Warnings: Rated T for attempted suicide.
My newest one shot. Well, not that new, it's been in the works for the past 4 months- this is the one mentioned in chapter 2 of Forbidden Footsteps. Anyway, enough chatter and more story. I might turn this into a chapter fic, but not sure yet. By the way, for those of you who don't know, if you cut your wrist, you'll bleed to death; the wound cannot be stopped. Tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I'd be in the show, and I'd be married to Gaara. Too bad I'm not...
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
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A girl of 12 stood in an alley one night, kunai held to her upturned wrist. Silent tears streamed down her face from determined eyes as she let small rivers of blood stream over the clean knife. Bruises and cuts lined her body, which she hid with long clothing. And inside, her heart was ripped in two and scarred. Her father beat her because she was a girl and was weak. Simple enough. She was unwanted at home and in public. No one ever spoke to her. She was a meaningless child, cast away for the crows. No talent as a ninja, like her brothers, and no friends. The only friends she had were the rumors that flew around her head, following her everywhere she went, never stopping their torture.
So here she was, black hair lining her face like a frame, her hand that held the knife shaking slightly as she pushed a little harder against the thin lining of skin, making the small river of blood bigger.
A voice came out of the darkness beside her. "Don't," it said.
Startled and afraid, she looked up, brown eyes wide. When she saw the red-haired demon boy step out of the shadows though, her face and hand relaxed. Their eyes met for only a moment before the two shared a connection and memory.
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"You stupid girl! You can't do anything right, can you?" A man yelled from inside a small home.
Gaara had been walking the streets alone, no one near him when he heard sounds coming from inside one of the houses. He had stopped at the corner of the house where there were dark shadows and listened. More yelling came, and a few sounds that sounded like skin meeting skin. A few yelps of pain followed each noise like a shadow. Normally he wouldn't have stopped, but something urged him to do so.
"Why can't you be like your brothers? You are so weak! You can't do anything right!" More of the sounds met Gaara's ears. The noise was loud, loud enough to wake up the surrounding houses, but no one stirred.
"Go die!" the voice yelled, and a girl was thrown out of the house, landing face first in the sand. The man slammed the door and the light was cut off, plunging the girl into darkness.
The girl panted for breath, blood spurting from her mouth, and on very shaky hands and knees she rose slowly, not caring if her black hair obscured her vision. Her cheeks were red, but not from the desert cold. Scrapes, some deep and others barely visible let crimson rivers flow along the girl's body. And her legs seemed to be made of only wounds. It was pitiful to look at.
'This girl…she's so weak and vulnerable…'A perfect chance to end her pain. Put her out of her misery, kid, and finish her off.
Gaara mentally wrestled with the Shukaku, pushing him as far back as he could. When that was done, all he could do was stare at her, teal eyes looking straight through her. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to kill her. Unlike those he killed without remorse or hesitation, he hesitated here, with her. It was strange to him. What was this feeling?She was on her knees now, and Gaara was able to look at her more clearly. Her clothes were torn, and in several places, a hole showed a bruise, blood, or both. The scars from cuts that lined her body all over were a memory to the pain she'd felt previously, destined to stay there forever. Her body looked fragile, like it was about to break, so thin.
When she moved her head to wipe away some blood, Gaara recognized her. Her name was Hieu, and she never was around anyone. Avoiding everyone, with her eyes and body. Gaara had seen her try to be perky and friendly, but the rumors and lies about her had scared everyone away.
She noticed movement in the shadows and breathed in deeply, getting ready to speak. "Who's there?" Her voice was strong; it wasn't shaking like Gaara thought it would be. Her eyes searched the exact area that she knew someone stood and Gaara stepped out into the lighter night before he changed his mind and teleported away.
Gaara was staring at her face intently, but still noticed the scars. She didn't try to cover them up, but noticed him staring at them, even if not directly. "What are you staring at?" She asked, her voice full of malice and hate. He stood there silently and she met his eyes as she asked something of him. "Gaara…will you kill me?"
The world seemed to have paused for him. No one had ever asked him to kill them before. Shukaku agreed readily, but Gaara tried to hold him back.
"Please?" The voice came from a little girl, too afraid and in pain to live. Gaara looked at her with a strange look in his eyes, one that Hieu couldn't comprehend. Hieu stared right back at him, her brown eyes begging him to move the sand and end her life right there at that exact moment. "I know why no one is ever around you, and I know why you distance yourself, so you must understand my pain. I need to die."
Gaara's nerves began to work. "No. You don't understand. You don't understand me at all." He said, venom dripping from each word spoken. And with that, he turned and left, leaving Hieu in the sand staring after him, all hope lost, like a hurt animal.
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"What did you say?" Hieu was the first to withdraw from the memory. Gaara came out a moment later as soon as he heard her voice.
"I said 'don't do it'." he responded monotone, but his eyes held a small ounce of worry.
"And why not? If I don't die here, my father will finish me off if I go back there!" she snapped at him, but the redhead was undeterred.
He could've killed her, right then and there when she opened herself right up to him. He could've ended those tears and stopped the flow in one movement. Shukaku was all ready, but the carrier wasn't.
"But…" he began, "then you couldn't see why you exist. Why you are here."
That one sentence made her stop her movement and look down at her blood-dripping arm. She lowered the kunai slowly, and raised her arm up to eye level. She stared at it for a minute, seeing the torn, bloodstained skin, and then turned back to Gaara, but he was already gone. Hieu looked around for him, everywhere, but there was no sign on her savior. She looked back down at the kunai knife held in her right hand. Blood dripped off the tip as she moved it up to look at it and moved her other arm to her chest as if to protect it. The moon reflected off the steel where blood didn't cover as well as the stars and Hieu felt a small smile prick at the corners of her mouth.
Hieu bent down then and buried the knife under the sand with her good arm. The sand grains hugged it as they covered the steel. As she buried the weapon, she thought to herself, I'm going through this pain for a reason. I'll just wait it out and see what happens…find my reason to exist. She repeated Gaara's words in her mind, turning them over and over as she stood back up and diverted her gaze from where the knife was buried. She brushed the sand-covered hand off and then wiped off her face, the small lines of tears disappearing.
Hieu began to walk, anywhere, just get away from her almost-death alley. She'd find her way, even if it meant more yelling and abuse from her father. But she'd let it roll over; it wouldn't kill her spirit like it did before. This time, she'd survive.
Review, please! Maybe I'll continue, maybe I won't. I order you to review, now!