Sparks jump and skitter along the corridors of the Normandy, attacking every worn-out crew member boarding the ship. They've done it, the collector base has been engulfed in flames and destruction. Shepard glances at every crewmate, relief swelling more and more in her chest for every face staring back at her. Her gaze lingers on a certain leather-clad assassin, breath catching in her throat when intense dark eyes meet hers. But her heart drops soon after, forcing her to break the eye-contact. The Collectors? They have and always will arouse certain emotions in the commander. Anger, hatred, pride... But never fear. Those black eyes, however... They scare the hell out of her.
She escapes to her cabin, not wanting to deal with this problem right now. For god's sake, she just saved her species. Can't a woman catch a break? Not when she brought this on herself, I suppose, she muses to herself. When there was no certainty of survival, Kepral's Syndrome seemed as serious as a paper cut. But, now...
Shepard sighs, and starts tugging off her armor as if she is running on auto-pilot. Her head is a mess of what ifs and excuses, weighing down on her already exhausted body. The comfort of her warm, soft bed quickly drags her to the realm of unconsciousness.
Groggy eyes blink themselves awake many hours later, greeted by a sight that Shepard isn't ready to handle yet. Shades of green gracing scaly skin, black etched in as if his body was a piece of art. Enticing dark, tight leather. And a lean, muscular, sexy body facing away from her.
"Good morning, siha." Shepard could hear the worry in his deep voice.
"Thane, I..." He turns to look at her, black eyes boring into her once again.
"I have not gotten as far as I have as an assassin without learning how to read body language. There is something on your mind. Something I won't like." His voice was quiet, breaking Shepard's heart into pieces.
"I didn't expect to be alive right now." She struggles to get the words out, each syllable stinging more than a gunshot would.
"So, what happened before the mission, you didn't intend for it to last." He finished the thought for her, facing his body away from her again.
"N...no. I don't think that what we had was meant to last beyond the mission." Thane stands up in response, moving towards the door with the finesse that Shepard adores, though she conjures lie upon lie to convince herself otherwise.
"When you figure out that you're wrong, siha, come find me. You've done it once, I'm sure you can do it again." And he disappears behind the door, leaving a numbness in Shepard's chest.
Empty shot glasses line the length of the bar, leading to a very drunk Shepard. Auburn hair, unkempt. Once bright jade eyes, now glazed over from the alcohol. She lets out a long sigh, stretching her arms out over the bar and resting her head against them. She's acting like a selfish, spoiled teenager, and she knows it. But, when she thinks about the future, and sees that Thane isn't there... So many different emotions pool in her stomach, and tears threaten to spill from her eyes.
"Shepard. I'm worried about you." Liara's feminine voice trails from behind her, instantly easing some of the war going on in Shepard's head.
"Liara, good. I could use a friend." She feels the warmth of Liara's hand resting on her shoulder, and looks up to meet her crystal blue eyes. Liara glances at the empty glasses, concern pulling her eyebrows together.
"This can't be from the Collectors. What is it, Shepard?" She takes the seat next to her Commander, deciding that the conversion of Miranda's office can wait.
"I don't want to love Thane." Shepard toys with the glass in her hand, swirling the alcohol absentmindedly. Liara laughs quietly, throwing one of Shepard's arms around her shoulders and wrapping her own blue arm around the Commander's waist for support.
"You also didn't want Saren to become what he did, or the Collectors to attack. Shepard, I'd think that by now, you'd learn that there are some things you can't control." The asari begins to lead Shepard up to her quarters, where she gently places her onto her bed.
"What should I do, Liara?" Shepard's face is overcome by the helplessness she's been trying to drown with alcohol, though it may have just made it worse. Liara smiles sweetly at her Commander, trying to take some of her discomfort away.
"I'd expect you to be yourself. For one, you'd stop what you're doing now. Then I'd recommend taking some time to rest after your last mission, and doing what I know you want to do. Goodnight, Shepard."
Author's note: Hello everyone :) this is the first thing I've written in well over a year, so please be patient with me while I get my writing style back in check. The first few chapters are going to be awkward, but it will get better, I promise! Also, my Shepard and Thane may be a bit annoying at first, I may hold off on the next chapter until I'm certain that it's taking the story in the direction I want it to go, and that I'm portraying Shep/Thane how I want to. Letting me know how you feel about this little prologue may help me along.