Night One
A wave of fear smashed over her body as he stepped toward her. He was so tall, strong, and…entirely handsome. She couldn't let these emotions take over. No, not now. She had to be strong. Her feet moved without her even thinking, and brought her into the moonlight in front of Anakin. The pure light of the moon hit her pale skin and shone off brightly, making Anakin's thoughts drift off faraway from the current situation.
He was brought out of his reverie by a voice that cracked like a whip, Amidala's voice. "Excuse, me? Did you hear me!?' She said in an angry voice as she saw his face change. Why he was slipping off into some dream world because she asked him a simple question she had no idea, but she wasn't about to wait for an excuse.
"I asked you a question!" Amidala now yelled, and gritted her teeth together as she stared icily at her husband. Her loud voice echoed down the majestic hallway, for anyone's ears to hear.
Anakin's face changed into a deep frown. "Do, try to be a little more, quiet please! You wanna wake everyone!" He hissed at her in a voice just above a whisper. He frowned and the light bounced off his face in an odd way before he turned and started walking away at a fast pace.
"Oh, no, you don't! COME BACK HERE GOD-DAMMIT!" Amidala
shrieked at him as she again grabbed her nightgown in her hands, to pick it up
off the floor so she might not trip on it, and started dashing after him again.
The pat pat
When he heard the swear escape her lips he stopped walking. The sound of his boots ceased and he turned and faced her with a broad smirk on his rakish face. He bent his down at the floor and started to snicker. She stopped startled, and tried to think of why he would be laughing at her now of all times. Her face must have changed, she must have been wearing a puzzled frown, because his snickering turned into down-right laughter.
"What in the hell do you find funny Anakin!" She shrieked at him as she started walking up toward him in a furious manner. Somehow, he seemed to always know the most inappropriate thing to do in a situation, and he could never restrain himself from showing off his knowledge of such immature origin. When she reached him she stood in front of him; her face crumpled and angry.
He pulled up his head, and leveled his gaze with hers. "I don't think I've ever heard you actually cuss before…congrats!" Anakin said in a mocking tone of voice, well, what Amidala took as a mocking tone of voice. His eyes weren't mocking though…those eyes, there bright, piercing blueness shone so brightly even in the darkness, if she started into them any longer she'd be lost forever in their deep blue warmth…if only they were more inviting…no, she must never let herself fall into those eyes, it would be the end of her…
Anakin sighed deeply and let his proud shoulders slouch down. "I've got to go, but I promise I'll be back, ok?" He asked, now in a tired voice. One that was mixed a little with annoyance. She could barely make see the outline of his face it was so dark where they were standing. Amidala wouldn't take that for an answer. Why was he always leaving so late at night?
If his height didn't tower over her quite so badly, she might have felt a little surer of herself. Noticing that she was still clutching onto her nightgown, she relaxed her hands let them fall to her sides. "Ani, please, don't just push me aside. I really need to know what's wrong with you, and why you've been leaving. Please?" She asked meekly, it was late, and she was so tired from her long run after him. Sleep was pulling at her eyelids even as she spoke.
Anakin frowned, but Amidala couldn't tell, it was much too dark for her too see. "Goodbye, Amidala." He said in a voice that would leave no room for an answer. He walked off, at an even pace, and left her standing in the middle of the cold, dark hallway, alone. She stood frozen for quite sometime, and then slowly turned around and dragged her emotionally and physically tired body back to her room.
"Please, Ani, if you could just listen to what I have to say." Amidala pleaded with her husband. Rain pelted her body, stinging each spot it hit. The wind bit at her face and ears, but she couldn't let him go, not now. She had to at least try to reason with him. She looked up as a star fighter piloted its way to the battle. The battle…the one that wouldn't be fought here, the one that would be fought so faraway.
Apparently Anakin had seen the star craft leaving also. "Amidala, you know I have to go. I have no choice, the republic needs me…" He trailed off as he stared up at the sky to watch two more fighters leave. Rain hit his face, and when he lowered his gaze Amidala could make out tiny droplets of water on his dark eyelashes as he stared at her waiting for her response.
Between the biting wind and the cold rain, Amidala was now a cold, wet, mess. It started to rain even harder, but Amidala didn't even notice. She plopped down in the mud, and took a look around her. How could Naboo not last? So, so, much beauty would leave the universe if it were to perish. Also, with Naboo, would go the greater part of her heart and soul.
Her gaze met such lively trees, packed with bright green leaves. Then, of course the flowers, so many wonderful colors, pink, blue, purple, red, white, it was endless beauty. Even the muddy grass she was now sitting in seemed so beautiful in her mind. The dark gray sky even seemed to have a stunning kind of beauty. The rain, the wind, the life; it was all a part of the planet she loved. How would she live it were gone?
How could they're be so much beauty in one place? Yet, only a few miles away, havoc, panic, and fear. How could everything co-exist like this? One minute she would be here, in one of the royal gardens; yet, the next moment she would be in the hanger, where everything spelled panic. She decided to eat up the peacefulness while she could, it might be the last time she could behold such a serene sight.
"Amidala? What are you doing?" Anakin's voice ripped into her thoughts of beauty and peacefulness. She had made quite the sight of herself: Soaked to the bone, muddy, and most likely sick. Anakin frowned as he thought of his own fatigue. Piloting today was defiantly not going to be a picnic with the state he was in. He could feel his Jedi robe pull down at his shoulders; it was drenched completely now. What was Obi-wan going to say?
Say something! "I…uh…I was…you wouldn't understand..." She said quietly. Amidala let--no, she welcomed the rain. She shut her eyes and reveled in the feel of it on her skin, this was Naboo's rain, it was Naboo's wind, and she welcomed anything from her wonderful planet. She wouldn't be able to leave, it would kill her, she knew it would.
Anakin watched her with curiosity. He had never seen Amidala actually get herself dirty on purpose. "She must be delirious," He thought to himself after looking at her for a short while, after all she was babbling and sitting in the mud. "Uh, maybe you should just come inside with me, so you might get changed?" He suggested to his wife as he took a few steps closer to her, the mud making funny sounds as he moved his boots.
Her face changed suddenly as his words reached her. "No! I want to stay out here! Don't you dare move me either!" She yelled at him, her eyes flashing open to make sure he wouldn't move her from where she was enjoying Naboo for the last time. Watching Anakin with a suspicious look on her face she put her legs out in front of her; thus ruining her white outfit to the fullest extent.
Sighing, Anakin shrugged his shoulders and took a few more steps toward her and plopped himself down in the mud beside his wife. She was startled, to say in the least, but she laughed at him. Now, they were both very muddy, and very wet. Her hand found his, and she leaned her head up against his wet Jedi robe.
He was startled when their hands met, why he didn't know. His heart beat even faster when she leaned her head up against his shoulder. Why should he feel these emotions now, of all times? They'd been married, for almost a year now, he thought he had finally got over his boyish feelings. He clutched her hand tightly and craned his neck upwards to the gray sky above.
Anakin watched the clouds move in the sky, not minding the blinding rain that was hitting his eyes as he did so. They were moving so fast; wouldn't this storm ever end? The storm sure wasn't stopping the fighters from taking off; Obi-wan would have his head if he didn't leave soon. It wasn't like he could just leave Ami in this sort of state, though.
Amidala suddenly wrapped her arms around his waist, and pulled herself closer to him. The sudden advance made Anakin almost jump. It made him want to scream, this urge to jump when the woman he loved touched him. He wished with all his heart that he could be more comfortable with her, because he did love being with her.
"Ani, I just…it's just…I wish…no…I mean I…" Amidala trailed off as she tried to find the words to say. How could she tell him, that she had this feeling that if he went he would never come back to her. He would never believe her, he'd pass it off as mindless worrying, but it was so much more. She had never had a feeling like this before. What would she do, when she lost him and Naboo? No, she couldn't think of that, the pain would kill her if she did.
"I'll be fine, I promise. I'll come back in once piece, I swear." Anakin answered in inward fears. His answer didn't satisfy her though. She still had that deep feeling of dread…oh, how she wished it would go away. "Why don't you just believe me? Have I ever lied to you before?" He asked her when he sensed he persisting doubt.
Amidala thought about his words for a moment. No, he kept every promise he made. She'd just have to bury her fear. "I…guess, but please be careful! And don't go off late at night…I just have a bad feeling about it." She said to him, and looking into his eyes she saw something she had never seen before. She couldn't place her finger on just what it was, the memory of going off alone at night? "It's was odd…that look in his eyes, they don't even look like Anakin's eyes…" She thought to herself as she slowly lowered her gaze to the mud at their feet.
"Please don't talk about that." His voice was also different now. Almost…scary? A shiver went up her spine, his eyes, his voice, they were bone chilling. He changed so quickly, it was like it wasn't even him anymore. She stared at him trying to search for an answer to her questions and fears, but she did not find anything in his face.
"Well, I just think that it is awfully odd how you run off at night." Amidala said matter-of-factly, hiding her rising fear. She felt Anakin struggle free from her grasp and could almost feel his rage in the air around her.
"DROP IT, Ok?" He yelled at her as he got to his feet quickly. She tried to hide her amazement at his sudden change of mood. This was getting so weird…how could someone be so loving in one second, and on the next yelling and screaming? It just didn't make any sense to her, but she wouldn't think of it. Amidala knew she would get no answer, and didn't waste any of her energy on the matter, she was much too tired.
"Why don't you just tell me what going on!" She screeched back him as she struggled to her own feet almost slipping in the mud in her haste. Naboo, and all the beauty she had been thinking about went to the dark corners of her mind. She could think of nothing but death; death of everything and everyone. Anakin was acting so strange, Naboo was going to get conquered, and most of all her heart was dying from the strain. Neither her, nor Anakin even noticed the rain and the biting chill of the wind now.
"I said drop it, dammit!" Anakin repeated himself he turned and started to leave. How could he leave without a goodbye? Amidala hurried after him, her boots splashing mud every which way as she ran.
"Oh, Ani, please, just tell me goodbye!" She cried after him, she watched the strong muscles of his back stop moving, and then he turned and faced her. His face was different now, almost Anakin again. The tears she had been holding back for so many years, suddenly came when she saw Anakin's stony expression.
She cried for everything, yet nothing. Amidala cried about her short childhood, the weight of the responsibilities that had been thrown upon her, her love for Anakin, her love for Naboo, and for her loss. Her body dropped onto to the earth and she bawled like she had never cried before in her life. She tried to stop but that only made it worse.
Her hands covered her face, and she bent forward to try to hide herself from the gaze of her husband. Again, she noticed the rain, the cold, and her utter hopelessness. Tear weren't enough for all of this pain, how could she go on? It hurt so bad, she couldn't stand it. Still, she cried, not knowing of anything else that would bring her solace.
Anakin watched her cry. It tore him apart inside, but that other voice, that strong voice said no. No, he couldn't go to her, but she needed him. He had to go, but he couldn't, if he did he knew he would pay later… Anakin fought his inner battle, as he did everyday. It was just getting too hard to fight anymore, it was too painful, if he gave in, maybe, there would be no more pain…
Amidala chocked on her tears for a moment and then she pulled her hand away from her face and moved her body up straight, still crying. She stared at Anakin, pleading with his eyes, to come to her, to help her. He wouldn't come though, there was nothing she could do. When the realization registered in her mind, her body again slouched and she started to cry harder than she had ever done before in her life.
Anakin had made up his mind, and he had won. Not he, as in Anakin, he as in Darth Vader.
Amidala sat on her high bed with her bar legs dangling over the side as she brushed her dark hair slowly. She pulled the tie of her satin robe tighter with her free left hand, and then her eyes searched her room quickly for a hair tie. She saw one on her dresser and quickly dropped her brush onto the softness of her bed as she hopped down onto the floor.
The thick, warm carpet felt nice on her bare feet as she made her way over to her cherry wood dresser. As she grabbed the hair tie, she saw a note by the mirror. She pulled the hair tie around her wrist and snatched up the note to read it.
She crumpled it up in a fury, and threw it to the floor. She stomped her foot and looked straight ahead at her reflection in the mirror with a less than happy look on her face. Tears were forming at the brim of her eyes, but this was beyond tears. How could he do this to her? He couldn't be gone, he couldn't. He would have to tell her goodbye at least! She hadn't seen him for so long…and he swore he'd come back!
A sudden wave of anger past through her and she picked up a clear, thick glass perfume bottle and hurled it at her mirror. She wasn't near as satisfied as she thought she would be when she heard the crash! of the glass as it shattered into many pieces in front of her. Amidala stared blankly at a piece of glass that was lodged in her right arm two inches below her wrist.
Her face didn't change as she pulled the piece of glass out slowly, feeling pain shoot up her arm. A trail of blood ran down the side of her arm, and then fell to the white carpet. She watched the blood trickle down her arm with mild curiosity for a few moments.
A knock at her door brought her to her senses as she quickly looked around her room, for what, she did not know. The anonymous stranger knocked again at her door, this time much harder. Who it could be, Amidala had no idea. Obviously not Anakin, she had read his note, she wished she hadn't, but she had. Amidala forgot about the gash on her arm and made her way to the door slowly.
She opened the door and to her utter amazement it was…it was Anakin!!! He was cloaked, but she knew it was him. "Oh, its, its, its you!" she said in spite of her amazement. Amidala came forward and threw her arms around him and pressed her check up against his chest.
"I can only stay, for…for tonight." Anakin said slowly as he looked down each side of the hall before walking inside the doorway into Amidala's room. "What in the hell happened to your mirror?" He asked as he saw her mirror in many pieces all over the floor. When he had cleared the doorway he shut the door noiselessly and looked to Amidala for an answer.
"I-I broke it." She said matter-of-factly. Amidala stared down blankly at her cut arm again, trying to make it register in her head that her arm was hurting. The pain in her arm was nothing compared to that of the pain in her soul, though. Anakin followed her gaze, and when he saw her cut arm he stepped a few feet closer.
"Your arm! Let-let me get something for it…" He mumbled as he walked off to the bathroom. Amidala watched him walk away. She couldn't figure out why he was here…his note, it had said he'd be gone…forever.
Anakin hurried back to her, holding a bandage and a wet washcloth. He motioned for her to sit on her bed so he could fix up her wound. She walked over and hopped onto the bed, knocking her hair brush to the floor as she did so. Anakin kneeled onto both of his knees and took her arm in his hands, he had such beautiful hands, and washed the blood off her arm with the washcloth.
After he had the bandage in place he stared up into Amidala's sorrowful brown eyes. How could he have done this to her? Or to himself, for that matter. He thought that in doing this that the pain would be gone, but it wasn't defiantly not gone. He'd have to think of Amidala everyday, and when he did…no, thinking about the future would kill him. He'd take it…one day at a time…then maybe, only then, could he await the day when all the pain would be gone…
"Ani, please, don't leave me here…not like this...please…" Amidala pleaded him as she slipped off her bed and into his arms. She cried into his shoulder, as it should have been that day so long ago in the gardens. He put his arms around her and pressed her body to his. If this didn't kill, nothing ever would.
Her sobbing was muffled little by Anakin's shoulder, and he stroked her thick, brown hair without thinking. After a long while she stopped crying and pulled away from him, and looked into his eyes. He looked back into hers, now puffy and red, but still the most beautiful eyes in the universe to him.
She'd done it. She had told her self for years now. Why had she done it? Fallen into those eyes, got lost in their warmth, took in their love, only to have her heart broken? She had done it, against her own will. She knew her heart would never been able to be found again, because those eyes would be dead forever soon, and they would take her heart with them.
Anakin stood up suddenly, and a wave of fear crashed over her. He wasn't leaving he now! No, he couldn't! She wasn't ready yet! She stood up also, and her eyes darted to the door and back to him, pleading for him to stay with her for just a little longer. She would revel in every second that he was here with her…
He didn't move just looked at her, then turned. He mind screamed at her to stop him, but she just stared. There was nothing she could do now, it was over. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she bit her lip and tried to hold them back. She blinked quickly trying to avoid the tears that just wouldn't go away.
To her amazement he didn't leave, he turned her light off. She stared at him, her mind was trying to grab one of thoughts that was flying in and out of her grasp. Her thoughts were swirling, and she couldn't grab even one. As Amidala stood there confused Anakin went over to her window and pulled the curtains open. Moonlight came streaming in from the tall window, the cathedral ceilinged room seemed much bigger in the dark.
Anakin strode over where his wife was standing in utter confusion. He bent over ever so slightly and grabbed up her small hands in his bigger ones and led her over to her bed. He bent his head down and looked deep into her eyes. "Ami, I know I've hurt you, and I won't ask for forgiveness, because I know I don't deserve any. But, I just want you to know…know I'll never love anyone or anything like I love you. And by god! Someday, someday, Ami, we'll meet again. I swear on everything holy, that one day we'll be together again…" He said as he looked straight into her eyes. A solitary tear streaked down her cheek at his words and ran over her lip, down to her chin.
"And, Ami, all those nights I was gone…I would have rather been by your side than anywhere else in the universe. God dammit, I was just to damn stupid to see it!" He cursed and turned his head. Pain was the only word to describe their emotions. Anakin turned his back to look at his wife, and he saw she was crying. Without making a sound, Amidala cried now. The tears flowed down her cheeks, but she made no noise.
Anakin brought his body closer to hers and dropped her hands. With his right hand he wiped the tears off the inside of her nose and cheeks. Amidala opened her mouth to speak, but Anakin placed a finger over her soft, pink lips. He wrapped his left arm around her waist and pulled her close to him.
"I love you…" He whispered as he dropped his finger from her lips and leaned closer to her and placed his lips on hers. A million emotions surged through Amidala as he kissed her…she didn't know why, he had kissed her so many times before, but never quite like this…her emotions swirled in her head, almost making her dizzy, oh the feeling was greater than wonderful it was, so…
She deepened the kiss and pulled up her arms and wrapped them around his neck. Anakin turned so that Amidala's back was against the bed and kissed her with such passion that her knees felt weak, and she could barely keep her hold on the back of his neck. He kept his left hand around her waist while his left untied the tie to her robe.
A shiver went up her spine when he untied her robe. She couldn't understand where these emotions were coming from…she was twenty-six years old, not seventeen. But, those hands made her mind reel, and go crazy with emotion, there had never been so many emotions in one feeling before in all the history of the universe she was sure.
Anakin slid both his around her waist underneath her robe, and after a moment he pulled away from their kiss. She looked up into his eyes and saw the burning passion in them. Amidala felt his hands slide over her stomach, and thought he might leave again. "He couldn't! not now!" Her mind thought wildly.
Instead of leaving he slipped his hands over her shoulders, and knocked her satin robe to the floor. He leaned forward, and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Ami," He whispered to her before he pressed his lips to hers and pushed her up higher on the bed.
::END::
End Note~ Like it? Hate it? Please, tell me!! :-)