"Him leaving us gifts? That's not like the prick at all." Grimmjow commented.
Gin continues, ignoring his comment completely.
"'-The first I am going to start off with is the one that seats right next to me- Grimmjow…-'"
Grimmjow grins at this and waits for Gin to continue.
"'Ah Grimmjow… The 'child' that acts bratty and acts like a stuck-up bastard since you was born-'"
"He called me a bas-"
"- A child who did not listen to me, acts like a total shithead when it comes to orders, does whatever comes to mind that pleases yourself, and the only one who ever was replaced by another out of everyone else.-'"
"What…?"
"'- As a gift, I give you, a boot to the head.-'"
"A fucking wh-"
A large boot came out of nowhere and hits him in the head. Everyone gasped at that action, and some even showed it upon their face. Noitora broke the silence when he laughed. Grimmjow got up from his seat and was about to strangle Gin around the neck, but Touzen had appeared in front of him to stop him.
"Sit down and listen to the rest."
"Listen to the rest! Did you see what that fake smiling bastard just did to me! He threw a fucking big boot at my head!"
"If that is what it says in the will, then so be it!" Touzen argued back.
Grimmjow grits his teeth and sat back down in his seat. Noitora continued to laugh.
"Oh man! This is the best meeting I have been to so far." Noitora commented.
Gin continued, as if none of the commotion occurred.
"'- But alas Grimmjow, you are one of my children… It seems unfair to just leave a boot to the head as your gift… So, I will be fair and bestow another gift upon you…-'"
This time, Grimmjow put a hand up to block any boots that came his way.
"'-Since you have saved our special guest, Orihime, I am now letting you be her bodyguard while I am gone. May the both of you be happy and maybe you can finally get your own life and start a crappy family so that you can finally relax and have some morals in your life.-'"
"Start a family! As if! But, I'm sure I can have some fun with the woman. Is that all?" Grimmjow said, removing his hands from his head.
"And a boot to the head!"
Another boot hit his head so fast, that he couldn't dodge it even if he wanted to. Grimmjow gritted his teeth again in anger.
"Where the fuck are the boots coming from!"
Noitora laughed at the scene and a few others chuckled lightly also.
"'-And now, I would like to move on with the next family member… This time, it is Ulquiorra."
"As much as I am sure you are enjoying this Gin, I don't want a boot to my head." Ulquiorra said, slightly moving his whole body down to avoid getting hit in the head with a boot.
Gin ignored him, although he laughed a little before he continued.
"'-Ulquiorra, you have been by my side more than anyone else, my most faithful child… I could tell you to do something, and you would do it with no problem or talkback- unlike Grimmjow…-'"
Grimmjow growls at the comment and he can tell that Ulquiorra was proud about what was being said about him. Ulquiorra sat up straight in his seat, waiting for his reward for all of his hard work and all of the crap he had to deal with from everyone- especially from Grimmjow.
"'-Since you have been so good to me and treated your brothers so kindly-'"
Grimmjow scoffed and even Noitora groaned at the words.
"Here's his big award for being a tattletale…" Noitora whispered.
"'-For all of your services, I have decided to give you, a boot to the head.-"
As quick as lightning, a boot hits him in the head and Ulquiorra head went back a little from the blow. He held his head of where he was hit. Grimmjow couldn't contain his laughter and Noitora followed.
"'-And another for the bastard 6th Espada!"
A boot struck Grimmjow in the head too. He didn't even sense it coming, and Noitora cracked up even more than before.
"I-I don't understand!... How come I get a boot to the head..!" Ulquiorra said, losing his usual calm face.
"There's more Ulquiorra…. 'But, Ulquiorra, since you are my best and most loyal ser-I mean- child- I will bestow upon you my psychology books with my original notes…-'"
"Really!"
"'-And another boot to the head!-'"
Another hits him in the head. Noitora completely lost his posture as he fell out of his chair, rolling with laughter. Grimmjow laughed too, but still had his guard up just in case another boot came at him.
"'- And that is all for Ulquiorra… Now, we will move on to Stark.-'"
"I may be tired as hell, but I'm not stupid enough to get hit in the head by no boot!"
"'- I have decided to leave you that very expensive and comfortable bed along with the pillows from my room… I have not slept in it once because I have always been working on my plans to start a new world… So, you may have it as my gift…-'"
"Really! I can have that bed!" He said, now fully awake.
"'-And a boot to the head!-'"
Stark is hit the head with a boot and instantly gets mad at Gin.
"'-And another for the emo 4th Espada!-'"
Another boot hits Ulquiorra in the head and Grimmjow just laughed at him.
"'-Now, moving on to Noitora.-'"
Noitora stopped laughing and stood right back up and held on to his chair.
"This had been fun and all, but I don't think I want anything- especially if it concerns 'boots'." Noitora commented.
"Even if it concerns Halibel…?" Gin asked with a brow up.
Noitora face lightens.
"I'm listening!"
Gin continues Aizen's will.
"'-As for Noitora's gift… It concerns Halibel… For now on, you will have the responsibility of her… And, I am asking you to start something with her- I don't know… Maybe a family…-'"
"See Halibel, even Aizen is ordering you to start something with me."
"'- Although you are a sick pervert, I'm sure she will be taken care of well, although you are a lower rank compared to her. I'm sure she'll fix you straight if you do anything stupid or anything of the liking.-'"
Noitora just laughs and tries to tease Halibel. But, without warning, a boot hits the back of his head hard enough to knock him to the ground. This time, Halibel laughed lightly at his misfortune.
"'-And of course a boot to the head along with that…-'"
Poor Noitora was knocked out on the floor and he groaned in pain, even Grimmjow laughed at this one. Stark couldn't help but laugh too.
"'-And now, we move on to Halibel…-'"
Halibel looked at Gin with cold eyes. Gin shivers from her stare and a big sweat drop appeared behind his head.
"Um… It's all good Halibel- I pr-promise…" Gin said in defense.
Halibel glared lighten a bit as she wanted for her own gift- with no boot to the head hopefully…
"'- Ah Halibel… A strong woman you are… Not just mentally, but physically too…-'"
Noitora woke up at that and he looked angry.
"You freaking fake smiling- Wait a minute… Did Aizen really write that she is a beauty physically too! Was he checking her out too!" Noitora said, a little confused.
Gin coughs at his comment before he continued.
"'- For you Halibel, I bestow upon you some things from Earth… Some feminine things I asked Touzen to pick up months ago just for you… Touzen-'"
Touzen flinches at the sound of his name. But, he knew it had something to do with Halibel's gift.
"'-As your last order from me, Aizen, give Halibel that big bag with the stuff in it that you got months ago….-'"
Touzen just nods his head. He removes a hand from behind him and a bag was in his hand.
"What the hell? Where that bag come from?" Grimmjow said in surprise.
Touzen ignores him and brings the bag to Halibel. She opens it and looks inside it.
"What is this?" She asked.
Touzen just coughed in reply.
"I rather not repeat what I had to buy…" Touzen said in reply.
He walks back to his spot by Gin and waited. Halibel looks down at the bag and opens it. Inside were clothes from a place called, "Victoria's Secret"…? She didn't know the place, but she loved what she saw inside the bag that came from there. Without her realizing it, a boot hit the top of her head, but it didn't hit her in the head hard, it was very light in fact.
"What the fuck! Why was she hit so lightly in the head!" Noitora complained.
"'-And another boot to the head to the pervert!-'"
Noitora was hit again in the head by a boot, Halibel couldn't help but laugh at it.
"'-As for Szayel…-'"
"This is so predictable." He said.
As he thought, a boot hits him in the head as quick as lightning.
"Ouch! I freaking knew it!" Szayel complained.
"'-Well, that is all concerning family things. As for my other-'"
Gin was interrupted by Zommari's voice.
"Excuse me Gin… If I am correct, you said that we all get something… Where is out gift- that has nothing to do with boots…?" He asked.
Gin looked at him, somewhat confused.
"Huh..? Well- um- there is nothing really here- Oh wait! That's right! Well, don't worry about it, because there are a few more things I need to mention before I get to you guys gift and stuff…" Gin said before he continued with Aizen's will.
"'-As for my other plans, I have decided to let Gin be the leader and take over my plans… He should know what they are by now, for I have explained the details in full to him already over a million times… Speaking of Gin, I have also bestowed a gift upon you… It is not a boot to the head, but it is- harmful snakes being placed in my seat that I'm sure you're foolish enough to sit in!-'" Gin exclaimed as he felt something bit him under his rear.
He jumps up from the seat in pain and hides behind Touzen. Some of the Espada couldn't contain their laughter. Gin rubs his rear form the bit and continues.
"'-I also left a gigai for all of you. I realized that none of you probably don't want to be led by Gin as your new leader. So, all of you have an option to take the gigai and live on Earth among the humans and have happy lives… As a final gift from me to all of you-'"
"Oh boy! Cover your heads everyone!" Noitora said as a warning.
"'- I have decided to leave each of you a expensive house with millions of dollars that I have taken from some rich human named "Bill Gates" by using my zanpakutō.'"
"Expensive houses and money?" Szayel repeated, confused.
"That's all?" Noitora asked.
"That's all.'" Gin replied back.
"That's a fucking disgrace!" Grimmjow complained.
"Well, what kind of expensive houses are they?" Halibel asked.
"'-A boot to the head!'"
Everyone got a boot to their head- hard enough to drive them nuts. Grimmjow got real mad as he stood up from his seat.
"That's it you fucking bastard! I'm gonna-"
He was cut short when someone barged into the room. Everyone looks towards the doors as they closed behind the person- and there stood- Ichigo!
"I'M HERE ORI-"
Ichigo stopped midsentence. He looked around and realized that everything with the atmosphere was- weird… Grimmjow held Gin by the collar of his clothes, there were boots on the floor, and some of the Espada looked angry or annoyed. A big sweat drop appeared behind his head.
"Perhaps I have the wrong room…" Ichigo said nervously.
Gin pushes Grimmjow to let him let go of his outfit. Grimmjow would have attacked Ichigo within a heartbeat, but he had a major headache from the boot incident that just took place. And he was in no mood for a battle with the shinigami.
"Ah! Ichigo Kurosaki! You have arrived just on time! Apparently, Aizen left you a gift too on this list." Gin said with a smile as he waved the paper in the air.
Ichigo looks at us, the readers and whispers, "What's going on here?"
"Before you ask questions Ichigo. All of the Espada were given gifts by Aizen. He has also left you one. He has it here at the bottom just in case you came too."
Ichigo just stood there, with question marks appearing over his head.
"Wh-What….?"
"'To my enemy Kurosaki… I have to say that were a pain in the ass a few times, but at the same time, you have helped me benefit from your stupidness and stubbornness.-'"
"STUPID!"
"'- And so I owe you, because I wouldn't have gotten so far in my plans if it wasn't for you… As a gift, I leave you a 'free life'- from being killed or hurt by any of the Espada, or my children rather. As for the woman Orihime, you may take her for I have no needs for her any longer.-'"
"As if I'll let the bastard take her!" Grimmjow said in anger.
"'-Although I am sure that you have to go through some agreement with Grimmjow due to me giving her to him as his gift.'"
"Wh-What…! Um… Well- thanks…? Is that all?" Ichigo asked.
"'-And a boot to the head!'"
"A wh-"
Ichigo was hit the head by a boot before he could finish his sentence. He held his head in pain and he glares at Gin. Grimmjow couldn't help but laugh as his enemy was hurt by a mere boot.
"'And another for the bastard 6th Espada!'"
Grimmjow was hit in the head by a boot in surprise, catching him off guard. Ichigo couldn't help but chuckle at that, but he still glared at Gin.
"You're so dead…!" Ichigo said as his eyes flared.
Gin just chuckled and was about to leave himself, but suddenly, the door busted open again. And there stood- AIZEN! Gin froze up as he dropped the paper on the floor.
"Oh boy…" Gin said quietly.
"I'm so sorry I'm late to the meeting… But apparently I fell asleep somehow and then I woke up and found pig's blood all over me and-"
He stopped midsentence when he looked around. He was surprised to find Ichigo there, but he was even more surprised that everyone looked- angry at him and surprised at the same time.
"A-Aizen-sama! But we thought you were dead!" Ulquiorra said, surprised a little.
Gin had snuck pass Aizen and was by the door, trying to leave. Ichigo was confused by the whole incident that was taking place.
"Dead? Now what gave you all the idea that I was-"
Aizen had stepped on the paper that Gin dropped. He bends down to pick it up. He glances at the paper, scanning what was on it. A vein popped on his forehead as a result- he was obviously very angry and he had lost his calm expression too. As for Gin, he was out of that meeting room before Aizen could kill him, literally.
"GIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!" Aizen yelled that echoed through the halls of Las Noches.
AUTHOR'S COMMENTS/NOTES
NOTICE (July 8, 2012): I moved the 'BONUS' one-shot to my LiveJournal page. Since it featured me, it was like a self-insert. There was a possible chance of it breaking the rules, and I rather be safe than sorry. In other words, waking up one morning and find it gone/deleted. So the comments below are old. Link to it is (remove the underscores (_)):
http_:/_/_kitty868theonly_._livejournal_._com_/_10566_._html
MU-HA-HA-HA! I'm so evil! I had fun doing this random thing! And yes, it is my birthday today- as of December 13, 2007…. *cough* anyway! I hope I did not offend anyone, I was not insulting any fan clubs of any kind and I kept all comments about fan clubs to myself (negative and a few positive ones). Since it was my birthday today, I just thought I write something random! ^_^ This oneshot took me a while to write, but I managed to get it done before 8PM- right before my test… And I hope everyone enjoyed it! Leave a review if you want- I kind of don't care anymore (although reviews are very nice and make me happy). ^_^ And yes, the names I mentioned for the two fanclubs are the names I saw there in charge of the clubs BA! And yes, the clubs I mentioned are also real BA! So, feel free to check out those fanclubs if they interest you (And- GRIMMJOW X ORIHIME NEEDS MORE LOVE!) So, please come support that one and others- if they interest you... Hope you enjoyed the oneshot- and goodbye for now!