Happy valentines day guys! I felt like doing something random (again)
Deep down in the depths of Middle-Limbo, the Company of Thorin Oakenshield (and others found in the movies and books) gathered to discuss a very important topic. They all sat together in the dining room of Bag End, which was currently the main setting of Middle-Limbo. The meeting had started off with various start ups of casual chatter, but they had business to discuss.
"Hello, everyone," said Gandalf in his loud and stage present voice. "There is a very pressing matter at hand that requires of discussion." At that he was met by many blank looks, though most of them were well aware of the topic they spoke of. "The certain matter of 'Fanfiction Ships."
There. It was out there. The loud discussion began.
"Well, I for one would just like to point out that although all of you make fun of it, there are many fans out there who ship me and Tauriel," said Kili in a rather proud voice, which he had to raise to be heard amongst the rest of the loud conversation.
"Yes, but, well um, I do believe that more people ship me with Thorin," said Bilbo in a rushed voice. "I'm sorry! I know I'm not supposed to mention it," he countered quickly. That comment sparked up more ruckus (and more chuckling from Fili and Kili's direction).
"And I feel that I must bring up the matter of the OC ships," said Balin. "I believe all of us have been shipped with a random OC or self insert at least once in our life of being displayed on Fanfiction."
"But something I don't get," intercepted Tauriel, who also happened to be there, "is that everyone seems to be fine with those OCs, but they all hate on me because I'm a movie add on." There was a beat of silence. "What? They call me a Mary Sue. How am I a Mary Sue?" Another beat of silence. No one wanted to say anything, though they all had the same initial answer in their heads. "I am not a Mary Sue," she continued, not seeming to get the hint (or getting the hint but wanting to further prove a point). "I can fight, wait, never mind. I'm captain of the guard, wait, no scratch that." She continued on with more examples, each proving as a paradox for the point at hand more and more. She finally stopped trying to come up with examples at "Legolas likes me, wait, no, that doesn't help my case."
After many a more babbles and points made, they finally got to the point of Durincest.
"I don't get why they have to call it that," said Bofur. "If their going to ship something they should make the name like the rest of them."
"They call it that because they can't mix our names," said Fili.
"Yes you can. Fi... Well, you could do Ki..."
"This is just Elsanna all over again," said Thorin after a moment.
"I knew you read Frozen Fanfiction!"