A/N: A friend of mine recently drew a thing of Ace and 12 out on some adventure that involves the vague suggestion of explosions in the background, so I whipped this up as sort of an accompaniment. Basically, I've wanted to write these two interacting for a very long time and I finally got an excuse.


Daleks and Chips

This was wrong. All this was very, very wrong.

Well, that wasn't precisely the truth. It was a Wednesday, so that part was correct. It was London, so that was correct as well. He was staring at a young woman (at least, he thought she was young; humans tended to all appear so similar to this face), and she was definitely glad to see him. It was just that…

"Hey there, Professor! You do the face-changing thing already?" Ace asked as she pushed her way into the TARDIS. "I know you said you do that on occasion, but I didn't think it'd happen so… hey, you moved everything around too! Made it sort of like a cross between a library and oh, I don't know…" She dropped her bag on the floor and began to slowly spin around, taking in the new interior.

"Ace, you need to leave, now," the Doctor ordered. "You shouldn't be here—I'm not your Doctor."

"Of course you're mine. You're you, aren't you? Just a bit more Scottish, is all." She glanced over at the console and saw the telepathic controls. "Ace! You found the TARDIS's brain!" Before the Doctor could stop her, she dug her fingers into the control panel and the ship rumbled into the time vortex.

"What did I tell you about paradoxes?!" he hissed as the TARDIS lurched to a halt. The Doctor yanked Ace's hands out of the console and waved his own about wildly as he gave her a scolding. "We need to get you back to your proper place in the time stream quickly, before the past me notices you're gone, or we might have a lot of trouble on our hands." He didn't remember hunching nearly as much last time he talked with her.

"Okay, but, where did the TARDIS take us?" she asked. He rolled his eyes and looked at the display screen only to double-take. Squinting, he tried to make out their location, but he couldn't.

"That… is a very good question, although I think a quandary just as appropriate is when did the TARDIS take us?" He glided over to the door and poked his head out; everything seemed average and Earthly enough… just not the same time they had left. Ace popped her own head underneath his arm to take a look.

"Well this isn't exciting at all," she frowned. "When are we? 1963? You took me here already."

"Not quite," the Doctor said. He walked out into the alleyway they had landed in and flicked his tongue. "More like 1960." Another taste of the air. "Cardiff, to be more precise."

"Why are we in 1960 Cardiff?" Ace closed the door of the TARDIS behind her, hefting her backpack over her shoulders. "Did I do this?"

"Yes, and why?" he puzzled. "Ten years before you were born, three years before I first landed… we're not even in the same general area and… oi! Get back here!" He ran after his young companion, arms flailing, catching up to her as she wandered about the main street. "I thought I told you we need to get you back."

"…but aren't you curious, Professor? Your old face would have at least looked around."

"Yes, this is true, but that was a few faces ago, and this is a few faces hence." Crossing time streams and meeting up with old companions was always a hassle, he groused. He never did know how to handle them and they never had a uniform way of handling his various changes. "Listen, it is very important that we leave—I don't know I exist, and…"

"You're no fun, you know that?" Ace grumbled. "At least let us walk around." She looked up at him and gave her best pout, one she knew worked on at least two other versions of him (that she could remember), and hoped for the best. His eyebrows twitched as he resisted, his endurance quickly crumbling.

"Alright, but only if you buy us some chips—I know I gave you some pre-decimalized money not long ago," he groaned. "And leave your bag in the TARDIS. The last thing we need is for you to go blowing things up."

"Don't worry, Professor! I'll behave!" she grinned. After putting her bag back inside the TARDIS door, she fished some coins from her jacket pocket and they began their attempt at finding a chip vendor.

Eventually they did find a chip cart and Ace did have enough money, which led to them munching their snack quietly as they walked along. Their pace was slow and it was mostly the Doctor picking off whatever his young companion could gobble up. With chips soon gone and wrapper discarded, they found themselves walking along the edge of a park.

"So…" Ace began, "you doing alright with this face?"

"Yeah, I guess you can say that," he shrugged. "A lot of time has passed between the face you know and this one though, and not all of it was good."

"You at least seeing someone?" she asked. He glanced down at her and quirked a brow.

"If you mean travelling with someone, then yes I am."

"No, Professor… I mean seeing someone," Ace emphasized. "You know, hitting the town and knocking about or whatever it is they say in…"

"…1960 Cardiff."

"That, yeah. Are you?"

The Doctor thought on that for a moment before nodding. "Sort of; it's complicated."

"Well then how about me? What am I doing?"

"Hard saying." He saw the disappointment on her face and tried to figure out how to make things more digestible. "Time tends to converge on my traveling companions in an odd way, so I can never tell how many pasts or futures I'm dealing with when it comes to them, and you're no different."

"Never a straight answer out of you, no matter what face I run into," she sulked. "You're not making use of your new looks, letting them go to waste, and can't even tell me how I'm doing. What bunk." Jamming her hands in her jacket pockets, she turned her head to look away and her eye caught a quick glimpse of something rather familiar creeping into an alleyway. "Uh… Professor…?"

"Ace, we are not having this talk," the Doctor grumbled. The tips of his ears turned red as he scratched at his scalp. "If you need to talk to someone, I guess I can take you to Clara and she can sit you down and…"

"No, look! Daleks!" She pointed at the alleyway, where they could see as a Dalek turned the corner at the opposite end. The Doctor muttered under his breath as he took the sonic screwdriver from his pocket and began to glide towards danger, certain that Ace was close behind.

"Well, would you look at that," the Time Lord growled as he crouched behind some crates, watching his quarry. Three Daleks were sitting in the alleyway, not moving, not speaking, and not creating a scene. "They seem to be awaiting orders."

"Should I go back to the ship and get some Nitro-9, Professor?" Ace asked quietly. The Doctor shook his head.

"Don't lie to me—you've got a couple cans in your jacket—and no. There's something odd about these Daleks, and I don't think it's the new regeneration."

"You mean you haven't seen them with this face yet?!" she whispered. "That's perfect! They won't know what hit them!"

"No, no, no, not this strain of Dalek. You know about factions, so do keep up…" he hissed lowly, pointing at the Daleks. They watched as the aliens stood still before spinning in place and then whirring off.

"Have you ever seen Daleks do that, Professor?" Ace wondered.

"No, but I do have an idea. Go back and get some of that Nitro-9 you're not supposed to be synthesizing in my TARDIS and find me with this. You'll know what to do." He put his watch on her wrist and hit a button on the side. A map of the surrounding area projected up into a miniature hologram, a little flashing light signaling where they were. The Doctor held up his right hand, displaying the blinking stone in his ring.

"Ace! You can count on me!"


The three scout Daleks rolled into the empty warehouse, approaching their commanding officer with great haste. The floor of the building was buzzing with Dalek activity and steeped in concentrated hatred.

"WE HAVE GOOD NEWS," the first Scout Dalek announced.

"PROCEED," ordered their officer.

"WE HAVE SCOURED THE AREA. THE BEING KNOWN AS 'THE DOCTOR' IS NOT WITHIN THE VICINITY. HE SHALL NOT THWART US."

"ARE YOU CERTAIN?"

"WE HAVE CHECKED THE CITY, THE SEASIDE, THE QUARRIES, AND HAVE FOUND NO TRACE," another Scout Dalek replied.

"EXCELLENT," the officer said. "THIS SHALL BE THE JUMP-OFF POINT FOR ALL FURTHER DALEK ACTIVITY ON EARTH. WE SHALL CONQUER IT BEFORE THE DOCTOR HAS THE CHANCE TO LAND AND WE SHALL EXTERMINATE ANYONE WHO STANDS IN OUR WAY."

"Ooh, boy, then I've got some bad news for you; absolutely dreadful," a voice chuckled. The Daleks began whizzing about, trying to locate the source of the interruption.

"REVEAL YOURSELF!"

"Chances are you don't want that," the Doctor grinned. He stepped out from the shadows on the catwalk above his enemies. The Daleks all turned their eye stalks upwards, observing the intruder.

"IDENTIFY YOURSELF, OR YOU SHALL BE EXTERMINATED."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? You exterminate me, you'd be lauded as heroes!" The Doctor slid down a hand railing, skipping the steps to another layer of the metal walkway.

"EXPLAIN!"

"No need; you have all the data you need to figure it out."

"ANALYZING DATA. PERSON UNKNOWN. IDENTIFY."

"I think you know precisely who I am," he sneered. "I am the Architect of your Demise, Dalek Slayer, the Oncoming Storm, Ka Faraq Gatri, the Great Scourge…"

"ANALYZING DATA. YOU ARE NOT THE DOCTOR. THE DOCTOR IS ON GALLIFREY."

"Check your records again," the Doctor warned. He climbed up on an escape ladder and sonicked the latch open, allowing him to safely drop down to the floor. "I'm the Doctor, and I am the man that destroys the monsters… or at least, I keep around those who can. HIT IT, ACE!"

"EAT NITRO, JERKS!" Ace cackled. The Daleks all turned their eye stalks towards the front of the building, where the teen had uncapped a canister of Nitro-9 and rolled it towards a load-bearing support beam. It exploded, causing the building to begin collapsing and even more explosive canisters to go off, all having been quickly placed while the Daleks were distracted. The Doctor quickly began to run for the door, grabbing hold of the tiny pyromaniac in the process, and booked it all the way to where they had left the TARDIS. The two collapsed on the floor as they entered, winded from the constant sprint.

"Wow… you've a shit run in this face, Professor," Ace laughed between breaths.

"That explains why 1960 Cardiff," he wheezed. "Just go… stick your hand in the TARDIS's brain again." He didn't even feel like explaining the technical cleverness he had poured into the telepathic navigation and waved her along. Ace righted herself and stuck her hand in the console, sending them back through time and space. When the ship finally stopped, the Doctor had caught his breath (impressive, considering his respiratory-bypass system) he opened the door to shove Ace out and was met by an equally-tall companion.

"There you are," Clara groaned as she entered into the TARDIS, jamming her finger in the Doctor's shoulder. He spun on his heel and stood there placidly, listening to her as she talked her way around the room. "Here I was, waiting, having to entertain the wrong you, and you have the nerve to show up with only half an hour left in Wednesday. I don't know what to do with you anymore."

Before she could hear any more of the conversation, Ace slipped out of the ship and into an already-cramped sitting room that was even more cramped by the presence of two versions of the TARDIS. The Doctor, her Doctor, was sitting on the settee, casually drinking tea.

"Did you have a nice trip?" he asked as he put down his cup and stood. "How does the Future Me compare?"

"He's alright, I suppose. You must have swapped faces in some Glasgow punk dive," Ace shrugged, adjusting how her bag sat on her shoulder. She cracked a smile as the TARDIS she just exited shut its door and warped out of view. "That your future girlfriend?"

"That's a teacher at Coal Hill School, and this is her flat," the Doctor explained, picking up his umbrella and hat from their resting spot on the table. He ignored the look of horror and disgust that spread across Ace's face as he walked back to his TARDIS. "I always seem to be running into them. Come along now; we've got places to explore."

"A teacher?! Cor, Professor, your standards must've slipped or something in your old age." She shook her head and sighed, following him into the ship. The door closed and it too disappeared from the flat.