One Last Yearn

Disclaimer: I have no right on the Characters of Supernatural, the plot of the TV show or all that other stuff. Y'know the song... They still won't give me Cas or Crowley... *sob*

Warning: Character Death. Blood.

Summary: Dean is human once more and he and Cas may get the chance to finally overcome their fears and admit their feelings. But that would be too easy right? Maybe there's more Demon in Dean than they all thought. Maybe he will be the death of Cas at some point. Eventual Destiel. Character Death.

Blue eyes narrow at the hunter, the human hunter, in front of them. Dean is healed, his body is human, there's nothing black or evil left in them. At least not more than any other day. His green eyes reflect feelings once more, but Castiel is not convinced that all of those are good. He can see happiness, about being himself again without the need to kill anyone after the mark of Cain forced him to do so this often. It strained Dean's body, it was killing him. And then Crowley woke him back up, made a demon out of his hunter. But Castiel could save him, he once more was ready to risk his life to save the man he loves. He would do it again and again as long as it keeps Dean save. He went through a lot, there's a lot he should never have witnessed or survived, maybe. But he did and now he tries to live with it even if it's destroying him. That's why Castiel tries to help him. And now those green eyes are alive again. But there's not only happiness. There's anger. Anger at himself for allowing this all to happen. Anger at Crowley for turning him into a Demon. And, what shocks Castiel, anger at the angel, for changing him back. With the demon powers there was a strength, a agility and a endurance in him that he will miss. And yet, there's also something the angel can't differ and that's what worries him the most. Carefully he takes a step closer, clearly invading Dean's personal space,

'' Dean, is something wrong? '' Dean's eyes fall close as Castiel's voice runs through the room. The smoothness in it always was something that could make Dean feel... strange. As the human's not responding, Castiel takes another step towards him on what green eyes abruptly snap open to look at him with an intensity that knocks the air out of Castiel's lungs for the briefest moment,

'' Dean's what's the matter...'' Carefully, almost like Dean could bite him, he raises his arm to place a hand on Dean's shoulder but he's not reacting to it. Then, suddenly, Dean lashes out at him, grabs the angel on his collar and pulls him towards him for a deep, crushing kiss. The gasp of shock gets simply swallowed by Dean's lips. Castiel's shoulders tense, his back straightens what only seems to press their lips a little more together and his heart beats faster in his ribcage. Half of him is telling him to break the intimacy, to avoid doing any more sin than he already did to maybe save himself from falling a little longer. But the other, maybe needy part of him is melting against the stronger body in front of him. Slowly his eyes flutter close and his body grows limp as he feels Dean's strong arms wrapping around his waist to press his body against the human one. Carefully Castiel's arms rise, slightly sliding along Dean's body while that so that one hand can place over his chest, right over Dean's beating heart, and the other on his cheek. His thump caressing the slight stumbles on his face, the freckles and movements of flesh when his cheek twitches under the soft touching. Soon the angel catches himself begging god to never let this moment end again. How can something be bad when it feels this good? How can his brothers despise something that is this truly beautiful. A wave of pure emotion fills every fiber of his being. An unfamiliar and yet comfortable numbness clouds his brain and numbs the small part of guilt. For a moment Dean stops moving and in this small moment, Castiel fears he did something wrong. Or that Dean maybe changed his mind and will push him off again only to pretend that nothing had happened. If he'd do this, the angel is not sure he could take it. The bond he shared with Dean has always been a lot stronger than it was supposed to be, his mind was always too focused on the human. And over the time, his heart, Jimmy's heart, grew to love him. By now it feels like everything inside him only works for Dean. In one heartbeat Dean tightens his grip on him and puts more heat into the kiss, biting and sucking on Castiel's lower lip. Dean's mouth opens faintly and a tongue presses against his lips, asking, demanding entrance which Castiel's just all too willing to give. Slowly, still unfamiliar with the concept of tongue-kissing, he allows the hunter's tongue to invade his mouth and move along almost every teeth, every part of flesh. It's like he wants to explore his mouth with his tongue. Carefully Castiel moves his own tongue to meet Dean's. A sparkle runs through his body as Dean gives a growl of satisfaction before probing their tongues against each other in a passionate dance. Another muffled noise goes from Castiel right into Dean's mouth but this time it comes closer to a moan. His head is spinning with a new feeling, a pleasant warmth grows the pit of his stomach and his heat increases. The hand on Dean's heart moves to wrap around his neck with another needy noise, to keep the human in place even if there's no real movement coming from the human that would make Castiel believe he would break the kiss anytime soon.

The sudden feeling of pain ripping through his body and the sound of flesh tearing apart causes Castiel to halt. His eyes open in one beat as he realizes that it was his body that made this sound and that there must be something hurting him right now. He can taste blood in his mouth, he's hurt. He's hurt badly, every muscle in his body burns. Blood seems to well up in his throat, he tries to swallow but he can't. Just when he has to cough some of it up, Dean leans back just enough for Castiel to be able to open his mouth properly. A few drops of blood strike his face but he doesn't flinch. Castiel's eyes are unfocused, everything around him is changing into a blur. He forces himself to focus, to push down the pain and look at the man in front of him but as soon as his sight gets better he wishes he could just go blind again. Instead of being met with those loving green eyes, he only sees two black orbs that seem to stare a hole into his head. Castiel's eyes narrow and a mix of frustration and the urge to break down crying wells up inside of him,

'' D-Dean... why...- '' His voice breaks off before he can finish. He thought Dean was cured, but he was demon all along. He never became human again, it was just a trick. Castiel was foolish enough to allow his feelings to get the better of him and now he has to pay the price for it. But, if he had just one wish, just one, he would wish for Dean to become who he was again. His body is shoved backwards a little as the blade in his body digs into him deeper but Castiel keeps his hands where they are. Slowly, he moves the hand on Dean's neck up to place right beneath one black eye before his own eyes move down. A ironic, pain-filled smile pulls on the edges of his mouth as he sees the angel blade sheathed deep within his body, the white light glowing around it telling him that his life is ending now.

'' How ironic...'' He mumbles with a raspy voice as his eyes move back to Dean's. They all warned him, Dean Winchester will be the death of him, one way or the other. But he didn't listen to them. He ignored any warning that came upon him, he didn't believe them. Though, maybe he did. But he didn't want to believe it. He wanted to blend out the evil, dangerous side in the hunter before him because he didn't dare think it could end like this. Dean isn't reacting to his smile or his words, he just stares down at the dying angel without any real emotion. Castiel's fingers clench into the gray shirt Dean wears as his body sinks slowly to the ground. The hand on his eyes moving up slightly to cover those black eyes. Maybe, if he only believes in it strong enough, he can imagine those eyes to be green again. But his head is spinning, his eyes fall close. Everything around him seems to fade into darkness. There's not much he can think up right now, yet he looks up at Dean with a silent plead.

The demon's lips curl to a smile as he realizes what Castiel intends to do by covering his eyes. It's almost cute how he tries to hold onto something that is long gone. For a small moment, he feels almost something like regret. Almost.

Castiel's lips turn into a small smile as he looks up at his hunter. This is not the demon, this is his Dean. The Dean that would give his life to protect the people he loves. The Dean that would do everything for his little brother. The Dean that refused to leave purgatory without him and told him how much he needed him. For a moment the pain in his eyes changes into something loving; longing, even. But as every bit of feeling leaves his body he lowers completely to the ground so that he sits on his knees and his upper body slacks against Dean's legs. His eyes simply fall close. He's not dying with remorse because, at least in his imagination, he could see his Dean a last time. A final memory playing in front of his eyes as even the pain fades and he feels his life leaving his body...

We're family. We need you. I need you...

Dean looks down at Castiel as he stops moving and his body falls to the side. Like two large shadows, a pair of wings spreads out around him. There was no lighting like with the other angels when they got killed. Castiel didn't fight death, he welcomed it. He didn't struggle, he accepted. Because he died happy. Because he could see the Dean he was in love with a last time...

Castiel's heaven has no angels in it, at least not directly. There's no small garden or a river, he's not living in a house or on a bench. His heaven is a memory. The life he shared with Dean and Sam, Bobby, Alan, Jo and even Kevin and Crowley and Meg. His heaven is replaying the live he had since he met Dean. The ups and downs they shared, the pain, the happiness, the longing, the fear. The interest as they met for the first time, the hate Dean felt for him in the beginning, then the mutual understanding. The wish to be friends but at the same time the responsibility they had for their side. The burst of feeling as he was torn between heaven and Dean. The feeling as he rebelled for Dean, the friendship they shared. And then the hate he felt towards himself as he betrayed Dean's trust to win the war in heaven. The remorse. The love. Love was, at some point, everything that mattered but there was so much more to it than he thought. There was a lot Castiel felt since he met Dean, not everything was good and there surely where times where he wanted to leave everything behind and go back to heaven but in the end, all that mattered was him. They could break him, torture him, kill him and control him. But he didn't care. As long as they left alone Dean. Because everything that mattered to him, still matters to him, is Dean. And he will live through this life over and over until heaven will break into pieces and every soul will simply fade into nothing. Maybe, he will be reborn as a human this time and his and Dean's paths cross again. Maybe even he will get a second chance. And the moment Dean plugs the knife into his chest for the 1304th time, he promises himself he'll not do it wrong again. He'll fight for this to work out even if it kills him again...

Don't ever change...

Can't I ever write a Destiel fic where no one dies in it?! It's Valentines day dammit! I feel so depressed... I really need a happy fic but I think I have a depressed mind... I need ideas for a happy-

O.O!

OH MY GOD I KNOW!
How about an alternate ending to this one? Or -uhhhhh this is going to be good- a second chance where Castiel is reborn and meets Dean and slowly they remember their past lives and OMG I'm so going to do this now!

Please leave a review, I'd really like to know if you like the idea of that. Maybe I call it 'Second Chances'. Not very creative but hey, I just came up with that xD

Honestly, if you liked it please tell me or if you have any questions, suggestions, critiques, tell me. Every review is like... like... woah... I don't even know how to describe it... Well... it would make me really really really really extremely super duper happy xD

...Or maybe 'From Day One'...?