Hello guys. Today we are going to enter a one shot. I needed to do something a little happier than what happened in the Not Human Bella universe! So let's get started!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and the original characters that may or may not show up. Twilight universe belongs to the respected author, Stephanie Meyers!
I was woken up by a little body slamming into my side yelling. "Momma! Momma! Time to get up!" I groaned in slight pain as my mind woke with a quick jolt. My vision was quickly assaulted with my seven year old boy, my little Peter. He had my bright brown eyes and quick smile but the rest was his father's. All red curly hair with a roman nose pale lips and tanned skin. I felt angry that my Peter's father just left us when I was pregnant saying that it was a mistake and that he didn't love me or the child in my womb. It tarnished my 'reputation' with the city and my parents sent me off to Houston, Texas to live with my estranged Great Aunt Elizabeth Hart nee Masen. My Great Aunt had held me in the train station as my situation finally took hold. I was a disgrace to my parents and this was my punishment. A soon to be mother without the support of the father or her family. A Northern lady in a Southern world with no one but her estranged Great Aunt to help her navigate it. I smiled softly as I remembered my Great Aunt's words. "Fuck 'em all darlin'. If they don' know what they were givin' up ya don't need 'em. I'll help ya with my little great-great niece or nephew they don' deserve this either." I was brought out of my musings with my little boy pulling me out of bed. Laughing I got him settled enough to get him to go downstairs to wait for me with his Aunt. He didn't complain and with a little bit of cheeky southern flair that he no doubt learned from Aunt Elizabeth he left with a cheeky. "Don' make me get Aunt Elizabeth, Momma!" Looking down at my stiff cotton nightgown I went about getting ready for the day. I put on my corset and underthings first then I picked a green everyday dress. I picked a pair of green flats that went with the dress. Brushing the rats nest out of my hair I made my way downstairs to break my fast with my family.
I greeted my Aunt a good morning and helped her finish the cornbread before sitting down with Peter. He talked animatedly to me as we settled in for our morning meal. We prayed and gave thanks before we ate our cornbread in silence. Even though we all pitched in the times were rough and certain days we only ate the bare minimums in order to help with the war effort. We were patriotic but not too patriotic to offend anyone with an opposite sensibility. Once we were done I had Peter grab his lunch and book so I could drop him off at the school house just down the road before heading into town to help with the bookstore. The bookstore in Houston had good business ever since Aunt Elizabeth and I re-opened it after Timothy Conahan had passed leaving it to be auctioned off with no next of kin. Thankfully we got the bookstore since no one wanted the business. Taking Peter's hand we walked together until he spotted Emilia 'Emily' Whitlock a fine young lady that my Peter looked up to and had a little crush on. Her bright blue eyes sought out mine as her long blonde hair gently blew in the wind. She smiled and waved before taking his hand and letting him update her on the latest happenings in his world. Smiling fondly I watch them wander over to a group of young ladies who loved talking to Peter as well. I never discouraged him from talking to anyone regardless of age but I knew that someday Emilia Whitlock will either fall in love with another man breaking my Peter's little heart or she would wait for him to notice her own crush on him. I watched on for a little longer pondering my son's life and choices for a moment longer when a man with familiar blonde hair, gray-blue eyes an easy smile in a Major's Confederate uniform appeared next to me. He was tall and muscular with a noticeable age in his eyes when I heard Emilia squeal in surprised delight. She let go of Peter long enough to run across the school yard hugging the man next to me with all her might. "I thought ya weren't returning till tomorrow Jasper!" She said excitedly. Shock ran through me as I looked at him closer to notice that he was her brother and my longtime friend, Jasper Anthony Mark Whitlock. I couldn't believe this was the same man that had consoled me as I cried wishing my parents were here to celebrate my boy's birth. Suddenly another body slammed into the duo leaving Jasper laughing at their antics. I noticed that his hat had fallen off as my boy hugged Jasper. He talked Jasper's ear off before Jasper answered his questions and Emilia interjected from time to time for a more elaborate response. Picking up the hat I cleared my throat and spoke. "Emilia, Peter why don't you leave Jasper and I alone for now." They took the hint and left with a hasty goodbye to Jasper and I. Turning to face my friend I spoke to him for the first time in a year. "Hello Jasper." I was happy that he was home but in all the time that we spent apart I wasn't sure if he would even want to talk to me. He surprised me with a soft yet guarded greeting. "Hello Miss Masen. How have you and Peter fared since I left?" I smiled softly before responding. "Very well. Peter has been learning from my Aunt on how to be a Southern gentleman which greatly out numbers me in the household but I am proud that he is turning out far better than I had feared…" I shook my head trying to thrust away my fears from ruining this conversation. Jasper seemed to know that I needed a moment and he spoke. "You have always done a great job with Peter, Miss Masen. Shall we walk?" I looked at Jasper through my eyelashes wondering where the man before the war went to. I remember the smiles and the teasing and I remember the fight that made me cry for the first time since I came from my home in the North.
As we walked in silence I tried to formulate the right question to ask him until I saw the bookstore. I felt dread and relief rise in me. I prayed to God that Jasper wouldn't avoid me for the rest of his visit home. I prayed to God for that small mercy because in my heart of hearts I knew that I would surely wither and die from his lack of care this time around. Once on the steps of the bookstore I gave Jasper his hat back and spoke. "I hope you'll come visit Peter when you're able to. He has missed you." I wanted to say more but I didn't have the courage to say that I wanted him to visit us and that I had missed him as well. His eyes were still guarded but something flashed in them at the invitation. I tried to not tear up in his presence as he refused to speak to me. Nodding I spoke again. "Have a good day, Major. I must get the bookstore open before my customers have my head." I felt my voice waver on his title but I knew that I couldn't take it back. I turned around to go in when I felt a masculine gloved hand grab my wrist. Looking at him I gaped as Jasper held a storm in his eyes. I felt everyone stare at his boldness when Jasper spoke with a hardened edge to his voice. "Never call me Major. You don't deserve to call me that." Tears pricked my eyes and I felt one slide down my cheek. I jerked my wrist out of his hand and opened the door to the store as fast as I could. I slammed the door shut and leaned against it as a sob made its way out of my chest. I let my misery slam into my being. I didn't know how long I stayed that way until I angrily wiped away my tears and switched the closed sign to open. Walking over to the desk I went about work. Determined to forget the one and only Major Jasper Anthony Mark Whitlock the gentleman to many other ladies except to the one who tore him a new one. I had several visitors throughout the day and as I closed up for the night I heard the door open. "Sorry we are closed!" I yelled from the back as I set about the ordered books.
I never heard the door close again and I was about to yell it again when an all too familiar voice spoke. "Hello, Kara." I froze. It wasn't a customer nor was it a welcome friend. It belonged to the man that had left me alone and had shamed me in more ways than one. Slowly turning around I noticed how time had been kind to him. He no longer set my heart a flutter nor did he make my knees weak instead I felt sick and angry. "I have no desire to speak with you sir." I said harshly and went about closing the shop. What I didn't expect was his hands stopping me and turning me to face him. His eyes searched mine with a sorrow that I had never seen in his eyes. I felt no sparks when he touched me but I did feel uneasy and it started to get worse. "I know you don't expect me to apologize nor do I want to but…I had to see you one last time. To try to make something right." He said softly. A part of me froze and my mind screamed at me to not listen to him but I knew that he owed me this at least. Hell we owed it to each other. "Fine." I spat as I wrestled from his grip. Surprisingly he let me go and spoke. "I am sorry for disrupting your life like this but…I confess these past seven years have left me…wanting to make amends with you and our child. If you would allow me to give you some money or a gift I would be overjoyed to give you something like that." I felt my uneasiness grow and I grew angrier at the cheap show of goodwill. Pursing my lips I felt my eyes narrow at the man who should have been there for us. The man you should have encouraged me, loved me, marry me and have our boy in wedlock instead of out of it. He should have been more responsible and stayed so that our son wouldn't know the scorn that he has endured when I wasn't around to take it for him. My beautiful boy who still grew up to be a better young man than any of the other children his age. My anger blackened and I spoke with it. "You should have stayed. You should have helped me nurture our son from the moment you found out about me being with child. You should have married me and be a father…but you didn't. Instead you left me with the scorn of others at my back. The scorn that our son has had to endure because he didn't have his father in his life. Hell YOU SHOULD HAVE BEGGED US TO FORGIVE YOU FOR LEAVING US YOU BASTARD!" I felt my hands turn into fists and my gaze redden as I saw our son in my mind's eye with tears running down his cheeks. Then I saw him with a hurt face as I told him the truth and the anger he held against his father. Then I saw his sweet face as he told me that he was proud to have me as his mother. The boy who didn't have a father in the picture comforting his broken mother. Looking at the man before me I saw him narrow his eyes in anger. Gritting my teeth I let my anger simmer beneath my skin and I spoke with a deceptive calm. "Get out and don't ever come back." I saw his anger dissipate and hurt and understanding took its place. He nodded and left me with one thing. "I see that I am too late and for that I am sorry." He left. He left and I could feel myself fall apart. Taking a deep breath I counted to ten and finally left the store. I looked around the city streets and relaxed thanking God that no one heard that.
Walking away from the store and towards the house's direction I heard a horse neighing from down the road. Looking for that horse I was shocked to find a figure sitting atop the horse ambling down the road. I walked towards them slowly and found myself pleasantly surprised to see the man atop the horse. It was Jasper in his everyday clothes I felt myself fully relax as I nodded to him and made to go past when he spoke. "I saw him." I froze and felt a little weak. Looking towards him I felt myself pale. "How?" I asked hoping beyond hope that the bastard didn't go to my Aunt's house first. He looked hesitant to answer but I spoke again. "Please Jasper…did he see Peter?!" I didn't need to see him fully to know that he looked affronted yet understood what I meant. If he saw him I knew that Peter wouldn't react well. I just needed to know if he was alright. "No he didn't see Peter. Liz made sure that he didn't see him." He spoke with a surety and I knew that Jasper was with Peter at the time. Relief unholy relief raced through me as I stood near Jasper knowing that Aunt Elizabeth and Jasper wouldn't let Peter get hurt like that. I sighed and asked him the one thing that bothered me the most. "Why did you stop me?" If I could see Jasper's face I'm pretty sure I could see his face tighten and his eyes guard his innermost self. I could feel him withdraw to the Major that he was and it hurt. It hurt but I understood. Then came the next words that hurt even more than this. "We need to…discuss a few things…" He said stiffly. I didn't want to discuss anything if he was going to be anything like this but I knew deep down that if I didn't talk to him I wouldn't be able to talk to him for a long while. I suppressed a sigh and agreed. He held out his hand in order to help me up onto the horse.
Once I was situated behind him I felt the horse move into a more populated area of the city. We stopped in front of the saloon. Jasper got off quickly and tied the horse to the post. Then he held out his hand for me to take. I carefully took it and gasped in shock at the electricity that ran through my being. I got off the horse and looked at Jasper. He had a guarded yet polite look about him now that we were in public but I knew that he was wishing that he didn't have to act like we were just getting reacquainted and leave me to my own devices until he could face me again. Once inside I put on a smile that didn't reach my eyes but I made sure that no one could see what I was thinking. No one was looking at us as we walked to the bar and Jasper ordered us some drinks. As we waited I looked for a table for us to sit at when he spoke in my ear. "Let's go to that corner." I shivered a bit as his breath caressed my cheek and lust pooled in my womb. Trying to ignore it to the best of my ability. We finally sat down with him looking at the saloon over my shoulder before finally laying his eyes on my face. Sitting like this reminded me of our fight that we had when he came back as a Captain in the Confederate Army.
*flashback*
I was angry and hurt that he didn't tell me he'd left. Instead I found out when I called upon the Whitlock household a week later that he ran off to join the army. Now he stood here in a Captain's uniform not even a month later expecting me to be happy for him. I felt all my emotions overwhelm me as I heard Peter exclaim. "JASPER! You're back!" I felt him pass me and hug Jasper excitedly and then asked the most obvious question in the world. "How did ya like the army?" I felt it in my heart that punch in the stomach my son knew that he left and I didn't. He told my son but not me! I felt my hurt increase until a foreign voice left my mouth. "Peter go inside. Jasper and I need to talk." It was cold and angry. Peter sensed my change in mood and quickly left with a worried backwards glance at Jasper and I. Once he was inside I turned back to Jasper and spoke. "You didn't tell me that you left and when I went to your home…"I choked back the words that I wanted to say and focused on him. Guilt flashed across his features as he spoke. "I know an' I know it was the coward's way out. I'm sorry that I left you an' Peter." His voice was nervous and worried but I didn't care. I was hurt and I needed to let him know it. "You're sorry that you left but you're obviously not sorry that you told Peter and not me. Oh no you couldn't be bothered to tell the woman who loves you but you can tell everyone else." I hissed out letting him know that it hurt. Something went through his eyes and he just clenched his jaw not saying a damn word. I don't know why but that was worse than anything. Shutting out every emotion I had I shook my head angrily and spoke. "You know what? Forget it Jazz, just forget it. Leave and don't come back." I stormed away from the man that I loved hurt and far angrier than I had been before we talked. I stormed into the house and made an excuse about not feeling well to my boy and Aunt. I shut my door tightly and cried out. It wasn't fair that he was okay and I was a damnable mess. It wasn't fair that I broke so completely and I started crying all over again.
*end of flashback*
Guilt ran through me as I thought about that day. Guilt and a bit of old hurt. I refused to let the hurt linger any longer than necessary though. I refused to hurt Jasper that way. I was surprised to notice that I had looked away from Jasper because I had been staring at him when I sat down. That was when I looked at his face in the dark and saw a man who had loved a woman that had hurt him just as he had hurt her. He held the weight of wanting to make it right and the weight of not being able to. That was when something hit me more than anything. I love him and I will always love him. Tears pricked my eyes at the thought because I knew that if he had asked it of me I'd do anything for him. Anything. Suddenly he spoke. "I shoulda never left ya the way I did. For that darlin' I am more sorry than all the wild horses of Texas. I shoulda done right by you and Peter and told ya together…no matter what ya thought. I felt so guilty that I left tha' way I did and then when I came back I didn't know what I was expecting…I know I hurt ya but that didn't stop me from leavin' and not tellin' ya. I shoulda told ya this earlier than waiting an entire year cause for the entire year I was homesick for ya." He paused and grasped both of my hands in his. They were calloused, big and warm a far better thing than his gloved hands. They felt right and in that moment I knew that he would do anything for me. Even if it meant not seeing me for a while. I looked into his eyes and looked for something. In that moment he let me see everything. His entire being was laid bare before me and I saw it. I saw the love that I held so dear. I felt my entire being relax and my own love for this foolish man grew and shined like a thousand years had gone past yet the love that we have shared hasn't changed only grow. I saw him smile in the dark and then he spoke softly. "I realized that me stayin' away from ya was the worst thing that I could do ta the both of us darlin' and I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner. I shoulda went after you. I love you with all my being darlin'." He paused again to look at me with hope and a fierce love that only he could show me. My heart and chest warmed up and I knew that we'd be okay. "Oh Jazz…" I whispered hesitantly. In that moment his face light up like the sun waking up in the morning with the new day. I knew that he would never reject me but in that wonderful moment I felt the uncertainty twinge a bit. Shoving it aside I whispered. "I love you too…my darlin' Major and I'm pretty sure Peter loves you just as much as I do." He had the biggest smile that I had seen in years on his face. In that moment we were together and I knew that no matter what we'd always be together. Come hell or high water we'd go through it together…
And done! This is a lot better than I thought it'd be but I'm happy with the way it turned out so read and review or just read. -Ladyoflight