Orochimaru's Stubid Training with Sasuke

by Super Ninja Asian-Chan

Three lesson: growing armpit hair, giving birth to snakes, and changing colors. Read this to see what kind of stuff Orachimaru is teaching Sasuke. You're going to love this story, because you know... it's funny.

1. Lessons 1 to 3

Orachimaru's Stubid Training with Sasuke

Lesson 1-3

You will be learning about how Sasuke was able to do his amazing techinques.

Lesson 1: Changing Colors

Lesson 2: Learning to grow armpit and head hair

Lesson 3: Giving birth to snakes

Orachimaru: Sasuke, are you ready for my training?

Sasuke: Yes, yes I am Orachimaru.

Orachimaru: Good good. Now, let's see if you can change the color of your skin!

Sasuke: Uh... I think I can live without that techinque.

Orachimaru: Are you sure? I mean, changing into a different color is totally bling bling.

Sasuke: First of all, don't say that. Second of all, I'm fine, I don't need that technique.

Orachimaru: Ok, ok, fine. But just watch this. GAAA WAAAAA MMFFFFFFTTT!

Sasuke: What the freak are you doing?

Orachimaru: AAAGGGGG! RAAAAA MFFFFFTTT!

Sasuke: Ok, seriously, you're scaring me.

Orachimaru: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH MFFFFTT! Ah, there we go.

(Orachimaru turned invisible.)

Orachimaru: See? Sometimes you have to really focus to your backgrounds and now you can transformed to be invisible. Cool, huh?

Sasuke: ok, now how do you change colors?

Orachimaru: First, you gotta concentrate. Concentrate as though you are crapping. You might make weird noises, but thats ok. Just focus on the color you want to change yourself into. Think Sasuke, think.

Sasuke: ...mmm...MMMMMMM...MMMMMFFFFTTTT!

(Sasuke turned purple)

Orachimaru: SASUKE! That's amazing! You learned this techinque in less than a minute!

Sasuke: ...

Orachimaru: You can turn back to your normal self now.

Sasuke:...

Orachimaru: Sasuke are you ok?

Sasuke: I'm... not... breathing... that' s... why... I'm... purple... does ... that... count?

Orachimaru: NO!

(Orachimaru slaps Sasuke and he falls to the ground)

Orachimaru: What kind of idiot does that?

Sasuke: sorry.

Orachimaru: Ok, next lesson. I will show you how to grow more hair on your head and armpits. This can be used to torture you enemies easily. Now watch this. GAAAAAAAA! MMFFFFFTTTT! HA HA HA HAW HAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW! SSSSSSSSSS!

Sasuke: Ok, I'm lost.

Orachimaru: Just listen to the words I'm saying out of my mouth, aight?

Sasuke: Ok.

Orachimaru: ARRRRRRMMMMPPPIIIIIIITTTTT HHHHAAAAAIIIIIRRRR! GROW! GROW! GROW DANG IT GROW!

(Orachimaru's armpit hair grew about 5 feet long.)

Sasuke: how did you do that?

Orachimaru: Of course, I focused my chakra to my armpits and just let it burst!

Sasuke: umm... ok then. Why do I need to learn this?

Orachimaru: Because! You will need this soon! You can constrict your enemies with this hair!

Sasuke: Alright, let me try.

Orachimaru: Let's see you do it!

Sasuke: I must focus my chakra... focus... focus...ARRRMMMPIIITTT HHHHAAAIIIIRRR! GROW GROW DANG IT GROW!

(BAM! Sasuke accidently focused his chakra at his face, so now he looks like chubaka from star wars)

Orachimaru: Umm.. uh... let's go to our next one, huh?

Sasuke: Wait, let me go shave this off first.

(1 hour later. Sasuke is back to normal.)

Sasuke: Ok, Orachimaru. Seriously, teach me a real techinque.

Orachimaru: Ok, ok. Alright, now listen to me. Do you know how to summon snakes?

Sasuke: no.

Orachimaru: Well, do you know what you have to do when you summon snakes?

Sasuke: no.

Orachimaru: Do you want to know?

Sasuke: yes.

Orachimaru: YOU GIVE BIRTH TO THEM!

Sasuke: What?

Orachimaru: You give birth to them of course! Snakes just can't appear out of nothing!

Sasuke: Ok, now what do I have to do first?

Orachimaru: Here.

(Orachimaru summons a girl snake.)

Sasuke: you don't expect me t-

Orachimaru: Of course not silly! You are going to kill this snake and bake it!

Sasuke: Why?

Orachimaru: I'm hungry. Anyways, first you have to focus a large amount of chakra to your hands. ok, are you doing it?

Sasuke: yeah, go on.

Orachimaru: Alright, now think of a snake egg.

Sasuke: Alright, I'm thinking about it right now.

Orachimaru: Good good. Now, SUMMON IT!

Sasuke: YEAAAAAAHHH!

(poof, Sasuke summons a baby king snake)

Orachimaru: umm... it's rather small.

Sasuke: Is that a problem?

Orachimaru: Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't.

Sasuke: Ok.

Orachimaru: it's ok, take a break.

Sasuke: tomorrow can you teach me something that does not involve giving birth, growing hair, and changing color?

Orachimaru: Sure, hee hee hee, I'll try to think of something extra SPACTACULAR!

Thanks for reading this odd story of mine. If you can, can you review? Thank you. Anyways, I posted up my next story Lessons 4 to 5, and this is the next chapter to this story. By the way, if you liked this story, you should read my other story, "The Purple Kiss". This is the story before I made this. Thank-you! Bye!

-Super Ninja Asian Chan