Title: Shards Pairing: Starbuck/Apollo - Starbuck/Cain
Series: Battlestar Galactica (2008) Rating: 18R Type: Fanfiction – Dark/AU
Summary: After Admiral Cain assassinates Adama she destroys the Galactica with all possible saboteurs.
Kara Thrace has earned Cains respect, quickly being promoted into the hierarchy of the Pegasus; only to keep her 'pet' alive... Lee Adama.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Battlestar Galactica characters or anything from the universe of Battlestar Galactica. I am just taking the characters and playing with them a while – promising to restore them whole and unblemished! Thanks to the makers of Battlestar Galactica for creating these toys for me to enjoy. Please don't take any of my playing as having any bearing on the actual series. Enjoy.
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"Red leader, red leader – I got three bogies on my six. Can't shake them..."
"I got 'em Roadhog. Inbound on your three in twenty."
"Negative. That's negative Starbuck. Their weapons are hot. I'm breaking off."
"Roadhog. Hold your course!"
"Negative! They're all over my killzone!"
"Listen to me! Hold your Gods damned course, pilot."
"Breaking off."
The explosion had left spots in her vision. Kara had to blink hard to line up her landing measures. It took the whole docking procedures before she could see colours the way they were meant to look.
The chief deckhand personally fetched her wheels and climbed up to cap her bird. The chief was enthusiastic, she'd give him that. He wasn't Tyrol, but he was Latino... And he was eager to please. It didn't pay to upset senior officers onboard the Battlestar Pegasus.
Kara watched the young man's movement and felt her mouth dry. She particularly liked his long, dark fingers.
"It wasn't your fault, colonel." He said quite softly, looking up through his dark lashes, seductively. He knew he was hot and was certainly not as innocent as he appeared.
"I know, Chief." Kara sighed, pushing a hand through her hair, trying her best to keep her calm and look unaffected. "Mark 'em up."
With a dazzling smile, the chief scored up another three kills on the side of her viper.
"How's she looking?" Kara smiled, allowing herself the time to flirt.
The chief looked back with chocolate-rich eyes, "She's looking hot for a service, Sir."
Kara felt a long dimmed fire spark and twitched in anticipation.
"Sir." A timid deck-hand called from the side. "Sorry, sir. Do you have a moment?"
Kara didn't take her eyes from the chief. "What is it?"
"It's about your... pet, sir."
"Frack." Kara hissed, pushing herself free of the cockpit. "Where is he?"
"In the brig, Ma'am."
"Figures." Kara made her way out of the hanger, throwing a look to the chief, "Looks like that service will have to wait."
()
Kara gave the guard a sloppy salute as she entered the brig.
"Out," was all she had to say and the seasoned security officers abandoned their posts.
All except one. Davies leered toward the prisoner, eyes half-lidded, lips dry. Kara didn't trust the guy and never had, as far as her pet was concerned.
"Davies. You're still here."
"Under orders." He stated, never taking his eyes from the prisoner.
Kara focused on the corporal. "Out. Now."
He lingered a bit too long for her liking, but did leave.
One down, Kara thought as she turned.
No matter how downtrodden and dishevelled, he could still take her breath away. He stood with his broad back to her, the muscles showing beneath the thin, military issue t-shit... that noble stance and defiant tilt of the head. Gods, she could feel the blood heating in her veins as he turned toward her.
"Apollo, what have you done now?"
He stood slightly to attention. Some remnant of the proud airman burned on behind those tired eyes. "I hit a lieutenant."
Kara shook her head. She knew what the punishment would be for that offence. So did Apollo. She hoped it had been worth it. "Which one?"
"Baker." Apollo answered without hesitation.
She had to cough back a grin. Baker was a hard-line ass. Spent too long giving out hot-air and less time actually doing half the things he threatened. It felt good to know Apollo had knocked him on his backside.
She took a moment to contain herself. "Why?"
"He called you a hack pilot." Apollo said, curtly.
"And?"
Apollo's eyes burned. "He said what he'd do to you if you were his subordinate."
It took a moment for that to sink in. A part of her wanted to ring Bakers neck... the other part of her looked at Apollo with too much tenderness... she knew what was about to happen.
"Haven't I warned you to keep your tongue?" Kara could feel herself building a wall. Hoping that she was strong enough to cope with what was to come. "I've told you to keep your head down and just do as you're told. You don't hit officers. You don't hit anyone. Haven't I told you?"
He looked straight through her.
She approached him, taking the end of his chin and tilting his face to the light. A bruise deepened over his left cheek. You're getting slow, flyboy. Time was Apollo could have taken any one of the half-wits onboard Pegasus. But that was a time when he was a serving officer. That was years ago. That was when Galactica was still around. That was when he was permitted adequate rations.
"What am I going to do with you?" She asked, letting her fingers linger on his flesh.
For a moment, she saw his ocean eyes soften. And he looked beautiful...
"That's a very good question." A third voice chimed from the cell entrance.
Kara straightened and turned to attention. "Admiral."
Cain stalked into the room, followed by two armed guards [a precaution she had taken since she ordered Galactica's destruction]
"When I said you could keep him, there were certain conditions." Cain looked at Apollo with distaste. "Striking an officer is a serious offence. So, what are you going to do with him, Colonel?"
Kara had no answer and, before she knew it, Cain was honing in for the kill. The Admiral looked to her, eyes stone. She walked into the cell and owned it, owned everything and everyone in it without question or hesitation.
The Admiral had a soft spot for Kara. Kara knew it. She used it to her advantage on more than one occasion. She was hoping that it might work to her advantage now... it didn't.
"It's either up to you to discipline him or I'll have my officers do it, colonel."
Kara looked at Cain, then about the room to the other officers. Baker was there, leering at her, while Davies was focused on Apollo.
Kara straightened her tunic and sucked herself in. She turned, covertly drinking from the hipflask her mother had passed-on to her. She had sworn she would never use it, but these were distasteful times.
Letting the liquid burn its way down her throat, Kara wished it would sear away the next few moments... and what was about to happen.
She closed on Apollo, very aware of the eyes at her back.
"On your knees Apollo." She ordered, already feeling herself numb.
He defied her, standing and awaiting his fate.
Starbuck extended her baton.
She was within striking range. But that also meant she could hear Apollo's words where the others were spared.
"You never call me Lee anymore," He said, not raising his voice, but bringing his eyes to hers, "Don't you think that's interesting, Starbuck?"
She couldn't hear this right now. Bringing the butt of her baton to the end of his chin, she watched the explosion of blood as he staggered back from the blow. How she hated herself for what she was about to do.
The officers in the observation room muttered as Apollo wavered. But he stood back up, wiping the blood from his split lip and, to their disappointment, he was back to attention. Leave it to Adamas son to make things difficult.
Starbuck advanced, but Apollo didn't motion, didn't move until the baton jabbed him under the ribs and delivered an electric charge.
Apollo grimaced, his body reacting against his will and curling inward. She cut the power before his head touched her shoulder.
She pressed the hipflask into his hand. "Take the frackin' drink."
He was breathing heavily, eyes tight shut and jaw locked.
She was trying her best to focus on the bulkhead. Perhaps this time, he would see sense. He'd take the gods damned flask and this would be over easier.
Apollo's body tensed and he stood back to attention. Toned muscles tightened and stood firm, erect against the onslaught of senses she exacted with the extension of the baton in her hand.
"Fine," Starbuck hissed, tucking the flask back into her pocket, "Have it your way."
Driving the baton into his kidney, she released the shock that sent him to his knees.
Starbucks vision was changing. The room was becoming warm. She raised her voice to the crowd beyond the glass door. "Apologise."
"No." Apollo said.
Starbuck couldn't hear the electric crack, but felt the backwash run up her wrist.
Apollo was grinding his teeth against the pressure. Not that it mattered, it never did.
"Apologise."
"No."
Starbuck turned to her superior. Cain gave a quick nod.
The shock delivered to Apollo was applied to his thigh. It wasn't designed to be painful... after a fashion.
Muscles tightened. Apollo seized.
"Don't do this." He hissed as the last part of Kara was swallowed in a blanket of detachment. She, simply, wasn't there.
The baton hit the floor and she was gripping his hands above his head, pressing him against the metal wall.
She couldn't help herself, the twisted liquid was starting to take effect. She was losing herself in the scent of him.
"Do you think..." Apollo grunted as she pressed herself into his side, "maybe, that you can't call me by my name –"
His voice wavered as her tongue ran over his lip.
"You were saying." Starbuck breathed in his ear.
She felt him tighten.
Starbuck pushed his hands back, making his back arch and pelvis tilt to hers.
Gods, that felt good. She was losing.
"You can't say my name Starbuck," Apollo continued as Starbuck ground into him, beginning to form a rhythm up and down his leg. "Because it would mean I was a person."
Starbuck grunted, hauling him from the wall to the floor. He fell, hitting the back of his head on the deck, disorientating him enough for her to straddle him. She tore at his t-shirt, ripping it up and away.
Apollo lay back against the deck, letting Starbuck claw at him without resistance. He knew well enough, there was nothing he could do. Some part of her hoped that he might not be able to sense the eyes burning into her back.
His voice was distant. "You can't do it Starbuck."
She was already buried, had to cover his mouth with hers to shut him up. He tasted of salt and musk and blood. It only made her crazy. She ground into him and felt his body react. She moved away to catch breath and felt his chest swell.
He was speechless and as lost in her as she was in him. His hand grasping for her pants. She helped him push them away.
Before she knew what she was doing, she had reared up and sent a blind strike out. It caught him, clean, across the jaw.
She fastened him, with incredible force. He was helpless, aroused, ashamed.
Starbuck was hardly aware that she had wrenched his combats away.
"Colonel." Cain intervened.
There was enough in the tone to make Starbuck turn to her. She exposed Apollos naked form to the gathered audience. It gave Apollo enough time to know he was defeated. Humiliated.
Starbuck was unaware she was whining until the sound became too intense for Cain to ignore.
"Take him." The Admiral instructed.
A monster turned to the naked man in the room; ravenous and immoral.
Starbuck hardly felt the impact of her knuckles against Apollos jaw until the man was on the ground and she had straddled him.
Their rhythm quickened, sweat mingling from one to the other without distinction. He was surrounded by her as he was her anchor, pushing through to her very soul.
He was pulsing, hot and steady. Apollos hands tightened at the swell. The wave crashed into her with a deep movement, making her cry equal to his.
They came to rest on the crest of the peak.
She knew how much an effort it was for him to speak and, though it was hardly a whisper, he said, "Kara. Why can't I touch you?"
She was riding the current, resting on his chest. Gods knew why she did it. Of all the times... but he was around her, inside her as their passions cooled. So she leaned to his ear and breathed, "Lee."
She pulled back, eager to see the look in his eye. Would it bare surprise? Desire? Hope?
What she saw shrivelled her insides.
He was blank. Nothing. There was nothing in those limpid pools.
No hope. No defiance. No Lee.
Starbuck rolled off the man she knew she had just killed, still a little sore from the intensity of the ordeal, knowing she had effectively murdered the only man she had ever loved.
()
It had been three days since Apollos punishment and he still wouldn't look Starbuck in the eye. Everyone had been satisfied with the performance and agreed Starbuck would be allowed to take Apollo back to her quarters for further chastisement.
Starbuck had led him through the corridors, his face bloodied and clothing torn. She had pulled him behind her, like a dog, as he staggered his way through the curious crowd.
Some of the Pegasus crew laughed and jeered at the son of Adama. Others averted their eyes. One or two of the Galactica survivors saw the spectacle. Most turned away, but one or two looked upon Starbuck with hatred. The same hatred she felt for herself.
Cain had soon realised that male degradation often took the same root as female. Shame and dishonour bore the same fruit from both sexes. And the same method could be applied in each case.
The baton created an electric pulse to facilitate this. It forced the male participation.
Starbuck had found the first time she disciplined Apollo before her SO horrific. She had beaten him so badly for making her perform such a violation in front of others. Then she wept. She couldn't trust anyone else or what they might do in her place.
Apollo never seemed to understand why she had to do what she did. She had been in Cain's favour while serving on Galactica. The admiral had displayed a certain level of interest in a kindred spirit. It seemed she looked on Starbuck as a ward... if not more...
After Cain had destroyed Galactica, Starbuck had joined the fighter squadrons. Cain had promoted her quickly and she found she had a lot of sway on the admiral. Which is why she accepted the bridge posting. It was for him. To keep Apollo out of harm. To keep him alive.
Starbuck had saved Apollo's life. She had stopped Cain from executing him along with the senior survivors from Galactica. She'd argued the Admiral around. Told her that they needed the crew and the best way to keep the skilled workers from Galactica in-line was to keep Apollo alive. She vowed he would be no cause for mutiny. She begged Cain to allow him to be her responsibility. Her pet. She would discipline him.
Starbuck had just enough of the Admirals respect to earn her the privilege.
Yes, she kept Apollo's body alive. Fed and clothed him. But she watched his spirit die with each passing day.
Kara hated herself that little bit more. Not that she could show it. She was a Colonel in the colonial fleet. Which was a joke in and of itself... She was second in command of the battlestar Pegasus. She couldn't afford to second guess her actions. She had no time to regret them. All she could do was put one army-issue boot in front of the other and move on.
One day she'd forget what was behind her. She hoped Apollo understood that to some degree. She hoped that he would forgive her.
Starbuck looked at him now. He had sewn the tears in his t-shirt and repaired the rip in his pants. He looked terrible, gaunt, his hair was dishevelled and he'd gone without shaving for a few days. Starbuck had been forced to cut his rations, again, by Cain's order. He was on basic sustenance, which was worse than pigswill.
Starbuck wasn't allowed to take food back to her quarters when Apollo was being punished in this way. She hated seeing him like this.
"Don't even start with me." She warned, heading to her rack.
He brought her a large glass of ambrosia before she even drew breath to ask for it...
"I live to serve." He explained, retreating to the relevant safety of the kitchenette.
Starbuck swallowed her annoyance with the drink and walked toward him. "Apollo," she began, before being cut off by the man turning to her...
She always admired that Adama pride. But it couldn't be her weakness.
He stood before her now, chin up, eyes daring to meet hers. She couldn't let him get too cocky or the next time he disobeyed her could be the end of him.
Her knuckle spilt across his jaw and she hissed at the pain.
Apollo hauled himself up from the floor. Kara was still panting from the exertion... and the emotion she tried her best to deny.
Before she knew what she was doing, she had gripped his vest and dragged him to her, pressing his lips to hers. He didn't react. Not to push her away or draw her near. Just stood there and let it happen.
Karas passion withered on his unresponsive lips. She looked into his dull eyes. "Remember your place." She hissed.
His hands were on her arms in a heartbeat, his lips crushing hers, his tongue pushing into her mouth. She was, at once, surprised and thrilled, throwing her hands into his hair and driving her body against his.
He reacted immediately, using her momentum to spin her up and onto the kitchen surface.
Kara broke away to inhale the exhilaration of the motion. "Gods I've missed you." She breathed, sinking her teeth into his shoulder, tearing at his pants.
He gave a sharp hiss and said, "I live to serve."
It was like ice water. Kara froze. All this... was performance. Because he had to?
"What?" She asked dangerously.
"Whatever you wish of me," he answered, "mistress."
Her response was quick and painful as he reeled from the blow.
Then she was forcing her lips to his with such power she barely registered his hands at the small of her back, pressing her into him...
It never bothered her before how he reacted to their joint humiliation. But, somehow... the thought that this whole mess had begun from Lee's simple reaction to defend her honour made her all the more aggressive.
Deep down, she wondered what honour she could claim.
Her greatest achievement had been keeping the man who was panting and heaving beneath her alive. Her surviving crew mates hated her for that. Hated her for abandoning Bill Adama... but Bill Adama had understood... she had done it to save his son...
A jagged burst of air broke from her as her uniform jacket was yanked free, the buttons popping and flying about the officers quarters.
She gripped Lee's hair at the roots, forcing his head back.
His lips parted from their sensational caresses of her collarbone and he looked up to her, pinked and questioning.
"You're going to have to sew those back on." She explained, shrugging the jacket off and plunging her hand down her pants.
His fingers were already there, working the clasps and removing the restrictive clothing.
Kara juddered as his lips moved back to her neck, catching her flesh between his teeth. She shifted her fingers to the clasps of his trousers, earning a deep moan from Lee as his breath blew across her skin and moved them to the sofa.
He was more than ready to accommodate her; urgently pushing the fabric separating their flesh away, Lee tore at the remnants of uniform until they were before one another, naked and heaving closer and closer...
All she could feel was the length of him at her thigh, hesitating a moment as they pressed together.
"Kara?" He asked.
"Lee," she sighed, wishing they were not who they had become, wanting more than anything else, to turn back the clock, "please. Lee." Forgive me.
Placing a hand at the small of her back, Lee straightened her on his lap and locked eyes with her.
There was an eternity in that moment. They were utterly alone, the last two people in the universe... and they belonged to each other.
Then Lee gently lowered her onto him, the motion so slow and gentle that it stole the breath from her lungs as her legs folded either side of him. Her chest pushed outward and Lee tore the cup of her tank top up to catch the underside of her breast with his mouth.
Kara jerked, slamming down the last few centimetres of him and earning a grunt and hard bite.
Her hands were in his hair, yanking his face away from her flesh so she could see him as she rose away and clenched him inside her.
Lees eyes swam with sensation, gritting his teeth against the pressure, then she slid down him again, swirling her hips and feeling Lee move to meet her.
Her head lolled back as her body responded to the familiar strength within her.
It was Lee. It was always Lee.
Kara gasped as his hands angled her to let him move deeper within her as light became a blend of colour and the only sound was their symphonic breathing which grew faster and louder…
They were so close now... right at the brink.
A whimper escaped her as her body tensed and she dug her nails into his shoulders, feeling her muscles clench about him as he shuddered to climax.
They rested in each others arms and Kara allowed herself a moment to hold him closer... she could allow herself this. If only for a short time.
She enjoyed the scent of him, the feel of slick skin on skin, heat mixing into the air about them as their bodies cooled.
()
Reporting for duty, Starbuck accepted reports from the section heads, noting a decline in productivity in the ore ship that provided the rag-tag fleet with fuel. She shook her head, knowing what was to come.
"Cain to Thrace." The comm.-system called, "Come to the situation room."
With a sigh, Starbuck exited the bridge and found herself in the admirals office. Inside the room was cold, as Cain preferred. The admiral opted for short meetings and keeping her staff uncomfortable, so as they would produce concise reports and leave with haste.
Today was as any other. Starbuck found Cain on her treadmill, the familiar glisten of sweat on her brow from countless hours of exercise whilst reading reports and signing documents.
"I trust you have news." Cain said, barley repressing the note of rage in her question.
Kara had learned that the admiral began most meetings in this fashion. It was a ploy to make the guilty feel on edge so that they might reveal any mishaps or failures on their own.
She had nothing to be afraid of, and as such had nothing to fear.
"May I ask on which project the admiral is referring."
Cain looked at her, flipping the form that rested on the stand at her side. "Don't toy with me, Thrace."
Kara felt the familiar murmur in her chest.
"I am speaking of your... pet."
Her whole chest tightened, "Ma'am?"
Cain slowed the speed on her treadmill until she was stood on the machine, glaring at Starbuck. "He's your Achilles heel Thrace. The thorn in your side. When will you admit that?"
Kara thought a moment. "It is... necessary to keep him, ma'am. He is a symbol to the survivors of Galactica."
Cain stepped off the treadmill and wiped at her forehead with a towel. "Explain that to me."
"He's an important symbol to the remaining Galactica crew... that you triumphed over his father. This will keep rebellion down."
Cain held up her hand. "Spare me," she threw the towel at her wash-basket, "you give me that same worn-out excuse every time he assaults one of my officers."
Kara bit her tongue. She knew that Cain despised Adama and that prejudice had passed down to his son. But, up to now, she had managed to keep the Admiral distracted enough that Apollo remained safe and, mostly, forgotten.
She was walking on thin ice and the heat was about to be turned up. Kara had often wondered when the admiral would take her price for the favour of keeping Apollo alive. She took a breath and figured that the payment would begin tonight.
"I think your need to keep Adama around is less to do with crew discipline and more to do with you."
Anything she said now might break the ground beneath her, so Kara remained silent and watched the Admiral circle her.
"Don't think you've been fooling anyone, Thrace." She hissed as she passed closer, "You smell of him," she commented, tearing Kara's jacket down to her elbows and locking her arms there. "You stink of Adama." Cain continued, burying her face in Karas neck and biting her way to her chest, "Here and here..."
This was it. Crunch time. Kara would have to make her forget completely about Lee Adama. And there was only one way to do that...
Using her weight, Kara rolled them round and land on the hard floor of the admirals office.
Cain hissed, throwing her head back in anticipation as Kara thrust a thigh between her legs, roughly jerking her weight back and forth as the admiral groaned.
"Am I making it better?"
Cain strained against her as Kara wrenched her jacket open, popping the buttons and tearing her vest across her chest.
Kara roughly tore at the Admirals trousers, wrenching them down and spreading the other womans legs with her own.
Cain groaned as Kara's fingers pushed beneath her underwear and rubbed at her centre, roughly circling her until the Admiral was grinding back to the touch, arching her back and clenching her eyes against the pressure.
"Thrace…" the Admiral hissed as Kara moved to suckle her neck. "Right there."
And Kara was a loyal and good officer, right to the last as she pushed and drove herself where the admiral demanded until she was rewarded with the other woman groaning and sighing in completion.
It wasn't how it should have been. But it was how it was.
That was all that comforted her as she returned to her quarters and observed the cleanliness and order her slave had afforded for her.
She was alive. So was he. For now.
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