DISCLAIMER: I don't own the OC or the song.
Ryan/Teresa
Teresa looked across the table at the prim, plucked girl across from her. She reached up to brush back a lock of her hair, running it down to touch the chain around her neck. She'd been wearing it since he left, wondering if he was okay, trying to keep some part or him close. A locket, her in one half with pigtails and a grin, him with a smile about to crack his face in two. She wondered if Marissa had seen it. She found herself hoping that she hadn't. The new girl reminded her of hospitals, clean and perfect on the outside but bloody and tense and broken inside, running on everyone else's belief that everything was all right.
She smiled to herself. Ryan would have liked that one- she stopped. She could tell him, now. She'd been thinking in the past tense for months now, habit as she tried to wean herself off him. Ryan was an ocean to her, calm on the outside, mellow, stubborn, but inside it was powerful and strong and once you were in it was hard to get out.
When they were little, young, they'd promised to stay together forever together no matter what. She'd imagined them married, in a perfect marriage where they'd escape everything they grew up with. In middle school, when they lost the ability to ignore everything wrong in their worlds, when Ryan had lost his virginity to another girl while Teresa did her first pot at a party, they promised that they'd depend on each other for everything, wouldn't lie or keep things, and stick together. She'd imagined him for her first time, and they'd leave and get jobs in a new city. In high school, when they started having sex and Tray went to jail for the first time and they tried crack Ryan got from his mom's boyfriend and they ended up on the beach watching the sunrise through lidded eyes, they promised that they wouldn't leave.
Teresa still wanted to leave, but she'd had stopped dreaming. Ryan had, too. They no longer made plans to do things together, hung out at school and did their best to avoid sobriety around each other. Neither wanted to see what had happened, knew that if they looked into each other's eyes they'd see everything they'd hated in their parents. Dependency and addiction and bad choices littering their past, their future.
He'd gotten out. He'd found a way to sneak away, to escape. It wasn't that he hadn't taken her, that she'd kept hoping after he gave up, that he had dragged her into helplessness with him. It was that he'd found out that not everything was doomed, and he hadn't told her.
Carry This Picture, Dashboard Confessionals
(Carry this picture for luck, kept in a locket
Tucked in your collar, close to your chest
Make it a secret, shown to the closest friends
And meet me at quarter to seven
The sun will still shine then at this time of year
We'll head to the inlet, and we'll share a bottle there
And color the coast with your smile
It's the most genuine thing I've ever seen
I was so lost, but now, I believe
And follow me south of the big docks
Where they tether the boats
The rich men revere as so important
The hire our fathers to steer
And down to the edge of the water
Where we'll spill our guts
And we'll name our fears, I'll give you this picture
Keep it and don't be scared
And color the coast with your smile
It's the most genuine thing I've ever seen
I was lost, but now, I believe in the coast
Your smile is the most genuine thing I've ever seen
I was lost, but now, I believe)
Ryan/Teresa
Teresa looked across the table at the prim, plucked girl across from her. She reached up to brush back a lock of her hair, running it down to touch the chain around her neck. She'd been wearing it since he left, wondering if he was okay, trying to keep some part or him close. A locket, her in one half with pigtails and a grin, him with a smile about to crack his face in two. She wondered if Marissa had seen it. She found herself hoping that she hadn't. The new girl reminded her of hospitals, clean and perfect on the outside but bloody and tense and broken inside, running on everyone else's belief that everything was all right.
She smiled to herself. Ryan would have liked that one- she stopped. She could tell him, now. She'd been thinking in the past tense for months now, habit as she tried to wean herself off him. Ryan was an ocean to her, calm on the outside, mellow, stubborn, but inside it was powerful and strong and once you were in it was hard to get out.
When they were little, young, they'd promised to stay together forever together no matter what. She'd imagined them married, in a perfect marriage where they'd escape everything they grew up with. In middle school, when they lost the ability to ignore everything wrong in their worlds, when Ryan had lost his virginity to another girl while Teresa did her first pot at a party, they promised that they'd depend on each other for everything, wouldn't lie or keep things, and stick together. She'd imagined him for her first time, and they'd leave and get jobs in a new city. In high school, when they started having sex and Tray went to jail for the first time and they tried crack Ryan got from his mom's boyfriend and they ended up on the beach watching the sunrise through lidded eyes, they promised that they wouldn't leave.
Teresa still wanted to leave, but she'd had stopped dreaming. Ryan had, too. They no longer made plans to do things together, hung out at school and did their best to avoid sobriety around each other. Neither wanted to see what had happened, knew that if they looked into each other's eyes they'd see everything they'd hated in their parents. Dependency and addiction and bad choices littering their past, their future.
He'd gotten out. He'd found a way to sneak away, to escape. It wasn't that he hadn't taken her, that she'd kept hoping after he gave up, that he had dragged her into helplessness with him. It was that he'd found out that not everything was doomed, and he hadn't told her.
Carry This Picture, Dashboard Confessionals
(Carry this picture for luck, kept in a locket
Tucked in your collar, close to your chest
Make it a secret, shown to the closest friends
And meet me at quarter to seven
The sun will still shine then at this time of year
We'll head to the inlet, and we'll share a bottle there
And color the coast with your smile
It's the most genuine thing I've ever seen
I was so lost, but now, I believe
And follow me south of the big docks
Where they tether the boats
The rich men revere as so important
The hire our fathers to steer
And down to the edge of the water
Where we'll spill our guts
And we'll name our fears, I'll give you this picture
Keep it and don't be scared
And color the coast with your smile
It's the most genuine thing I've ever seen
I was lost, but now, I believe in the coast
Your smile is the most genuine thing I've ever seen
I was lost, but now, I believe)