A/N I think it's time that I come out officially as a Sleepy Hollow fan. And an Ichatrina shipper. Sorry, I just don't see Ichabbie, so if you're looking for that you're in the wrong place. I've ridden the feelsy waves of the Crane's marriage so far, but if I don't write something about them I think I'll explode. This came out of the season 2 mid-season finale. I know that it is unlikely that there will be any comprehensive exploration of Ichatrina anytime soon, but here this is, a conversation about their marriage. Please review, and since I'm new to this fandom on this website, anyone can feel free to PM me about it, I love making new internet-friends.
Doubts
"My love, can I speak to you for a moment?" Ichabod looked around the crowded room. "Alone?"
Katrina nodded and followed him outside. The battle was over, Henry had slayed Moloch (at least for the time being), but he'd disappeared, not bothering to untie Abbie, Jenny, Katrina, or Ichabod from the four trees. Irving was dead. Abbie was injured. And Katrina and Ichabod had essentially agreed to pretend that their marriage had never happened, at least until the apocalypse was over.
Katrina joined Ichabod on a bench outside Corbin's cabin. "Yes? What is it?"
Ichabod was a bit put off by Katrina's not so encouraging answer. He'd hoped that they could have a much needed conversation about the future of their marriage. He had not realized the extent of his mistake in his agreement to act as just soldiers until he actually tried to do it. He had even called her 'my love' despite promising himself he wouldn't. "We, as many couples before us, need to talk about trust, among other things."
"Could the 'other things' possibly be that you've acted like a complete bastard toward me about Abraham ever since he kidnapped me?" Katrina said, pushing the hair that escaped her French-braid out of her face. "I thought our love was strong enough to overcome anything, but if you can't see past the fact that my ex-fiancé, who is also the Horseman of Death, still has some strange possessive feelings for me in what is left of his heart then I don't think that we can—"
"Katrina!" Ichabod broke in urgently, scared of what she would say, "I've made so many mistakes. There are so many things I thought I let go of, but apparently I didn't. And that's on me. But I do still believe in that dream, the one of us when this is over. The life we deserve."
"I'm not sure we deserve it anymore," Katrina said softly. "You were right. I'm a spy, a witch, a liar." Ichabod flinched and Katrina raised her voice, "But I'm also a wife, a mother, a woman, and let's not forget the lives I've saved, despite the ones that were taken," she sighed, "I thought I tried. I thought I tried hard enough, but maybe if I'd been able to do just a little better Abraham wouldn't still haunt me. Maybe if I worked at it enough, I could become truly heartless, and stop caring about him. I don't love him. But he was a good man, he was my friend, and I guess I'm foolish for hoping that part of him still exists. But everyone thought I was foolish for thinking the same of Henry, and look at what happened with him. I'm hurt that you doubt me, that I don't have your trust no matter how hard I try, but I don't blame you for those doubts. That should give you some solace, I guess." Katrina looked down at her hands and began playing with the ends of her braid, pulling the tie out and taking it apart strand by strand. "I am sorry that these things have happened, Ichabod."
"As am I," Ichabod paused for a moment, watching his wife undo her braid. The light from the cabin shone behind her, giving her a halo around her red locks. "You were right, Katrina. Right about Henry, right about Abraham, right about me. I'm sorry I did not see it until now. I thought—" he broke off, but Katrina could finish his thought.
"You thought I wanted him, whether by my choice of by some spell of his."
"I did, yes. And then I made the mistake of trying to look at you as a soldier, not as the woman I love, and I could not do it. Soldiers—" Ichabod took a deep breath, "soldiers die, and the other soldiers move on. They are forced to. I could not see that happen to you. I do not wish to continue this charade of looking at each other that way. We are married, whether you still wish to be or not."
Katrina let out an indignant breath, "Of course I do! And I no longer wish to act as soldiers, either, but sometimes not caring is the best way. I know that more than most." Katrina took Ichabod's hand. "This most recent even is not the only time you've doubted me about Abraham and I think that is the root of the problem." Ichabod opened his mouth to interrupt, but Katrina stopped him, "When I was pregnant with Moloch, you entertained the notion that the child was Abraham's. Then you thought it was another man's. I'll grant you that being impregnated by a magic poison spider is not common, but the point is, something in our marriage is not as it should be."
"I thought I could let you stay with Abraham, I told myself you didn't love him, I got over the fact that you kept going back without a goodbye, but I suppose I was weaker than I thought." Ichabod ran his thumb over Katrina's knuckles, "Doubts were assailing me from all sides, what with my reading about Stockholm Syndrome and obsessing over what Abraham was doing to you. I can't pretend it wasn't wrong of me, and I can't promise it won't happen again, but I can promise that I do believe you now, Katrina, and I do love you. And if it is your wish that we go in not acting as husband and wife, I will respect that."
Katrina smiled a small half-smile, "You're crazier than I thought if you think that I just got away from Abraham and don't want to take comfort in my husband." Ichabod kissed her at these words, running his fingers through her hair. Katrina pulled back suddenly, "Remind me to tell you a story later, of you, me, Abbie, and a hug in purgatory," she said, and kissed him again. Ichabod is not the only one capable of doubts.
A/N I can continue if anyone wants. Just throwing that out there.
