Seth knew that there was a lot riding on this match. His his ability to fight against four instead of the regular one or two, and most of all, his right to keep his title as "kingslayer" because who was he to be a slayer of beasts if he couldn't get through the goons? The most important factor that was on the line though was his pride. His dignity to prove that he was no longer the NXT rookie nor the Shield architect with the bleach blond strip in a desperate attempt to be different.
He was also nobody's puppet. Seth made that clear when he beat Triple H and claimed the right to a nickname and a motto, "I'm Seth Freakin' Rollins and I'm the Kingslayer."
Yet for some reason there was this feeling of doubt that kept swelling up inside of him. It wouldn't let him go no matter how many times he thought of all his victories against the biggest of the bad, and of Dean. Dean Ambrose was his own category so the reassurance that he was able to beat him should have helped, but it did not. Instead it made it worse. "It'll be fine. I can get through this," Seth muttered to himself
All of these thoughts happened within the time-span of a commercial as he lazily pet his dog and cat. Both had it made easy. The cat with his own chair and the dog given as much love as a father would (not that the cat didn't receive love, but he preferred it on his own terms). The soothing motions of hand running through fur and the other petting under a chin did nothing to quail this increasing feeling of panic though.
Suddenly Seth found himself curled up on the couch with the television off and his pets asleep in their own little beds. When did the time change? How did he get in this position? Why was he breathing heavy as if he just worked out?
Just as he was about to sit-up he found he was frozen. Not just any type of stuck in place, but paralyzed by the unknown fear. Panic started to skyrocket and before Seth could stop himself a tear trailed down his cheek. "Why? Why of all times?" he quietly asked himself. Slowly he forced his hand to move so he can wipe away the tears, the weakness that's wanting to pour out of him. He still had no idea how he was curled up on the couch, but that didn't seem important right now. First he had to sit-up and reach his phone.
With each number though a breath was taken and let out, "One... two... three...four...", yet all it did was make him feel as if he was constricting his own breathing. "This is all just a trick. It has to be," Seth said to himself as he forced himself to reach out for his phone. Out of all the people in his contact lists there was only one person that he could trust to face in this vulnerable state with no backlash from it.
As the dial tone rang and rang Seth's clinched his phone like a life life while his other hand fiddled with some string poking off of his shirt.
" 'Saro speaking." Cesaro stated as he rubbed his eyes and tried his best not to sound tired. He didn't even see who it was that called him so late. Cesaro sat up in his bed and yawned as he waited for a replay. He knew that he didn't have to say anything as he could hear quick breaths being taken. "Well whoever has called me is breathing as if something has happened. Deep breaths."
"That didn't work!" Seth snapped as a lump formed in his throat. Cesaro's eyes widen as now not only did he know who it was, but the reaction he received was not one he expected from his friend and car-ride partner. "Sorry, Seth. It is the first thing that comes to mind. Do you want to talk about it?" The other end was silent save for puffs of air that were let out when Seth tried to take deep breaths. The hand that was messing with his shirt had now brushed a piece of hair behind his ear as he shook his head. "Yeah, if that's okay with you?" Seth noticed he whispered the question. Did he feel that all these emotions were taboo to not ask for help? Either way he heard Cesaro say his name and he was snapped back to reality: a phone clutched in his hand, his other hand twirling his hair nervously, and his friend on the other end staying up with him despite just being asleep to help him.
"So what is troubling you?" Cesaro asked. He tried to use a soothing voice, but all it did was put Seth on edge even more, as if he was at a counselor office. "Umm, I was with my dog and cat watching tv and then I was thinking about the fatal five-way, which I know I can do because, but then this feeling of nervousness appeared and just kept growing and growing and before I knew it I was curled up on the couch with both my pets gone." Seth rambled. He knew he did. There was no need for Cesaro to know about his pet "I mean I tried that take deep breaths, but it did shit. It only made me feel worse, like I was suffocating." With a frustrated noise he yanked at his hair and winced, "I'm not even sure why I called you."
As Seth spoke Cesaro listened carefully. "Seth, you're having a panic attack and I must commended you for calling me through it and speaking to me about it." Both lines were quiet before Seth broke it by asking, "Really? I'm panicked about something I've done before? How is that even possible?!"
Anxiety, helplessness, and now rage? All of this was too much for Seth and tears that he kept trying to hold back started rolling down his face. It's not as if Cesaro would know. He made no sobs or crying sounds. Seth was quietly crying for this lack of understand about himself.
"It's possible because you either have too much on your shoulders or because life is affecting you more." Cesaro paused for a moment before asking, "Would you like somebody, besides your dog and cat, with you?" At that Seth froze, his panic in overdrive at the thought of somebody seeing him this weak. He couldn't even shake his head as he squeaked out a denial. Cesaro just made an approval noise.
"What did you eat today?" Cesaro asked as he laid back down in bed. At that Seth made a questioning face and slowly replied, "Coffee, vegetables, protein. You know, the usual." As the silence continued for a few seconds Seth took a deep breath and asked Cesaro the same question. "Oh I too had coffee and then I had an interview so I had to deal with the hotel free breakfast, which was not too bad this time." A few more seconds went by before they both started having a regular conversation that went later into the night about their schedules, the type of fans they were meeting, how each of them are doing on Xavier's game channel.
Before Seth knew it the sun was slowly rising. He realized that all the negative emotions he felt earlier disappeared. "Well the sun is coming up. Sorry for keeping you up so late." "No problem. I am always free. But remember..." Cesaro paused for a while until Seth asked, "What?"
"You're not just a kingslayer or Seth Freakin' Rollins. You're Seth with two adorable pets who loves anything with energy in it too much, and has a friend on speed-dial."
That took Seth back a bit. He thought Cesaro would say that he was that, but instead told him he was normal. He was just a normal human being and, if he thought about it, so was everybody else right now. A breath of relief was released, "Thanks, man. I owe you one."
"Anytime, friend." Cesaro smiled as he replied. "Now as you said the sun is up so I must get extra coffee now. Adios for now." Seth chuckled at that at did a salute he knew Cesaro couldn't see (but would probably picture), "Same to you, Captain."