I stayed in the damn phone booth for quite a while. I kept holding onto the phone, sort of, so I wouldn't pass out. After calling up old Sally while drunk as a bastard, I thought about giving Jane a buzz again. Boy, did I really miss her! The last time I heard of old Jane was when I finally left goddam Pencey. Stradlater also crossed my mind too, the moron. When I found out that he had a date with Jane, I was nervous as hell because I knew he would most likely give her the time. The thought of that idiot and old Jane in Ed Banky's car just gives me an ulcer, I'm not kidding. Maybe that's why I had blood in my guts tonight.

After just standing inside the phone booth for 5 minutes, I decide to man up, put the boldness in my voice, and call her up. I should have done it sooner to tell you the truth, because I was still a madman. When the phone started ringing, I started planning out my suave responses. With Jane, you gotta be the more suave than in the goddam movies. It also helped me sober up, in a way, so I don't sound like a madman. I really felt bad about calling her drunk, to tell you the truth. Her stepdad was always drunk when I was at her house, so she might tell that I am pretty wasted.

The last time I called Jane up, her mom answered it, but I didn't want to talk to her. It scares me that I have to anticipate that kind of crap. I hung up about 10 seconds in awkward silence when I called Mrs. Gallagher. But tonight, my stomach flipped upside down when I heard a sweet, soft voice answer.

"Hello," the voice said. My ears were not deceiving me, old Jane sounded the same.

"Hello." I answered without the same boldness. Boy, I sure do break my own rules a lot.

"Who is this?"

I had to do something. I've already got this far, so it's time to cut the crap.

"This is Holden, from Maine." I said with no bold voice. At least it sobered me up.

"HOLDEN! Oh, my god. Is it really you?" She sounded very concerned and happy at the same time. I can just imagine the muckle-mouth moving in ten different directions, which knocked me out a little.

"Yes, Jane. It's me. How are you?"

"Well, I just woke up and felt sleepy. Now I am fully awake." That killed me.

"Wait a minute," she said. "How are you calling me? Your school does not get out until Wednesday." With that question, I immediately thought of Stradlater. That bastard must of told her I was leaving Pencey.

"How did you know that?" I asked dully.

"Because that stupid jerk I went out with was your roommate. Ward, was it?"

That made me chuckle, it really did. For old Jane to call Stradlater a jerk pretty much answered that "professional secret." I had a feeling that Stradlater did not give her the time. Like I said, Jane is not like any other girls, and that's what knocks me out about her.

I would normally hang up the phone and just call it a day, but I trusted old Jane more than a lot of other people, and I haven't a goddam clue why. She just has this presence that lets you know that everything will be fine, I think. I told her why I am no longer at Pencey Prep, my plans to keep it low, that fat bastard Maurice and Sunny,and pretty much everything that happened to me after I left Pencey. I must've taken about 3 days just to recap. Jane was quiet the entire time, listening to all my crap. She probably fell asleep listening to me chew the fat, and I don't blame her. People explaining stuff, especially complicated stuff, can be such a bore.

When I finished, Jane was still awake.

"Holden," she finally said. "Are you okay?"

"Why? I'm okay." I really was.

"Because I'm worried about you."

My stomach felt like it did 2 more flips. I'm not kidding, she was sincerely concerned. You usually hear that crap from your phony counselor just to make you feel that he gives a damn about you more than anyone else right now. But that moment, I could hardly swallow. I didn't want Jane to worry about me. She's the one with the bright future, not me. She can't waste her time with a moron like me.

"Jane," I said. "I'm gonna be fine."

"Holden, what you're doing is dangerous. It seems you are sick and need help."

"Jane, I'm not sick. I haven't felt better in years." I lied. This entire trip was depressing as hell.

"Holden, you don't understand," she got a little louder. "You need to go home and talk with your folks about this."

"You know I can't do that. They'll kill me because I got kicked out."

"Or better yet, I'll pick you up and take you home to me. You need to get some sleep and rela-"

"I said I'm fine." I wished I didn't say that. After I did, I could hear small sniffles, the same sniffles from that one time we played checkers.

"Please, Holden! Please stop this! You're hurting all your loved ones!" She was bawling now, even harder than the last time she cried like this. I really felt lousy. To make her cry like this in the middle of the night makes me wish I dropped dead right there. This all reminded me of that checkers match at her house, but now I'm the booze hound.

"Hey, hey, hey," I tried my best to comfort her. Even a phony like Thurmer could do a better job at comforting others than me. "I will go back to my folks. Don't worry. It's not like I'm dying and all – really. I'm just having a little time to myself to clear my head a little before they get sore about it. I'm not going away forever."

Jane wasn't crying as much after I said that. She was starting to compose herself a little better.

"Just a quick question," she choked. "Is there anyone you really miss?"

I was two seconds away from denial, but I thought long and hard about it. I really did miss a lot of people, to tell you the truth. I missed Jane and Phoebe first and foremost, but I also missed Sally a lot, but not as much as old Jane and little Phoebe. I also missed Luce, even though I just talked to him earlier. When I think about it more, I missed every single person I met this entire time I left Pencey; from Stradlater and Ackley kid to the perverts squirting water at each other. It depressed the hell out of me.

"Well, I do miss my little sister Phoebe." I finally answered. I really did.

"Then go home tomorrow and take the crap now. You'll feel better in the long run." Old Jane was a lot smarter than I remember – not that she wasn't stupid or anything, but it seems she knows from experience or something. "If it makes it better, I can arrange a chauffeur to pick you up and take you to my place, no trouble."

"It's okay, Jane. Besides, I have a motel reservation, anyways." I shouldnt've lied to her.

"Well, the offer is on the table."

"Alright, I hope to see you again. Goodnight Jane." I almost hung up until she said this.

"Holden, if you need someone to talk to, I'm all ears. Even if we're in two different worlds, you'll always have my interest. I love you that much."

"Thanks, Jane. Love you too, good-bye." I finally hung up, but the receiver was still in my hand. I then proceeded to cry the hardest I've ever did. It probably looked really embarrassing, but I couldn't help it. I just didn't understand why I cried so much in that phone booth.

After that sissy breakdown, I finally left that damn booth. It seemed like I was in there for an hour and a half, but the clock showed one forty-five. Meaning I was in that booth for 10 goddam minutes talking to women. Women, they can really knock you out.