YES, I know I have two other stories that are sadly awaiting my attention...but this has been inside my head for too long waiting to come out. I'm really bad at this whole writing-stories-through-to-completion-without-getting-sidetracked thing. I do plan to complete everything I've started - it's just taking me a looong time.

Anyway, this is a little experiment of mine. First time writing the characters as humans. Also, writing from the characters' perspectives. Howdy x Dexter because they are my OTP. Might get a little sexy. Be warned.

Friday afternoon again and I'm sitting in front of my computer as always, staring blankly at the screen, fingers resting heavy against the keyboard. This is as far as I usually get: new message open, subject line empty, a single word at the top.

Howdy,

But today, I tell myself, I'll go through with it. It's bad enough that I'm too weak-willed to talk to him in person, or even call him on the phone. The least I can do is force myself to write this damn email. I take a deep breath, steel myself, and bang out an opening line.

I can't do this anymore.

Simply stated, to the point. Maybe that's all I needed? I could hit 'send' now and he'd get the message. It would be best to keep all of these stupid feelings to myself, anyway, right?

No, I should give him a bit more than that. I close my eyes, try to focus, figure out how best to word things without coming across as overly emotional.

I can't keep sharing you with her. It's breaking me down.

I'm trying to ignore the tears that have sprung up, uninvited, in the corners of my eyes, but now they're spilling down my face, and one of them has decided to travel down my nose and slip under the bridge of my glasses, which start sliding down my face. Rather than push them back, I snatch them off my face and drop them carelessly on the desk in front of me. Then I lean back, palms pressed against my face, and choke back a sob. I bite my lip to try to keep it in, a little too hard, and I can taste the blood as it seeps to the surface.

Then I hear it – the little 'blip' signaling a new instant message. It makes my breath catch in my throat, because it's him, I know it's him. It's always him. For a moment, I won't look. I lean forward, cross my arms on my desk and rest my face on top of them. A few more sobs find their way out, and I'm embarrassed, even though I'm alone. When did I turn into such a giant, slobbering baby? Over him?

I wait until my breath has returned to as close to normal as it's going to get, and then I glance up at the screen.

Tonight, your place? ;)

It's the little winky face at the end that really gets me. It's like this is all just a game to him, like he's having all the fun in the world just stringing me along.

I sit up, let out a deep sigh, try to clear my mind. Now's my chance. All I have to do is type "No." Or not even respond. I could leave the question floating there, just ignore him and go out and get in my car and drive until I'm out of town and leave this whole shitty situation behind me.

So what do I do? I click inside the message box and type,

See you then.

I hit send and immediately curse myself and my weakness. I'm trying to think of some way to undo what I've just done. I could say I have another engagement I'd forgotten about. Yeah, that would work. I'm deciding how to word it when the next message arrives.

Can't wait! XOXOX

Shit. Just like that, he's hooked me again.

For a moment I sit in silence, waiting to see if he'll say anything else, beating myself up inside for falling again. Then I return to the email I'd been typing and, against my better judgment, click the little X in the corner.

Are you sure? the program asks me. I'm beginning to think my computer has more sense than I do. I hesitate for a moment, then click the box labeled "Yes" before I can second-guess myself.

Well. Here we go again.