Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! NOT EVEN THE SONGS!!!
A/N: I couldn't help myself. This has been in my head for a long time. I keep saying I'm going to write it but never do. I prolly wont put this on for a while…sigh….i hate my muse sometimes. And some things in this story are going to be absolutely ridiculous. I promise! Lol. Please read the end note too!!!
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Hermione Granger was seriously pissed off. She'd laugh at Harry's jokes and smile at Ginny's gossip. On the outside, she looked so very wonderful and happy. And Ron was furious about her looking so fine. They'd broken up on the train to Hogwarts just two hours ago. And Hermione had been upset. It had been a very public and loud breakup. Which Hermione had hexed him soundly for his stupidness. So here they all sat in the Great Hall, eating dinner. The tension was thick enough in the air that they could have hit it with a broom. And while Hermione had covered and made herself look happy and fine, Ron hadn't hid his anger at all. He still looked as livid as he had earlier when Hermione had found out about the other girls.
Hermione glanced around the great hall, knowing something just wasn't right. Something in the air seemed darker. There had a great selection of professors this year. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Minerva McGonagall, and Albus Dumbledore were her favorites. Remus Lupin taught Defense Against the Dark Arts. Dumbledore had found the curse on the position and had lifted it, so Professor Lupin was there to stay. Sirius Black had the luck to take over Madam Hooch's job as Quiddich and broom teacher. Unfortunately, Severus Snape still taught potions.
Things had started to seem great after the most recent fight between the good side and Voldemort's side had caused an interesting effect. Voldemort had been hit by so many spells at once, none being the killing spell, that it'd done something to him. He was crazy, needing St. Mungo's attention but not going because of who he obviously was. And he was actually funny. He'd pranced though the field that the fighting was happening in and that made everyone stop and look. The dark side had gotten away and ran rather quickly. And things had been surprisingly quiet since then, four months ago.
And suddenly there was a ripple in the Great Hall. Dumbledore sat up straight and looked around nervously. Everyone in the Great Hall froze. A sudden dark shadow appeared in the middle of the Great Hall. Voldemort appeared after a second, actually giggling.
"Helloooo!" He called in a high pitched voice. "I have a gift for you all!" And everybody found that they couldn't move. "You will sing! Sing you true feelings! And you will be embarrassed!" He cackled evilly. He raised his wand and a blue light rippled through the whole school. There was a sudden tingling in the air. "I will sing the first one for you!" He made it sound like he was doing them a favor, his shiny snake like head shining in the light and his red eyes shining merrily. Suddenly, a strange music filled the air. And Voldemort started dancing around the tables.
"To the one on the
flam
Boy your temper just toss that ham
In the fryin' pan
Like
spam"
He danced around the Gryffindor table first. He passed Harry and Hermione, patting them both on the head, then smearing mashed potatoes all over Harry's face.
"Feel done
when I come in slam
Damn
I feel like the son of sam
Don't
make me wreck shit hectic
Next to the chair got me goin' like
General Electric
EEEN"
Voldemort danced over to the Professor's table and shook his butt right in front of Dumbledore. It would have been funny if they weren't so darn shocked. Voldemort started doing the Macarena, completely enjoying himself.
"The lights
are blinking
I'm thinking
It's all over when I go out
drinking
Oh, makin' my mind slow,
That's why I don't fuck wit
da big four-o
Bro', I gotta maintain,
'Cause a wizza like me is goin' insane!"
Voldemort headed towards the Slytherin table and started flirting with some of the girls as he sang. He looked like he was serenading them.
"Insane in
the membrane Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane
in the brain!
Plenty insane
Got
no brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain"
Voldemort started
dancing about, holding his head and shaking his butt in that black
robe he was wearing. Hermione thought she'd be sick. "Do
my shit undercover
Now it's time for the blubba
Blabba
To
watch that belly get fatter
Fat boy on a diet
Don't try it
I'll
jack your ass like a looter in a riot
My shit's fat like a sumo
slammin' that ass
Leavin' your face in the grass
You know
I
don't take a dulo"
Voldemort went and got into Dumbledore's face and started singing. He picked up a piece of meat of Dumbledore's face and slapped him in the face with it, giggling between words.
"Lightly
Punks
just jealous cause they can't outwrite me
So kick that style:
wicked, wild
Happy face wizza never seen me smile
Rip that
mainframe
I'll explain
A wizza like me is goin' insane"
Voldemort moved down
and started singing right in Snape's face. Snape would have
sneered if he'd been able to move. But Voldemort went right on and
picked up Snape's goblet and tossed the wine in his face. Then he
turned and with one shake of his butt, like a tail, in front of
Snape, was off again, dancing. "Insane in the
membrane Insane in the membrane Insane
in the brain Insane
in the brain Insane
in the brain Insane in the brain Like Louie Armstrong
Insane in the brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane
in the brain!
Going insane
Got no
brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!
In the brain
It's because I'm loco
In the brain
It's because I'm loco
In the brain
Insane
It's because I'm
loco
Played
the trumpet
I'll hit dat bong and break ya off something soon
I
got to get my props
Aurors!
Come and try to snatch my
crops
These pigs wanna blow my house down
Head underground
To
the next town
They get mad
When they come to raid my pad
And
I'm out in the nine deuce Cad'
Yes I'm the pirate pilot
Of this
ship if I get
Wit' the ultraviolet dream
Hide from the red
light beam
Now do you believe in the unseen
Look, but don't
make your eyes strain
A wizzaa like me is goin' insane"
Voldemort made one more
appearance by Harry as he danced around the Great Hall. Hermione
could tell that he was pissed off. But Voldemort looked so serene
and happy, that it was strange. Voldemort pinched Harry's cheek
and then he was gone again, dancing away. "Insane in the
membrane Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane
in the brain!
Plenty insane
Got
no brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!"
Voldemort started
slowly but surely making his way back to that spot where he'd
appeared at. He still shook his whole body to the song. Hermione
was sure that everybody was going to freak out after they got
unfrozen. And all hell would break loose. "Insane in the
brain Insane in the brain
It's because I'm loco
Insane in the brain
It's because
I'm loco
It's because I'm loco
Insane
in the brain
It's because I'm loco"
And then the song ended. Voldemort looked so very proud of himself. He bowed as he stood on that spot.
"Thank you! Thank you! You've been wonderful!" Voldemort called out and then bowed again. And he was gone. Just like Hermione thought, the freeze charm or whatever came off almost just after Voldemort was gone. And then all hell did break loose. There was screaming, laughing, and hysterical crying.
It was after they got back to the common room that Harry and Hermione had heard that Voldemort had misted inside the castle. The spell was so old and pretty much forgotten that the castle hadn't been protected against it. As they all got ready for bed, Dumbledore and the other teachers were setting up new and stronger wards. Hermione was worried. What was this spell that Voldemort had set upon the school? Were they all really going to sing? Hermione gulped. She had a pretty nice voice, but she hated singing in front of others. She smiled worriedly at Harry and then headed up to her bed. The girls in the dorm were surprisingly silent that night, no doubt scared and worried about the singing that they may or may not do.
The morning dawned bright and early for Hermione. She got out of bed hesitantly. The feeling of the spell was still in the air but it wasn't surrounding Hermione heavily. But she had a bad feeling about the day ahead of her. The girls were still silent, as if one wrong move or even said something would set the songs off. Dressing for the girls of Gryffindor went down without a single song or many words spoken.
Hermione came out of the dorms with a small smile on her face. Something about her good night sleep made her feel better. Ron was bad for her. He was the one had cheated. And she would be better off without him, she just knew it. She felt a pang of sadness when she saw him but her mind demanded that she forget it. She tried. Ron was still scowling at her but had Gabby Libbron, that blond bimbo, on his arm. Hermione kept a smile on her face as she approached her friends.
"What do we have first, 'Mione?" Harry asked as she reached him. Hermione pulled her schedule out of her bag and checked. She smiled.
"We have Defense Against the Dark Arts." She told Harry with a smile. Harry smiled in return and the four of them, with Harry and Hermione walking in front of Ron and Gabby, left the common room in direction to the DADA room.
They arrived and said their hellos to Professor Lupin. He smiled tiredly at Hermione and Harry. And then he turned his attention to Gabby and Ron who were sitting very close to each other at their table. He scowled darkly at them and then tried to smile again at Hermione and Harry. Harry had already started off to the table that he would share with Hermione.
"Are you doing all right, Miss Granger?" Remus asked, smiling softly once, glaring at Ron, and then smiling back down at her. Hermione turned to look at Ron for a second before turning back to look at Remus.
"I do believe I am, Professor." Hermione told him confidently. "It's better this way." And then she started off for the table only a foot or so away. Remus didn't miss the gentle sway of her hips as she walked. He shook his head and started back to the chalk board.
"Okay students… Settle down." Remus called over them, pushing his slightly shaggy, sandy colored hair out of his chocolate colored eyes. "Today will be an easy day for us, as our first day back. I want you to turn to page 19 in your books and take notes on the Tebo. Can anybody tell me about the Tebo?" He scanned the room with his eyes. He smiled as he realized that the only two hands up were Hermione's and Draco Malfoy's. "Mr. Malfoy?"
"The Tebo is an ash
colored warthog found in Congo and Zaire. It has the power of
invisibility, making it difficult to evade or catch. It's very
dangerous." He said before he'd even opened his book.
"Good
Mr. Malfoy. Ten points to Slytherin." Remus called. Harry looked
surprised and turned to look at Malfoy. He turned back after only a
second. "Now, Miss Granger. Can you tell me what they are used
for?"
"The Tebo's hide is
highly prized by wizards for protective shields and clothing because
of the toughness and invisibility properties that it holds." She
said as she flipped through the rest of her book.
"Good, Miss
Granger. Ten points to Gryffindor." He said, sitting down at his
desk. "Please highlight all the special properties of the Tebo in
your notes." He looked down at his book and turned a page, starting
to read. Hermione was completely enveloped in her notes.
'Tebo: M.O.M. Classification: XXXX…' She started her notes.
"I'm telling you, Harry…" She heard Ron whispering. "Gabby does the most amazing thing with her tongue. Hermione could never do this…" Hermione felt her irritation rise. And that's when she felt it. The spell pressing around her. She looked up, alarmed. She could feel it trying to open her mouth. She pressed her lips together tightly. And she grabbed Harry's arm. He looked down at her and was surprised to see such intense panic on her face.
"What is it?" Harry asked, grabbing her shoulders. Remus looked up then, feeling the music swirling in his classroom. He was surprised to see Hermione looking fearful and Harry holding her shoulders nervously. That's when the music started. The entire class looked around, trying to see who it could be. Then Hermione stood. All eyes fell on her, waiting to see what kind of lyrics would come out of her mouth as the music started to pick up. Hermione didn't want to, but the spell forced her to open her mouth and let it all flow.
" Here's the thing
we started out friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah
yeah
Since U Been Gone"
Hermione made her way out from behind her seat and started walking the room. All eyes were watching her, making her feel self conscious. Knowing it would be futile if she tried to stop it, she lowered her barriers and let the magic flow through her. She felt so light and heavenly. She started moving with earnest, loving the feeling the way her body moved to the song.
"You dedicated, you took the time,
wasn't long till I called you mine,
yeah yeah,
since you've been gone"
Hermione walked through the rows, moving her body and gracefully moved her feet and legs to the tune. She felt empowered, she felt wonderful, and she felt that leaving Ron had been the right choice all along. Just as she felt the words starting to move out of her throat, she smiled.
"All you'd ever hear me say,
is how I pictured me with you,
that's all you'd ever hear me say,"
Hermione strutted forward, smiling. She got to Seamus Finnigan and was glaring at Ron. She stopped just before she would be beside Seamus and started moving her hips and body to the new part of the beat. All the while sending Ron her empowered looks. She tried to tone down the dancing, but the music protested and started moving her itself. She gave over her body and decided to let the music do with her what it will. About halfway through the verse, she found herself sitting on Seamus' lap, stroking his short hair.
"Since you been gone,
I can breathe for the first time,
I'm so moving on,
Yeah yeah,
Thanks to you,
Now I get,
What I want,
Since you been gone"
Hermione got up out of his lap, him smiling and chuckling to himself at Hermione's cuteness. She sauntered down the isle slowly, the music guiding her and telling her body what to do.
"How can I put it, you put me on,
I even fell for that stupid love song,
Yeah yeah,
Since you been gone"
Hermione came around the row, heading down the side that Ron was on. Gabby was glaring at her. Maybe because she was getting attention. Maybe because she actually sounded really good. Hermione really didn't care. She just smirked at the bimbo.
"How come I'd never hear you say,
I just wanna be with you,
Guess you never felt that way"
She was almost to Ron. He was looking up at her with a mixture of surprise and anger on his face. He knew that she was singing about him. And he knew that she was now glad that he wasn't her main man anymore. She stopped just before she got to him and put her arms out in such a way to show that she loved singing this about him. Even if she was nervous.
"But Since U Been
Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah,
yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get (I get) what I want
Since U
Been Gone"
She moved up to him after she sang that, her eyes looking both angry and relieved. She could feel the music and magic mixing, about to do something. She was afraid of what it would do. But she really wanted it. She really wanted to make the statement and the music was helping her.
"You had your chance you blew it,
out of sight out of mind"
She covered her eyes and wiped her brow, as if wiping him from her mind. She saw Ron's mouth drop in surprise.
"Shut your mouth I just can't take it,
again and again and again and again,"
Hermione's hand closed his gaping mouth and then slapped him soundly across the face. There were sniggers in the room and some gasps. Hermione was shocked that she'd done it. But before she could do anything to show it, the magic swept her away from him and headed for the Slytherin area. She didn't fight it, not wanting to instigate retaliation from him. And was also surprised when three other girls stood up and sang the harmony in the back ground. Lavender, Pansy, and Pavarti looked shocked but pleased how well their voices sounded.
"Since you been gone,
I can breathe for the first time,
I'm so moving on,
Yeah yeah,
Thanks to you (thanks to you),
Now I get, I get what I want,"
She was surprised when the music took her over to Draco Malfoy. She sat in his lap and ran her hands through his silky hair. Draco smirked at Ron and made him turn red in the face from anger. As Hermione got up, Draco patted her on the butt. She laughed quickly and skipped off. She had just passed Blaise, running her hand down his dark cheek when he laughed gaily. She made her way over to Remus and sat on his desk, right beside him. The harmony of the other three girls continued.
"I can breathe for the first time,
I'm so moving on,
Yeah, yeah,
Thanks to you (thanks to you),
Now I get (I get),
You should know (you should know)
That I get, I get what I want"
She shocked the class even more when she turned slightly so she could touch Remus and she slid her hand down his cheek and on his chest. She used his shoulder to get up and start stalking back to her seat. The three girls sat down, looking pleased with themselves and Hermione. The last little bit was sang quietly, just loud enough for her voice to carry.
"Since you been gone…
Since you been gone…
Since you been gone…"
Hermione sat back down in her seat, feeling her face heat up when the full force of the situation hit her. She'd touched Seamus, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, and her DADA professor intimately. She felt her cheeks heat up even more at the thought of what they'd say to her.
"What a nice
performance, Miss Granger." Remus told her, cracking his knuckles
underneath the table where she couldn't really see. His cheeks
were slightly tinged pink but he was smiling. Hermione turned to
look and to see everyone smiling at her… well, minus Ron and Gabby.
Even most of the Slytherins were smiling at her. She smiled
hesitantly back.
"That was fun, Granger." Draco told her,
turning back to his notes and continuing.
"Yes, Granger, and entertaining." Blaise said, following Draco's example.
"Okay, class. Let's
get back to work. We don't have a lot of time!" Remus said,
clearing his throat. Hermione looked back down at her notes and
started scribbling them down quickly. Harry leaned over and bumped
his shoulder against hers. She looked up into his friendly, smiling
face and felt love. Not the love of a boy and a girl. But she felt
the love of a very best friend to another.
"I thought you did
wonderfully." He told her, his hand resting slightly on her arm.
She felt her embarrassment melt away as she looked into his emerald
eyes.
"Thank you, Harry." She told him softly. "That means a lot to me." Harry winked at her before going back to his work. Then he suddenly moved over to her again.
"Oh yeah…" He whispered, trying to make it so that only she could hear him. "That was a wicked awesome slap you had there." Hermione giggled as Harry turned back to his work. She couldn't help but smile into her notes. After all, with a friend like Harry, she'd never be alone no matter what happened. Hermione looked up at Remus and felt herself blush a little bit. She felt no embarrassment. But that sweet look in his eyes made her feel all funny. As soon as Remus saw Hermione look at him, he quickly looked back down at his book and cleared his throat. Hermione looked back at her notes and didn't look up for the rest of class.
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Endnote: HAHA! I did it! I wrote the first chapter. I hope you seriously liked it. The songs were Insane in the Membrane. And Since you been gone. I liked working with those two songs! Please tell me you liked it as much as I liked writing it. Don't worry, this isn't the end. Far from it. I hope you will continue to read it. I'm hyped up on Hawaiian coffee right now. I mean the seriously caffeinated stuff. It tastes like chocolate with almonds. OMG! It's freaking amazing. And it's actually the coffee that made me want to write this! YAY! Lol. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW my little lovelies.
Meghan!!!!!!!