Vanessa suddenly woke up with a gasp, feeling for the covers that should be around her. where were they? she opened her eyes up more and sat up in her bed looking for her covers. she should of guessed. they were on the floor, the usual hang out for her duvet. every night she would go to bed kiss Zacs picture that was on her bedside table, wrap her self in her quilt and fall asleep, only to find that her usual nightmare would make her kick the duvet off herself.

That Nightmare...

The Nightmare that repeated itself over and over again all through winter break. Usually nightmares and dreams were just made up things in your head flicking from one thing to another - incredibly random...but this .

No.

This one was real, incredibly real and it had haunted Vanessa everynight for weeks.

She Got up and went to her bedroom looking into her mirror, a tear stained face looked sadly back up at her. Ergh she thought, it was time to do some serious damage control.

"Vanessa!!" her mom Gina called up the stairs to her "Hurry up Zac will be around for you soon"

Zac.

Zac her boyfriend. She had been so lucky when they had gotten together for a few months she couldn't of been happier. Then it all changed. She was so angry WHY DID IT HAVE TO CHANGE!!

"Yes mom! ill be down in 5" She yelled back really knowing it would take more then 5 minutes for her to get her act together.

As she looked into her mirror and started applying her make-up, she remembered when she couldn't look into the mirror at all. Disgusted by her own face.

20 minutes later.

"Vanessa!! Zacs here hurry up!" Her mom yelled once again up at her.

Vannesa slung her school bag over her shoulder and sighed deeply. There was no getting out of it she had been dreading this day for weeks. Going back to school, she shook herself and put on her fake "im pretending to be really happy so you wont notice whats really wrong face", left her room and began to descend the stairs.

When she reached the bottom she saw Zac standing at the end of the hallway, leaning lazily against the wall car keys in hand focusing on an old school picture of Vanessa when she was 7.

"I always hated that picture" She said deciding to break the silence and let Zac be aware of her standing there.

"You look cute" Zac replied showing his winner smile as Vanessa walked forwards and hugged him. She didn't know how she looked cute, she hadn't tried this morning like any other morning. Just some sweats and a hoodie.

Zac kissed the top of her head while Vanessa buried her head in his chest.

"I missed you" She said the sound slightly muffled.

Zac had been gone all winter break. Which wasnt necessarily a bad thing, it prevented all the questions that could of been asked. The question she really didn't have answers for. No. The questions she really didn't want to answer.

"I missed you to" he said

In Zacs car

"So babe how was your winter break? Im sorry we couldn't spend it together" Zac asked while pulling out of Vanessa drive way.

"Um...it was ok" she fiddled with the ring on her hand. The ring Zac had given her the night before the party that had changed everything.

"Hmmmm...had to have fun without me?" he smiled cheekily at her.

The Fake smile grew on Vanessa's face as she replied "I guess so ..."

"Are you ok babe? You dont seem your self?" he asked taking his eyes off the long road as he glanced over at Vanessa.

She Gulped.

"Yeah! Yeah im fine" she reassured him, sounding very convincing. Truth was she wasnt.

She wasnt at all as today was the day after all..

They pulled up into a parking space in the school grounds.

They got out of the car slinging their bags back over their shoulders.

Zac held out his hand to Vanessa as a signal for her to take it. She did.

And strangely all the fear was gone from her body if only momentarily she felt safe like no one in the world could even touch her.

Zac smiled at her while holding her hand tightly as they walked into school, where they were suddenly surrounded by people yelling their names saying hello.

This was really only to be expected they were the hottest and most popular people in East High.

Then a bubbly blonde haired girl linked her arms with Vanessa. Ashley - Her best friend since...well since forever.

"Hey there Zanessa!" she spoke loudly over everyone in the hall who were now deep in conversations about what they had done over winter break.

Zac and Vanessa looked her questioningly.

Laughing Zac asked "What the hell is Zanessa?"

"Zac your so naaive its cute...thats what EVERYBODY is calling you Zac and Vanessa Zanessa!!" she repliad excitedly.

"Right...well hi Ashley" Vanessa added entering the conversation.

"Now she notices me!!!! what happened to you all winter break!?!?!" she said as they reached their lockers.

"What do you mean? Vanessa didn't you do anything this Winter break?" asked Zac as he put in his combination.

Vanessa nervously answered "Well... i ...um fancied a quiet Christmas and that" mumbling she put her books into her locker.

"A quiet Christmas!! Zac she was practically non existent...Me, Lucas, Corbin and Monique invited her everywhere only to be told she didn't want to come..or..she was doing her hair..or..she didn't feel like it - it was so unlike Vanessa!!"

It was...Totally unlike Vanessa normally she would of gone out and had so much fun. Come to think of it she had missed that.

"You didn't?" Zac asked turning to Vanessa.

"Urgh...no as i said" she shut her locker " i felt like a quiet christmas"

That was so unlike Vanessa Zac thought.

As the bell rung overhead they headed to her classroom.

It was lunch time when Vanessa finally came face to face with him...the guy who had screwed up her life so much. Chad. A good looking guy who had always wanted to be Mr.Popular but never quite made it as that was Zacs spot.

Vanessa was reaching for a tray when she heard his voice "Hey there" she knew it was him immediately by the hairs that stood on the back of her neck.

She didn't even have to turn around.

She stayed Silent.

"Not talking to me?" He asked again "Ok fine but we will be seeing even more of each other Vanessa"

Vanessa turned around quickly to face him. See the sneer on his face his cheek bones clearly defined. "And whys that?" she whispered angrily.

"Havent you heard?" he said but then added "Of corse you havent! no one has seen you all Winter break!"

"Heard what?" Vanessa said...she couldn't believe she was talking to him..she was curious she admitted that...VERY curious.

"Im going out with your best friend"

Vanessa shook her head "No way"

"Nay" he said sneering even more profoundly "Ashley is my girlfriend"

This shocked her more than anything in the world. What if what had happened to her happened to Ashley..

"We could of been good together Vanessa...Really good" he said as they moved along the line closer to her.

"How did you come up with that? If you remember" Vanessa whispered furiously "You are the bastard that raped me!!"

"I wondered how long it would take you to come to that" he said smiling evily like he didnt care one bit about what he had done.

"You screwed up my life Chad..."

"And yet you havent told anyone?"

Vanessa stood silently.

It was true she hadn't.

She had felt so dirty after that night.

Ashamed , deeply ashamed... how could she of told anyone?? It was her word against his.

She wouldnt be believed.

Anyway she didn't have the energy or the confidence to tell anyone what so ever.

Vanessa put her tray down and walked out a tear silently falling down her face.

From her point of view...Things were never going to get better and this burden? It was never going to go away...never.

And that thought she couldn't stand.

As she entered an empty room and slid down to the floor crying uncontrolably everything came tumbling back.

The Blackness.

[Flash Back

It was the Winter break party that was being thrown at Ashleys house. Everyone was there.Vanessa was with Zac... they were having a great time. Vanessa needed to get some more alcohol so decided to go down to the old cellar Ashley had in her house. When suddenly the door closed and the little light that was in the room dissapeared.

Vanessa felt a presence overwhelm her.Some one was with her "whos there?" she asked slightly creeped out.

Suddenly something or someone was pushing her against the wall.

She struggled trying to scream and scratch away from the persons grasp.

It was a Man.

She knew that.

His hand covered her mouth as he hoisted up her leg and ran his hand up her top.

Vanessa Struggled against him trying to bite, scratch or do anything to break free.

Then Vanessa was pushed onto the floor the man looming heavily over her as he un-zipped himself still making sure Vanessa couldn't move. His power was overwhelming to her, she had no escape nothing to stop him as he un-zipped her brand new jeans and raped her.

The Door opened a slight crack...enough for Vanessa to see the face that was hurting her for his pleasure...she recognized him straight away as only yesterday she had been sitting next to him in english where he asked to borrow a pencil.

When he was done he zipped and straightened himself up "Thanks" he said simply like what he had just done was nothing...Nothing wrong.

He left as Vanessa pushed herself against a nearby wall and sat there hunched up and crying her eyes out.

After a while she straigtened herself up and left telling a girl to say goodbye to Zac.

[End of Flashback

She heard a knock on the door and started.

Ashley spoke through the door "Hello why is this door locked...who ever is in there needs to come out the bell for last period just went?"

Vanessa got up slowly and wiped her eyes, when she had composed herself she opened the door "Sorry Ash i just had to sort something out and didn't hear the bell go"

Ashley looked unsure at Vanessas face. She had obviously been crying she thought, what was going on with her recently? "Right...well ok" she said "Hunny are you ok?"

She was concerned Vanessa thought...she wanted to tell Ashley sooo much but she didn't have the strength. She was Gabriella the popular girl that everyone loved. The girl who could never have anything wrong with her.

"no im fine...totally and completely fine" she said

"Vanessa you forget i know you...something is wrong and i want to know!" she pushed Vanessa into the still empty room.

"Ashley!" Vanessa held Ashleys shoulders and looked into her eyes. This was going to be so hard...having to lie to her best friend!

But it was what had to be done.

"Nothing is wrong with me!" Vanessa exclaimed releasing Ashley shoulders.

"But.." continued Ashley.

She was pushing it Vanessa thought anymore and Vanessa would snap and not in a good way.