The Nightmare Begins
Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters yada yada yada blah blah blah.
Rating: Pg-13 for violence, language, and sadistic individuals
This is a re-working of what I feel was my best story, not a new storyline. Still, at some parts there will be some pretty big changes. Please read and review, I always love to hear feedback, even if you think my stuff bites.
Chapter 1
"Hee-ya!" the girl cried as she twisted to her left and threw a thundering spinning kick at the face of her pursuer, catching him solidly in the jaw. The force of the blow spun him around a full 360 degrees before he dropped like a sack of potatoes, his neck twisted at an odd angle. The girl grabbed the guard's stun gun and fled down the dark corridor as fast as she could. In the background, she could still hear the soothing yet dominating voice that purred over the speakers in her room. "Welcome, sister. The Syndicate is your father. The Syndicate is your mother. The Syndicate is god. Rejoice in the glory of the Syndicate."
The young girl kept running, her shoulder length purple hair flying as she shifted her gaze from door to door, searching for what she needed. At the end of the hall, she found it. A gray steel door with the word "Armory" printed on it. The girl aimed the gun and fired 3 shots, and the door vanished into thin air. Inside, she found what she had come for. Holstering the stun gun, the girl grabbed a blue, tubular plasma rifle and as many energy cells as she could hold. She then tore the lid off a nearby box labeled only with a red cross and stared down at the contents. The box contained fast acting hypo injections. She had heard about the effects they might have on her. Reaching in, she grabbed a handful of the white, cylindrical tubes and stuffed them into her pocket. She then wandered to the back of the armory, and in doing so, found her means of escape. A blue tube, with a trigger, a targeting recticle, and a football sized. The scatter-pack-ballistic-grenade launcher. She heaved the hefty mass onto her shoulder, and jammed in a 4 round clip, then turned, and walked confidently out the door, and back into the corridor. As she turned the next corner, heading to the outside exit, she heard someone cry out, "Hey! Stop!"
The girl turned to see a guard, gun pointed at her. "Now just put down the weapons, and put your hands up," the guard said confidently as the laser eyepiece he was wearing centered itself at her neck. The girl glanced down at the dot, then with inhuman speed dove sideways. The guard fired his pistol, but she was too fast and the guard's shot missed her by several inches. She rolled, the brought up he rifle and fired a plasma round right into his chest, throwing him back. The guard landed heavily on the floor and lay unmoving, a blackened, smoking hole in his chest. The girl grabbed her grenade launcher again, and headed for the exit to the compound. She reached the exit door and hesitated for a second, glancing back at where she knew her brother was still trapped, his mind slowly being filled and altered with propaganda. "Goodbye Muro," she whispered softly, a tear falling from her eye, "I'll save you someday." With that, she flung open the door and stepped into the night, staring at the seemingly impassable concrete wall that stood before her. This wall was the edge of the compound, and she knew that beyond it lay a cliff, and a long drop into razor sharp rock filled cold water. THWACK! A plasma round impacting the ground beside the girl kerked her from her thought s and back to harsh reality. The girl leaped out of the way of the follow up shot and fired back at the sentry who had spotted her. Her plasma round struck him in the arm, effectively removing him from the fight. Other sentries who had seen this now started to open fire, their bullets and energy blasts ringing all around her. Well, the girl thought, time to break out the big guns. The girl heaved her grenade launcher up to her shoulder, and then fired at the wall. The initial impact was marked by a small explosion, which had the rather depressing results of simply blackening the thick concrete wall. However, after that the clusterlets exploded, shaking the wall and blasting a large hole in it. The girl dove through the hole and kept running, ignoring the blasts striking the ground from behind her. She stopped at the edge of the cliff, then grabbed one of the hypos from her bag and jammed it haphazardly into her arm. The effect was instantaneous. A purple shimmering glow instantly emanated from her, and she could feel the extra power coursing through her veins like new life. She closed her eyes and hopped off the edge of the cliff, then tumbled 300 feet to the hidden ledge below, striking it with enough force to crack the rock she landed on. The girl ran to the back of the cavern she was now facing, to where she knew the Stargate was hidden. She reached the DHD and started dialing the address that was burned into her brain, praying she remembered it right.
"Sir, unauthorized off-world activation!" the Sergeant Siler called to Hammond.
"Seal the iris!" Hammond barked.
"Already done sir. The signal is from P3X-943. It's a friendly world, one of the protected planets, sir."
Hammond considered, "Alright then, open the iris."
"Yes sir. " Just seconds after the iris opened, a young woman, about 20, appeared. Aside from the fact that she was quite pretty, the only thing especially eye catching about her was her bright purple hair (by now the effects of the hypo had worn off). She raised her hands in a gesture of peace to the many soldiers with weapons pointed at her. She looked at the control room. "You are General Hammond, I presume?" she queried in her soft, yet powerful voice.
"That's correct." Hammond replied, "May I ask who you are, and why you are here?"
"My name is Konoko," the girl replied shakily, "or at least I think it is. I'm here to warn you about a powerful group that has risen against you, called the Syndicate."
"I'm afraid I've never heard of them." Hammond answered, confused.
Konoko cocked her head in thought for a moment. "On this planet, you might know them as the NID."
~~~~~~~
So, what does everyone think? I know that this chapter isn't much different, basically I just tried to add to the description and get rid of static verbs, but in some of the later chapters there will be more significant differences. Anyway, please R&R!
Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters yada yada yada blah blah blah.
Rating: Pg-13 for violence, language, and sadistic individuals
This is a re-working of what I feel was my best story, not a new storyline. Still, at some parts there will be some pretty big changes. Please read and review, I always love to hear feedback, even if you think my stuff bites.
Chapter 1
"Hee-ya!" the girl cried as she twisted to her left and threw a thundering spinning kick at the face of her pursuer, catching him solidly in the jaw. The force of the blow spun him around a full 360 degrees before he dropped like a sack of potatoes, his neck twisted at an odd angle. The girl grabbed the guard's stun gun and fled down the dark corridor as fast as she could. In the background, she could still hear the soothing yet dominating voice that purred over the speakers in her room. "Welcome, sister. The Syndicate is your father. The Syndicate is your mother. The Syndicate is god. Rejoice in the glory of the Syndicate."
The young girl kept running, her shoulder length purple hair flying as she shifted her gaze from door to door, searching for what she needed. At the end of the hall, she found it. A gray steel door with the word "Armory" printed on it. The girl aimed the gun and fired 3 shots, and the door vanished into thin air. Inside, she found what she had come for. Holstering the stun gun, the girl grabbed a blue, tubular plasma rifle and as many energy cells as she could hold. She then tore the lid off a nearby box labeled only with a red cross and stared down at the contents. The box contained fast acting hypo injections. She had heard about the effects they might have on her. Reaching in, she grabbed a handful of the white, cylindrical tubes and stuffed them into her pocket. She then wandered to the back of the armory, and in doing so, found her means of escape. A blue tube, with a trigger, a targeting recticle, and a football sized. The scatter-pack-ballistic-grenade launcher. She heaved the hefty mass onto her shoulder, and jammed in a 4 round clip, then turned, and walked confidently out the door, and back into the corridor. As she turned the next corner, heading to the outside exit, she heard someone cry out, "Hey! Stop!"
The girl turned to see a guard, gun pointed at her. "Now just put down the weapons, and put your hands up," the guard said confidently as the laser eyepiece he was wearing centered itself at her neck. The girl glanced down at the dot, then with inhuman speed dove sideways. The guard fired his pistol, but she was too fast and the guard's shot missed her by several inches. She rolled, the brought up he rifle and fired a plasma round right into his chest, throwing him back. The guard landed heavily on the floor and lay unmoving, a blackened, smoking hole in his chest. The girl grabbed her grenade launcher again, and headed for the exit to the compound. She reached the exit door and hesitated for a second, glancing back at where she knew her brother was still trapped, his mind slowly being filled and altered with propaganda. "Goodbye Muro," she whispered softly, a tear falling from her eye, "I'll save you someday." With that, she flung open the door and stepped into the night, staring at the seemingly impassable concrete wall that stood before her. This wall was the edge of the compound, and she knew that beyond it lay a cliff, and a long drop into razor sharp rock filled cold water. THWACK! A plasma round impacting the ground beside the girl kerked her from her thought s and back to harsh reality. The girl leaped out of the way of the follow up shot and fired back at the sentry who had spotted her. Her plasma round struck him in the arm, effectively removing him from the fight. Other sentries who had seen this now started to open fire, their bullets and energy blasts ringing all around her. Well, the girl thought, time to break out the big guns. The girl heaved her grenade launcher up to her shoulder, and then fired at the wall. The initial impact was marked by a small explosion, which had the rather depressing results of simply blackening the thick concrete wall. However, after that the clusterlets exploded, shaking the wall and blasting a large hole in it. The girl dove through the hole and kept running, ignoring the blasts striking the ground from behind her. She stopped at the edge of the cliff, then grabbed one of the hypos from her bag and jammed it haphazardly into her arm. The effect was instantaneous. A purple shimmering glow instantly emanated from her, and she could feel the extra power coursing through her veins like new life. She closed her eyes and hopped off the edge of the cliff, then tumbled 300 feet to the hidden ledge below, striking it with enough force to crack the rock she landed on. The girl ran to the back of the cavern she was now facing, to where she knew the Stargate was hidden. She reached the DHD and started dialing the address that was burned into her brain, praying she remembered it right.
"Sir, unauthorized off-world activation!" the Sergeant Siler called to Hammond.
"Seal the iris!" Hammond barked.
"Already done sir. The signal is from P3X-943. It's a friendly world, one of the protected planets, sir."
Hammond considered, "Alright then, open the iris."
"Yes sir. " Just seconds after the iris opened, a young woman, about 20, appeared. Aside from the fact that she was quite pretty, the only thing especially eye catching about her was her bright purple hair (by now the effects of the hypo had worn off). She raised her hands in a gesture of peace to the many soldiers with weapons pointed at her. She looked at the control room. "You are General Hammond, I presume?" she queried in her soft, yet powerful voice.
"That's correct." Hammond replied, "May I ask who you are, and why you are here?"
"My name is Konoko," the girl replied shakily, "or at least I think it is. I'm here to warn you about a powerful group that has risen against you, called the Syndicate."
"I'm afraid I've never heard of them." Hammond answered, confused.
Konoko cocked her head in thought for a moment. "On this planet, you might know them as the NID."
~~~~~~~
So, what does everyone think? I know that this chapter isn't much different, basically I just tried to add to the description and get rid of static verbs, but in some of the later chapters there will be more significant differences. Anyway, please R&R!