Unwilling: Allo! We watched Narnia the other day, and couldn't help laughing when I (Unwilling) quoted Jadeite as Jadis was about to kill Aslan. See if you can find the quote in this chapter.

Oh, and did you know that the talking griffin is my drama teacher?

Seriously.

Unsworn: ... Look, just be glad that we don't own anything. Capeesh? And, yes folks, that was the disclaimer.

Unwilling: Capeesh, captain!

Unsworn: ...

Jadis, queen of Narnia (or so she'd like to think) was not in a good mood. For one thing, her realm had just been invaded by a bunch of kids. Christian kids. Sons of Adam. And Eve, who Jadis privately considered a slut.

Reaching for the high-tech phone she stole from Beelzebub in Eoin Colfer's the Wish List, she stared.

And stared. And jumped around, clucking like a chicken.

We joke. She stared even more.

She finally came to a very angsty conclusion, and pressed the cute little green 'talk' button.

Elsewhere…

"We are now the Knights who say: Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-ptang-zoo-boing-mumble-mumble!" Said a tall and thoroughly not frightening knight.

Whoops. Another Elsewhere…

"Qu—Queen Beryl-sama! AAA—"

The theme song to Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon rang out.

"Erm, Jeda-chan, could you hold on a second? I mean, there is no way you could do anything else, because you have no personality, and therefore, no brain. And, of course, that you're half frozen…" said a woman with an impossibly-low neckline on her dress.

Or boob-grabbers, or whatever.

The music continued, annoyingly loud.

With a loud sigh, Beryl checked the caller ID. "Beelzebub? I already told him I'm interested in Sam Linnfer! Hello, bastard?"

"I'll have you know that our parents were married when they had me. Your father, however…"

Beryl blinked. Jadeite hesitantly said, "Er, Queen Beryl-sama, could you please unfreeze me? I …kinda need to go to the necessary…"

Beryl frowned. "Do I look like I have time to deal with you? Piss in the crystal!"

"I would, but, um, certain parts of my…anatomy…are frozen."

"Oh. Jadeite, tell me, how did we manage to raise a prude in the Dark Kingdom?"

"I think it has something to with my lack of personality, ma'am."

"Beryl! Are you there!"

"Oh. Jadeite, hang on a minute. Yes, Jadis-baka?"

"What did you just call me?"

"Oh, baka? It's a traditional Japanese honorific."

Jadeite stifled a snigger.

"I thought you had no personality?" Beryl snarled. In truth, she wasn't angry with him, but appearances had to be kept up.

"Just because I have no personality doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humour. I can laugh evilly, and say 'Queen Beryl will be most pleased.'" Jedite grinned.

Beryl stared at him, completely ignoring the phone in her hand from which various profanities in every language save Japanese were spewing. "What did you just call me?"

Jedite blinked, and turned back into Jadeite. "My apologies, Queen Beryl-sama."

"Don't worry about it. Just as long as you don't do it again."

She turned as she heard a very annoying female laugh. Zoycite floated, playing with a rainbow crystal. "But turning into our dub versions is so much fun!" She laughed again, and disappeared in a cloud of cherry blossoms.

Beryl sighed and turned back to the phone, which was now emitting sounds of death and destruction. "Jadis-baka, I'm back. How did you get this number?"

"Oh, I borrowed Beelzebub's phone. He has all the numbers. Anyway, we're sisters, right? So we stick together."

Beryl gave the phone a blank look. "We stick together? You killed me!"

"Well, that's all over now, right? And Metallia saved you, so we should have no hard feelings, right?"

"Are you kidding! You killed me! As in as dead as Queen Serenity!"

"Who?"

"Don't worry. At any rate, I'm not helping you."

"But—"

"No buts."

"Well, I gave you a choice…"

Beryl knew that tone of voice. It was not a good tone of voice. Nor one that signified good luck for her. The last time she'd heard it, in fact, she had died.

Beryl blew up a low-ranking youma.

"Remember when we were younger and Mother read us that story about the evil sons of Adam and daughters of Eve and I got real scared and I wouldn't stop throwing up cuz I was scared?"

Beryl blinked, and remembered. "Oh, shit."

"I have the scroll. Get over here."

"How? And, pray tell, where are you?"

"Well, you take a right turn at the Time Gate, and then you—oh, who cares."

Beryl began to swear viciously when she noticed half her body dissipating in Jadis' teleportation signature of ice. She just had time to take the Shitennou with her (no sense in dying alone, after all) before Jadis' spell carried them away.

In Narnia…

A humongous ball of ice appeared before Jadis. "Wow," she mused, mumching on some shortbread. "Guess Beryl has really been piling on the kilos."

"Jadis!" Beryl screamed.

... And, yes. We do know that we are crazy.

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