Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or the song in this fiction.
A/N: After hearing this song by Amy Lee, I immediately thought about how Kagome must feel about Inuyasha and Kikyou. This will be a one-shot song fic. So, here goes nothing. I'm not guaranteeing that you will like this, but oh well. It's no big deal. But, just Review and let me know what you think.
WARNING: Slight darkness, don't say that I didn't warn you.
Key:
1.) "Speech"
2.) 'thoughts'
3.) Part of song
4.) Flashback
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Missing by: Amy Lee
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
The young preistess sat alone in the dark of the night. Staring up at the sky, taking in the magnificent sight of the moon. She had been away from the group for quite some time now. She had wisely decided to travel on her own and to collect the jewel shards by herself.
She honsetly didn't understand why she kept going. Why should she care about the damned jewel shard that had caused her nothing less or more than agony?
She stretched out across the soft, green grass beneath her, recollecting the memory of the night that she had left her companions.
-FLASHBACK BEGINS-
"Kikyou's soul collectors" Stated the preistess, with the sound of despair apparent in her normally angelic voice. She watched from a distance, as the soul stealers flew through the trees, knowing that the person whom she loved so dearly would be following closely behind, hoping to be guided to their master.
'Why must you always do this to me InuYasha?' Thought Kagome, as she watched the soul stealers disappear into the depths of the dark forest.
'You know that I can't go on like this, it's hurting me so much just to be with you' She had a sudden heart-breaking epiphany. She would leave on this night. It was only for the best, InuYasha and the others would understand.
This would leave a space for Kikyou to fill, and this would make InuYasha happy. Battling Naraku with the one that he loved, the one that he had always loved.
She went to the hut where the others were, rolled out her sleeping bag and crawled in without a word to her companions.
They fully understood what was going on and decided it best not to speak of the issue. Sango and Miroku merely glanced at one another with knowing looks adorned upon their faces.
Kagome lay there with her back to her four companions, trying not to cry. She would just suck it up and deal with it. Sure, it hurt more than any physical wound that she had ever experienced, but just as a physical wound, she would have to deal with it.
About an hour later, she could hear InuYasha walk into the hut. She would act as if she were asleep, she wanted to hear his excuse for this visit with his dead love.
"InuYasha, what have you done this time?" Questioned Miroku, obviously worried about his companion known as Kagome. "Is Kagome asleep?" Asked InuYasha, not wanting to fess up in her presence.
"Yes she is, now answer my question InuYasha" Answered the monk, closing his eyes, awaiting the pathetic excuse. "I saw Kikyou's soul collectors, I had to go see her." Answered InuYasha. "And how do you think Kagome feels about what you have done to her, yet again?" Questioned the monk, obviously agitated with the selfish half demon's actions.
"I...I'm not sure..." Answered InuYasha, sheepishly. "What the hell do you mean your not sure!" Screamed Sango, jumping up to get in InuYasha's face. "You fully know how much this hurts her, yet you continue to pull these foolish stunts! One day she will leave you for good InuYasha, and you will regret it!" Yelled Sango, in pure rage.
"I'm sorry Sango but I can't break my sworn promise to Kikyou, Kagome understands that..." Answered InuYasha, cooly. "No InuYasha, she doesn't, in fact, I don't think that anyone understands you. And what of the promises you have made to Kagome, do they suddenly vanish into thin air the moment you see Kikyou's soul collectors?" Questioned Sango, hate and anger obvious in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, but I must keep my first promise to my first love. I cannot stay with Kagome forever." Stated InuYasha, in all of his stupidity.
"Damn you InuYasha! You are so pathetic! You don't deserve Kagome, the person that truely deserves Kagome is Kouga. But, she loyally stays by your side, knowing that Kouga would love her so much more than you ever will. She loves you, but you are so foolish that you cannot see that." With that, Sango went to the other end of the hut to lay down and try to get some sleep.
Miroku too, layed down in an attempt to catch some much needed sleep. Kagome just lay there, motionless. She had heard the whole conversation. She was now fighting with all of her strength to hold back the tears. InuYasha had decided to also try to catch up on some sleep, acting as if nothing had happened. Shippou, oddly, had not said a word. He and Kirara had followed Sango and layed beside her, drifting off to sleep.
Kagome lay there, letting about an hour and a half go by before she decided to attempt her escape without being caught by InuYasha. She slowly slid from her sleeping bag, rolled it up, grabbed her yellow bag and bow and arrows. She slowly walked towards the hut exit. Once she reached it, she looked back to her companions. She would miss them so. She glanced over to the one that she still held so close to her heart.
Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again.
Maybe some day you'll look up, and, barely concious, you'll say to no one "Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my abscence, I know - You forgot me long ago.
She turned back to the hut exit and walked out quietly, as not to wake the sensitive ears of a certain Hanyou. As soon as she got far enough away from the hut, she broke out into a sprint, letting her tears flow freely down her pale cheeks. She ran as if a demon were on her heels, threatening to torture and kill her. In a way, that was the truth. If the demon awoke, he would bring her back, torturing her soul, and eventually, crush it, leading to her demise.
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
-End Flashback-
Ah, how that memory pained her heart, she held it dear, for it had been an accomplishment. It had taken all of her strength to leave him.
She continued to look up at the moon, seeing InuYasha in it. "Some accomplishment. I still can't let you go..."She let an old wound re-open and with it came the pain of memory, and with that memory and pain, tears followed closely behind. She cried for the feeling of something lost, for the feeling of her own insignificance, for the feeling of something...missing.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
"Dammnit InuYasha, why did I have to fall in love with you? Why can't I let you go?" Cried Kagome in despair as she lay in the grass, feeling helpless. "You always pleaded for me to stay with you, and when I agreed, you would always go back to her. Why?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice, you won't try for me, not now.
"You could have at least tried to forget her, but you won't try for me. You never did and you never will. You know that I would do anything, give anything, to know that you love me, but you don't"
Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
"I know that you went back to her the night that I left, you never came looking for me. You were probably overjoyed that I was gone. I'm sure that it is for the best, right? You are better off with Kikyou..."
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Inuyasha looked up into the night sky, hoping that Kagome was safe somewhere, under the same sky. Maybe she was looking up at the moon, just as he was.
He shut his eyes and rested his head up against the tree branch behind him. "I swear to you Kagome, I will find you and I will never hurt you again. I'm sorry Kikyou, but I won't be seeing you again. Kagome needs me and I need her. I don't love you as I thought I did. I admit that I was very foolish for leaving Kagome and I won't stop until I find her..." Said InuYasha, to himself, to Kagome, and Kikyou.
He opened his eyes, to once again look up to the moon, letting tears roll down his cheeks. It would hurt to leave Kikyou, but he knew that he must. She was not as she once was, and he knew that if Kikyou were herself she would want him and Kagome to be together. Her time on earth was gone, she was now, nothing more than a soul stealing, undead, walking clay pot.
Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself, I breath deep and cry out;
"Isn't something missing?"
"Isn't someone missing me?"
Kagome slowly pulled herself from the grass to stand. She was crying so hard that she could hardly breath. She cried until she began to gag. She walked over to where her yellow bag lay, reached inside, and pulled out a knife that she had aquired during her traveling.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed, knowing that you don't care.
She pulled her uniform sleeve up, away from her wrist. She held the blade of the knife to her exposed skin. She applied pressure to the knife, while guiding it across her wrist slowly.
"This is for you InuYasha, this is the pain I will feel until you come for me. I have tried to forget, to put my love for you behind me, but I cannot."
"I do this for you...I love you..."
Blood slowly trickled down the knife and onto the earth below her. The physical wound was no comparison to the spiritual one inside, but it was the best that she could do.
"Kikyou died for you, and if that is what it takes to make you understand my love for you, I will kill myself slowly, will that be enough? Enough to make you see?..." She cried in despair, letting the knife fall from her hand.
"I could understand if you had said that you don't love me, but you act as if you do. But, then you go back to her, leaving me behind, along with your promises."
She slowly fell to her knees, onto the now, blood stained earth below. She slowly let her body fall to lay on the cold earth. She lay there, staring up at the moon, hoping that her love would come for her, for she could not live without him.
She was now bleeding profusely from the wound which she had brought upon herself. She did not care, and she knew that Inuyasha didn't care either. This hurt so much. She was bleeding for him, yet he failed to come for her. She had done this to herself more times than she could count since she had left, hoping that he would sense her blood and come for her.
He never came, and she soon realized that this might be her last cut, her last chance to see him again. She had cut deep, deep into her flesh. Would InuYasha sence that she was dying? Would he come for her this time?
And if I sleep, just to dream of you, I'll wake without you there, isn't something missing?
She lay there, bleeding, until she began to drift into unconciousness. She would dream of InuYasha, dream of the days they had once shared together and cherish the memories. She slowly lifted her head to look towards a tree nearby. What she saw soothed her heart and gave her a feeling of hope. "Inuyasha..." And with that last word, she drifted off into unconciousness and maybe more.
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
Ok, I know that was really crappy, but oh well, I posted it anyways. If you don't like it I could care less, it wasn't meant to be anything amazing. But, if someone does like it, I will be very shocked and happy. (Which I really doubt anyone will) Anyways, it would be nice if someone would review. And, please, don't give me some stupid review saying something like "This was too dramatic, so dark...oh it disgusts me! Gag me!" It will just be a waste of my time and yours.
Miakoda