Title: Heaven

Rating: K+

Genre: Tragedy/Angst

Summery: Gibbs leaves Ziva with their little girl, Rachel. GIVA One-shot

Pairings: Established GIVA

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS or the song.

Point of View: Ziva

Author's Note: My inspiration for this came from the song 'Heaven 911 Remix' By DJ Sammy. The letter is the little girl in the song, with a few of my own variations. Please Read and Review but be kind this is my first GIVA. It might be a little out of character.

Enjoy

xxxPippy

- - - - - -

"Go brush your teeth Honey, it's time for bed" I told her gently.

"Okay Mummy" I watched my little Rachel as she ran to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. "All done!" She ran out and hugged me.

"Good girl." I carried her into the very pink bedroom. I put her onto her bed and tucked her in. "What's this?" I questioned, noticing a folded piece of paper on her small wooden table

"I wrote is last night."

"Can I read it?" I questioned curiously knowing how private she is, Rachel shook her head

"Only Daddy can read it…" She told me sternly "Can you please send it to him in Heaven?" A tear slid down my face as I remembered my husband and when I fell for him.

- - - - - FLASHBACK- - - - -


It was early on a Saturday morning Gibbs had called us in because of a case. I was the first to arrive; I sat down at my desk.

"Shalom Gibbs" I greeted noticing that he was looking at me.

"Morning Ziva" He replied. I smiled at him and then switched on my computer. For what seemed like hours we sat in silence, waiting for the others to get here. Then Tony walked out of the elevator.

"It's about time DiNozzo. You wait here for McGee. Meet me and Ziva in MTAC when he arrives." He told Tony.

"But Boss, why don't I just come with you and..."

"Shut up DiNozzo. Wait here for McGee." That was a little weird. I thought. Why would he make Tony wait for McGee? I followed him up to MTAC, where for once, there was no-one. Jenny was not there, the technicians were not there, no-one.

"Gibbs?" I questioned cautiously "Where is everyone?"

"I told Director Shepard that no-one need to be here, McGee can do all the technical stuff and I'm big enough to look after me and my team" He told me with a look on his face that I had never seen before, I could not work it out. He slowly walked over to the seat I was in. He sat down next to and grabbed my hand. With his other hand he turned my face to look at his. Then I realised what the look meant. I pulled away, I stood up and I went to leave but his hand stopped me, I was spun around and he kissed me. I could feel the warmth and smile in his kiss. It took me by surprise, at first I stood there, arms wide, then I wrapped them around his neck and right there, in that wonderful moment, I fell hopelessly in love.

- - - - - - - END FLASHBACK- - - - - - - - -

"Ima?" I was shook back into reality by the sound of Rachel's voice "Will you send it?"

"Sure Baby. I'll send it first thing in the morning." I replied reluctantly

"Thankyou Mummy, Goodnight, I love you very much."

"I love you too, Rachie." I kissed her forehead and left the room.

I sat down in the living room and thought of Jethro; he had died of cancer one year and one day ago. I remember the day he died.

- - - - - - - FLASHBACK- - - - - -


Jethro lay silently in his hospital bed, when Rachel and I entered.

"Hello Daddy" Rachel said

"Hey Rachie, Hey Ziva" Jethro greeted

"Hey yourself" I smiled and grabbed his hand "How are you?"

"Better now that I've seen you two" Rachel giggled and Gibbs smiled then coughed, blood trickled down the side of his mouth. He slowly closed his eyes and sighed then he slowly opened them again. I grabbed a tissue from my pocket with my free hand and wiped the blood away. "Thanks" He said

For awhile none of us talked, we just stayed as we were, enjoying each others company. The silence was broken when Tony entered the room.

"Uncle Tony!" Rachel screamed

"Hey Rachie." Tony greeted. Rachel jumped into his arms. "Hey Boss, hey Ziva." He said.

"Hi Tony." I answered, Jethro kept quiet.

"How are you?" Tony asked us, not directing the question to anyone in-particular.

"I'm fine thankyou Tony" I replied

"I'm good!" Rachel said still talking a little louder than necessary.

"Been better" Jethro replied, he coughed again and a little more blood trickled down the outside of his mouth, I wiped it away again and told him not to talk.

"Tony? Do you think you could…?" I asked him.

"Yeah sure, Come on Rachie let's go get some ice-cream."

"YEAH!" Rachel replied pulling on Tony's hand

"Todah Tony." I said as I watched them leave.

"Ziva?" Jethro asked me.

"I'm still here" I replied then squeezed his hand.

"I just want to tell you, this cancer has been really, really hard to deal with. But do you want to know what the hardest part is?" I nodded weakly, I knew he did not have long to live. "The hardest part of this is…" I watched him cough again. It was just so hard, so hard to watch him go through all this pain. "The hardest part of this is leaving you and Rachel." He told me affectionately "I love you; I love you both, with all my heart and soul"

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I felt his grip loosen, and I saw his eyes slowly close. It was just as if he was going to sleep. He looked so peaceful. "I love you too." I sobbed into his chest.

- - - - - - END FLASHBACK - - - - - -

Should I read it? Or keep her wish? I thought as I looked down at the paper 'Daddy' was printed across the front and there was a little drawing of two stick people, holding hands. I smiled then sighed and unfolded the paper. I softly read aloud.

To Daddy,

It's been a year now. I really, really miss you.

There was a sound of footsteps and I quickly refolded the paper and put it on the table next to me.

"Are you okay Rachie?" I called from the living room

"I can't sleep."

"Come here. You can stay with me until you do go to sleep." I told her talking her in my embrace. Rachel noticed the letter on the table.

"Do you want me to read it to you?" Rachel asked looking up at me.

"I would like that very much." I replied. Rachel leaned over me and grabbed the paper, she unfolded it and began to read.

To Daddy,

It's been a year now. I really, really miss you. Mummy says you're safe now, in a beautiful place called Heaven.

Tears started to roll down my cheeks as I remembered the day that Jethro had left us and I had to tell Rachel of his death.

- - - - - - FLASHBACK- - - - - - -


I was still sitting in Jethro's hospital room, even though the hospital staff moved his body half an hour ago, the tears were still streaming down my face.

"I can't believe he's gone; I will miss him so much." I told myself

"Who's gone Ima? Who will you miss?" She saw my tears "What's wrong Mummy?" I could sense her worry, she's only four, how will she cope? I asked myself, I sighed heavily "Come sit down" I told her, she walked over to me and then Tony walked in,

"Rachel? …Oh sorry Ziva" He apologized. I told him it was fine and asked for some time with Rachel, he told me that he was there if a needed someone to talk to and then he left, I turned my attention back to my daughter.

"Mummy? Where's Daddy? Is he getting ready to come home?" Her voice became energetic and hopeful

"Rachie" The tone in my voice lowered her sprits again, I wiped away some rainbow ice-cream that was on her cheek and began to talk. "Your Daddy, he is safe now. He has gone to a beautiful place called Heaven" Tears started to appear in both of our eyes as I tried to tell her she would never see here father again.

"Is he still sick?" She asked me, the first tear of many to come shimmered as it rolled down her cheek.

"No. He's not sick anymore" I watched more of her shiny tears rolled down her face.

"Is he coming home?" I was dreading this question and her reaction to its answer. I wiped some of my own tears away as I tried to stay strong, to show her it would all be okay, even though I knew it wasn't.

"I'm sorry Rachie, he…" I paused but only for a second, to think how Jethro would tell me not to apologise because it's a sign of weakness. "…He's not coming home."

"WHY!" She yelled at me, I was expecting this, "WHY IMA! WHY ISN'T HE COMING HOME! DOESN'T HE KNOW THAT I'LL MISS HIM IF HE DOESN'T COME BACK!! " I sat there and let her vent. "I WANT HIM TO COME BACK IMA! I DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE OR TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM!" Her tone of voice softened as she realized it was neither her fault nor mine. "I want him back Mummy, please, please bring him back"

"I can't Rachie, I just can't." I reached out my hand for hers; she took it and sat down on my lap. "He didn't have a choice to go and he didn't want to. But he said that he loves us very much" I held her tight as she cried into me. "I love you" I told her comfortingly

"I-I-love you too M-Mu-Mummy." She sobbed.

- - - - -END FLASHBACK- - - - - -


We had your favourite dinner tonight. I ate it all up, even though I don't like carrots.

Rachel glanced up at me as she read that and I responded with a smile.

I learned how to swim this summer. I can even open my eyes when I'm under the water!

I started kindergarten this year. I carry around a picture of us in my 'Dora the Explorer' lunch box.

I can swing on the swing by myself! Even though I miss you pushing me.

And I miss how you used to tickle me.

You are the greatest Daddy.

I try not to cry, Mummy says its okay, and I know you don't like it when I cry, you never wanted me to be sad, I try so hard Daddy but it hurts.

I stared into Rachel's eyes and watched as they turned glassy.

Is it true you're not coming home?

Maybe someday, I can visit you in Heaven, okay?

It's time for me to go to bed now, I sleep with the light on, just encase you come back, you can kiss me goodnight.

I love you so much.

I miss you Daddy.

Love Rachie XOXOXOX

By the time she finished reading the letter tears were streaming down her face. I hugged her tightly.

"I-I-miss-h-him-mummy" Rachel said in between sobs.

"Me too Rachie… me too"


- - - - - - -

Some time later Rachel's cries had stoped and she had fallen asleep, I carried her back into her room and tucked her into her bed again, I stood at the doorway, watching her sleep.

"She has been so brave." I told myself, I turned out the light and walked up the hall to my room, I got into bed and I lay silently there staring at the place where he used to be. "I love you Jethro" I whispered, I and then drifted off to sleep.


FIN